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The Id3al Experience

Is it really so hard to be kind?

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http://popculturecage.blogspot.co.uk/

When I read this ( i have no idea if its true), however it made me think about people that commit crime and the punishment direct to them.... We all have a choice, but some cannot see that... We must help even if we must sucifice...

Thoughts? Personal Experiences? Please share :)

Edited by Still Waters
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I have stories but I don't tell ppl, i feel like i am gloating.

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The guy might just as easily been killed for his efforts if the kid were on drugs. That said, I figure you have to live what you believe and forgiving those who do you wrong is the only way to change the world. The calculus changes for me when they are trying to hurt those I love, though. In that situation I cannot let it be.

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Very admirable, what this man did.

Could of gotten himself killed....but....

the world would be a different place if people cared about each other more. Everything is so generic and compartmentalized now-a-days....

That mentality as long as it is not happening to you, then who gives a ****?

It would be nice to see the thug mentality die and evaporate out of our culture.

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The guy might just as easily been killed for his efforts if the kid were on drugs. That said, I figure you have to live what you believe and forgiving those who do you wrong is the only way to change the world. The calculus changes for me when they are trying to hurt those I love, though. In that situation I cannot let it be.

Again we must find the underlying issue that is causing these people to do drugs and crime. I understand its a hard issue to tackle, but we as the people that let this be, and critize the people doing so are only making it happen because of our mentally towards it., thus shouldnt we be angry at ourselves too?

Its almost like, 'he doesnt care about us, Why should I him stiuation'. and funnily enough this is hypocritical thinking.

Me,

Kind Regards :)

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Very admirable, what this man did.

Could of gotten himself killed....but....

the world would be a different place if people cared about each other more. Everything is so generic and compartmentalized now-a-days....

That mentality as long as it is not happening to you, then who gives a ****?

It would be nice to see the thug mentality die and evaporate out of our culture.

I always get that reaction and thus we are only being considerated about ourselfs. Again as mentioned in another post, this is hypocritical thinking, as Im sure the ;thug; is just consdiering himself too.

Personally I have been in this situation. But I reacted Violantly - Hence why hindsight. I could have handled it better. Lucky I was not hurt, however I am trained in this area

Me, :)

Kind Regards

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http://popculturecage.blogspot.co.uk/

When I read this ( i have no idea if its true), however it made me think about people that commit crime and the punishment direct to them.... We all have a choice, but some cannot see that... We must help even if we must sucifice...

Thoughts? Personal Experiences? Please share :)

Nice story... I Believe it. When you are extended to those around you this is not some giant story. ;) these story's probably happen daily in many places. That's not to cheapen it. I struggle with people who miss this boat especially when it's me, but it exists and its the most enduring Human trait.

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This is heart warming story,

This is how iv always imagined I would act but iv never been mugged so idk.

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Nice fable but kindness means nothing if the recipient repays you with death.

Myself I prefer to stay alive and if the thug wants the stupid money then fine, take it and leave as soon as possible.

If a person is brazen enough to threaten me or anyone with a weapon in order to rob then why should one risk being murdered just to reward him, basically, for being a thug?

Personally I have been in this situation. But I reacted Violantly - Hence why hindsight........ Lucky I was not hurt, however I am trained in this area

You reacted as you should have. Why be a punching bag for someone else? This is basically what we are grooming our kids for these days, to be physical and verbal punching bags for the thugs and bullies because we have been, for years, exercising this brain shrunken idea that if we just smile sweetly and say nothing while we are being abused and assaulted that the bully/thug is suddenly going to come to some sort of revelation and think that you are just a swell guy for sitting there and letting yourself get abused just because you want to be "nice".

I personally don't care what their problem is and they have made it worse by resorting to armed robbery.

Again, if a thug is brazen enough to use a weapon to assault you...then either give in and give him your money or punch the jerk in the face. You didn't kill anyone and I fail to see how non-lethal defense is constantly being criminalized these days.

I don't mean to rant but I just cannot get with this rainbow-and -sunshine approach to violent crimes. I certainly do not want to see anyone get shot and killed either but rewarding violence won't make it go away.

We don't reward children who hurt other kids or animals or steal from others so why reward adults who engage in the same types of actions.

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So what I am reading is that the primary obstacle to kindness is fear. I see that alot, even in people who bully others or are unkind to them. Fear of being seen as weak, fear of being targetted so they use others to re-direct people's attention to, fear of being deemed a "loser" because they can't suck it up and dish it out when on display before a crowd.

Kindness really is hard - which is why it is so admired, it is an uncommon quality and even those who have it don't use it as much as they could.

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Kindness isn't hard as long as someone isn't shaking a knife/gun or fist in your face.

But as soon as one resorts to violence to get what they want, why should they expect to be showered in candies and hugs?

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To be able to show kindness is possible...

when one finds magic wisdom and inner peace...

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Nice fable but kindness means nothing if the recipient repays you with death.

Myself I prefer to stay alive and if the thug wants the stupid money then fine, take it and leave as soon as possible.

If a person is brazen enough to threaten me or anyone with a weapon in order to rob then why should one risk being murdered just to reward him, basically, for being a thug?

You reacted as you should have. Why be a punching bag for someone else? This is basically what we are grooming our kids for these days, to be physical and verbal punching bags for the thugs and bullies because we have been, for years, exercising this brain shrunken idea that if we just smile sweetly and say nothing while we are being abused and assaulted that the bully/thug is suddenly going to come to some sort of revelation and think that you are just a swell guy for sitting there and letting yourself get abused just because you want to be "nice".

I personally don't care what their problem is and they have made it worse by resorting to armed robbery.

Again, if a thug is brazen enough to use a weapon to assault you...then either give in and give him your money or punch the jerk in the face. You didn't kill anyone and I fail to see how non-lethal defense is constantly being criminalized these days.

I don't mean to rant but I just cannot get with this rainbow-and -sunshine approach to violent crimes. I certainly do not want to see anyone get shot and killed either but rewarding violence won't make it go away.

We don't reward children who hurt other kids or animals or steal from others so why reward adults who engage in the same types of actions.

I guess my main point to this is to not punish in a way that is simply punishment. We tend to chuck someone in jail and forget about them. ALL im saying is there needs to be more attention to why these people do this, and rehabilitate. It should not be looked at as punishment but as a lesson. Everybody has there reasons regardless of how absurd you personally feel.

I beleive I did not act correcty, because the person trying to rob me got seriously injuryed. At the time i felt good about it. However I know, I properly only angryed the kid more, and thus he will return to his ways.

Me :)

Kind Regards,

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I guess my main point to this is to not punish in a way that is simply punishment. We tend to chuck someone in jail and forget about them. ALL im saying is there needs to be more attention to why these people do this, and rehabilitate

While I agree on the rehab part I still care little about why a person felt the need to use a weapon just to snag a few bucks for drugs or whatever.

It should not be looked at as punishment but as a lesson. Everybody has there reasons regardless of how absurd you personally feel.

Their "reasons" for armed robbery/assault should not be used or even considered as any justification though.

I believe I did not act correctly, because the person trying to rob me got seriously injured.

So? He/she should be grateful that they are not dead. Would you have felt so "generous" if your child (assuming for the moment you have one) or spouse was in danger of being harmed or killed by this thug?

At least you all survived, someone else, like a cop, would've simply blown the thug away without bating an eye.

When you attack someone with a weapon it is folly to think that every victim is just going to whimper and roll into a ball like a beaten mongrel begging and asking for the thug to stop. At some point someone will fight back.

I properly only angered the kid more, and thus he will return to his ways.

I doubt that very much. He came across the only person who had the wontons to stand up for themselves and not take his garbage. Bullies and thugs keep doing what they are doing BECAUSE no one fights back and TELLS not asks them to knock it off. You don't ask your attacker to stop thereby giving him a choice whether or not to comply. You TELL them to back off or you will defend yourself.

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I've got to agree with Ryu. If someone approaches me with a weapon my survival instinct is going to kick into fight or flight mode. I'm not going to be in the least concerned why this person is doing what they are doing.

I do random acts of kindness every day, but I'm not going to risk my life trying to psychoanalyze someone who is a threat to me. Every situation is different and I would try and talk my way out of it if possible though.

Edited by Michelle
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It's true that kindness can disarm people.

I'm used to being started on by groups of people. It's probably the fact that I'm tall and in good shape so people think I'm up my self - I'm not.

I was waling through this rough estate one day and saw three guys approaching me. It was getting late and I knew that they would say something to antagonize me n some way, that's just how it is.

As I passed them, one of them opened his mouth to say something and at the same time, I immediately said 'How you doing?' as a casual greet.

Straight away, the guy stopped talking and his other friend said 'Come on, man, Leave it.'

I thought maybe I got lucky until I tried the same thing again in a similar situation and it worked. I think people from rough area's who have that stereotype behind them are used to people being weary of them and seeing them as a threat which entices them to act on it; so when someone acts un-intimidated by them and throws them a 'hello', maybe it disarms them because they feel they aren't being judged.

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It is for some people

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It's true that kindness can disarm people.

I thought maybe I got lucky until I tried the same thing again in a similar situation and it worked. I think people from rough area's who have that stereotype behind them are used to people being weary of them and seeing them as a threat which entices them to act on it; so when someone acts un-intimidated by them and throws them a 'hello', maybe it disarms them because they feel they aren't being judged.

So very true! :tu:

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I always thought that if people put as much effort in their heart as they do their appearance

there would be less war and crime.

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Posted (edited)

To often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring....all of which have the potential to turn life around.

~Leo Buscaglia.~

I have always loved those words :-*

Edited by Astra00
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That's quite a story. Mr. Diaz is a very rare person, and he might have turned that kid's life around, or changed its trajectory somehow.

Good story. :tu:

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I think people confuse kindness with being passive or a pushover a lot.

I can't imagine anyone would recommend running up and giving a guy waving a gun around a hug.

In this particular story, once the kid was walking away, he presented limited threat to the man, so the man was reasonably safe in reaching out and offering the coat.

Maybe instead of kindness this should focus on critical thinking skills, some street smarts and empathy.

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My experience around people has showed me that if you're too kind, people will exploit and take advantage of you.

So there is a time when you gotta be firm with those that have a tendency to take advantage or disrespect.

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My experience around people has showed me that if you're too kind, people will exploit and take advantage of you.

Or they will try.

Sometimes telling a person, "No" is the kindest thing you can do for them.

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Or they will try.

Sometimes telling a person, "No" is the kindest thing you can do for them.

They don't respond like you're being kind when telling them No.

The reality is most get mad but in time most get over it.

And a lot of times they won't exploit again when they realize

you're not a pushover.

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