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pisceanheart

Should I go through with it?

21 posts in this topic

A person who is heavily affiliated with a popular opportunist woman that I had a silent falling out with, wants me to help with an event that she is having in May. When it comes to an event in this particular field, my brand name is what is most known and I guess she wants to use that to gain more visitors and vendors. I tend to stay away from events like these because I know that her affiliate will be associated with it as well and I tend to avoid her at all cost.

However, I really do not want to go there, even though the woman has offered me free booth space. I just don't want to have anything to do with it.

Does anyone know if things will turn out fine?

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So long as it's a win-win I see no problem.

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Going from….. How you have written what you have to say about the women….No.

Don't do it.

You're obviously not happy about working with the women and have avoid working with her as much as you could in the past.

So, what's changed now?

Is she different now? Or are you?

No, if you don't have to, don't.

You see, if your attitude about her hasn't changed…. Then the outcome can only go as you anticipate it will go. So, not go well. Do you see?

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What will you lose if you don't help? What will you gain if you do help? If the answer isn't worth working with the woman in question, don't go.

You didn't give many specifics (probably a good idea), but can you set a limit? Like, "I'll help for half an hour (or whatever), but if I don't like it, I'm leaving"?

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Posted (edited)

Can you do your thing at the event without crossing paths with the affiliate you don't like ? Is there any reason why the affiliate would have to be on your 'grass' so to speak or you on theirs ?

If not then then i would think about going through with it, when i read your dilemma I am shown how i feel when i feel unsure about going to something and then when i go it does all turn out ok. I was shown that the scenario would turn out fine which is the crux of the matter. I was reminded that sometimes it is just your worries skewing your perception and need for everything to feel just right getting in the way. You are a very sensitive person and have a strong sense of feeling the things out as you do them, which is why it matters more that things feel in harmony for you. I understand this way of being very much and most people are not experiencing things this way, most people have a pretty thick skin and do not see things as acutely as what you would think. But the drawback of being this kind of empath is it can be over done to the point that you start becoming 'fussy' or protective about what you think you can tolerate and what you actually can tolerate.

It's easy to lose sight of remembering that we all need challenges and to do things from time to time that take us out of our comfort zone. Feelers can gain the most from doing things in small doses that build up tolerance to doing more as well.

If you are worried that the affiliate may try and get you into some agreement or event on the spot or put you on the spot, then a little preparation will go a long way. First you do not have to agree to anything on the spot, you can always say you need to take a rain check on such a date... you are not even required to get back to someone later either if you are know there is no way on hell you would do anything with them. These are all unnecessary pressures which you do not need to put yourself under.

Lastly if it is something that is going to be really stressful then i would listen to what blue star says - something in you has to change perception wise ( my feeling is it is something like needing to be prepared to being put on the spot ) or what you anticipate, is what is going to happen.

Edited by bLu3 de 3n3rgy
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What I think is that getting involved with something you are already [maybe intuitively] unhappy with isn't at all a good idea.

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If you have that bad of a feeling about it this early, I would listen to my instincts.

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Listen to your instincts. You are eager to accept a possible avenue to more business, but this doesn't necessarily mean that it will be worth the hassle. If you do proceed forward, you will likely be repeating a lesson you have yet to fully learn. Either way, it should work out in the long term, depending on how you handle this woman. Also, if you don't approve of her affiliates either, it's best to stand your ground and walk away even if you risk losing a little money. It will be less of an energy drain for you.

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Posted (edited)

UPDATE: After having blocked the said opportunist from my Facebook since 2010, I decided to be a bigger person and unblock her and everyone else from my Facebook in 2014. I also did it so that any past drama that we had would not reflect on her innocent affiliate's event.

Today, the woman who is having the event made a Facebook post that gave me an intuitive flash. She posted this:

"Wanna be a successful business owner? Work on that attitude... You're gonna deal with all kinds of people, not just those that make it easy for you."

When I read this, I instantly got an intuitive flash that told me that the woman that I am trying to avoid, made a fuss about me to her, even though I have not had words with this woman since 2010. So as a response, the woman posted this as a status in response to her attitude.

Then I realized something: The woman over the event tagged both her and me in a post announcement she made on Facebook, and the opportunist woman's name is blacked out.

To make a long story short, after I unblocked her this year (without saying anything to her) and she saw her affiliate mention me, she blocked me.

See what I mean? Now I'm really questioning whether or not I should attend. Her blocking me after not speaking to her for years is already giving me verification that I would probably feel out of place. I tried to avoid causing drama, but it looks like the environment is infected by letting her affiliate in on our past. I would not have gotten involved if her affiliate didn't ask, so it's not like I'm trying to take anything away.

I am really considering stepping down now.

Edited by pisceanheart

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Listen to your instincts. You are eager to accept a possible avenue to more business, but this doesn't necessarily mean that it will be worth the hassle. If you do proceed forward, you will likely be repeating a lesson you have yet to fully learn. Either way, it should work out in the long term, depending on how you handle this woman. Also, if you don't approve of her affiliates either, it's best to stand your ground and walk away even if you risk losing a little money. It will be less of an energy drain for you.

To tell you the truth, I really did not want to attend this event, even if I would have made money. I'm ruled by my feelings, so I would rather have a peace of mind over money. I only agreed to help because the woman over the event reminded me of myself when it came to her drive, she really needs the help, and because she seemed like a really positive person.

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Posted (edited)

To tell you the truth, I really did not want to attend this event, even if I would have made money. I'm ruled by my feelings, so I would rather have a peace of mind over money. I only agreed to help because the woman over the event reminded me of myself when it came to her drive, she really needs the help, and because she seemed like a really positive person.

Unfortunately most people are not ruled by their feelings which, like i said before is both a good and bad thing. On one hand you gain a unique perspective into other peoples true intentions while on the other hand you risk not pushing your self forward as much. Thick skinned, hard headed people have poor boundaries and are simply not viewing the world the same way as sensitive feeler type empaths, something feeler empaths repeatedly forget and keep getting hurt over. The thicker skinned see the world in black and white, right and wrong, good and evil, and are unable to cope with the shades in-between so everything is a very dualistic nature in their perspective. These types can step on others without a second thought and don't necessarily mean harm but it can come across that way. The feeler empath has to remember this all the times and consciously work on asserting themslevs so not to become locked up and distraught with stress / disempowerment. Speaking up and showing boundaries is the healthiest way to build up self empowerment and keep the throat, heart and solar plexus centres open and connected. Feeler empaths really suffer energetically when they feel too suppressed or stepped on.

Sounds like you have made you mind up about what to do, there is no point over extending yourself if it's going to make things more tense in return....Its extremely generous what you wish to do in supporting the person because of what you see in her. But that is also a classic trap of the feeler empath type, that their kindness and enthusiasm to help others often gets them involved in things which only serve others who aren't willing to reciprocate.

Edited by bLu3 de 3n3rgy
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Posted (edited)

A person who is heavily affiliated with a popular opportunist woman that I had a silent falling out with, wants me to help with an event that she is having in May. When it comes to an event in this particular field, my brand name is what is most known and I guess she wants to use that to gain more visitors and vendors. I tend to stay away from events like these because I know that her affiliate will be associated with it as well and I tend to avoid her at all cost.

However, I really do not want to go there, even though the woman has offered me free booth space. I just don't want to have anything to do with it.

Does anyone know if things will turn out fine?

I define "sin" as doing anything that goes against what you think is right, anything that goes against what you want to do. If I were you, I would listen to my instincts. A pendulum in a yes/no grid would help. But then you have to choice to follow what it tells you.

Edited by regeneratia
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The creator over the event is so excited about all of the good things that are happening with the planning of this event, and I don't want to ruin that vibe, so I will keep my word and help her promote it, but try to figure out some sort of exit plan and tell her my company won't be there. I don't know if this will hurt her or not, but hopefully still helping her promote it can prevent a lot of damage.

Thank you everybody for your advice!

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Ok, I told her. She seemed kind of down about it and asked if my backing out had to do with any of her affiliates. I told her I would rather not get into it, but that she didn't do anything wrong.

She said that it does make her wonder if she should examine whether or not her affiliates are good or bad in order to protect her brand.

It sucks that we couldn't connect further, I feel a little bit lighter now.

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Good, it worked out for the best if it's going to make her consider her affiliates.

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To tell you the truth, I really did not want to attend this event, even if I would have made money. I'm ruled by my feelings, so I would rather have a peace of mind over money. I only agreed to help because the woman over the event reminded me of myself when it came to her drive, she really needs the help, and because she seemed like a really positive person.

Maybe because what you really see here IS yourself, ....other people can turn out to be only disappointing to you for the most unimagineablely stupid of all reasons.

The creator over the event is so excited about all of the good things that are happening with the planning of this event, and I don't want to ruin that vibe, so I will keep my word and help her promote it, but try to figure out some sort of exit plan and tell her my company won't be there. I don't know if this will hurt her or not, but hopefully still helping her promote it can prevent a lot of damage.

Thank you everybody for your advice!

I find it rather hard to imagine you're actually getting involved while hoping to work out your exit strategy. It may be that what you're hoping to see there or to find through this event is another aspect of yourself; it would be more appropriate to plan for your own event, as the originators [of the event you had mentioned] might take any of your own helpful commentaries as intrusiive or controlling on your part. Sorry but many people don't really see how that is intended to be helpful, they sometimes see that constructive criticism only as damaging to them. It's sad but true.

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Maybe because what you really see here IS yourself, ....other people can turn out to be only disappointing to you for the most unimagineablely stupid of all reasons.

I find it rather hard to imagine you're actually getting involved while hoping to work out your exit strategy. It may be that what you're hoping to see there or to find through this event is another aspect of yourself; it would be more appropriate to plan for your own event, as the originators [of the event you had mentioned] might take any of your own helpful commentaries as intrusiive or controlling on your part. Sorry but many people don't really see how that is intended to be helpful, they sometimes see that constructive criticism only as damaging to them. It's sad but true.

All I'm doing in terms of getting involved was making graphics to promote her event online. I also saw myself wanting to eventually grow my event to an expo like this years ago before she started, but now my desire has led me to a different path running the business that I have now. It fits my personality better, allowing me to work behind the scenes where I don't have to show my face to hundreds of people. Instead, I put my heart into my products, people buy them and everyone's happy.

I do agree with you when you say that I see a piece of myself in her. I really do.

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It's not exactly what I meant that you see a piece of yourself in her.... it's that you see yourself here as if in a mirror. There is a huge difference between seeing yourself in others and merely seeing your own reflection there. No offense intended here, but parakeets love to talk to a mirror for company.

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Posted (edited)

It's not exactly what I meant that you see a piece of yourself in her.... it's that you see yourself here as if in a mirror. There is a huge difference between seeing yourself in others and merely seeing your own reflection there. No offense intended here, but parakeets love to talk to a mirror for company.

My apologies for misreading your post. I re-read it again to see if I could respond to the exact message you're getting across.

So you're basically trying to say that I'm just going off how I feel about the woman that I would rather avoid? I get what you mean, but that is not the case. And here is why:

I had the opportunist woman blocked on my Facebook account from 2010 into 2014 and I have not talked to her since 2010. Early this year, I deleted EVERYONE off of it as a sign of growth. I also tried to put issues aside and agree to help with this event this year as a sign of growth. However, my intuition told me that I should stay away. I tried ignoring my gut feeling so that I wasn't just going off of assumption and even asked for a more valid sign.

So when I see that this woman who is actually supposed to work WITH me to help this woman have the best event, block me instead, after the fact that I have not spoke to her in over three years, I just took it as a confirmation that I needed to step back. I removed her from my block list and she decided to infect an innocent woman's environment by blocking me, to where it can make this woman privy to our past issues. That can led to all sorts of messiness. Mind you, I never said anything recently that would make her block me as soon as she saw I unblocked her. So obviously, she is holding a grudge that is far bigger than what I would care to carry.

Also, there is no way I could be controlling or intrusive with my position over the company's event because the only thing I'm doing is advertising the information that she's already putting out. I really had no expectations when it came to attending the event other than selling an item or two and feeling out of place. I was basically going to be more in the background.

Edited by pisceanheart

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Why you would want to go out of your way to help somebody else who, seemingly still has this grudge against you, is too unfathomable really. Usually I take into account that somebody likes to make themselves unreadable as a test of patience .....or of miracles ? No matter what may come of it, I don't see any miracles in it either for you or for myself. The way that I see it is that unless it was something to you then you wouldn't be asking; but I can see a further conflict of confidenciality here because that is entirely none of my business. Your business is your business alone, it isn't required to make it clear exactly what that is. What ever answer you get or recieve has a meaning for you alone if that is the way you want it.

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Posted (edited)

Why you would want to go out of your way to help somebody else who, seemingly still has this grudge against you, is too unfathomable really. Usually I take into account that somebody likes to make themselves unreadable as a test of patience .....or of miracles ? No matter what may come of it, I don't see any miracles in it either for you or for myself. The way that I see it is that unless it was something to you then you wouldn't be asking; but I can see a further conflict of confidenciality here because that is entirely none of my business. Your business is your business alone, it isn't required to make it clear exactly what that is. What ever answer you get or recieve has a meaning for you alone if that is the way you want it.

I think you are misreading what I'm writing. The woman who is throwing the event is not my enemy. We never met in person and she comes off as a good woman to me. The one with the grudge is not her, but her affiliate who is supposed to help her with the event. Her affiliate has a problem with me. It's unfortunate because her subtle actions are infecting an innocent woman's environment, to where I feel I would not be comfortable there and have no other choice to back out in order to avoid conflict.

Despite not wanting to be at the event, I can still help the innocent woman get more attendees. I didn't want her to suffer and lose all of my support completely, as it's not her fault.

Edited by pisceanheart

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