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alibongo

A New Religion

71 posts in this topic

So what do you do if something is both a religion and a scam?

Drown it in a bathtub then bury it in a hole so deep it can never claw its way back out?

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Posted (edited)

.....

Everyone needs to be naked as much as possible.

......

I LIKE this thinking. This is the sort of creative thinking I need. Everyone is keen on naked.

I am also impressed with the conflict being expressed about bacon vs. chocolate. Every religion needs good and evil, and sacrosanct rules. Preferably illogical. Even to question these rules will be to demonstrate wavering faith.

Edited by alibongo

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Ha ha nice one

No wait...

Bacon and chocolate don't mix.. <_< I am making it an abomination ...Whoever eats bacon in the same way they would chocolate, or both together, is an abomination before the goddess..May the chocolate stains be forever on their faces lol

I will be a goddess who will demand sacrifices... Each month, ( conveniently) I will gladly accept any home made chocolate fudge cake, those who do not comply will be sent to chocolate hell, where they will be made suffer eating chocolate that has passed it's sell by date for eternity !!!

Ohh dear, it just gets more ridiculous as it goes lol :P

Great! Let's have a few abominations! I hadn't thought of that! Let's have some Original Sin too- now I am thinking: in the beginning, everyone loved bacon, then chocolate was introduced....or the other way around.

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I would rather worship the dog. Give her a belly scratch and she is good. I worship the dog and you worship the cat now we'll have to go to war to see which is one true and loving God of peace.

Now THAT is what I need! Let us kill each other to demonstrate who is the most tolerant and loving! Of course, we do not need to actually do it, but we can demonstrate our kindness by threatening hostility and retribution! There are some cracking ideas (or should I say, crackling ideas) around!

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i found your post so funny i spoke with someone about it today outside my family *shocker for me too*.. they laughed and said.. are they making their own god too? if so, tell them to use duct tape!

so there you have it

duct tape

now.. if you put duct tape to nudity.. what would it equal? no hair of course.

*ok, now i am afraid of how my mind is working*

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That is good stuff! The only, and big, difference is, I am not peddling snake oil or taking the Michael, like everyone else. My religion is the only one and true one. It is the real deal. It explains why we exist, and what happens after death. I'll be looking for Apostles soon (initially on commission only, after that we will look at salaries and possibly pensions),would you be interested?

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That is good stuff! The only, and big, difference is, I am not peddling snake oil or taking the Michael, like everyone else. My religion is the only one and true one. It is the real deal. It explains why we exist, and what happens after death. I'll be looking for Apostles soon (initially on commission only, after that we will look at salaries and possibly pensions),would you be interested?

only if i get to join for free, be naked playing in the mud.. and duct tape can be my new bestest friend *winkwink*

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This theme has passed the sublime and is well into the ridiculous

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This theme has passed the sublime and is well into the ridiculous

now we can say it is a true religion

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A new religion? Sweet! Does it come prepackaged with maps to heaven, hell and all the zen worlds? :P Were off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz

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First thing, willowdreans, get rid of that little ant ****.It is distracting.Then lets pm to firm up the fundamentals.

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Posted (edited)

This theme has passed the sublime and is well into the ridiculous

AHA A new religion inspiration....The grumpytologists ..Every person showing humour, having fun or feeling happy is an abomination ..How dare any one show signs of fun, laughter and sit laughing , you are plain ridiculous.. .Don't you know that smiling can cause your face to crack? <_<

What is banned and an abomination.... Chocolate ( I hear it releases the happy hormones * shudders * ) comedy, laughter, fun, merrimint, cheering, smiling, joy, jokes, excitement, humour, giggles, beer ( it can create happy drunks ) and ....lols.

You lot should know by now that fun and laughter is not the best medicine, whoever came up with that nonsense was deceiving you...you foools,....It's high time you all sat high on the pretentious pedestal of shaming others, look down on them all, and remind them how ridiculous they all are... Remember, sadness, anger, and grumpyness is good for the soul..Heaven help anyone who dares to tell me to lighten up and chillax..I should have you all reported and deported out of here..grrrrrr. :angry:

I'm joking Frank, I couldn't imagine anyone being so grumpy and serious non stop every day of their lives, it wouldn't be healthy...So, try it, show us a smile, and a sign that you do have a personality underneath that dry exterior lol...I kid :P ....Ohhhh boy !!

Edited by Beckys_Mom
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If she does what my cat does when finishes her supper I have nothing to fear. zzzzzzzzz

It depends on the weather.. If it's cold outside, she will curl up on your lap and zzzzzzzzz...Recently it's been too hot, she prefers to roam outside at night with her brother..

Now, this is the kind of religious intolerance I have no time for. It employs the either / or fallacy, and is responsible for some of the worst atrocities in the history of the human race.

There's no theological justification to proclaim that bacon and chocolate cannot co-exist. For example, chocolate everyday - bacon butties on a friday. Works for me.

However, whomsoever would consume bacon and chocolate simultaneously is clearly in league with The Dark One. Crucifixion's too good for them.

:devil:

lol @ bacon on a Friday.... You have to remember our biggest celebration - Easter, the time to eat all chocolate idols, chocolate bunnys galore..

Now THAT is what I need! Let us kill each other to demonstrate who is the most tolerant and loving! Of course, we do not need to actually do it, but we can demonstrate our kindness by threatening hostility and retribution! There are some cracking ideas (or should I say, crackling ideas) around!

Jokes aside... When we look at how the world truly is... The cults and religions that are seen as brutal and negative by many, ironically these cults seem to lay the bigger impact on the world than the good... They say good trumps evil, but reality is, the most negative of all will be the one to leave a bigger impact.... More people these days tend to be in favour of defending the most brutal, and slam the good.... Fear is the key, and if it can strike fear to a point where you fear speaking out against it, then it truly does trump others.

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Thank you but worshiping cats is funny enough for me.

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First thing, willowdreans, get rid of that little ant ****.It is distracting.Then lets pm to firm up the fundamentals.

My bug Esma, stays *nods sagely*.. *grins* Esma is a sneaky lil one and can spy on what others are saying..

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Thank you but worshiping cats is funny enough for me.

Who worships cats?........

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A new religion? Sweet! Does it come prepackaged with maps to heaven, hell and all the zen worlds? :P Were off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz

No no no no no. I't the Lizard of Oz, that's what makes it new.

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No no no no no. I't the Lizard of Oz, that's what makes it new.

Hey stall the ball...I like that.. If Hollywood made a name movie ( Like a parody ) naming it - The Lizard of Oz, I would watch it..

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Posted (edited)

Hey stall the ball...I like that.. If Hollywood made a name movie ( Like a parody ) naming it - The Lizard of Oz, I would watch it..

You have liked some of my posts, but I am sorry to say you may be surprised how harsh I can be. I am growing tired of frivolity, as my god is a jealous god, as he is the only god.We will soon be doing some smiting, so the bacon vs. chocolatiers had better decide which side of the fence they are on. Once we have decided which is best, bacon or chocolate, we will start some mighty smiting, as one or the other is an abomination in the sight of my lord. And this side- tracking with regard to domestic pets, it means nothing, once we have decided on pigs vs. choc, we will decide on cats vs. dogs.

Edited by alibongo

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You have liked some of my posts, but I am sorry to say you may be surprised how harsh I can be.

As of today, no..

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