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ambelamba

Cease to be judgmental

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I used to be very judgmental. Even after becoming an ex-Christian I was still too judgmental, until...

I met someone briefly.

She was around my age. Too old to pole-dance at the strip club I frequent. (35ish back then) She did GFE to support her son. And...she was an Army Intelligence officer and a linguist, specialized in...Korean. She was a white girl from South.

After I 'met' her, my view on people both men and women started to be shaken. I am still struggling with my narrow-mindness, though.

I was compelled to write this because my friend's friend does/did some *spam filter*s. Hardcore B/G. And she's been fighting her ex over her son at court. She recently received an angry letter from her friend who condemned her to be immoral.

You know, I don't know what to say. What I realized was that things are NOT simple, like religious, pious people want to believe.

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Posted (edited)

Not being Judgemental is an even bigger mistake then being judgemental. You are being judgemental toward her based on her story. There is nothing wrong with being kind hearted, helpful and generous, but it is wrong to be used, to enable others, or to be a sucker.

I would agree that unthinking Christians are wrong, but don't please lump all Christians in with each other. Some think.

Edited by DieChecker
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I used to be very judgmental. Even after becoming an ex-Christian I was still too judgmental, until...

I met someone briefly.

She was around my age. Too old to pole-dance at the strip club I frequent. (35ish back then) She did GFE to support her son. And...she was an Army Intelligence officer and a linguist, specialized in...Korean. She was a white girl from South.

After I 'met' her, my view on people both men and women started to be shaken. I am still struggling with my narrow-mindness, though.

I was compelled to write this because my friend's friend does/did some *spam filter*s. Hardcore B/G. And she's been fighting her ex over her son at court. She recently received an angry letter from her friend who condemned her to be immoral.

You know, I don't know what to say. What I realized was that things are NOT simple, like religious, pious people want to believe.

I don't know what about religion is so simple.

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Your struggle strikes me as a good thing, it means you're growing and changing, and maybe finding some new ways of being in the world that are more compassionate and understanding, less black and white. Being in judgment of others is the kind of arrogance that usually isolates us from everyone but that small group we're a part of that shares our beliefs. They're kind of like big lumps in a bowl of gravy.

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Custody battles are always messy, usually it isn't about what is best for the child it is about revenge. Women in our society are often degraded to low income jobs. (Not everyone can go to college.) Sometimes they must do things to feed and clothes their children that are not what "proper Christian" society thinks they should not because they want too but is what the must do. Those who are the most judgemental are the ones who in then end are creating the situation these women must deal with in the first place. The indoctrination of so called Christian "moral values" is a hard battle to overcome. You are doing well my friend.

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Posted (edited)

I'd just point out that the prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers and other unliked, unwanted people were the ones Jesus targeted to help/heal/teach.

Christians that ignore that and fortify their lives and hoard their money, and belongings, and who look down on others are the ones who are being ignorant.

But, just because I don't look down on someone does not mean I need to run over and hand over handfuls of money. They are just another person, but I have to use my Judgement (as is being Judgemental) to decide if they are a danger to myself or others, and... to themselves.

My Sister-in-Law was dating a guy that sold drugs. Gave her free drugs. Caused her to loose her job. Got her arrested. Got her running around naked (and abandoned) in the middle of town. Got her beat up and dropped a mile from the hospital. Got her bad credit. Got her evicted......

And do you know what she told us over and over again, when we told her he was a no good scum bag? "YOU ARE BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL!!!!" (Seriously, she did not speak. She only screamed.) And she would not listen till she ended up in jail for a good long while. Then she said, "Why didn't I listen to you all?".

Edited by DieChecker

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I see. Life is complex.

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