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Elfin

Was Jesus a vampire, or a zombie?

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He collected a group of followers around him and told them to drink his blood, and then, when he was killed, he came back to life 3 days later.

Or was he a zombie, since he also told his followers to eat his body?

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Are you asking in the fictional story of jesus was he a vampire?

I guess not as he wouldn't have been killed by crusifiction if a true vampire.

Zombie, hmm could be.

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Was Jesus a vampire, or a zombie?

Or maybe a saviour or a holy man?

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Are you asking in the fictional story of jesus was he a vampire?

I guess not as he wouldn't have been killed by crusifiction if a true vampire.

Zombie, hmm could be.

He wasn't killed by crucifixion. He came back to life after 3 days.

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Why would a zombie want people to eat its body?

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Why would a zombie want people to eat its body?

He's probably more of a vampire then.

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He's probably more of a vampire then.

If vampire, I get the drinking blood part because some myths say you have to share the blood, yadda yadda. But eat the body makes no sense in either form.

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If vampire, I get the drinking blood part because some myths say you have to share the blood, yadda yadda. But eat the body makes no sense in either form.

In older folklore, vampires were a lot more like reanimated corpses than the romantic figures of current imagination. Eating human flesh was not beyond them.

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In older folklore, vampires were a lot more like reanimated corpses than the romantic figures of current imagination. Eating human flesh was not beyond them.

Yes, I love the old stories; the vrykolokas, the jiangshi and all that. But it would seem detrimental for the creature for others to consume its flesh.

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Yes, I love the old stories; the vrykolokas, the jiangshi and all that. But it would seem detrimental for the creature for others to consume its flesh.

They don't consume all of it, just a small part, so that they can become vampires too.

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Posted (edited)

Was Jesus a vampire, or a zombie?

I'm an apathethic agnostic, and I still go with 'holy man'.

Prove the existence of your 'vampires' and 'zombies'.

Edit: Because you introduced them first.

Edited by Likely Guy

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They don't consume all of it, just a small part, so that they can become vampires too.

I still think so many consuming even a tiny piece would still leave notable marks or cause a detriment. Besides, we can't prove anything about Jesus, so, who knows? He could have been a shaved Bigfoot for all we know.

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I still think so many consuming even a tiny piece would still leave notable marks or cause a detriment. Besides, we can't prove anything about Jesus, so, who knows? He could have been a shaved Bigfoot for all we know.

And yet, we know that if you only take small pieces, it will grow back. If you add it all up, Christians must have eaten countless millions of tons of Jesus every Sunday for the past 2000 years. Where does all this come from? Are there vast storage vats concealed under the Vatican, where Jesus's flesh is grown in petri dishes then sent out to every church, every week?

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And yet, we know that if you only take small pieces, it will grow back. If you add it all up, Christians must have eaten countless millions of tons of Jesus every Sunday for the past 2000 years. Where does all this come from? Are there vast storage vats concealed under the Vatican, where Jesus's flesh is grown in petri dishes then sent out to every church, every week?

You mean those crackers? Those are just symbolism.

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Yeah, maybe this topic should be relegated to the creative writing forum.

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You mean those crackers? Those are just symbolism.

Not according to Catholic doctrine. Accordig to them, it really is his flesh.

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Not according to Catholic doctrine. Accordig to them, it really is his flesh.

Some people take symbolism too seriously?

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Posted (edited)

Some people take symbolism too seriously?

No more than some people take vampires and zombies too seriously, apparently.

Edit: skipped letter.

Edited by Likely Guy

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No more tha some people take vampires and zombies too seriously, apparently.

To each their own. This seems more like a... What's the word or phrase? More like... Poking fun?

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To each their own. This seems more like a... What's the word or phrase? More like... Poking fun?

Like I said, I'm an apathetic agnostic. But even to me, this seems 'aggresively antagonistic'.

No more no less than others have subscribed.

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Yeah, maybe this topic should be relegated to the creative writing forum.

LG, you are being generous.

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No more no less than others have subscribed.

And maybe, in that spirit, this topic should be 'given a rest'? :)

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He was both, he also kicked puppies.

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Posted (edited)

He was both, he also kicked puppies.

You couldn't resist, could you? :)

Edit: Now THAT was 'poking fun'.

Edited by Likely Guy

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Maybe an Illusionist? Started off with basic distraction tricks, like turning water into wine. Stepped it up by walking on water. Then his major stunt was being crucified and coming back to life three days later. Not that different than David Blaine being encased in ice for days.

But I agree this should be in the creative writing section. I enjoy tongue-in-cheek jokes but some people get offended easily.

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