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Too funny!


Aggie

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CONAN bit was great but seriously or on that note your previous study post was REHEHEHEEEEALLY GOOD !

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  • 2 weeks later...
 
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:lol:

 

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  • 5 weeks later...

Replace "Park life" with "Grunt Life"

 

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Human Bicycle

 

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On 3/26/2017 at 5:44 PM, Claire. said:

There are several more. Here's a compilation if you want more laughs.

 

Are they like my Severus Snapes? 

LOL

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On 2/20/2017 at 7:36 PM, .ZZ. said:

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him.

You were the first one with an alternative cat. You should have trademarked that ****.

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  • 3 weeks later...
 

b322bb9e8aa22dd887de9ece2d8c0834--x-file

Edited by WhispersInTheAttic
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Little Johnny Johnson was born with no arms or legs. As he grew up he would always be perched by his window watching the neighborhood kids play baseball,  dreaming of one day being able to play with them. Then one day the neighborhood kids came up and knocked on the door, Mrs. Johnson answered the door and they asked her if Johnny could come out and play baseball with them. Mrs. Johnson, being skeptical, said that's not funny boys, you know he has no arms and no legs. To which the boys said, yes but we wanted to use him as home plate.

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  • 2 weeks later...
From the mouths of babes… Kids say the darnedest things. Sometimes they don’t even know what they’re saying, and sometimes they do.
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of b****es who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b****es who are getting on, get your asses on the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”
The mother was upset at hearing her son curse like a sailor. She walked into the room and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.”
She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are p***ed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b**** in the kitchen.”
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I TOLD MY SON, "YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE."

HE SAID, "NO." 

I TOLD HIM, "SHE IS BILL GATES DAUGHTER."

HE SAID, "YES."

I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, "I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON,"

BILL GATES SAID, "NO"

I TOLD BILL GATES, "MY SON IS THE C.E.O. OF WORLD BANK."

BILL GATES SAID, "OK"

I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE C.E.O.

HE SAID, "NO"

I TOLD HIM, "MY SON IS BILL GATES SON-IN-LAW"

HE SAID, "OK"


THIS IS EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS

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