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Still Waters

Don't tell your children they're beautiful

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Parents who can't help but tell their children they are beautiful may actually be harming their confidence, according to women's minister Jo Swinson.

The senior Lib Dem warned mothers and fathers who repeatedly praise the looks of their child could be fuelling insecurities about their looks.

Ms Swinson says seemingly innocuous comments about the hair, looks or outfit of one of their children could be reinforcing the negative message that looks are the most important thing in life.

http://www.dailymail...s-minister.html

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Or if you call them ugly then maybe later in life they will have plastic surgery...

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558902_504583992899086_915096745_n.jpg

they gotta make up their minds first methinks .....

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558902_504583992899086_915096745_n.jpg

they gotta make up their minds first methinks .....

Yep, that's true! :)

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There are degrees of everything.

Calling your daughter beautiful sometimes isn't going to give her a complex.

Calling her beautiful every five minutes and cooing over how precious and pretty and thin and lovely and wonderful may. It's also annoying.

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Well if you tell someone they don't look good enough it has a negative effect on the way they see themselves so I could see where this would also have an effect on them. Give them the big head and no one can live with them.

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Whatever I will tell my daughter shes beautiful everyday

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I told my daughter she was beautiful all the time. Still do. We also told/tell her that she is smart, funny, kind, etc.

Her beauty earned/earns her enough money to put herself through school. Studying nursing.

Nibs

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Posted (edited)

Looks and hair maybe not too often. But, cloths what are you supposed to say if a child ask how they look on their way to the prom or such place.

To be honest I have no kids. But, would never tell anyone the looked good when they don't or the reverse of that.

Edited by danielost

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a monkey is a deer in the eyes of his mother

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Whatever I will tell my daughter shes beautiful everyday

If she isnt beautiful you'll be building her up for a fall.

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If she isnt beautiful you'll be building her up for a fall.

positive behavior results positive attitude

a parent should always be positive to their children i think no matter what

the lack of positive behavior could lead children into more bad things " low self estiem " among other things

" my opinion "

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positive behavior results positive attitude

a parent should always be positive to their children i think no matter what

the lack of positive behavior could lead children into more bad things " low self estiem " among other things

" my opinion "

Totally agree. I was never told 'I love you' never mind you are beautiful. And did it do a number on my self esteem. I tell my daughter I live her snd she is beautiful and I have a confident, empathetic

girl.

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positive behavior results positive attitude

a parent should always be positive to their children i think no matter what

the lack of positive behavior could lead children into more bad things " low self estiem " among other things

" my opinion "

Feeding kids distorted perceptions of themselves stops them learning how to regulate their negative thoughts, feelings and perceptions. If they dont learn this before they reach seven its extremely hard to teach it later because the brain is too developed.

What usually happens is that as a teenager or adult they crack when the penny finally drops. Unable to regulate negative thoughts, feelings and perceptions they go neurotic/psychotic when the penny finally drops. This often results in suicide.

If you want your kid to do well in life then instead of over-protecting it let it learn how to deal with lifes situations.

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I was told by both of my devorced parents when I as sixteen that they hated me because I reminded them of the other. My dad raised me and that explains why he is abbusive to me even now when I am fifty years old and it still hurts.

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The world is a cold harsh place.

I see nothing wrong with giving a child a sense of confidence.

It's one thing if you're constantly telling your kid that they're perfect, gorgeous, handsome, the most beautiful person in the world.

But letting them know that they look great in their new outfit is another thing.

The world might be a better place if there was more positive reinforcement.

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I was told by both of my devorced parents when I as sixteen that they hated me because I reminded them of the other. My dad raised me and that explains why he is abbusive to me even now when I am fifty years old and it still hurts.

No one should be told this ever! I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Hopefully though you know better and if you remind them of each other then the flaws are their own not yours and never were. You will resemble both of your parents. Whether it be your looks and/or your manners, in the way all of us resemble our parents to some degree but regardless how much we may resemble them we are still our own person.

Children should be told their beautiful, and learn that beauty is not just on the outside. That their inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. They should also be hugged daily and told they are loved daily!

Mabon.

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I'm a bit on the fence with this.

The thing is that most children can see through the insincerity of the words we throw at them and others every day.

Most don't really fall for it though they politely smile.

Frankly I see nothing wrong with telling them they look just fine..has more of an impact then telling them how 'beautiful' they are or how 'smart' they are.

Empty words, even though delivered with a smile, are still empty.

I suppose my outlook is 'tarnished' because I never really was told I was nice looking or anything. Didn't really receive that "confidence" stuff from my parents..guess they were too busy arguing with each other to actually give me the support and encouragement I needed.

But in the end, as Mabon said, it is far more important to tell your kids at the end of the day that you love them no matter what.

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If she isnt beautiful you'll be building her up for a fall.

Why would you even quote and comment on someone telling their kid they are beautiful. Wth im sorry but thats rude... we live in two different worlds on this pls dont comment or reply to this...

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I think there is a limit. Be realistic, but not harsh.

I always knew I wasn't a looker growing up, but I knew I had nice features; my hair, my eyes, my personality. My mom wouldn't compliment me unless she spent hours dressing up and my dads opinion was "forget looks, learn a skill. Come help me put air in these tires."

Even though dad never complimented me on my looks and was often too harsh with his punishments, I feel like he understood me better. I was no model and I didn't want to be. I was a boy, not a Barbie.

Then again, if I had followed my moms ideals there would have been much less gender confusion after my dad died. But, for the most part, I'm happy with how I turned out.

It really varies from person to person with several factors involved; wealth, political party, social standing, gender (biological and real), etc.

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Posted (edited)

too bloody right, or THIS happens.....

.

http://www.dailymail...ost_read_

module

Edited by shrooma

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Tell your kids the truth if there beautiful then tell them if there ugly tell them lol.just kidding.

I know this guy from school he was the only child his mom and dad built him up from the time he was a kid

Now he thinks he is gods greatest gift and an ego manic.

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425099_198038683627487_1665467690_n.jpg

it doesn't matter what anybody looks like .... this will always make things better ...

and reminder ....

247487_586595518031266_812877174_n.jpg

it cures all ills ....

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I was told by both of my devorced parents when I as sixteen that they hated me because I reminded them of the other. My dad raised me and that explains why he is abbusive to me even now when I am fifty years old and it still hurts.

:(

Sometimes the negative projections of others though painful can give you strength and resolve that others may lak. Swords and armour are not honed in fields of flowers, it's the fire that tempers them.

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I tell my kids they are good looking, strong, and super smart amount other things. I also tell them when their being whiney, lazy, disrespectful, or Bullys to each other. I believe in telling the truth where the truth is valuable or keeping my mouth shut when it might do damage. I have never met a child that is not good looking, and I have met some very ugly gorgeous women.

My niece is very overweight. I never mention it. She is a smart kid and dosnt need me to say anything. However her weight is starting to cause her a lot of knee problems. She is only 17. I had to sit her down the last time because not even her doctor will tell her why her knees keep going out. I told the kids to leave the room and I told her the truth in the gentilist and most matter of fact way I could muster. I did not have to mention her weight she knew what I was talking about. Now she is armed with the knowledge that her knees are going to get steadily worse if she didn't bring the weight down. There is a time when the truth is positive if handled correctly.

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