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Men are happier with a smarter wife

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It was once a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune had everything a would-be wife could ever want.

But now it appears that it is men who ascribe to Jane Austen’s maxim – and they are the ones quite happy for the woman to be the breadwinner.

A study shows that today’s younger husbands are the first generation not to find wives with an equal or better education “threatening”.

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A woman I was dating years ago was reading a newspaper like publication that proclaimed that people who shop at Chico's are smarter, more educated and generally better people than those that shop at Walmart.

I asked her where she got the paper.

She said from Chico's. She was one class away from a MA degree and she still fell for it.

http://www.chicos.com/store/home.jsp

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These must be the same 'younger husbands' who carry handbags, cry on live tv when they lose at sports, take two hours to get washed & dressed and spend a lot of the day gossiping on their smart phones. :(

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Posted (edited)

I stopped to think about myself and all my close friends, male and female alike... I think in almost every case, the woman is the breadwinner or just plain makes more money. We're hardly young either... we range in age from roughly 40 to 55 or so.

Edited by MissMelsWell

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I have a question and it puzzles me to no end. Why would any person (male or female) want to be married to someone who just wasn't 'all that bright' in comparison to their own intellect? Oh, pretty/handsome is nice and all...but to be stuck in a marriage with someone that's rather 'slow on the uptake'...why?

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I have a question and it puzzles me to no end. Why would any person (male or female) want to be married to someone who just wasn't 'all that bright' in comparison to their own intellect? Oh, pretty/handsome is nice and all...but to be stuck in a marriage with someone that's rather 'slow on the uptake'...why?

To feel better about themselves? lol. Just to say "I'm the smarter one", I think I know a few men who'd feel insecure if their wives were smarter.... or... physically stronger...

Some people like to be in control too, and if their partners don't challenge them intellectually.... I guess it makes them feel... in control.

I have no idea, but just sayin.

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I can understand men wanting the physically stronger aspect. However, wanting a dumb wife just so they can be in control seems well, dumb in and of itself. Think about the aggravation of being married to someone who can't readily comprehend things, who engages in silly activities, who will likely be fiscally irresponsible. Won't this send things 'out of control' pretty damn quick?

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Posted (edited)

I have a question and it puzzles me to no end. Why would any person (male or female) want to be married to someone who just wasn't 'all that bright' in comparison to their own intellect? Oh, pretty/handsome is nice and all...but to be stuck in a marriage with someone that's rather 'slow on the uptake'...why?

maybe due to their own insecurity about how intelligent they are, perhaps to better dominate or control them or the relationship, to keep them from wanting too much outisde the relationship, etc etc

there are many reasons why men would like a dumb girl - not so much for women to like a dumb guy though. at least none that i can think of

Edited by JGirl
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Men are happier if they respect their wife. I.Q.s aside, more often than not, people bring gender specific intelligence to their marriage the other lacks. Marriage is a complimentary relationship.

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I can understand men wanting the physically stronger aspect. However, wanting a dumb wife just so they can be in control seems well, dumb in and of itself. Think about the aggravation of being married to someone who can't readily comprehend things, who engages in silly activities, who will likely be fiscally irresponsible. Won't this send things 'out of control' pretty damn quick?

I'll be the cynical Devil's Advocate.

A less intelligent spouse to take care of the scut work around the home and still be there to provide unconditional love when you get home from work could be considered a perfect solution for many professionals who would like a limited relationship. If you spend all day having to wrestle brains with others, you don't really want to come home and do it again. It's like why sumo wrestlers like to get married to tiny women.

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Posted (edited)

I feel like only people with security problems would want a partner who is dumb( because then it makes you feel smart)

Edit: just to add that I guess JGirl already took my point

Edited by spartan max2
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I'll be the cynical Devil's Advocate.

A less intelligent spouse to take care of the scut work around the home and still be there to provide unconditional love when you get home from work could be considered a perfect solution for many professionals who would like a limited relationship...

The key phrase there being, "who would like a limited relationship".

Personally, I'd rather hire a housekeeper and keep dogs.

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women who are a touch.., vapid.., tend to have a morally relaxed attitude when it comes to pleasure, whereas women with more substance take a lot more perverting.

but i've always enjoyed a challenge....

.

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Obviously..but good luck finding one.. :D

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The key phrase there being, "who would like a limited relationship".

Personally, I'd rather hire a housekeeper and keep dogs.

Well, dogs are certainly lower maintenance than most men. That said, while my brother-in-law is hardly unintelligent, compared to my sister, he is not in her league. He is, however, an excellent chef, he keeps the home, takes care of the ridiculously expensive dogs, and makes her happy. She is pretty competitive, and her first husband was another lawyer, which eventually led to their separation. Pretty much the only good thing that came out of that first marriage was my goddaughter.

A lot of high powered execs tend to prefer limited relationships. The same emotional detachment that gives them the edge in business keeps them from desiring anything more at home. I myself have to exert myself to be social on unimportant occasions. When at home, I would prefer to be able to relax.

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Dumb wives are more likely to produce dumb children.

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A woman I was dating years ago was reading a newspaper like publication that proclaimed that people who shop at Chico's are smarter, more educated and generally better people than those that shop at Walmart.

I asked her where she got the paper.

She said from Chico's. She was one class away from a MA degree and she still fell for it.

http://www.chicos.com/store/home.jsp

yea, education does not connote intelligence. yikes.

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Hmm, maybe that's why I'm still single.

If she's 'that smart', she'd be smart enough to not want me as a husband!

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Hmm, maybe that's why I'm still single.

If she's 'that smart', she'd be smart enough to not want me as a husband!

Could it be that you are a chick magnet? ;)

(Competition is a turn off for some ladies.)

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Could it be that you are a chick magnet? ;)

(Competition is a turn off for some ladies.)

Whilst I thank you for the possible intended compliment... nah!

On the GQ scale, I might be described as a 'rustic' (ie. long hair, beard and 'bush bound'). What I do appreciate is a thoughtful discussion interspersed with good stories and humour.

Would I, if I could, hook up with a woman smarter than me? Hell yeah!

Would I, if I could, hook up with a beautiful vapid person? I'd rather chew my own foot off, really.

But, as an aside, I'd like to ask the responders to this thread for their thoughts so far. Does anyone really equate 'higher income' with 'smarter'?

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Dumb wives are more likely to produce dumb children.

That's an old axiom! Of course, it negates the dumb husband/father.

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I've encountered two women in my life that I even considered to be intimate with...

They are both radiant, intelligent, humorous, passionate, amazing human beings.

No one else has ever elicited that response in me and in both cases, there was no conscious choice in the matter, it was much like Buckminster Fuller says in his quote "Love is metaphysical gravity". We met and just fell into each other.

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...Buckminster Fuller says in his quote "Love is metaphysical gravity". We met and just fell into each other.

We're talking about who people choose to marry. It appears that love is not the discerning factor in all cases. If one desires to control and dominate ones partner that doesn't seem like love to me. Then again, I'm old...the younger generation may have differing ideas on the subject.

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Posted (edited)

I can understand men wanting the physically stronger aspect. However, wanting a dumb wife just so they can be in control seems well, dumb in and of itself.

From a psychological pov, I might surmise it's a combination of strong-willed, but negatively viewed (i.e. possibly abusive) mother, weak-willed father (no positive male role model) and male ego.

Edited by Leonardo

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Posted (edited)

We're talking about who people choose to marry. It appears that love is not the discerning factor in all cases. If one desires to control and dominate ones partner that doesn't seem like love to me. Then again, I'm old...the younger generation may have differing ideas on the subject.

Indeed, certain relationships even have this at their core. Different strokes for different folks.

But "love", whatever that is, has never been the single factor in marriage. I have no idea how many sailors I counseled prior to marriage, and without exception, all the ones who had nothing more than "love" in common inevitably ended up in divorce. Love is good for movie-length stories, but makes a weak foundation for a relationship.

Edited by aquatus1
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