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SereneScene

What is wrong with me?

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Im fed up! Literally! I cant relate to anyone my age, its sad, depressing, frustrating, why I have I always been that loner type? The one who perfers to be by himself rather than with people because he can never relate to them? Am I going to be like this my whole life?

Why me? Why cant I just be like everyone else? Trust me I have tried but the worst part is everyone notices, they see that I am not like they are, why? Cause I am weird? Overly quiet? Full of myself?

I simply do not know what to do anymore...

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I can help. :yes:

From one Lone Wolf to another...but you gotta be more specific about relating. How are you different from 'them'?

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Well, if you're a teenager or a young adult all this will most likely change with time. If you're older then perhaps you should seek counseling to see why you feel so alienated from others.

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Maybe you shouldn't try to relate, but instead you should understand. I'm willing to bet good money that you're the one that's hard to "relate" to. This doesn't mean you should conform. Just be a little more compassionate to those that are hard to relate to. After all, the world would be awfully boring if we could all relate to each other. Just food for thought.

Edited due to the realization that I came across as a douche.

Edited by DumpsterJesus
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DJ here makes a very good point with the statement. maybe your the one who is hard to relate too.

Remember that every human interaction is a two way street, if you cant relate to them then they probably also have a problem relating to you. So you need to reach out and understand them for them to understand you.

Im 19 idk how old you are but there was a time I felt how you feel. Over time you will realize that everyone is really not so different. Idk the specifics but a little conformity really doesn't hurt. I don't mean you have to compromise who you are I just mean that maybe you could go along and hangout with what some of these people you cant "relate" to are doing and you might realize that you could like the same things or at least begin to understand them better.

you will find that we all feel the same.

That my two cents anyways

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Its very hard to explain , I am 24 and I cant relate to the people I am around, lets say for instance the people at my job, the majority are 19-24, I should be at home right? NOT! The ones who I find myself actually having interesting conversations and relating to are the older people, why?? Its like I cant have a mature intellectual conversation with anyone but them, the younger people act foolish and can hardly ever act serious, its like every day I am still at high school around these people, question is why am I different?

Why do I find enjoyment in intellectual conversations, I dont talk about what they talk about, I hardly have the same interests, I dont listen to the same music, its like wtf, what makes me different??

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Im fed up! Literally! I cant relate to anyone my age, its sad, depressing, frustrating, why I have I always been that loner type? The one who perfers to be by himself rather than with people because he can never relate to them? Am I going to be like this my whole life?

Why me? Why cant I just be like everyone else? Trust me I have tried but the worst part is everyone notices, they see that I am not like they are, why? Cause I am weird? Overly quiet? Full of myself?

I simply do not know what to do anymore...

The best thing that a person can do is to Be Yourself. First of all..You are not...Can not...and...why would you want to be...like Everyone Else. Look, SereneScene...there are basically two types of people in this world...Sheep...and Wolves. You are a wolf. That doesn't mean you eat the sheep. It just means that you take the road less traveled...which is a good thing. What makes you different is that you are more mature than your 'same age' colleagues. Don't worry about it. They are all going to make the same sheep mistakes. You won't. Trust me. And...most importantly...Trust Yourself!

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Its very hard to explain , I am 24 and I cant relate to the people I am around, lets say for instance the people at my job, the majority are 19-24, I should be at home right? NOT! The ones who I find myself actually having interesting conversations and relating to are the older people, why?? Its like I cant have a mature intellectual conversation with anyone but them, the younger people act foolish and can hardly ever act serious, its like every day I am still at high school around these people, question is why am I different?

Why do I find enjoyment in intellectual conversations, I dont talk about what they talk about, I hardly have the same interests, I dont listen to the same music, its like wtf, what makes me different??

It's like the old saying goes, "different strokes for different folks".

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Im fed up! Literally! I cant relate to anyone my age, its sad, depressing, frustrating, why I have I always been that loner type? The one who perfers to be by himself rather than with people because he can never relate to them? Am I going to be like this my whole life?

Why me? Why cant I just be like everyone else? Trust me I have tried but the worst part is everyone notices, they see that I am not like they are, why? Cause I am weird? Overly quiet? Full of myself?

I simply do not know what to do anymore...

No one here can relate to your exact situation except you. So, with that being said, for what it's worth...

When I was your age (don't you like hearing that one?) I preferred being alone or in the company of adults and older people, over people my age. The few close friends I had took a lot of time, energy and maintenance and in some ways I resented them for it. In fact, when I was 17 one of my nicknames was 'Dad'.

I have a hard time believing however that there is no one your age that you can't find to connect with, on some level. (Unless you're being home schooled or live in a tiny community, that doesn't help.)

And no, I sincerely doubt that you're going to be 'like this' for the rest of your life. I'm 50 and I'm probably on v.4 now. Now I can relate to people of all ages.

From my experience, it just takes time. (Yeah, I know that that's a cliché. They're called cliché's because they're true.)

In the meantime, best wishes. :)

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Its very hard to explain , I am 24 and I cant relate to the people I am around, lets say for instance the people at my job, the majority are 19-24, I should be at home right? NOT! The ones who I find myself actually having interesting conversations and relating to are the older people, why?? Its like I cant have a mature intellectual conversation with anyone but them, the younger people act foolish and can hardly ever act serious, its like every day I am still at high school around these people, question is why am I different?

Why do I find enjoyment in intellectual conversations, I dont talk about what they talk about, I hardly have the same interests, I dont listen to the same music, its like wtf, what makes me different??

Well heck. You're not that different, there are lots of people your age like you. Go and find them.

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Been there myself, and have lived everyday in your situation. Like others have posted, it's not bad to not relate or fit in with the status quo. If it wasn't for people like such the world would be an awfully drab place. I would say embrace your unique self, reach out to others instead of waiting for them to come to you.

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There is nothing wrong with being a loner, the key is being content within yourself. If you find people a little older are more interesting there is a good reason for that...they are! They've experienced more and have better stories to tell. :D The average age of the people I hang around with are ten years older than I, including my husband, and some 20 or even 30 years older. Hell, some of them have grandkids about my age and I get along great with them too. They'll tell me things they would never tell their parents, looking for advice from someone "older" that won't judge them.

The main thing is finding people you click with and you can't force that...you just need to let it happen.

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The best thing that a person can do is to Be Yourself. First of all..You are not...Can not...and...why would you want to be...like Everyone Else. Look, SereneScene...there are basically two types of people in this world...Sheep...and Wolves. You are a wolf. That doesn't mean you eat the sheep. It just means that you take the road less traveled...which is a good thing. What makes you different is that you are more mature than your 'same age' colleagues. Don't worry about it. They are all going to make the same sheep mistakes. You won't. Trust me. And...most importantly...Trust Yourself!

I actually had this conversation with an older colleague today, I asked him these questions and he said that I am more introspective, more mature, that the enviorment did not fit me, that a college would fit me over what I am doing now.

Its just weird, in a sense I wish I could be like them and just let go but then again I know that I have more knowledge than them somehow, I hope that does not make me sound stuck up because I am not in the least but I just see things in a very different way, a "mature" way from my point of view.

I guess like you say I am a lone wolf.

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Its very hard to explain , I am 24 and I cant relate to the people I am around, lets say for instance the people at my job, the majority are 19-24, I should be at home right? NOT! The ones who I find myself actually having interesting conversations and relating to are the older people, why?? Its like I cant have a mature intellectual conversation with anyone but them, the younger people act foolish and can hardly ever act serious, its like every day I am still at high school around these people, question is why am I different?

Why do I find enjoyment in intellectual conversations, I dont talk about what they talk about, I hardly have the same interests, I dont listen to the same music, its like wtf, what makes me different??

Yeah to this I would say act like an idiot while you can lol. Honestly I'm not in my thirties yet but saddled with too much responsibility. I wouldn't mind regressing to post High school and acting like a foolish kid.

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Now I do have flaws in my character I wont deny that, if someone were to make a comment about me in a subtle jav kind of way It will bother me a lot, sometimes I can brush it off but sometimes i cant and it bothers me all day, what can I say? I am sensitive, I try not to show it but its there.

So yes does being sensitive contribute to me being down at times? Sure I admit it, no ones perfect.

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Maybe you are a bit of an introvert or you are bored with people.

introverts are usually writers and artists thinkers.

I am not sure why you feel like that. I usually only hang out with writers, artists, magicians etc.

People who are interesting with a lot of imagination. I can't be with boring people I get very bored.

My friends are few but interesting...

Just find people with like interests and you will be OK and have lots of fun.

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I actually had this conversation with an older colleague today, I asked him these questions and he said that I am more introspective, more mature, that the enviorment did not fit me, that a college would fit me over what I am doing now.

Its just weird, in a sense I wish I could be like them and just let go but then again I know that I have more knowledge than them somehow, I hope that does not make me sound stuck up because I am not in the least but I just see things in a very different way, a "mature" way from my point of view.

I guess like you say I am a lone wolf.

Being a lone wolf is a good thing SS. Likely Guy said something profound (amazing I know, but true...jk)

You're not that different, there are lots of people your age like you. Go and find them.

I'll PM you with a book you should buy and read. It's an old book...but by the end of the first chapter...you'll know where you are headed....and the good news is...you have a head start. You are approaching the age where you will begin the Rest of Your Life. You need to know things that those people you are talking about that you can't relate to could never, ever tell you or help you know. When you get to a certain point up the mountain...you just have to take the rest of the trek yourself...planning your own path...those guys are lost. You follow them, you come down to their level and you'll become lost as well.

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So yes does being sensitive contribute to me being down at times?

Absolutely. I'm the same way, and it has been in the past few years (28-30) that I've just started to figure out most of the problems I'd been having socially were due to my being over sensitive. I still am far from not being sensitive socially and in general, but have begun to realize when I am being, and ease up as much as I can.

I think that what you are viewing as being more intellectual and serious compared to what feels to you like less intelligent and immature company is just covering how you feel uncomfortable around your peers (for the usual reasons) and aren't able to freely 'free chat' as people do. This is just my uneducated guess based on my own experience socially and the way you've been talking here.

Don't take it as an insult, but I want to be real with you and not sugar coat something here. Social maturity is just that, a form of maturity, and pushing away others because you are seeing them as less mature than you won't help things, as you might end up realizing later down the road that they were the more mature in the scenario.

These are things you'll pick up and be able to work on yourself in your own way as you go on through these 20's. Just don't do what I did and give up trying.

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Absolutely. I'm the same way, and it has been in the past few years (28-30) that I've just started to figure out most of the problems I'd been having socially were due to my being over sensitive. I still am far from not being sensitive socially and in general, but have begun to realize when I am being, and ease up as much as I can.

I think that what you are viewing as being more intellectual and serious compared to what feels to you like less intelligent and immature company is just covering how you feel uncomfortable around your peers (for the usual reasons) and aren't able to freely 'free chat' as people do. This is just my uneducated guess based on my own experience socially and the way you've been talking here.

Don't take it as an insult, but I want to be real with you and not sugar coat something here. Social maturity is just that, a form of maturity, and pushing away others because you are seeing them as less mature than you won't help things, as you might end up realizing later down the road that they were the more mature in the scenario.

These are things you'll pick up and be able to work on yourself in your own way as you go on through these 20's. Just don't do what I did and give up trying.

That is a very good point, perhaps people arent the problem but the issue lies within myself, I cant really figure out what the issue is though...

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That is a very good point, perhaps people arent the problem but the issue lies within myself, I cant really figure out what the issue is though...

We all have issues. You said it yourself though, "No one's perfect." Just as there is no perfect, there is no 'normal' - so, there is nothing 'wrong' with you.

You're different, embrace that (Joc does). :)

Serene Scene, you have lots of time to tinker with yourself. Just be thankful that you're young enough and mature enough. Some people never do, and that's a bad thing.

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We all have issues. You said it yourself though, "No one's perfect." Just as there is no perfect, there is no 'normal' - so, there is nothing 'wrong' with you.

There for sure isn't!!! :tu:

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Hey there,

That is a very good point, perhaps people arent the problem but the issue lies within myself, I cant really figure out what the issue is though...

I can't really speak for you, but I'm kind of a fully realized introvert now, for 95% of my life so far, I tried to fit in with the others, couldn't do it, and when I had success in fitting in, I realized I don't really enjoy it and longed to be alone. It's not that I hate people, not that I think I'm smarter than everyone else. It's just the way I am. No, I don't think I'm 'special' or 'weird', I could care less. People who understand me, respect my needs, that's all I ask.

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Im fed up! Literally! I cant relate to anyone my age, its sad, depressing, frustrating, why I have I always been that loner type? The one who perfers to be by himself rather than with people because he can never relate to them? Am I going to be like this my whole life?

Why me? Why cant I just be like everyone else? Trust me I have tried but the worst part is everyone notices, they see that I am not like they are, why? Cause I am weird? Overly quiet? Full of myself?

I simply do not know what to do anymore...

You think thats bad? I once went to my Doctor, and said.. "Doc, no-one seems to like me", and do you know what he said? he yelled "Get out of my office you irritating little b@sterd".

I even called the Samaritans one night in desperation. But they hung up on me after a minute....

Edited by seeder
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I know how you feel, been where you are for quite a while.

I know I am an introvert, but I'm not scared or not social enough to have friends, I just don't talk much, and I am actually bad at friends. I like to wander around alone a lot, just doing my own thing. Plus I can't open up for the life of me.. But I have friends. The only problem is that if I am not treated with the same respect I show others, I just leave. It doesn't hurt me to drop a friend just like that.

Hmm.. Maybe like mentioned above somewhere, you need to be less sensitive, loosen up. I don't think it's you that is the problem, but maybe just your interests. I find that I seem quite mature for my age, and really can't stand too much immaturity for long periods of time (although I do have my moments of crazy). Just wait for people like you to find you. You'll click with someone eventually. The wolves all eventually find each other right? Even if we are lone wolves, theres nothing wrong with just walking by eachother every now and then and assuring eachother that you're not the only lone wolves :P

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Its very hard to explain , I am 24 and I cant relate to the people I am around, lets say for instance the people at my job, the majority are 19-24, I should be at home right? NOT! The ones who I find myself actually having interesting conversations and relating to are the older people, why?? Its like I cant have a mature intellectual conversation with anyone but them, the younger people act foolish and can hardly ever act serious, its like every day I am still at high school around these people, question is why am I different?

Why do I find enjoyment in intellectual conversations, I dont talk about what they talk about, I hardly have the same interests, I dont listen to the same music, its like wtf, what makes me different??

When you look at your thumb print, you have to stop and realise, there is only one print in the world like that, YOURS! Youre totally individual and unique. Just like everyone else :lol:

Not fitting in is often a good thing. Ive never fitted in for a whole host of reasons, but at age 47 now its not really an issue. But it sure used to be. Im still a loner, and prefer that way of life. It still rubs sometimes - if I dont get an invite from so called friends for a night out, am I being rejected? or maybe Im being left alone because that's the impression 'I' sometimes give off? :tu:

For me I ended up in boxing for a few years. Its a solitary sport a lot of the time believe it or not, running down the tracks by myself, eating a certain way, pumping weights, hitting bags. Try choosing that way of life if youre a social butterfly, and the two dont really mix. You need to find the things that 'suit you' in life, and not try forcing your round pegs in square holes

Nowadays Im not so active, but I always liked table tennis/ping pong. The friends and acquaintances I have, dont think much of ping pong, and laugh if I say lets go play. And they never do. And it got me down that something I wanted to do with my friends, wasn't interesting enough for them. I dont do golf. But they do..

But there was/is a ping-pong club not far away, so I went, alone as usual, and there I met someone else, who was also alone, needing a playing partner. So we played. He was as bad as me so we had a lot of laughs... and without even realising it, a friendship was forming, just because of ping pong, a shared interest

It wasnt a great deal of time till we both played others at the club, and we slowly got better. I for sure met many like minded people down that club, and I still go, still have a few games, many laughs, and beers after, with an entirely different set of friends that I would never have met, unless i decided to DO WHAT I WANTED TO DO, without my few regular friends...

Often, its as simple as finding the 'right' kind of friends, who DO share your interests. besides you're still quite young, and your life has many paths you can go down, but remember, if you always do, what you've always done, you will always get, what you've always got

So try something new! For me, it was as simple as ping pong

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