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alibongo

A New Religion

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Posted (edited)

All Hail the Goddess BM!!!

:nw::nw: :nw: :nw:

Even better- Goddess Elizabeth Arden, from the city of Clinique, who lives across the Chanel river from Lancome, formely known as the MAC republic..Her leading mayor is known as MAX Faxtor, and she gives all of her supporters the Bare Escentuals to protect them from the devil who wears Prada... :D

Blimey, that in a way does look like a cosmetic religion lol

Edited by Beckys_Mom

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Throws chocolate and RUNNNNN......

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I can see banning pork; pigs are smarter than the average barnyard animal. Does anyone know any anthropological reason the ban got started?

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Posted (edited)

Peter Hitchens on why heaven hates ham:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LoWVkSyC0o

Edited by alibongo

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Posted (edited)

Start off by getting yourself some lawyers. At least a tax lawyer and another lawyer to handle all the government paperwork. And perhaps a libel and civil lawyer too. Hate to say look to the WBC for inspiration, but they do indeed have their lawyer action down pat. And don't skimp on shelling out the big bucks for your lawyers- they are the ones who might be able to keep you out of trouble if/when the law is against you.

I'm being serious about this. You have already stated you want to make money, want to declare charity status, and want to use a tax exemption status to shift money around. Every business needs lawyers, and the gov usually frowns on money making charities that use tax exempt status to shift money around. A good lawyer could probably take your comments in this thread to prove you set out on a scam under the guise of religion.

An oh... You probably would want to come up with a good solid idea for a new religion too. That usually helps.

Edit: almost forgot.. the charity of "me" does not count as a charity- lots of folks have already been busted for that.

Edited by rashore
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My guess would be trichinosis? I have had a few run inns with pigs, turn about is fare play.

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late as usual in commenting :P but this sounds very close to scientology, so you need something new..

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Posted (edited)

late as usual in commenting :P but this sounds very close to scientology, so you need something new..

I know, that is why I need something spooky, like a crystal skull, or weird writing, or an ancient stone circle. Or even that strange Grecian clockwork thing recovered from the Med.Once I have the ancient relic, I can bring in the mystic ****, and get it all started. I'm thinking like rebirth, so you get to bang all the chicks you didn't think you could when you were younger.Gotta be money in it.Just as start up. Once the religion is rolling, then I'll get more serious about it.All this redemption and sin nonsense, the punters will lap it up.

Edited by alibongo
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I know, that is why I need something spooky, like a crystal skull, or weird writing, or an ancient stone circle. Or even that strange Grecian clockwork thing recovered from the Med.Once I have the ancient relic, I can bring in the mystic ****, and get it all started. I'm thinking like rebirth, so you get to bang all the chicks you didn't think you could when you were younger.Gotta be money in it.Just as start up. Once the religion is rolling, then I'll get more serious about it.All this redemption and sin nonsense, the punters will lap it up.

wouldn't it be better and easier to make it something more real? People grasp faster at things based on truth.

So how about using something good, make it sound G O O D for mother earth (gaia) that in turn takes care of its members who in turn take care of you!

make it a cross between new age stuff, and just plain common sense, when you do that, maybe you will create something healthy without damaging anyone and in the process make you a bit of money, though you may not be rich, it would be steady.

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wouldn't it be better and easier to make it something more real? People grasp faster at things based on truth.

So how about using something good, make it sound G O O D for mother earth (gaia) that in turn takes care of its members who in turn take care of you!

make it a cross between new age stuff, and just plain common sense, when you do that, maybe you will create something healthy without damaging anyone and in the process make you a bit of money, though you may not be rich, it would be steady.

remember, freedom to create a religion does not take out the damage that can be done, but that is up to you, if your inner morals and honor means anything if pple actually believe your stuff and end up going to far with it.

simpler is better. less damage that way, since in the end, religion is after all.. a cult.

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Let make bacon the holy sacrament. Blessings of the bacon all around.

I say lets make - Chocolate our holy sacrament...

Careful, now.

This is how religious wars start.

History will tell of the dark days of the Bacon Crusades and Chocolate Jihad.

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Posted (edited)

Careful, now.

This is how religious wars start.

History will tell of the dark days of the Bacon Crusades and Chocolate Jihad.

i say you need a religion that honors something that used to be condemned.. i normally would say a cat, but cats got their revenge.. when they killed off as many as they could for witchery, not enough mice got eaten.. so the plague came round.

so not the cat.

carbonated beverages? well i would say kool aid but alas, jim jones messed that up..

howsabout masks, all pple must wear masks, they make them.. to describe their 'inner spirit'... hrmmm well maybe not that..

well, mud.

Everyone needs to be naked as much as possible. Rejoice in mud.. rejoice.. from dust to dust.. add a bit of water.. and grow some people!

my son said wylie coyote is the symbol of mud.. something bout him saying his name is mud.. hrmm.. don't remember that one.

but my daughter said there is a song out there called 'my name is mud', I am not sure how right she is either.. i prefer the song about salty balls myself.

your religion needs a song.

aahhhh she sent me the lyrics

"My Name Is Mud"

My name is Mud

Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis

My name is mud and it's always been

'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-b**** you've ever seen

I dress in blue-yes navy blue

From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes

I make 'em shine, well most the time

'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine

Six foort two and rude as hell

I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell

My name is Mud

My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie

That's long for Mud so I've been told

Told that by this sonsab**** that lies before me bloated blue and cold

I've got my pride, I drink my wine

I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months

Or were it years

The breath on that fat b****** could bring any man to tears

We had our words, a common spat

So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat

My name is Mud

Edited by willowdreams
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Posted (edited)

wouldn't it be better and easier to make it something more real? People grasp faster at things based on truth.

So how about using something good, make it sound G O O D for mother earth (gaia) that in turn takes care of its members who in turn take care of you!

make it a cross between new age stuff, and just plain common sense, when you do that, maybe you will create something healthy without damaging anyone and in the process make you a bit of money, though you may not be rich, it would be steady.

I know I have to be careful, there are people who are too gullible and take things too much to heart. It has to be something that, above all, does no harm, but brings some joy (actually that would probably be a first for a religion).And no holy wars about chocolate vs. bacon. Both are good, in their own way. Maybe the pig is the answer. The pig gives us everything we need in life- bacon sandwiches,pork,crackling,ham, gammon, trotters, suckling pig, hog roast, ham and pea soup, eggs and bacon, smoky bacon, crispy bacon, bacon, bacon, and bacon. Plus it is reviled by all other religions. This could be it! The mysterious power of the pig, finally revealed! Man CAN live by pig alone.

Edited by alibongo

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Religions should be respected and honored; scams should be denounced and the perpetrators put in jail. So what do you do if something is both a religion and a scam?

Or a scam labeled religion. The difference being, of course, tax-exempt status.

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I am seriously thinking of starting a new religion. Obviously, it will involve costs, and I aim to cover those and perhaps make a bit as well (I need the money to be honest)..

It will need to be popular enough so I can claim charitable status for tax reasons.

I am thinking along the lines of: all humans are weak and vulnerable (most people think that in moments of doubt),but you can meet lost loved ones, and even meet new people to love, if you subscribe to it.The religion will unlock hidden talents you did not know you possess.

I am thinking of gradually more expense involved as you progress, but I also need subscribers to feel they are benefiting spiritually from my new religion.

I am thinking: the discovery of a previously lost ancient artefact which has mysterious, but potent, forces which can only be unlocked through study and expense

I think this is an ideal forum to ask for ideas. I know the usual original sinners and redemption ideas are popular, but I want this religion to really get people's imagination and enthusiasm.

What do you think are the requirements for a new religion to really take off?

Hasn't Hubbard already done that? Much of religion is a con game, that is why you need a deep spirituality to stay in a religious path and still grow.

peace

mark

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Religions should be respected and honored; scams should be denounced and the perpetrators put in jail. So what do you do if something is both a religion and a scam?

This is good question. We could do a whole topic on what is scam and what is religion.

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Careful, now.

This is how religious wars start.

History will tell of the dark days of the Bacon Crusades and Chocolate Jihad.

Ha ha nice one

No wait...

Bacon and chocolate don't mix.. <_< I am making it an abomination ...Whoever eats bacon in the same way they would chocolate, or both together, is an abomination before the goddess..May the chocolate stains be forever on their faces lol

I will be a goddess who will demand sacrifices... Each month, ( conveniently) I will gladly accept any home made chocolate fudge cake, those who do not comply will be sent to chocolate hell, where they will be made suffer eating chocolate that has passed it's sell by date for eternity !!!

Ohh dear, it just gets more ridiculous as it goes lol :P

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OH....MY........WORD... How dare you post up such blasphemous text... :o . Well, you will spend eternity eating chocolate that has passed it's sell by date...I could sentence you to - > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_by_Chocolate lol

If you want to be saved, I suggest you enter our chocolate confession box and repent... Say 10 hail fudges, and never commit this sin again...

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:gun: :gun: :gun:
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Posted (edited)

:gun: :gun: :gun:

I am going to set my cat on you hissssssssssssssss !!!.................After she finishes her supper, then you are for it !!

Edited by Beckys_Mom
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Floating the idea of starting a new religion to make money takes some heavy-duty, solid iron cannonballs. Not even Jesus got into such a groove. That being said, may all your adherents be extremely poor and unable to underwrite your fantasy, and may your works of love and charity be free as well as numerous. Bless you in your selfless endeavors.

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I am going to set my cat on you hissssssssssssssss !!!.................After she finishes her supper, then you are for it !!

If she does what my cat does when finishes her supper I have nothing to fear. zzzzzzzzz

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No wait...

Bacon and chocolate don't mix.. <_< I am making it an abomination ...Whoever eats bacon in the same way they would chocolate, or both together, is an abomination before the goddess..May the chocolate stains be forever on their faces lol

Now, this is the kind of religious intolerance I have no time for. It employs the either / or fallacy, and is responsible for some of the worst atrocities in the history of the human race.

There's no theological justification to proclaim that bacon and chocolate cannot co-exist. For example, chocolate everyday - bacon butties on a friday. Works for me.

However, whomsoever would consume bacon and chocolate simultaneously is clearly in league with The Dark One. Crucifixion's too good for them.

:devil:

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