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soulseeker

DID What do you know about it?

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I have been diagnosed with DID. I have been in therapy for 8 years. What do you know about DID? I believe it is the most misunderstood mental illness. Feel free to ask me questions too I want to bring awareness to my illness.

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Hi, my question is how did you know you had DID? How long ago was that? Equals the therapy time or was it before you understood there is something? Thanks :-)

Edited by thyra
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my first question is what is D.I.D? first thing that came up on Google was dissociative identity disorder. I just want to make sure im thinking of the right thing. before I ask any questions

Edited by spartan max2
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Yeah I don't know what it is either

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it used to be referred to as multiple personality disorder and it is very rare.

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it used to be referred to as multiple personality disorder and it is very rare.

I wonder why they changed the name?

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so do you have other personas and characters you act like ?

Edited by LostSouls7
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I wonder why they changed the name?

prob the same reason we now call manic depressives bi polar. it sounds less negative. those who used to be termed retarded are now considered challenged, etc
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prob the same reason we now call manic depressives bi polar. it sounds less negative. those who used to be termed retarded are now considered challenged, etc

But what's wrong with multiple personality nothing sounds negative about that name

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But what's wrong with multiple personality nothing sounds negative about that name

perhaps it doesn't properly define what is now known about the illness. i'm not sure because i don't know a whole lot about what symptoms or challenges it presents.

i was merely comparing it to other mental issues that have been renamed over the years.

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Hi, my question is how did you know you had DID? How long ago was that? Equals the therapy time or was it before you understood there is something? Thanks :-)

I pretty much self diagnosed myself to my therapist about 5 years ago. My drive for knowledge of myself enabled me to do that and she (my therapist) agreed and told me she knew I would figure it out eventually during my self studies. So I have had 3 years of misdiagnosis including schizophrenia and been on just about every pill and 5 years of pill free and 5 years of DID therapy.

The first and most prominent symptom was feeling as If I was outside my own body but unable to stop myself from doing whatever it was I was doing (usually something violent) like watching a movie. The second symptom I suffered was brought to my attention by my family who told me that I had too many opinions on the same topic and that sometimes I acted not like myself. Another symptom I noticed before diagnosis was that I would just suddenly feel nothing and I just didn't notice the world around me.

I started trying harder to identify my illness after my first traumatic dissociative episode. Long story shot after I woke up in a tub full of bloody water with both my legs needing multiple stiches and not remembering any of it....my last memory was crying myself to sleep.

Since my diagnosis I have come to understand that the emptiness the unrealness of the world is called dissociation (for me this is the warning that another personality is trying to break through) and that DID can arise from untreated PTSD and how I could control and learn about my other (parts) personalities. As of now I have identified 12 personalities including my core personality.

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my first question is what is D.I.D? first thing that came up on Google was dissociative identity disorder. I just want to make sure im thinking of the right thing. before I ask any questions

yes that is correct

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I wonder why they changed the name?

I believe they changed it because of the stigmata attached to the illness after movies like jeckyl and hyde....turning sufferers into monsters. The truth is all of us have parts that's why you can be the party girl on weekends and the mom/worker bee when necessary. The difference with DID sufferers is that our parts are broken usually (as with me) caused by those parts taking on multiple traumatic events to protect the (core personality) so people with DID (simply stated) have broken uncontrollable parts.

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so do you have other personas and characters you act like ?

More like I have different personality that take over my conscious mind (become me) when they deem themselves necessary. Most of the time this is not too big of a deal but I have a particularly violent part which requires sedation to keep from taking over.

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You talked about PTSD. Was that the trigger of DID for you? Are you comfortable with talking about such traumas if this is the case?

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You talked about PTSD. Was that the trigger of DID for you? Are you comfortable with talking about such traumas if this is the case?

My biggest trigger is being hurt not just by anyone but by those I love and it can be something as simple as my hubby not liking what I cook. The part that this triggers feels strongly that she is protecting me, unfortunately she is the same part that likes to remind me of all the pain I've suffered.

It is hard for me to talk about without all my parts chiming in but here's the jist of it....

Ages Birth to 11 :::all types of abuse neglect physical emotional and sexual done by my mother step father and their druggy alcholic friends.

Ages 11-16 :::adopted by my grandparents. grandpa is a bit of a sexist so I was not allowed to go anywhere or do anything outside the house. So basically imprisoned but at least not neglected or abused.

Ages:::16-23::::got with my husband these years were the only good years I've experienced so far in my short 32 years. Had my 1st child at 19 and became pregnant with my 2nd at 22.

Ages 22-23::: Husband found a new love interest and although they never did anything I had to deal with everyone in my life telling me that it looked more like they were together than we were. When I questioned my hubby during this time I got nothing but lies.

Age 24:::: My husbands godfather drugged and tried to rape me...my husband and his family (whom I was living with) called me a worthless b**** asked if I was trying to ruin peoples lives my husband told me to get out of his life. They bullied me by telling me what a great guy this man was and what a b**** I was for trying to hurt HIM!!! Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I dropped the charges. Later I found out that it wasn't the 1st time this man had been accused of rape and my hubbys family already knew that.

Age 25:::: The girl from ages 22-23 came back into the picture ....she set me on fire...she says accidentally but I don't think so. While I was fighting for my life in the local burn unit he and his sister went out to lunch with this girl (same day she set me on fire) when I got out of the hospital I was told that I was not to tell anyone that the preachers daughter burned me....the story I was to agree with was that I had left the stove on. It took me 6 months to be able to walk again and I now have one leg that is 60% skin graft.

Ages 26 to present:::: I am still with my hubby (stupid I know) and his family still treats me like trash including trying to blackmail my husband by stating that if he didn't commit me then my family wasn't allowed at his sisters wedding. When they took that back I was expected to be kind and sweet and present at the wedding. Then after his parents attacked me again calling me a **** and a whore in front of my children. Scared my 12 year old so badly she p***ed herself and yes my husband expects both me and my daughter (who has come to see them for who they are) to forgive them again. Which I have not and do not plan to ever.

So in summary it is my life as a whole that caused my multiple episodes of PTSD to turn into DID.....and I have read enough to know that leaving my hubby is the first step to healing I cannot bring myself to do so. I believe one or more of my parts has a bit of an obsession with him. I struggle to be only one person a day and most days I fail. The one thing I am thankful for is that ALL of my parts are extremely protective of my daughters. Some people worse off than me have parts that hate those they love.

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That sounds real difficult and my heart goes out to you. You sound very wise and calm despite all you have been through.

Are you working with the same therapist for 8 years? I think you two are doing great job. I dnt know what I would became if I had so much traumas.

Edited by thyra

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That sounds real difficult and my heart goes out to you. You sound very wise and calm despite all you have been through.

Are you working with the same therapist for 8 years? I think you two are doing great job. I dnt know what I would became if I had so much traumas.

Thank you very much. Sometimes it can be quite hard to hold myself together. yes I have been with the same therapist all 8 years she is very patient with me and always understanding.

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WOW Iv had a pretty hard life to, grew up with a disease, only when I turned 20 was I able to get rid of it. My dad wasn't in the picture, I was pretty much raised by my mom and my grandma and aunts.. Iv been to so many funerals, I mine as well rent out a room in a funeral home. One of my uncles got shot right in front of his daughter, One of my uncles that I was most close to got put in prison and hes never coming home. I learned at an early age to put my mind in a different place. I'm good now though, have a girlfriend named Helena and moved away from all of those things that plagued me. I have demons metaphorically speaking and sometimes they try and creep out, but for the most part I'm doing good. But if I had gone through all the stuff that you have, I know what would have happened. I would have been broken down by all of it and become a killer, or been have to put into an institution and constantly on medication. Your strong for going through all that and I applaud you....

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WOW Iv had a pretty hard life to, grew up with a disease, only when I turned 20 was I able to get rid of it. My dad wasn't in the picture, I was pretty much raised by my mom and my grandma and aunts.. Iv been to so many funerals, I mine as well rent out a room in a funeral home. One of my uncles got shot right in front of his daughter, One of my uncles that I was most close to got put in prison and hes never coming home. I learned at an early age to put my mind in a different place. I'm good now though, have a girlfriend named Helena and moved away from all of those things that plagued me. I have demons metaphorically speaking and sometimes they try and creep out, but for the most part I'm doing good. But if I had gone through all the stuff that you have, I know what would have happened. I would have been broken down by all of it and become a killer, or been have to put into an institution and constantly on medication. Your strong for going through all that and I applaud you....

Thank you and I am sorry for your suffering as well. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me but I take it day by day and keep pushing forward.

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Soulseeker, its people like you that should be role models, not these fonies on TV. Pushing forward no matter whats thrown at you. You seem to have a heart of gold, and a very mature mind.

I have nothing but the upmost respect for you. And you are now one of those people that will forever give me strength to just keep going.

Please keep at it, better yourself. I wish you all the best.

Regards,

Me, :)

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Thank you and I am sorry for your suffering as well. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me but I take it day by day and keep pushing forward.

When I was younger my anger basically controlled me, that emotion was far deeper and more powerful for me than any other emotions. I have calmed down though now but I get really bad insomnia for where I don't sleep for weeks, and I just become like a zombie. Id say that happens a few times but it seems like a lot to me. My grandfather and my uncle also have bouts of insomnia, but nowhere near the degree that Do.

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DID stands for Disassociative Identity Disorder. it was formally called "multiple personality disorder". It is listed under the category of "Disassociative Disorders" in the DSM 5 along with closely related orders under the same category such as: disassociative amnesia, disassociative fugue, depersonaliaton/derealization, and other specified and unspecified disorders. Disassociative disorders are marked by major changes in memory that do not have clear physical causes. Someone with DID often develops two or more distinct personalities called subpersonalities. There always happens to be a primary or host personality which is present more of the time in comparison to the subspersonalities. These subs are often different in terms of age, gender and race.

Some subspersonalities may be aware of each other but it's not always mutual so either they can have no knowledge of the other personalities or only have knowledge of some. Interestingly, it is possible for subs to know how to do things that the other personalities do not. State-dependent learning is a cognitive explanation as to why some subspersonalities have skills and knowledge that others may not. State-dependent learning means that if you learn something in one physiological state (excited, depressed, even drunk), you will recall the information learned in that state much more accurately if you are in that same state again. subspersonalities can learn to do things when present but the other personalities, including the host, may not be able to access the knowledge required to do what the other personality learned. In a famous case study of a woman with DID, she claimed that some of her personalities knew how to drive while she, the host, did not.

Case studies on people with DID have often seen that different subspersonalities have different physiological responses and norms such as blood pressure, allergies and differences in the autonomic nervous system. When these tests were compared to research participants who were asked to pretend to have another personality and to really emerse themselves in the process, physiological activity remained constant and was not marked by significant changes such as with those in case studies.

This just scratches the surface of DID.

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I don't know anything about it personally. I only have ideas.

The first thing that grabs at me is the need for identity or personality to be "singular" at its roots. When I say that I mean that identity is generated bottom up. Think of a tree with its roots branching up. Only one of these can be active at a time. When faced with tremendous psychological trauma it doesn't seem beyond reason that the brain develops different personality to better deal with these things. I think sentience only comes about in the branches though so subconsciously you still have the same roots.

As this is a condition that takes many years to develop I doubt there is an easy solution. However I imagine it starts with developing the ability to accept and to let go (to truly let go) of the negativity that caused onset. Letting go involves at-least two things I imagine, 1. Physically removing the cause. 2. Habitually removing the cause. (It is instinctive to keep doing what you're doing due to habit even when there is no stimulus)

Some level of closure would come about from sharing though. I think there's a difference between externally generated psychological disorders and internally generated disorders. Something like this I think is externally generated.

I don't know, I think the most difficult think people in general have to get over is habit. We all have an intuitive grasp of better or worse yet we'll still continue doing what is habitual to us.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

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Posted (edited)

it used to be referred to as multiple personality disorder and it is very rare.

It isn't that rare. I have come across a handful of people with it. But then I am a nurse, and sometimes worked those halls. But out in the real world too, I know of three or four.

I was going to ask the initial poster if his/her parents were in the military or in a satanic cult?

I see, this DID start in childhood.

If it were me, I would leave the spouse. If there is any drinking at all involved in the situation, whether it is your spouse or your spouse's family, if it were me, I would hit the door so fast, children in tow.

I think removing the cause of the personality multiples would help a lot.

Or hold on until the children are older and then leave. Find a way to be away from the extended family whenever possible.

Which personality deals with your current situation best?

Whatever you do, empowering yourself would matter greatly.

BTW. I lived thru experiencing child abuse. I learned to leave the body when it was being hit and kicked. Now I found it a glorious strength to partition parts of myself off, but I don't think I have created a different personality. I remember during the stillbirth, while tears ran from my eyes, I knew I couldn't react to it all until I was alone, out of the hospital. Then I cried off and on for three months. Didn't really recover from it for a year. The Dr. gave me drugs to ease the personal turmoil. But, not taking them, I knew that it was necessary to work thru it all on the emotional level, drug-less. B ut then I had a lot of college classes on personality development and psychology, which made me willing to accept the ugly on the way to healing. And I was 40 years old at that time too.

My heart is so with you. IM me anytime you need to. But I am not on all that much.

Edited by regeneratia

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