I'm not sure what I need, reading maybe?

[mrsmac 0710]

I have always been a different person, very sensitive in my own ways to my surroundings, other people, and situations. I've had a couple of strange situations happen that has made me wonder if there is more to myself than just being intuitive and observant. I have also wondered what someone with spiritual or psychic abilities could see in me and possibly curb my doubt in myself.

[Mikko-kun]

I could take a look at your birthchart and see if anything pops out, but I need your birthday and year at least. A birthhour and city too would be preferrable but can do without them. Your sun sign alone won't tell you too much, although if it's Pisces or another mutable sign, it can explain the sensitivity to surroundings. PM me your birth data if you're not comfortable sharing it publicly, I've taken dozens of birth datas privately and kept them all strictly secret.

You could tell a little more about that side of yours though if you dont mind, maybe an example of it in action?

Edited July 6, 2013 by Mikko-kun

[mrsmac 0710]

DOB-Julysince I have these 1, 1982. I read people's intentions really well. ( I'm trying not to sound stupid or psychotic, but I'm not sure how to explain). I have seen ghosts. I had a wreck once and to my disbelief and the other car I hit, there was no sign of it (I rear ended a car going about 50 and the other car didn't budge).I can sometimes see random objects in my mind and see them in another place as if I'm there, like a fly on the wall sort of thing, but more like a glass on the table or a pair of shoes on the floor. I have always been terrified of the dark or even empty rooms because I feel like ghosts or something is going to get me. I try to think of most of these things as coincidental, because I scare myself thinking about it. Can a real psychic see these things in me?? and give me answers and not just try to blow smoke ? I mean that in a very sincere way

sorry that messed up there in the beginning, it's July 1 1982

[Mikko-kun]

Okay.

Seeing random objects... uncontrolled just-happening clairvoyance. You have a Neptune-Lilith-Juno conjunction in Sagittarius, it may make all the things you might think of either illusions, imagination, psychic or just spiritually higher experiences, higher mental projections of all kinds basically (Neptune), are intensified by your subconscious (Lilith). It might not be too uncomfortable, especially not at first, you might've felt drawn towards what you've seen (Juno), not physically but a subtle feeling of comfort and fittingness.

You may also have a very keen sense for truth, even though at times it may be very much colored by your own personal bias and thus blind you in a way. Whether it does or doesn't, you'll still likely to experience flashes of what you think is truth beyond surfaces, the truths you can't see but know are there. These things may be of physical nature and probably are, but they may have a meaning that goes beyond what their apparent form is. For example a book, it's just pieces of paper if you dont know the words, but the meanings of words give it a whole new meaning. (Uranus)

These two things above support your psychic ability, especially the latter one, keen sense for truth. This psychic ability of yours, according to chart, in itself isn't about seeing flashes, but the flashes you see are so tightly connected to that ability that it can feel like they work as one, and you probably can't tell the difference since they're so tightly together. If you (in your mind, maybe unconsciously) convince yourself that something happened the way it did although it actually didn't, you may not be able to distinquish it from reality always. This is the repercussion of having a more insightful sense that relies on subjective perception. Your car crash seems to tell a story like this. You very easily form conjenctures, and much of them might be true for all we know, but the nature of conjenctures is that we can never be absolutely sure before we verify.

So in short, you have a very keen hunch that shows up in flashes. Although that hunch in itself is more about seeing something familiar to you, something you feel more comfortable with in a soulful level, it also allows you to see hunches of truth very clearly in flashes. Those are hunches, both very keen ones and both very tightly connected to your psychic sense. You may feel you have no control over these flashes, that they just come naturally like you said, because of Uranus and your psychic asteroid being in a very tight trine, unquestioned understanding link. These flashes may be ideas of truth, very subjective or hunchy sort of ones.

Also, you might've found it hard to have confidence in your psychic sense, because of your Jupiter (confindence, optimism) squaring your psychic asteroid so tightly., you might've found it hard to trust your abilities. It can also mean bad luck is related to them, that the ability activates more easily when bad luck or lack of truth and positiveness is involved. So simply said, your sense of negative things may be very much heightened. But confidence and trust in yourself and future are what ultimately fuels your ability too, because it's a thing of contrasts: can't have negativity if there's no positiveness, just like you'd not call shadow a shadow if you lived in a world full of darkness.

And finally, you have Orcus conjuncting your psychic asteroid. Not much at all I can say about it because of the lack of info regarding Orcus interpretations, but it's very much related to your ability. It may make you more sensitive to things related to death (as Orcus is said to be like Pluto, which is associated with death and impending issues) and animalistic senses of danger of something with a consciousness looming over you. They may be either powerful, intense or unhandled issues, or all of those, and very unconditional in that you can't choose whether they affect you or not, just how you deal with them and through there how they affect you.

It's probably good to remember with things like these, that these are senses, just ones of many senses. I'd say that a real psychic would probably tell that you're connected to the underworld and pretty much the same things I said, with more clear and shorter words.

[Mikko-kun]

Oh, and you might want to ask your family members if they've had similiar experiences, because these things can be inherited too. In your case though, I'd say that you got them from birth.

[mrsmac 0710]

I really appreciate you doing all that for me. There are many things and people in my day to day life that make me feel connected. As far as being connected to death, I feel consumed by thoughts of it, both fascination and fear. Such as what they felt right before they died, where their spirit went, and if they are going to follow me. I've watched many people die and been with them for their last minutes as a nurse. I grew up around death, my father was a grave digger and I played in cemeteries growing up. I have had instances where I felt like someone was going to die and then it happened. When I personally know the person that died , even if they are just an acquaintance, I feel closer to them. I have visions of their death when I see places where people have died, such as crosses on the side of the road, or at the lake or ocean where people have drowned, or in a bed where someone has died. I don't see their spirits but in my mind I see the grotesque figures of how they left this world. the last thing I would want to hear is that I have a connection with the non living because it feels like such a negative thing. I would like to embrace the positive.

oh, and to clarify what I meant about seeing an object as if being in the room...I  meant that I see things in  the room from  that objects perspective..

I forgot to give my birth hour and city, can it help? I was born at 1206am Conway, Arkansas

Edited July 8, 2013 by mrsmac 0710

[mrsmac 0710]

Again, thank you! Do you have any recommended reading??

Edited July 8, 2013 by mrsmac 0710

[Mikko-kun]

Sorry for not getting back sooner, had a lot of things on my mind lately.

So death has been part of your life for as long as you can remember. I haven't read anything related to this subject really, but I know there's books about reincarnation for one, and NDE's, you might wanna check some of them to get a better picture of what you're experiencing.

Your Jupiter lies in 2nd house, house of objects and items (usually ones you own), also house of things you value. This means your vision should be triggered in situations where such physical objects or things you value, are involved. And your vision works by relating to others very much (the opposite would be that you'd see them strictly from your perspective), that you can relate to other objects or people without personally experiencing what they have experienced. Jupiter comes after Pluto, the planet that's associated with death (not often with our own deaths though), in your chart. So it makes sense you'd have these visions after you sensed someone had died there. And that sense should be more accurate than what a normal person has, for your visions to be triggered in places where we normally wouldn't know someone had died, like in lakes or road crossings. And it's not so much about knowing by reading from it or knowing because someone said you someone died there, but because you sense it. That sense, is supported by your subconscious genius, the genius you might know exists but dont probably know how to consciously use it. And even if you knew, you wouldn't probably understand how to connect it with your sense of death, because their mutual working-together comes so naturally to you you dont need to give it more than one conscious thought.

Lately you may have felt to work out these visions step-by-step, what's behind them and what's your responsibility in all this. And that feeling may come again in two years. I dont know if this helps dealing with the visions, but it's certainly a good time to learn more about them. You know why people are quiet in the funeral? Because our sense of death is connected to our hearing sense. They both are ruled by Pluto. Something to do with this planet is also deep-buried issues, something we wouldn't want to admit to ourselves even though deep down we know how things should be. It's an animalistic instinct of knowing if something's wrong.

Also, 8th house is how we handle situations where death is involved. You have much Taurus there, so you'd like those situations be more comfortable and smooth and esthetic, rather than ugly and grotesque, something associated with it's opposite sign Scorpio, the darkness of zodiac. And your Venus in Gemini tells the same story too, that you'd prefer to see more traditionally-beautiful things than what you see. Just so you know you dont have a reason to doubt your tastes, even according to the chart.

That said, I dont know how to switch off your visions nor how you could make yourself feel less bad about them. I can only say that suppressing anything only tends to make it stronger in these terms. And from my experience, things like these can be made more comfortable to live with if you uncover the full scheme behind all this, both where these visions come from and why you feel the way you do about them. In any case it doesn't sound like the dead are calling you as much as it sounds like you having something like an additional sense that lets you see all this, it's what your chart says very much. That thought might give you some rest, that you are more an observer than someone involved, at least according to my analysis, though we all are involved with each other in some way, be it how roundabout way it is.

[mrsmac 0710]

I would love to learn about these relationships you talk about, I'm not sure what it is even called?

[Mikko-kun]

You mean aspects between planets? Those are the same as relationships between parts of our psyche or mind. They can conflict each other, or work together without question. Or something else... if you wanted to know more about them in your chart, I can make a little more detailed analysis perhaps, with a bit more thought. Might take some time though, or it might come in parts. Or I can give you some links if you want to do self-studying or try another astrologer for a second viewpoint, I'd very much recommend that.

I'll post you your chart one of these days anyhow, and a link to where you can get second opinions. Meanwhile if you have something spesific in mind, or something else you can tell about them, please do.

Right now should be a good time to go through these visions with your unconscious genius. Last weekend it may have been involved even more, much more, than usual... it may have come to you without asking, and there may have been some feeling of conflict regarding your idea of self-identity, but not much more conflict as far as I see. Experimenting ideas of self-identity, self-image, through people important in your life. Can be just anyone who has even a bit meaningful role to your life, be friend or enemy. Through them you discover those ideas which you use to build ideas about yourself, what you are and self-identity, at this time. And that process may conflict and challenge your visions in some way, they may become less pleasant. Or more of them may become. If you suppress it, however, they may become more out of control, so it's best to learn to take them in as they come since Pluto is also the planet of truths. Detectives and psychologist have it well-aspected or can benefit from it in their work of uncovering sometimes disturbing things.

One thing I find much comfort when dealing with Pluto, is that no matter what disturbing things you uncover, you can give them more of a closure the more you uncover them. Getting more acquinted with the idea that there'll always be some things in life which'll be left without some more final closure, might bring relief, because it might be these closures that you keep seeking, that's what Pluto in my experience does. Provides closures through providing you with the truths you so-much need for those closures. But in life there's always more closures and better closures to be done, but we should stop somewhere with that thing, or draw a line, so we can live our life and not let it be consumed by that process. A time and a place for everything.