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LostSouls7

Lost my faith in romantic. love..but am happy

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When I was young and even in my early 20s I was very depressed. After reading a lot about the mind and just understanding my own soul it was because I longed for romantic love or to find a pure true soul mate love.

I used to stay up very late reading online about soul mates trying to find answers and get drunk.

Well after some years I simply lost faith in love well romantic love for certain.

The reason for this is I don't really see much real romantic love in the world.

As I have remained pure and STD free. I look at myself as superior to people who sleep around and have STD unwanted children or pay child support. Once I just lost faith in romantic love and focused on myself things changed in my life. Before I made no money and was not productive. Now I am not only productive but make money that I want and am chasing my dreams.

Scarface once said with the right woman I can go straight to the top. The thing is you can go to the top without the right woman. Yet I feel good and iN "love" with life , the universe, my own magical energy, with art, with nature. That is what is true and real to me. People often ask me when they see me out in public happy and in positive vibes.. if I am in love or drunk.. i tell them yes in love with life and nature... But romantic love does not exist to me..and I couldn't be happier about it.

You see as a young person I thought not having romantic love limited me from doing what I wanted in life... but it was only a limiting belief... must like I used to think.. being a slave to the church.. was serving God...

sorry... to some people this will sound arrogant.. or evil...

but I only serve MYSELF... and I am Self Empowerd... i don't serve the desires of agenda.. of any woman..

church or organization.... thank you! :)

I AM FREE.. and happy.. and no stars and the universe ... is the limit to what I can do in life..

and accomplish... oh yesss !

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Awesome :) I know how you feel there. Working on the mind and soul is truly an amazing experience.

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Romantic love is also known as oxytocin.

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the simple truth about soul mated pares is this , they can not find you if you look like every one else .

if you are true to your greater soul greatness , you will be unique and not among the standards of civil life.

the great problem with that is... women as a generalization care a great deal about being "normal"

being liked counts to a women far more than men can grasp or can even understand .

for women ... numbers count , they would rather be liked in a shallow and superficial way by 100,oo people..

than have a crew identity with your team mates for 30 years... where your out casts and shunned.. but in that crew , your understood and fit in.

the real key to a soul pared mate is not the man... but the women who can first see the greatness of her mate...

and then not frighten him away by being too excited at finding him .

one of lifes greatest illusions is that men want a aggressive women putting the moves on them.

this could not be farther from the truth . frankly speaking, men are far more romantic than women , and far easier to scare when a women makes it clear she wants his intrest .

this is not true with soul mate pares.

soul mates have three great problems to over come... the first is to find their other half .

frankly speaking... this is the one single greatest factor that limits the number of soul mated pares .

and why they are so rare.

very often , the women will feel time acutely , and give up before she even looks, and settle on some one who "will do" .

very often the man will listen to others about his greatness being to hard , to strange , or far to uncommon ... and he will find the first trade craft he can ... and try to fit in... in effect making it imposable for the women to recognise him as her soul mate .

less common among soul mates is scaring each other because "you come on to strongly " ... if (s)he is your soul mate , no matter what you do , (s)he will see you ... (s)he has soul mate maddness , and its like soul radar ... if your with in 100 miles , (s)he will find a way to get in your way .

just because you screw it up... stop struggling.. back up and let things calm down.... if (s)he is really your soul mate, your both going to run back togather again .

warning: if your just really stupid over the girl , and she thinks your a toad... get over it ... move on and for god sake get some distance between you and the girl . a soul mated pare is not something you are not sure about . both of you will be sure , if she thinks your a toad and a crazy person... its likly you need to get over this... and you need to move on .

if she is a soul mated pare , other girls near her will very much want to get in her way .

guys are not so much like this , but if your the guy , your girl may seem a bit dangerious, even violent tword

other girls that you have no intrest in ... but these other girls may even be making sleezy low pass at you.

why this is true is a mystery... but it is not simply common place , but it is more rare when it does not happen .

....try to be understanding....

all soul mated pares are unique , nothing is given .

but they are all pretty much the same ... they make the other person whole .

nearly every one who has a successful marrage thinks that they have a soul mated pare.

this is actualy not the case.

soul mates are like two animals caught in to small a cage , they feel lost when they sleep and are not touching the other . they get angry and will fight in a fur ball where you see only a fuzzy blur... then calm like nothing happened.

your never invited into their inner world... even if your their children . one half completes the other half , not like two puzzel peices that look the same and fit toghaer...

more like paper and pen w/ ink .... a gun and bullets , key and a lock , intel and microsoft .

if you want to be happy , successful and complete... be your self and your soul mate will appear.

if you want to be calm , rich and in control of your life ... avoid your soul mate.

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i do need to add... i am seeking to find her.

and i to have given up .

i will make a few thosands of dollors , get stupid... , bleed and nearly die... and then give up again.

unless your a person who needs your soul pare... you do not understand...

for the genius , the artist , and the madman... it makes complete sense

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I too no longer believe in 'romantic love' and like yourse

When I was young and even in my early 20s I was very depressed. After reading a lot about the mind and just understanding my own soul it was because I longed for romantic love or to find a pure true soul mate love.

I used to stay up very late reading online about soul mates trying to find answers and get drunk.

Well after some years I simply lost faith in love well romantic love for certain.

The reason for this is I don't really see much real romantic love in the world.

As I have remained pure and STD free. I look at myself as superior to people who sleep around and have STD unwanted children or pay child support. Once I just lost faith in romantic love and focused on myself things changed in my life. Before I made no money and was not productive. Now I am not only productive but make money that I want and am chasing my dreams.

Scarface once said with the right woman I can go straight to the top. The thing is you can go to the top without the right woman. Yet I feel good and iN "love" with life , the universe, my own magical energy, with art, with nature. That is what is true and real to me. People often ask me when they see me out in public happy and in positive vibes.. if I am in love or drunk.. i tell them yes in love with life and nature... But romantic love does not exist to me..and I couldn't be happier about it.

You see as a young person I thought not having romantic love limited me from doing what I wanted in life... but it was only a limiting belief... must like I used to think.. being a slave to the church.. was serving God...

sorry... to some people this will sound arrogant.. or evil...

but I only serve MYSELF... and I am Self Empowerd... i don't serve the desires of agenda.. of any woman..

church or organization.... thank you! :)

I AM FREE.. and happy.. and no stars and the universe ... is the limit to what I can do in life..

and accomplish... oh yesss !

I too no longer believe in 'romantic love' and like yourself I use to naively believe that it was possible but after observing what I have seen around me throughout my entire life any notion such as 'romantic love' is false and should be completely discarded as the lie it is. I think it's about time people acknowledge that attraction between males and females is based on chemical reactions and hormones which during the exhilaration of youth is mainly lust and later on relationships are formed on the basis of convenience and mutual self interest and 'romantic love' in it's true sense doesn't exist and probably never did. Of course sentimentalists will always insist true love exists but all I see is relationships based on primitive attraction foremost and then social and economic compatibility.

If true love did exist then the homeless man with nothing would have a partner and not the good looking affluent yuppie. It's time we all got realistic about 'romantic love'.

Edited by aimlesswalk
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Well, as much as I risk being seen as 'jaded', I have to agree that there's no such thing as romantic love per say. Now, there are most certainly people who do love one another, but this type of love derives from more than simply lust or mutual convenience. Perhaps these people started out being physically attracted and/or economically compatible and then over time love for one another developed? I'm rather unsure about how the love that endures comes into being. Perhaps it's just luck that some find enduring love, but I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of us do not.

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Well, as much as I risk being seen as 'jaded', I have to agree that there's no such thing as romantic love per say. Now, there are most certainly people who do love one another, but this type of love derives from more than simply lust or mutual convenience. Perhaps these people started out being physically attracted and/or economically compatible and then over time love for one another developed? I'm rather unsure about how the love that endures comes into being. Perhaps it's just luck that some find enduring love, but I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of us do not.

I wouldn't say it's being 'jaded' at all just truthful and I often find it interesting that the people who say romantic love exists are probably in relationships themselves so caught up in the exhilaration of thinking they are in 'love' so have the luxury to take an idealistic view about this matter without seeing it in a clear light. I do think people in relationships care about one another (as often it is in their self interest and also expected of them) but after the initial excitement of lust has subsided most relationships are probably based on mutual convenience and even self preservation.

Also the fact that social and economic compatibility determines the vast majority of relationships in my view invalidates any starry eyed notion of 'romantic love'.

Edited by aimlesswalk

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All I can think of is this:

"Did you ever go back and find him the man with the lion tattoo? [No.] Unreal, do you know how selfish that is? Because you didn't just ruin your life, you ruined his." Once upon A Time-

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I'm not sure what romantic love is supposed to be -- I think the notion comes down to the West from tales of knights and damsels in distress, but no woman I know would ever be a damsel, at least not without a good fight. Of course that requires there be no dragons involved.

Everyone seems to agree romance and sex are different things, but still the good romances seem to end with babies.

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Romantic love definitely exists. It's a shame that you have written it off.

But also it is good that you have become self sufficient.

You should stay open to the possibility though...

Everyone seems to agree romance and sex are different things, but still the good romances seem to end with babies.

Yes romance and sex are different by definition.

But you can have highly erotic romantic sex too. Most people need different kinds of sex at different times, sometimes to use their lovers for the purpose of a quick orgasm, other times for slow and teasing foreplay, other times for deep slow and passionate sex etc. Either way, both sexes can want all of this and more at different times.

Like with most things, there is no rule of thumb.

But it is sad when someone writes something off like romantic love because of past experience.

And babies often result from people who are ready to have a child and stop using contraception, or people who are careless and don't use it. You can still have amazing romance with contraception...

Edit: Autocorrect typos.

Edited by Timonthy

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Edited because:

Re-read my post. Decided it wasn't relevant.

Edited by simplybill

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My point is that really good romances end in marriages and assuming different sexes this means babies. (In fact even with same sex marriages there is usually a desire to adopt or something).

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Love is a choice. It is not a feeling. You choose to love someone. It's not some magic fluffy feeling. That is our good ole hormones and bonding nuro transmitters.

When two people choose to love each other they can live empowered lives. But the OP is right. One must choose to live and be empowered within themselves first and formost before they can choose to love another otherwise they are seeking from the other which is not love.

After loveing Somone for a while they become part of you. It's not about pleasing each other it's about a unified existence with another. A greater and more effective whole to raise children and stand against the storms of the world.

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Well, as much as I risk being seen as 'jaded', I have to agree that there's no such thing as romantic love per say. Now, there are most certainly people who do love one another, but this type of love derives from more than simply lust or mutual convenience. Perhaps these people started out being physically attracted and/or economically compatible and then over time love for one another developed? I'm rather unsure about how the love that endures comes into being. Perhaps it's just luck that some find enduring love, but I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of us do not.

Lily, I think what is omitted from the 'fairy tale' is that love has to be nurtured and it is in that it grows/blossoms, uniquely to the couple involved. What is romantic to one may not be to another. My idea of romance is not getting flowers or throwing gifts at me, I think it is a waste of good money; I find it is romantic to help me with the laundry without me having to ask; I find it romantic to spend time with me, laugh at my stupid jokes as if they are hysterical. In my relationship we have taken the time to get to know each other and base our reactions/wants on who we each are as opposed to some idealized generic version of romance. My husband thinks it is romantic to have a hot meal every day, to match his socks up. We both happen to be similar in some great aspects ( I think that was luck)we are both sexually open minded, we both are active types who can't sit around. And,the ways we are different have helped us each grown in areas we are not so strong. I am very social, hubby is not-- over time I have learned to temper my friendly self and vice versa. I was not as structured as hubby who is very structured and I have learned to be organized because of his example.etc. etc. I love, love, love my husband more today then I did when I met (even with all the hormones racing. LOL ) I admire him and respect him profoundly. It is not magic either it is 110 percent effort and the investment in nurturing our union that makes this work for us. We both are committed to what makes the other happy,( it really matters) and are willing to work for that no matter what it takes, even if it means getting out of our own way/changing our view on things. I will say I am one of those that has an amazing marriage after 18 years, but it takes work not unlike having amazing kids they are this way because of the effort and time invested. I do say there can be fairy tales but not without effort and commitment.

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When I was young and even in my early 20s I was very depressed. After reading a lot about the mind and just understanding my own soul it was because I longed for romantic love or to find a pure true soul mate love.

I used to stay up very late reading online about soul mates trying to find answers and get drunk.

Well after some years I simply lost faith in love well romantic love for certain.

The reason for this is I don't really see much real romantic love in the world.

As I have remained pure and STD free. I look at myself as superior to people who sleep around and have STD unwanted children or pay child support. Once I just lost faith in romantic love and focused on myself things changed in my life. Before I made no money and was not productive. Now I am not only productive but make money that I want and am chasing my dreams.

Scarface once said with the right woman I can go straight to the top. The thing is you can go to the top without the right woman. Yet I feel good and iN "love" with life , the universe, my own magical energy, with art, with nature. That is what is true and real to me. People often ask me when they see me out in public happy and in positive vibes.. if I am in love or drunk.. i tell them yes in love with life and nature... But romantic love does not exist to me..and I couldn't be happier about it.

You see as a young person I thought not having romantic love limited me from doing what I wanted in life... but it was only a limiting belief... must like I used to think.. being a slave to the church.. was serving God...

sorry... to some people this will sound arrogant.. or evil...

but I only serve MYSELF... and I am Self Empowerd... i don't serve the desires of agenda.. of any woman..

church or organization.... thank you! :)

I AM FREE.. and happy.. and no stars and the universe ... is the limit to what I can do in life..

and accomplish... oh yesss !

Well good for you! :) also good for the women who don't need you to reach the top! It works out for everyone!

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Love is a choice. It is not a feeling. You choose to love someone. It's not some magic fluffy feeling. That is our good ole hormones and bonding nuro transmitters.

When two people choose to love each other they can live empowered lives. But the OP is right. One must choose to live and be empowered within themselves first and formost before they can choose to love another otherwise they are seeking from the other which is not love.

After loveing Somone for a while they become part of you. It's not about pleasing each other it's about a unified existence with another. A greater and more effective whole to raise children and stand against the storms of the world.

After loveing Somone for a while they do become a part of you.I guess that says it best in most of your staying in long marriages. Its a choice, I know it was in mine almost fifty years now .Its reminds of that song in( Fiddler on the Roof)my hubby keeps asking me do you love me? and I say after all these years of bearing your childen , feeding your face and washing your shorts, you asked me if i love you!, if thats not love what is?,

Edited by docyabut2
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After loveing Somone for a while they do become a part of you.I guess that says it best in most of your staying in long marriages. Its a choice, I know it was in mine almost fifty years now .Its reminds of that song in( Fiddler on the Roof)my hubby keeps asking me do you love me? and I say after all these years of bearing your childen , feeding your face and washing your shorts, you asked me if i love you!, if thats not love what is?,

Indeed. Well said. The only way marriages pass the test of time happily is by choices to love one another. Marriage is about giving yourself while maintaining your own needs self sufficiently. When I see people act like the op.... Some might say the person is jaded... I see a person ready to get married.

Two people that are emotionally self sufficient willing to choose to love and give life giving experiences to the other is a powerful force and an awesome family environment.

Edited by White Crane Feather

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When I was young and even in my early 20s I was very depressed. After reading a lot about the mind and just understanding my own soul it was because I longed for romantic love or to find a pure true soul mate love.

I used to stay up very late reading online about soul mates trying to find answers and get drunk.

Well after some years I simply lost faith in love well romantic love for certain.

The reason for this is I don't really see much real romantic love in the world.

As I have remained pure and STD free. I look at myself as superior to people who sleep around and have STD unwanted children or pay child support. Once I just lost faith in romantic love and focused on myself things changed in my life. Before I made no money and was not productive. Now I am not only productive but make money that I want and am chasing my dreams.

Scarface once said with the right woman I can go straight to the top. The thing is you can go to the top without the right woman. Yet I feel good and iN "love" with life , the universe, my own magical energy, with art, with nature. That is what is true and real to me. People often ask me when they see me out in public happy and in positive vibes.. if I am in love or drunk.. i tell them yes in love with life and nature... But romantic love does not exist to me..and I couldn't be happier about it.

You see as a young person I thought not having romantic love limited me from doing what I wanted in life... but it was only a limiting belief... must like I used to think.. being a slave to the church.. was serving God...

sorry... to some people this will sound arrogant.. or evil...

but I only serve MYSELF... and I am Self Empowerd... i don't serve the desires of agenda.. of any woman..

church or organization.... thank you! :)

I AM FREE.. and happy.. and no stars and the universe ... is the limit to what I can do in life..

and accomplish... oh yesss !

the simple truth about soul mated pares is this , they can not find you if you look like every one else .

if you are true to your greater soul greatness , you will be unique and not among the standards of civil life.

the great problem with that is... women as a generalization care a great deal about being "normal"

being liked counts to a women far more than men can grasp or can even understand .

for women ... numbers count , they would rather be liked in a shallow and superficial way by 100,oo people..

than have a crew identity with your team mates for 30 years... where your out casts and shunned.. but in that crew , your understood and fit in.

the real key to a soul pared mate is not the man... but the women who can first see the greatness of her mate...

and then not frighten him away by being too excited at finding him .

one of lifes greatest illusions is that men want a aggressive women putting the moves on them.

this could not be farther from the truth . frankly speaking, men are far more romantic than women , and far easier to scare when a women makes it clear she wants his intrest .

this is not true with soul mate pares.

soul mates have three great problems to over come... the first is to find their other half .

frankly speaking... this is the one single greatest factor that limits the number of soul mated pares .

and why they are so rare.

very often , the women will feel time acutely , and give up before she even looks, and settle on some one who "will do" .

very often the man will listen to others about his greatness being to hard , to strange , or far to uncommon ... and he will find the first trade craft he can ... and try to fit in... in effect making it imposable for the women to recognise him as her soul mate .

less common among soul mates is scaring each other because "you come on to strongly " ... if (s)he is your soul mate , no matter what you do , (s)he will see you ... (s)he has soul mate maddness , and its like soul radar ... if your with in 100 miles , (s)he will find a way to get in your way .

just because you screw it up... stop struggling.. back up and let things calm down.... if (s)he is really your soul mate, your both going to run back togather again .

warning: if your just really stupid over the girl , and she thinks your a toad... get over it ... move on and for god sake get some distance between you and the girl . a soul mated pare is not something you are not sure about . both of you will be sure , if she thinks your a toad and a crazy person... its likly you need to get over this... and you need to move on .

if she is a soul mated pare , other girls near her will very much want to get in her way .

guys are not so much like this , but if your the guy , your girl may seem a bit dangerious, even violent tword

other girls that you have no intrest in ... but these other girls may even be making sleezy low pass at you.

why this is true is a mystery... but it is not simply common place , but it is more rare when it does not happen .

....try to be understanding....

all soul mated pares are unique , nothing is given .

but they are all pretty much the same ... they make the other person whole .

nearly every one who has a successful marrage thinks that they have a soul mated pare.

this is actualy not the case.

soul mates are like two animals caught in to small a cage , they feel lost when they sleep and are not touching the other . they get angry and will fight in a fur ball where you see only a fuzzy blur... then calm like nothing happened.

your never invited into their inner world... even if your their children . one half completes the other half , not like two puzzel peices that look the same and fit toghaer...

more like paper and pen w/ ink .... a gun and bullets , key and a lock , intel and microsoft .

if you want to be happy , successful and complete... be your self and your soul mate will appear.

if you want to be calm , rich and in control of your life ... avoid your soul mate.

I like the way you both think & expressed your insights.Was interesting to read. I'm not sure but is it possible that we have lots of soul mates ? Have you ever heard of twin flames ? I understand the meaning of Soul mates more so than I feel or understand the meaning of twin flames .

If past lives are so, wouldn't it be possible to have many soul mates?

Edited by Reann

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I believe in romantic love, but I believe it is temporary and, of course, chemical driven, just like all our emotions, right? I also think it's quite fine to live without it and love yourself or whatever. Anyone who thinks 'love' is violins and rosebuds forever and ever is, in my opinion, extremely juvenile and naive.

It is a choice and it's a habit and a practice. It's how you live I think.

I really liked the OP. I'm working on being that in love with the universe and life right now. To live joyfully for myself I guess you'd say. I don't intend to seek out romantic love again in my life, but I do know I've had it before.

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