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White Crane Feather

Beware of "the game"

30 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

It probably started when I was in second grade as i would walk to school. Out of sheer child hood creativity, I invented a racing game. As I was walking I would hear a car coming behind me and I would race it to a specific spot. A tree, and corner whatever. I knew the car was faster than me, but I usually had a pretty good head start and I knew about how far I could make it before the car would ketch up. I would say to myself "ok, here it comes, if I don't beat it I'm going to die, or fall into a pit of hot lava."

Well... I played this game just about every day. It started to take on a new life. I almost started to believe I would die if I did not win the race. Intellectually I knew it was all made up, but it progressed to the point that I would feel overwhelming fear upon hearing a car behind me, and I was forced to race it. It degraded into me having to do it every time, and I basically sprinted to school every morning terrified. It went on for a while, ( I never told anyone about it because I knew it was silly, yet I was strangely bound by it.)

Eventually one day I had had enough. I mustered everything I had not to race the cars. I had to turn around and stare them down, then I just had to gather my strength and not let it bother me. It took a while, but eventually is was not a problem anymore... Yet it was always in there in the back of my mind ever time I heard a car approaching from behind me.

Fast forward to adult hood. I watch a documentary about OCD. Some kids had created very similar games to mine. One kid became obsessed with ceiling side walk cracks so no body's mother would ever break their backs. It was so bad for him he became disabled because all he could do was walk around dragging his foot. It looked like he was severely injured but he was just fine... Physically. I knew then that I had narrowly avoided something like this.

Anyway, observing my six year old, I have noticed him making up similar games. Just the other day all of a sudden be bolted down the side walk. I asked him why he did that, and he said "I had to beat the car". I was floored, he had recreated my game. I of course never told him about it. He also races our car with an imaginary plum of lava rolling down the street.

It's all innocent of course, but I know better. If you have children pay close attention to how they motivate themselves, and cultivate a completely open relationship while asking them questions about what they where thinking when they do certain things. Never chastise or be little redirect if you have to by playing with them, but make sure they are doing the direction. Our minds are more powerful than I think most people realize. And beware of the game.

To this day, i still feel that slight twinge when a car is approaching me from behind.

Edited by White Crane Feather
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Did you ever attack the cars, like some dogs do?

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Posted (edited)

Did you ever attack the cars, like some dogs do?

No.... But imagine a seven year old walking backwards on the side walk giving you the dirtiest look while you drive by. That was part of the solution until I realized that it was simply a new problem and stopped doing that as well.

Edited by White Crane Feather
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That's very interesting, something I also know about but never mentioned, or ever heard it mentioned. I had a variation when I was about the same age. When walking down the sidewalk (railway tracks) I was a locomotive hauling a train. Crossing the road to me was the same as crossing a bridge over a river, and vehicles were ships that would crash into the bridge. So it wasn't just me that had to get over the road (bridge) safetly, I had to get further down the sidewalk so I knew all the carridges behind me were across as well.

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Oh well, when I was a little younger than that I thought I would be able to fly if I just believed it hard enough and held out my arms while running with my eyes closed.

One day I ran into a barbed-wire fence. People who saw it happen could not understand how I could have done such a thing, and I didn't tell them.

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That's very interesting, something I also know about but never mentioned, or ever heard it mentioned. I had a variation when I was about the same age. When walking down the sidewalk (railway tracks) I was a locomotive hauling a train. Crossing the road to me was the same as crossing a bridge over a river, and vehicles were ships that would crash into the bridge. So it wasn't just me that had to get over the road (bridge) safetly, I had to get further down the sidewalk so I knew all the carridges behind me were across as well.

I imagine this happens with many kids. it's just some end up taking it way to far.

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Oh well, when I was a little younger than that I thought I would be able to fly if I just believed it hard enough and held out my arms while running with my eyes closed.

One day I ran into a barbed-wire fence. People who saw it happen could not understand how I could have done such a thing, and I didn't tell them.

I was convinced if I could just find two fly swatters I could flap them like wings. One day I got two, and no matter how hard I flapped them jumping of the coffee table would not lead to flight.

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Mary Poppins nearly broke my leg when I was a kid.. lol..

One day (after watching Mary Poppins) I got the idea that armed with an umbrella and a ladder left leaning against the house I could... well, you know where this story is going don't you..

Mary Poppins is a fraud!

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This sounds like a very interesting game....

but a bit scary.

I think Ouija is a much more dangerous game though...

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Mary Poppins nearly broke my leg when I was a kid.. lol..

One day (after watching Mary Poppins) I got the idea that armed with an umbrella and a ladder left leaning against the house I could... well, you know where this story is going don't you..

Mary Poppins is a fraud!

That is an amusing visualization.

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time to play the game...

WWE-RAW-Triple-H-John-Cena_946612.jpg

Im ocd too, I can relate to your post.

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Hah! I used to go Fairy and mermaid hunting....never found then though, I guess somebody stole them away...

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I am the least ocd person around well there is one thing with a light switch, they but a dimmer on a switch for a ceiling fan its just bad wiring! but i made up games like that. I would do the same thing i picked a spot and if i got there I would pick another spot farther. It was just to see how much farther i could get when the car caught up.

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I don't consider myself OCD. I just think the really bad cases start with things like this.

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Mary Poppins nearly broke my leg when I was a kid.. lol..

One day (after watching Mary Poppins) I got the idea that armed with an umbrella and a ladder left leaning against the house I could... well, you know where this story is going don't you..

Mary Poppins is a fraud!

Same story, different inspiration.

...I dislike the Penguin from Batman to this day

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When I was younger and we went on car rides I would imagine a creature swinging along the trees and lightpoles to keep up with the car

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I was talking with a friend the other day who has lost 2 of her children to some form of this OCD. Both died very young, 13 &16 I think..

They would do something like running with, or faster than cars, as outlined in the OP..

I don't understand OCD, so can't quite comprehend this apart from my own silly but almost instinctual want or need to ensure that when hanging the washing on the line I need to ensure the clothes pegs are of matching colors. But I sure as hell can understand, through my friend, the sheer gravity of her loss, and the destructive power this "game" has caused.. Both of her kids died by running into traffic. I only hope more people realize that controlling forces like OCD, aren't confined to those who suffer from it. It's victims are their friends, their families, and those who by no fault of their own, end up taking their lives because of a game that takes them out of control.

This is a problem that is a lot bigger than I originally thought..

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Tiresome work becomes less tiresome if you make a game of it.

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I was talking with a friend the other day who has lost 2 of her children to some form of this OCD. Both died very young, 13 &16 I think..

They would do something like running with, or faster than cars, as outlined in the OP..

I don't understand OCD, so can't quite comprehend this apart from my own silly but almost instinctual want or need to ensure that when hanging the washing on the line I need to ensure the clothes pegs are of matching colors. But I sure as hell can understand, through my friend, the sheer gravity of her loss, and the destructive power this "game" has caused.. Both of her kids died by running into traffic. I only hope more people realize that controlling forces like OCD, aren't confined to those who suffer from it. It's victims are their friends, their families, and those who by no fault of their own, end up taking their lives because of a game that takes them out of control.

This is a problem that is a lot bigger than I originally thought..

Yes I think this particular version is far more than what we typically think of as OCD. I don't think I have any OCD other than posting on these forums, yet as a child I distinctly remember the overwhelming urg to race those cars. And I still can feel it, though its just a memory, when the curcumstances line up even today. I think children have to be very careful how they speak to themselves and parents should try to understand what's happening with them.

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I think it would be interesting to know if there is a period of time in child development where the mind is specifically prone to this and the imagination techniques that are taught to children. I can remember a few "isms" i had a as a child, all based in fear, and that is what ocd is, a way of modifying behaviour to control the feelings of fear/loss of control. One was water related, one was about ceilings and roofs falling in, but more specifically about the cracks that would appear on ceilings. I would scan every ceiling i was under looking for cracks and only stand or sit where there were no cracks.

That one stemmed from nursery school, around age 4 because we used to have a daily 'gym' class where we laid down on the floor and did this stretching exercise and the teacher would tell us to visualise holding the ceiling up with our hands, and the commentary was all about how the ceiling weighted on our hands and we were holding it up, reaching as far as we could. While laying down i could see how cracked the ceiling was, and then the "conditioning trigger" was, a very bad storm that one day ripped the ceiling off and i saw the inwards of it spewed all over the gym hall. To me it was devastating and i somehow had connected the exercise of holding the ceiling up to thinking that it would no longer be safe to be under a cracked ceiling anymore.

Obviously as I got older i outgrew that thing, and it stopped. But still at the time i guess it only made sense to me and shows the power of how these things can take hold in a young mind.

Edited by bLu3 de 3n3rgy
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I think it would be interesting to know if there is a period of time in child development where the mind is specifically prone to this and the imagination techniques that are taught to children.

I think it's quite clear that there must be. Just from this thread alone these things seen to be quite common amount kids.

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Yeah I never tried to outrun a car, I mean other than the fact that its impossible it just never crossed my mind to race a car

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The one that took me a while to shake off was something I got walking across floors or paving with patterns of different colored tiles. Say, if my left foot hit a black square, I had to then find another black square for my right foot to step on or they would feel "uneven." It was as though I could physically "feel" the color through the sole of my shoe, and hated when one foot felt different...though even at the time, as a child, I knew it wasn't true, because if I was distracted and didn't pay attention to where I was walking, my feet didn't "feel" any different no matter what color they stepped on. It was only after I noticed the colors that my feet would "feel uneven" unless I kept things "balanced."

I did this for years. Sometimes I still do it, though I can usually distract myself by redirecting my thoughts now. But what bothered me most was the compulsiveness of it...even though I knew it was nothing objective, and even years after I got tired of playing any such "game," I felt very unsettled when my feet were "unbalanced."

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I used to do similar things and even still do.. There are too many weird games I play to even list.

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From my blog a recent event on this subject

by this time we had caught up with my son and we were at the park.

The ground is littered with maple leaves, and then all of a sudden he shouts out "Don't step on the leaves...they are poisonous." Both he and my son dart off toward the play structure. Again I am floored. I have been having a discussion right here on UM about my experiences with games like this and how dangerous they can be. Read about it here: http://www.unexplain...howtopic=255624

After I shake of my amazement, I shoot after them saying WAIT.

Lets change the game. if you do step on a leaf you get smarter and stronger like a super hero... but you don't have to either, and boys in the future lets no make games about fear or death. Lets make them about life and love....Ok. Pointing at my little British friend, I say

remembered what I said about projecting bad things. Lets start practicing now.

Ok..... They dart off stepping on the leaves instead of avoiding them.

I'm left shaking my head in dismay hoping I did not doom one of them to a life time of OCD stepping on leaves. Uggggggg Every word, every step, every act affects the children in your presence profoundly. The responsibility is beyond immense.

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