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markdohle

Is there anywhere to hide?

4 posts in this topic

Is there anywhere to hide?

I read an article a few years ago where studies have shown that when people meet someone new, the first instant of contact and evaluation that is made is correct. The problem is that it is often ignored or repressed before it can be processed. Why this is no one knows, or how this ‘judging’ of another is done.

Most of us know people who seem very angry; who are difficult to live with, but they themselves do not know it. It shows itself by their remarks. As well as their aggression that is as well often hidden beneath their brand of humor. Or their inability to accept others etc and so on. They can be very stiff and controlling, yet they themselves may not see that at all. What we hide from ourselves, and perhaps hoping to hide from others is impossible. A friend of mine called this “leaking”. I would imagine that in other ways other than the above illustration, we all may be read by others if we are out of touch with aspects of ourselves. To be blunt, I am out of touch with a lot.

So yes, perhaps it is impossible to hide from others over the long haul. Friendships stand or fall by others willing to accept the flaws and weaknesses of their friends. It is always a give and take when it comes to deepening fellowship with each other. It is no mystery, for it is often experienced that we see how a friend will always complain about one fault more or less serious in others, but yet have it in abundance themselves, but does not know it, at least on a conscious level. So I have no doubt that my friends see things in me that are abundantly obvious to them but what is called a ‘blind spot’ in me. I would venture to say that what really bothers me about others says something about my blind spot or spots.

I was with friends many years ago and they were trying to show me something about myself that I could not see. I did not feel defensive when they kept trying to bring their point home. I simply could not see it and told them so. It was a blind spot. I perhaps still have it and I am sure that my friends, the same ones, still see it, just as I see the same kind of thing in them.

Going deeper…I would say the thought that we are hidden from others is an illusion, though of course not everything is seen. We all have inner aspects of ourselves that we are aware of, struggle with, but because we see them and are aware, they do not need to show themselves to others.

I remember listening to the late Christopher Hitchens, one of the so-called “New Atheist”; who stated, that to believe that God is totally aware of whom we are is an insufferable concept to him. Sort of like having “Big Brother” always watching you. Of course I am not sure that is what it is about, at least for believers, well for me. Even though I have some deep ‘blind spots’ it is a relief for me that it is seen by the Infinite, and yes loved. One day when I am strong enough perhaps it will be shown me, or perhaps many blind spots will be allowed to come to my awareness before I die. If not, then there is what we call Purgatory, which is a continuation of God’s healing love in my soul. Total seeing of oneself is the only way to experience the total healing and mercy of God. The gift of grace is total, all has to be brought before its giftedness and accepted.

In the NDE, there is the “life review” which does exactly that, everything is brought to complete ‘High Definition Consciousness’, to be processed, embraced and in that to be healed. I would think it is a painful process, this shattering of the ego so that something larger can come forth. So perhaps to achieve some level of Self Awareness, which leads one to the understanding of the need of healing and mercy is best to do here. Infinite love is merciless in its infinite ‘Mercy’.

In denial even if unconscious, and even may be needed for a time, can cause pain and havoc in ones life. When the unconscious becomes conscious, there is also pain, a death to a limited fearful life, though less unconscious havoc. Pain has it reasons, though some pain that will not let go of its protective fear will only increase until the truth is allowed to surface……we are never alone in this.

The 5th step in the 12 step program can be helpful in this. For it is in telling of ones life, of the foibles and the out right evil done that healing comes. When another human hears the tale and still accepts the other, which is mercy, a great weight can be lifted from the person growing in humility. With the Infinite this process is deeper, total, accepting, but not protective of what must be done to achieve union and healing, and the ever expanding life I believe we are all called to. It is in fact “A fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God”, but necessary for us all.

Hell is state where this process (this gift) is denied, where the death to self is rejected, a choice that is free. Love and healing rejected is experienced as wrath and pain, but in the end it is still love and its demands that are rejected. In the end we all freely choose at such a depth of freedom that it is eternal. Who makes that rejection of infinite love? I have no idea, and neither do those who think they know by simply pointing so some bible verse on another. Each human being is the Child of God, loved, beloved, pursued and sought after. We are told not to judge for a reason, for when we do we have no idea what we are talking about.

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Posted (edited)

Your last line is telling, and we all should take it to heart: "We are told not to judge for a reason, for when we do we have no idea what we are talking about."

Being judgmental is probably my #1 sin, and it's not something in my blind spot. I am all-too-aware of it. When I practice humility I can tame it (my judgmental attitude), but often it's a roaring lion struggling to get out.

Thanks for your post.

Edited by DeWitz
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Your last line is telling, and we all should take it to heart: "We are told not to judge for a reason, for when we do we have no idea what we are talking about."

Being judgmental is probably my #1 sin, and it's not something in my blind spot. I am all-too-aware of it. When I practice humility I can tame it (my judgmental attitude), but often it's a roaring lion struggling to get out.

Thanks for your post.

My judgment often shows up instantly and full-blown, a reaction; when that happens I know I've just found a part of myself that needs further examination. It's like the person who triggered it is a messenger saying, hey, you better get a handle on this.

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Your last line is telling, and we all should take it to heart: "We are told not to judge for a reason, for when we do we have no idea what we are talking about."

Being judgmental is probably my #1 sin, and it's not something in my blind spot. I am all-too-aware of it. When I practice humility I can tame it (my judgmental attitude), but often it's a roaring lion struggling to get out.

Thanks for your post.

It is not about stopping judging, it seems to be automatic, just to not trust it, to think about it and as beany said in her remark, what is it saying about me. Like the 'roaring lion' analogy, well put.

Peace

Mark

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