please and thank you.

[danielost]

I was wondering if you still use these or not.

I rarely use please, but I almost always say thank you. I never demand things, I ask.

[Beckys_Mom]

I use both please and thank you...Like - "Gary would you PLEASE stop talking when I am trying to watch this movie?? Thank you !!" lol

My daughter is one for putting the two together at once - She'd be all - "Can I please have a cookie before my dinner? Thank you please? " ( yea says it back to front )..I say no cookies before dinner...Then I get - Awwwwww PLEASE...She uses it a LOT when she is looking something she knows that normally will get a no for an answer !!

Most common is.. Please please pretty please... * You say no* awwww go on please please puullleaseeeee? * You give in and say ok then* and it's THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU....

Edited June 19, 2013 by Beckys_Mom

[+and-then]

Well of COURSE! Hadn't you heard? Please and thank you are the magic words

[SHaYap]

yes indeed ... my furry buddy ...

thank you indeed ... and please pleases please still ...

thank goodness //

`

[Michelle]

Of course I do...I'm from the South. I even use may I, sir and ma'am without sounding condescending.

[psyche101]

I always use them. Although I must say several have commented that they do not hear it often enough in general.

[SpiritWriter]

I say please and thank you everyday

[Frank Merton]

Yes indeed, Americans are polite. The first words an American looks up in the English-Vietnamese dictionary are the words for "please" and "thank-you."

Vietnamese find it a bit too much. When a merchant sells you something and you leave, they are expected to say, "Thank you." You will get this in places where the staff is trained to deal with foreigners, but the typical Vietnamese street merchant sees the transaction is over and turns away to other business. A Vietnamese customer would see a "thank-you" in that context as excessive and patronizing.

In some ways Vietnamese, especially those with less education, can be abysmally rude. This is especially so when they jostle each other in crowds, sometimes almost knocking people over and butting in line. I am glad to see Western influence beginning to moderate this behavior.

[+and-then]

Of course I do...I'm from the South. I even use may I, sir and ma'am without sounding condescending.

I'm 52 Michelle and when I was growing up if I or my sisters forgot to respect an elder with a sir or ma'am....woe betide us! It became as instinctive as breathing and it lasts even today. I actually treasure it because it's a relic of a dying past here in the south. And it never even existed elsewhere in the country afaik. Good manners are their own reward.

[Odd Requiem]

Please, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, you're welcome, yes sir, yes ma'am. ..etc. etc. My mom was big on manners lol.

Although I'm a grown man, I have this fear instilled in the back of my mind that if I'm not polite, my mom is going to appear out of nowhere and smack me in the back of the head.

[Michelle]

I'm 52 Michelle and when I was growing up if I or my sisters forgot to respect an elder with a sir or ma'am....woe betide us! It became as instinctive as breathing and it lasts even today. I actually treasure it because it's a relic of a dying past here in the south. And it never even existed elsewhere in the country afaik. Good manners are their own reward.

Even opening doors for someone, no matter who it is, is second nature to me.

[Tia]

I also use please, thank you, open doors and let people in front of me while shopping if I have a big load and they only have a few items.

[Beckys_Mom]

I recall one time when I did visit the south in the USA...Someone said to me - Thank you ma'am ...I instantly felt weak at the knees I LOVED it.. It sounded so polite and sweet... While I was still in the south I deliberately went in and out of stores to buy a couple of items, just so I could hear them say - "Thank you ma'am ..you have a great day.".. I lapped it all up, loving it..This was new to me, because back home here in the north of Ireland, you rarely hear that, and if you do hear it, it doesn't sound as good.. What I also noticed in the south is how polite they are to you when you enter a store.. Instantly they say - Hey there, how are you?..What can I get you? OR How can I help you today? And when they address you as *Darlin*, it is like the cherry on the cake, love it... All of it so polite....

Where I come from, normally the people will say - Ahhh Cheers good stuff thanks ..And - Could you do that for me? Awww thank you, you're a sweetheart cheers.. I tend to say cheers more so...

In the Irish language... Please is - Le do thoil ..Pronounced as - Led da hull ....Thank you in Irish is - Go raibh maith agat ...Pronounced as Gar my aggat, I used to think they were saying - Guard my yoghurt lol

Edited June 19, 2013 by Beckys_Mom

[Taun]

I always use Please, Thank you, Sir or Ma'am... Even when the other person is noticably younger than I am... And will hold the door for anyone following me or coming the other direction (if I'm able)...

I like the look on the young 'uns faces when I'm getting a burger or something, and say it after they serve me... It never hurts to be polite....

I've only had one incident where a woman got angry and started lecturing me because I held the door for her and called her "Ma'am"... I let her rant for a bit and really wanted to say something along the lines of

"Ok, since you don't like Ma'am, how about "b***h"?" But contented myself with a pleasant smile and saying "Ok. Have a nice day then"

[Still Waters]

I say please and thank you everyday

So do I

[Clarakore]

Rarely ever say please but thank you? Sure, all the time.

Sir and miss are also part of my vocabulary. Now while every region has their own conventions in our city calling someone ma'am is trite and offensive. No woman I know wants to be told that.

We are allowed our own disposition as well and if a few others take offense at that then it is a good thing they do not live here. Calling someone ma'am here is only excusable when a military servicemember says it because it is a part of their culture.

Edited June 19, 2013 by The world needs you

[Beckys_Mom]

I always use Please, Thank you, Sir or Ma'am... Even when the other person is noticably younger than I am... And will hold the door for anyone following me or coming the other direction (if I'm able)...

I like the look on the young 'uns faces when I'm getting a burger or something, and say it after they serve me... It never hurts to be polite....

I've only had one incident where a woman got angry and started lecturing me because I held the door for her and called her "Ma'am"... I let her rant for a bit and really wanted to say something along the lines of

"Ok, since you don't like Ma'am, how about "b***h"?" But contented myself with a pleasant smile and saying "Ok. Have a nice day then"

I love it when Americans called me Ma'am ...Love it...I love the whole - Yes Ma'am...And Thank you ma'am ..

[Bendy Demon]

I certainly try to do that, every day.

Even at restaurants I say "I'd like..." instead of saying "Gimme..." then when the food arrives I say "Thank You". It goes a long way and lightens the mood, however slightly, of the most frazzled worker.

in our city calling someone ma'am is trite and offensive. No woman I know wants to be told that.

So what do you address a woman as? "Hey you?" (might not go to far I guess..)

[Clarakore]

So what do you address a woman as?

Miss.

Edited June 19, 2013 by The world needs you

[Frank Merton]

In Vietnam 'you' is a pronoun of respect: when Americans hear it used to get their attention, they are often offended. Such linguistic coincidences are a mine-field.

We all have different cultural ways of being polite. There is the Thai 'wai,' the Japanese bow, the Western nod and smile. (Vietnamese also smile a lot, and appreciate the American tendency to smile a lot more than most other people).

Use to be Westerners were put off by Vietnamese "staring" at them (I got that a lot). This isn't so common any more but children still stare at you, especially if you are fat. It not rudeness or dislike, but a form of envy. Children also love to run up to you and stick your hand out to get a handshake. They even count the handshakes they've gotten that day.

Just a couple more things: Vietnamese think you enjoy your food more if you chew with your mouth open. Just be prepared. Also, until very recently no one thought there was any problem with picking your nose in public, but I think Western movies have gotten that message across.

[Clarakore]

We recently saw Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani and the younger people in it called all the elders either aunt or uncle.

That was very charming.

[Frank Merton]

That's the translation, but actually it is choice of pronoun. The common friendly not-too-formal pronoun for "you" singular is the corresponding word for the relative who would be roughly the same age and sex as the person you are addressing. So if a man is about your father's age, you call him "uncle." If a man is about your age, you call him "brother."

[Clarakore]

It was a Bollywood movie so while having subtitles they did speak lots of English as well which had no need to be translated. Unsure now if they ever said aunt and uncle in plain English but I like your explanation. It makes lots of sense.

[Frank Merton]

The Vietnamese language has up to maybe sixty words that translate "you." It is not all that hard for Westerners though as the most important ones are also relative words.

Still, in my opinion English has all the world beat on that subject, with just one word to use and no rules (unless you are speaking to God or are a Quaker).

[Taun]

Rarely ever say please but thank you? Sure, all the time.

Sir and miss are also part of my vocabulary. Now while every region has their own conventions in our city calling someone ma'am is trite and offensive. No woman I know wants to be told that.

We are allowed our own disposition as well and if a few others take offense at that then it is a good thing they do not live here. Calling someone ma'am here is only excusable when a military servicemember says it because it is a part of their culture.

To a large number of women here in the States, "Miss" is offensive, they prefer the abbreviation "Ms" which they pronounce "Mizz"... Always seemed a bit pointless and silly to me, but then I'm not a Ms... And "Thank you, Mizz" just doesn't sound right ...