Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 3
keninsc

Gigantopithecus body found in Alberta.

27 posts in this topic

link: http://www.sagenews....cle.asp?id=3007

Alberta: Bow Valley flooding exposes rotting carcass of a Sasquatch.

Legendary Cryptid believed to be a surviving Gigantopithecus

The recent mass flooding in southern Alberta has exposed a rotting corpse of what is believed to be the legendary Sasquatch. Cryptozoologists worldwide are lining up to examine the remains, which were located by a hiker along the Bow River, northwest of Canmore, Alberta.

Eminent Paleontologist Wally Johnson has conducted a preliminary site examination of the remains, and has discovered that the carcass appears to be ancient.

Now, I have to wonder why this didn't get more press time? I'd have to say this is a significant find.

Edited by Saru
Trimmed for length

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now, I have to wonder why this didn't get more press time? I'd have to say this is a significant find.

Maybe due to the disclaimer following the article:

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This got even my cold skeptic's heart racing. A gigantopithecus in Alberta? Surely this is too good to be true! Then I got to the disclaimer. I thought satire was supposed to be funny, not soul-crushing.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, turns out it's a hoax. The Sage is one of those rags that prints anything given to it so long as it's sensational.

Oh well. The good news is I still have a chance to nail one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This got even my cold skeptic's heart racing. A gigantopithecus in Alberta? Surely this is too good to be true! Then I got to the disclaimer. I thought satire was supposed to be funny, not soul-crushing.

Don't feel bad, it got me all wet and sticky too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was interested mainly because no "bigfoot-tologists" were involved.

I was breathless for a moment too. :w00t:

It was like Christmas for bigfoot enthusiasts. :santa: And then the glimmer of Hope was dashed to the rocks... :devil:

Edited by DieChecker

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I read 'Gigantopithecus body found in Alberta', I was thinking fossilized remains and I was rolling my eyes thinking 'this is gonna give the bigfoot people more cannon fodder', but reading the article and everyone's responses, it's a bit funny. Too bad China didn't pick up on it like the 'Kim Jong Un hottest man alive' hoax.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

kinensc you tease.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is entirely bad form and should not be condoned.

QC saw how false your OP was in 5 minutes. Do you have a reason for doing that?

Edited by Likely Guy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder what the picture is of....

Looks like maybe a long dead goat??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is entirely bad form and should not be condoned.

QC saw how false your OP was in 5 minutes. Do you have a reason for doing that?

I'm high on cold medicine right now.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, damn. I just chuckled near off my chair on that.

Meh, I'm high on a bit of rum right now. Jacques can commiserate.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cryptozoologist Coren Lowman.

LOL, great name.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Come on, it's at the top of the page:

"The only Faux News Source you can Trust".

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Epic Fail lol jk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder what the picture is of....

Looks like maybe a long dead goat??

Or deer?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Sage is one of those rags that prints anything given to it so long as it's sensational.

Are you guys serious?

After two sentences, you all should have said "wait a minute... what kind of a news source is this?"

And then you should have looked up to see the part about "faux news."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you guys serious?

After two sentences, you all should have said "wait a minute... what kind of a news source is this?"

And then you should have looked up to see the part about "faux news."

All of who? The only person that took it seriously was the OP....but he figured it out shortly thereafter. He was just excited about it and wanted to post it here. Don't squash the poor guy's enthusiasm.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, we all make mistakes and I'm all stoned from cold medicine. No telling what I'm libel post up in this state.

Oddly, after looking at the picture more closely I thought it looked more like a sloth. But sloth are not indigenous to Alberta, so it must be something else or a picture that was pulled off the web at some point.

Edited by keninsc
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sloths aren't indigenous to Canada currently but some species of ground sloths had ranges that extended there. Also we have to consider Canadian Underground Sloth Smugglers of C.U.S.S. for short.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh God, I didn't know about them at all. Are they in league with the Bigfoot Body Recovery Teams?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cryptozoologist Coren Lowman.

LOL, great name.

LOL! I hadn't noticed that! :nw:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Or deer?

Maybe, but somehow it doesn't say "deer" to me. The muzzle appears to short to me. But then they could easily have messed with the photo...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the whole point of the picture is to be "specifically ambiguous" enough to make you see what you want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah, Kevin, you tease! My clicking finger feels betrayed.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 3

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.