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Curious_one

Nice people come last

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Being a teenage girl in high school was complete hell. Getting into the business world is also complete hell. I think professionalism is over rated. It turns people into numbers takes the human aspect out of the job.

So tell me, why is it, that people who have lots of friends don't smile and say hi. Their not always nice. Sometimes ruthless people.

Then the nice people who smile, maybe arnt always confident but their humble, will do anything for u they will take the shirt off their back for u no matter what and they won't judge u, those are the people that general society take for granted...

Why is it that we spend so much time judging each other, worrying what others thinking about us and worrying about ourselves that we forget to love each other?

Out of curiousity, I played life's little game. I wiped the smile off my face. I acted like nothing fased me. Acted like I didn't care. Then...that's when I became one of the most popular girls in school. I carried on this act for quite some time. Then I forgot who I was. Until I noticed a smiley young girl following me around. And she reminded me of who I used to be. Now I am changed. The old me again.

Now that I'm in university, I'm noticing the business world is kina pushing me into this personality again. Having a wall up. Professionalism, never admit your flaws, never let anyone know. If people know your flaws you get a slap on the wrist. Not saying by everyone I'm a well respected person where I am placed but recently got a slap on the wrist by telling an employer I was feeling warn down and had anxiety. This started a war in the workplace pretty much. People took my side on things but more took hers. Why have we forgotten that we are human?

So tell me. Why? Why are we so quick to judge people on one mistake? Or the clothes we wear? Or the food we eat? Or where we live or where we work?

I have more respect for the people with nothing at this point. They know how to have faith in something greater than frivolous things like that. They pry themselves from technology long enough to connect with something more than them and they are real.

I don't fit in here. Never will. And I'm not going to give in again. I just hope that I can get through what's to come cause I'm gonna have to fight my point every time I get a slap on the wrist for taking a stand. Free country? Freedom of speech? Doesnt feel like it.

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You shouldn't worry about the world around us. Just try to be happy with what you got, you don't need other's approval.

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I've noticed that too, and to be honest, I don't really care. I'll go about life as I please. I don't care if I have a pack of followers, or if I have the nicest clothes, I'll be who I want. I'll be kind, I'll stay humble, I'll continue on to be friendly, be happy, and be a human. I don't know why the world has become so impersonal. Why people don't care, and why people support the ones who don't care. I really think that love and kindness could fix the world, but we've grown so far from it, that people keep following other solutions that just get us stuck deeper in the rut.

The world would be so incredibly different if everyone was who they actually were.

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I just dont care what people do or say, I ignore it

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Look at peoples eyes, if they like you the pupils will enlarge, if they don't like you their pupils will be pinpoints.You can tell if people like you by their body reactions,folded arms means keep your distance and so on. Get yourself a book on human behaviour,Desmond Morris or Morrison is a good author who has written books on human behaviour, look,listen and observe and you will soon become aware of who is genuine or not,I hope this helps you.cheers.

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Not saying by everyone I'm a well respected person where I am placed but recently got a slap on the wrist by telling an employer I was feeling warn down and had anxiety.

Was this your boss ? go to their boss or HR... There is always someone higher you can go to and should. Don't be intimidated by what is really their own fears being projected on to everything...People can be extremely crappy and yes disconnected from their true self's. This is what you are noticing and feeling because, if one is disconnected then it is all ego that is in control which can be very ugly.

I hate the saying that nice people come last though, if only nice people knew their true power by being who they really are - the problem with nice people is, we are too passive most of the time and don't advocate together enough. Ever noticed that ? Nice people are too passive to a fault, preferring to sit and watch another take the blows rather than stand up and support. Which is bad enough a fault as the ego centric fault of using and abusing and then discarding. Both need to learn that the middle ground is where true power and respect is.

So be a leader for the nice people around you and activate them into action, for them to experience a truly nice leader will amend them into never being sheep again. One way to cope with it and retain some sense of your own true identity and empowerment, is to look at those disconnected people like little children who have yet to evolve their spiritual true self. Because it is exactly how they appear to higher sentient beings and being the more evolved one means you side step them assertively and do not let them lower you to their level.

Edited by bLu3 de 3n3rgy
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Was this your boss ? go to their boss or HR... There is always someone higher you can go to and should. Don't be intimidated by what is really their own fears being projected on to everything...People can be extremely crappy and yes disconnected from their true self's. This is what you are noticing and feeling because, if one is disconnected then it is all ego that is in control which can be very ugly.

I hate the saying that nice people come last though, if only nice people knew their true power by being who they really are - the problem with nice people is, we are too passive most of the time and don't advocate together enough. Ever noticed that ? Nice people are too passive to a fault, preferring to sit and watch another take the blows rather than stand up and support. Which is bad enough a fault as the ego centric fault of using and abusing and then discarding. Both need to learn that the middle ground is where true power and respect is.

So be a leader for the nice people around you and activate them into action, for them to experience a truly nice leader will amend them into never being sheep again. One way to cope with it and retain some sense of your own true identity and empowerment, is to look at those disconnected people like little children who have yet to evolve their spiritual true self. Because it is exactly how they appear to higher sentient beings and being the more evolved one means you side step them assertively and do not let them lower you to their level.

I dont agree with your comment on nice people being passive and sitting watching others taking the blame,nice people help out if your in trouble and ask no reward, like the guy who saved a baby who fell into a dock,he jumped in while others were watching,dragged the baby out then disappeared into the crowd wanting no thanks or t.v. apppearance,now thats a NICE GUY.
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‘What is success? It is being able to go bed each night with your soul at Peace.’ Paulo Coelho

Nice people come last at being nasty, nasty people come last at being nice. I know which one I prefer to be. There is wave of nastiness, rapacious greed and selfishness sweeping across the planet it is challenging time for kind/caring people. Be true to yourself and do not listen to them.

‘The planet does not need more successful people . The planet desperately needs more Peace makers, Healers, Restorers, Story tellers and Lovers of all kinds.’ Chinese quote.

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I dont agree with your comment on nice people being passive and sitting watching others taking the blame,nice people help out if your in trouble and ask no reward, like the guy who saved a baby who fell into a dock,he jumped in while others were watching,dragged the baby out then disappeared into the crowd wanting no thanks or t.v. apppearance,now thats a NICE GUY.

I understand and i agree with your version as well. But i was specifically talking about why nice people have this reputation at coming last all the time and in relation tot he business professional world which is very cut throat... I was just saying i do not agree that nice people coming last is always true. Some just struggle ot find their voice without becoming the monster they see their peers as sometimes.

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It's not so much that 'nice people come last', it's more that nice people simply aren't in that kind of competition to begin with. It's also possible to be nice and still be assertive and powerful. Live and let live...live and help live. In the final analysis you will be far happier than any of the nasty folks. And being happy is really what it's all about.

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*snip

Why is it that we spend so much time judging each other, worrying what others thinking about us and worrying about ourselves that we forget to love each other?

So tell me. Why? Why are we so quick to judge people on one mistake? Or the clothes we wear? Or the food we eat? Or where we live or where we work?

*snip

People are superficial and judgemental because society is superficial and judgemental. We are surrounded by images and propaganda about being thin and beautiful, having the newest iPhone, etc. There's too much value placed on superficial things...and when that happens, people lose themseves to what's really important. We have a hard time as a race seeing the bigger picture. We see our planet, our countries, and we forget we are just a speck of dust in the soup. When your perspective is lost, sometimes love is elusive.

My only other thoughts would be to stop caring what other people think/say about you. Let them judge you. It only affects you if you let it. And if your boss is not accepting of your issues with work, or willing to help you, it may be time to find another job.

Nice people don't finsh last; they finish honorably. Just because someone finishes first, doesn't mean they made it there with honor or grace. I'd rather be last, than be bankrupt of decency.

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It's hard for me, but I've learned to quote that famous line from Gone with the Wind to people who're quick to judge me. It took me a while, but I get tougher with age.

From my experience, some people around you make you want to 'get rid' or regret whatever's good about you because they don't have it in them, they'll tell you it's a weakness, but you tell them it's what being a human being is about.

reason for edit : spelling

Edited by John Mirra

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It's not so much that 'nice people come last', it's more that nice people simply aren't in that kind of competition to begin with. It's also possible to be nice and still be assertive and powerful. Live and let live...live and help live. In the final analysis you will be far happier than any of the nasty folks. And being happy is really what it's all about.

True.

I wish I had that quality.

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It's hard for me, but I've learned to quote that famous line from Gone with the Wind to people who're quick to judge me. It took me a while, but I get tougher with age.

From my experience, some people around you make you want to 'get rid' or regret whatever's good about you because they don't have it in them, they'll tell you it's a weakness, but you tell them it's what being a human being is about.

reason for edit : spelling

I think i was trying to touch on this. I had a teacher at school who on my last day pulled me aside and told me word to word that i was too nice for my own good and that it would be my downfall in life if i didn't do something about it. It was said with a tone of concern. I have never forgotten these words as they burned into me deeply for i had no perception of me being viewed this way. The teacher maybe thought i was likely to be taken advantage of or used but, i had no idea i came across this way or that people even thought this way.

Now obviously as i have matured i understand what the advice meant. I unfortunately have had experiences where things have happened and no one stood up for me, but could have. Or i can think of many examples of people showing their support to me in private but not in full face where it matters. All nice people.... Ah you get used to it and learn that people have their own confidence issues because they were perhaps bullied and haven't found their voice. I have stood up for many and I have spoken out when it needs to be said and sometimes i wish more people would just be a bit more like that, band together more.

That is what i meant by many nice people sometimes being passive to a fault. They do see what it is going on and no they don't always speak up. Once you have had that happened to you a few times you would understand.

Edited by bLu3 de 3n3rgy
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I think i was trying to touch on this. I had a teacher at school who on my last day pulled me aside and told me word to word that i was too nice for my own good and that it would be my downfall in life if i didn't do something about it. It was said with a tone of concern. I have never forgotten these words as they burned into me deeply for i had no perception of me being viewed this way. The teacher maybe thought i was likely to be taken advantage of or used but, i had no idea i came across this way or that people even thought this way.

Now obviously as i have matured i understand what the advice meant. I unfortunately have had experiences where things have happened and no one stood up for me, but could have. Or i can think of many examples of people showing their support to me in private but not in full face where it matters. All nice people.... Ah you get used to it and learn that people have their own confidence issues because they were perhaps bullied and haven't found their voice. I have stood up for many and i have gone after and confronted bullies when i have seen them attack others. I have spoken out when it needs to be said and often stood alone while doing so. But thanked behind the scenes.

That is what i meant by many nice people sometimes being passive to a fault. They do see what it is going on and no they don't always speak up. Once you have had that happened to you a few times you would understand.

Similar things were said to me, a good friend of mine tells me often 'you don't know the difference between true friends and friends who wan't to take advantage of you', well, how you can you tell? maybe what he said was wise.

I've stood up for others sometimes, I have also watched on without doing a thing (I admit it). But I can tell you, when I've tried to do something I think is good, I've had the 'oh look, he's trying to cause a scene/grabbing attention' reaction more than a few times.

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It's not so much that 'nice people come last', it's more that nice people simply aren't in that kind of competition to begin with.

This. Nice people (not the pushover wimpy dishrag ones) are usually content, and content people don't feel the need to push past everyone else socially or in business to scramble to the top. Finish last? They have no horse in the race and that's the way they like it.

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It's not so much that 'nice people come last', it's more that nice people simply aren't in that kind of competition to begin with.

Bingo! This is what I was going to say. If the only reason you are being 'nice' is to get 'first' somewhere, then it isn't really sincere, just a means to get to an end.

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Just to add, being 'nice' doesn't mean one has to be 'walked over' by those who aren't so nice. Being nice is more of a life philosophy, but nice folks aren't required to be abused or take a bunch of nonsense from others either. Also, being nice not something one does just to 'get stuff' from others.

To quote the movie "Road House", "Be nice until it's time to not be nice".

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Being a teenage girl in high school was complete hell. Getting into the business world is also complete hell. I think professionalism is over rated. It turns people into numbers takes the human aspect out of the job.

So tell me, why is it, that people who have lots of friends don't smile and say hi. Their not always nice. Sometimes ruthless people.

Then the nice people who smile, maybe arnt always confident but their humble, will do anything for u they will take the shirt off their back for u no matter what and they won't judge u, those are the people that general society take for granted...

Why is it that we spend so much time judging each other, worrying what others thinking about us and worrying about ourselves that we forget to love each other?

Out of curiousity, I played life's little game. I wiped the smile off my face. I acted like nothing fased me. Acted like I didn't care. Then...that's when I became one of the most popular girls in school. I carried on this act for quite some time. Then I forgot who I was. Until I noticed a smiley young girl following me around. And she reminded me of who I used to be. Now I am changed. The old me again.

Now that I'm in university, I'm noticing the business world is kina pushing me into this personality again. Having a wall up. Professionalism, never admit your flaws, never let anyone know. If people know your flaws you get a slap on the wrist. Not saying by everyone I'm a well respected person where I am placed but recently got a slap on the wrist by telling an employer I was feeling warn down and had anxiety. This started a war in the workplace pretty much. People took my side on things but more took hers. Why have we forgotten that we are human?

So tell me. Why? Why are we so quick to judge people on one mistake? Or the clothes we wear? Or the food we eat? Or where we live or where we work?

I have more respect for the people with nothing at this point. They know how to have faith in something greater than frivolous things like that. They pry themselves from technology long enough to connect with something more than them and they are real.

I don't fit in here. Never will. And I'm not going to give in again. I just hope that I can get through what's to come cause I'm gonna have to fight my point every time I get a slap on the wrist for taking a stand. Free country? Freedom of speech? Doesnt feel like it.

Don't give in. Set the example.

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I don't think mean people get any more out of life than nice ones, nor are they any more successful. Maybe it seems so because they are more visible and command more attention, so while we're looking at them and thinking about them, we fail to notice those nice, good people who go about their lives more quietly. And as other posters have said, it's not a contest, it's a kind of philosophy that is driven by values different than those of mean people.

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We have crappy role models for our kids. We, as a society/culture...tend to be attracted to the newest, shiny things...be it an object or a person...so we follow along, starstruck and get way off track of where we should be going.

We find ourselves caught up in glamor and a whole handful of other, shallow and meaningless pursuits and because our eyes are misdirected, our sense of value and self worth is also misdirected.

Try not to lose yourself in the "here and now" and remember that "goodness" is always preferable to "badness"...

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Quote "Do not look at the faults of what others have done,

or not done.

Observe what you yourself have done,

or not done". (Buddha)

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It only appears on the surface that nice people finish last. In reality, we are just "running" a different race.

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Being a teenage girl in high school was complete hell. Getting into the business world is also complete hell. I think professionalism is over rated. It turns people into numbers takes the human aspect out of the job.

You definitely got the wrong idea about professionalism. It isn't a lifestyle. It's a uniform.

So tell me, why is it, that people who have lots of friends don't smile and say hi. Their not always nice. Sometimes ruthless people.

Then the nice people who smile, maybe arnt always confident but their humble, will do anything for u they will take the shirt off their back for u no matter what and they won't judge u, those are the people that general society take for granted...

You are confusing friendship with charm.

Why is it that we spend so much time judging each other, worrying what others thinking about us and worrying about ourselves that we forget to love each other?

Well, A.) because we are genetically programmed to be competitive, and B.) because love is overrated.

Out of curiousity, I played life's little game. I wiped the smile off my face. I acted like nothing fased me. Acted like I didn't care. Then...that's when I became one of the most popular girls in school. I carried on this act for quite some time. Then I forgot who I was. Until I noticed a smiley young girl following me around. And she reminded me of who I used to be. Now I am changed. The old me again.

Your primary error was mistaking indifference for focus.

Now that I'm in university, I'm noticing the business world is kina pushing me into this personality again. Having a wall up. Professionalism, never admit your flaws, never let anyone know. If people know your flaws you get a slap on the wrist. Not saying by everyone I'm a well respected person where I am placed but recently got a slap on the wrist by telling an employer I was feeling warn down and had anxiety. This started a war in the workplace pretty much. People took my side on things but more took hers. Why have we forgotten that we are human?

No, but the business arena, is a competitive environment. No one wants to be associated with those who admit significant weakness, such as stamina. There are ways to make such things work to your advantage, however.

So tell me. Why? Why are we so quick to judge people on one mistake? Or the clothes we wear? Or the food we eat? Or where we live or where we work?

Because business is little more than the modern version of combat.

I have more respect for the people with nothing at this point. They know how to have faith in something greater than frivolous things like that. They pry themselves from technology long enough to connect with something more than them and they are real.

It sounds more like you don't like playing the business game.

I don't fit in here. Never will. And I'm not going to give in again. I just hope that I can get through what's to come cause I'm gonna have to fight my point every time I get a slap on the wrist for taking a stand. Free country? Freedom of speech? Doesnt feel like it.

Welcome to the real world (a phrase I am certain you have heard before). Students and others with free time on their hands can complain about not being given even more freedom, but in the business world, social hierarchy rules. The one who is best at persuading and controlling the people around them rise to the top. If you refuse to engage in this behaviour (and by that I mean actually sturying and understanding it, not mimicking it as you have tried), then staying in business will just make you miserable.

If, on the other hand, you can become a player on the field, you will find that life is nowhere near as miserable as the one who warms the bench because they don't like the way the game is played.

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You run through life so fast that you don't realise that your friend is running beside you,until you fall down and they stop to help you.Thats why friends are nice people.

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