Dream of future husband?

[lisabee71]

I once had a dream where a man I had only met and spoken to two or three times and very briefly was alluded to being my future husband.

In the dream, I was inside the front doors of a cathedral. This man was at the front altar in a tuxedo, smiling. I was in a beautiful wedding gown. It was only him and I. I heard a loud male voice (no one else was there but us) say, "Prepare yourself for your husband."

I then woke up crying.

This man and I did go on to date for two and a half years. We had both been previously married and divorced. I never told him about the dream.

We have since broken up and no longer cross paths.

I felt after I had the dream that it was so serious, did I miss something?

[Skep B]

Dreams are just a way of our subconscious working things out.

I assume this guy who you had met was someone you were attracted to anyways, or you wouldn't have gone on to date him for as long as you did.

I don't think you missed anything, but you had a dream about someone you were interested in. We all have a lot of dreams each night that we don't remember, but this guy was something that stuck in your head. It's not an uncommon thing to dream about someone new in your life.

[Reilly.]

If you have a strong past than these memories are likely to come through in dreams sometimes. The man who will be your husband (your soul mate) won't be someone who walks away from you. Stick in there and keep moving forward.

In the meantime enjoy being single and keep on dancing through life.

[Reilly.]

[Double Post Glitch]

Edited July 9, 2015 by Reilly.

[John from Lowell]

Hello,

I would ask myself what I can learn from a dream like that. Life is filled with countless opportunities if you Choose to Believe that way.

John

[lisabee71]

Thank you all for your opinions. Especially Reilly for the encouragement. I will say what's weird is he was very much NOT my type. I just thought he was a nice man. He was much older than I, and generally would never be who I would normally be attracted to. But we wound up really enjoying each others company and had a nice 2 1/2 years. We parted on good terms. He seemed more a 'mate' to me than any other man I ever dated or married, so it was unusual.

[Patient Zero]

i personally don't put too much stock into my dreams, only because their usually so bizarre or nonsensical.

A question for you, though.

Did you love this gentleman and at any point did you contemplate him being the 'one'?

Thanks for sharing your dream, welcome to UM.

[lisabee71]

i personally don't put too much stock into my dreams, only because their usually so bizarre or nonsensical.

A question for you, though.

Did you love this gentleman and at any point did you contemplate him being the 'one'?

Thanks for sharing your dream, welcome to UM.

I also have very bizarre dreams a lot. I believe some dreams are just our subconscious working out our daytime events, some are symbolic and maybe have meaning for us to grow, and some are influenced by our loved ones reaching out to us, but that's just my opinion. I very much did love him and he loved me (he said) but he could not move on from previous difficulties in his life. I know that's vague but I felt it was time to move on.

[eight bits]

lisabee71

Disclaimer: I don't interpret other people's dreams, but some dream motifs and characters are dreamt by many people, and I sometimes recognize those motifs and characters. I might be able to tell you what several people who have dreamt dreams like yours have thought about their dreams, but only you can decide whether that has anything to do with your personal dream.

You have a pretty good idea about dream functions.

I believe some dreams are just our subconscious working out our daytime events, some are symbolic and maybe have meaning for us to grow, and some are influenced by our loved ones reaching out to us, but that's just my opinion.

Now to figure out which dream does what. From the fragment of this dream you told, I can't tell whether it was symbolic (the ritual setting and the strong affect) or "working out our daytime events" (you say that you had met the man before; apparently you had not yet consciously appraised his potential as a mate). There's no law that says a dream can't be both, either.

It is interesting that you never told him about the dream, do you know why you didn't?

Plainly in retrospect, the dream was a call to adventure (as Joseph Campbell liked to call these kinds of events, also a searchable term). You did break it off eventually, apparently coming to realize that something else you had overlooked or underestimated about him, at least for a while, was a deal killer (whatever those persistent "previous difficulties" were).

You now have had the experience of a dramatic love affair, with some elements that are suspicious of an animus-projection (searchable) onto this fellow. If so, then you are now among the few who have seen through that kind of projection, apparently on your own, and walked away from it. You really have grown, then, but possibly at some avoidable cost to yourself.

I think the bottom line here is that none of us, not just you personally, should assume that our dreams are remarkably smarter than we are (for example, in foreseeing the future) or even necessarily scrupulous about seeking our personal best interests.

It could not be so surprising that the tireless screenwriter-producer-director of these nightly dramas we all expereince might be a drama queen, ...

Holy moley, doesn't "Prepare yourself for your husband" sound just a tad ominous?

... who does authentically teach us something (for example, what you've learned from this affair), but at a higher cost than was really necessary to learn that (economizing personal wear and tear being, to all appearances, a conscious concern much more than an unconscious one).

Finally, here is a heuristic that I have found profitable in all situations, including thinking about dreams. Anybody, conscious or unconscious, who refers to the future does so to influence your behavior in the present. Step one in evaluating any communication about the future is to discern "What change in my behavior is the source of the prediction trying to influence?" A good follow-up question is "Is that change in my present behavior really a good idea?"

Edited July 10, 2015 by eight bits

[Reilly.]

I have read this thread, but I will be replying in the morning. Its very late.

[lisabee71]

Dear eight bits,

First let me say that I had to re-read your post three times to get a grasp on your thoughts. But I love that being in a place (UM) where I can read and learn and stretch my brain to understand things I'm not used to studying so deeply. I love this!

Now, first question...I didn't tell him because I felt it would freak him out (in the beginning), then later on, I wanted him to make his choices of the relationship of his own free will.

I will say I learned a very important lesson from the relationship, in the way he treated me and what I came to realize about myself. I had been divorced for four years when we met. My ex-husband had a very matter of fact way of telling me, a lot, during that marriage, that I was unattractive, embarrassing and not good enough. I had for years felt very inadequate in every way even in my parenting.

When I dated the man from the dream, he helped me to see through the course of our relationship how valuable I truly was. I learned to trust myself again on my parenting skills and my own choices and to see myself as special and attractive. I truly think this man could have been a "anam cara" for me; which is a celtic/gaelic term meaning soul friend.

*(This book is fantastic- Anam Cara by John O'Donohue)

Relationships can be so complicated but I learned a lot from this man. So maybe that was the whole point.

Thank you for your thoughts on this and I will research a lot of the terms you used that I don't fully understand yet.

Lisa

Edited July 10, 2015 by lisabee71

[Reilly.]

The only person who can give you self-worth is yourself. We all want someone to care for us, make us feel loved, and change our lives but when all is said and done until we are right in ourselves we'll never really be right with someone else. I am sorry that you've had a rough relationship and a hard go of things, but there is no magical man who is going to come into your life and love you and make everything better. You need to do that for yourself, only then will someone see just how truly beautiful you really are.

[eight bits]

Hi, Lisa

All that, and I forgot to say welcome aboard!

My prose can be a little dense sometimes . Sorry about that.

I thank you for an interesting story, much larger than just the dream that precipitated it. I am also glad that it did work out for you.

Life is complicated, and what is truly in our best interests is not always clear. In such a complicated universe, it is a good thing that we have more resources to draw upon than we are consciously aware of.

Best wishes. Well dreamt, and well lived, too.

[lisabee71]

The only person who can give you self-worth is yourself. We all want someone to care for us, make us feel loved, and change our lives but when all is said and done until we are right in ourselves we'll never really be right with someone else. I am sorry that you've had a rough relationship and a hard go of things, but there is no magical man who is going to come into your life and love you and make everything better. You need to do that for yourself, only then will someone see just how truly beautiful you really are.

You are completely correct. But when someone has been pushed into a deep ditch for a long time, sometimes it takes a friend to help them get a footing so they can climb back out.

[Reilly.]

You are completely correct. But when someone has been pushed into a deep ditch for a long time, sometimes it takes a friend to help them get a footing so they can climb back out.

This is true, I've experienced this myself. We are social creatures and sometimes it helps to know there are other people who like us for who we are and get it. Growth and change is one thing, but sometimes just finding someone who thinks you're good enough just how you are is nice too. Especially when coming through a recent struggle.

[Katecaitlin13]

Hallo.Sorry for my English.... I had a dream, someone (she was women with black hair,bit I dont know this women in real life) ask me, do you interesting who is your future husband? I say,yes,next she said,he is your future husband and show me man(i.know he) next he smile me and I.smile too. help me please,is this true or.not?

[John from Lowell]

Hello Kate,

This is a good dream tpo have gotten. It is real if you can believe it is real. Meaning that if you act and deal with this man as if he will be your future husband, he will be.

John

 

[Katecaitlin13]

But,if I can`t believe it,it is not real? I think ,I cant change it

[John from Lowell]

Hi,

Correct. If you can not believe it, then it will not be real and that perception will become your reality.

The issue with free choice is all about trust in intuition or intellectual reasoning. Can you invest yourself in some thing good or must you brace yourself for misery.

John

 

[Metaman92]

Really neat! I'm glad I found this.

Several years ago when I was in high school I had a somewhat similar experience to yours. I had two dreams within a month or so (roughly), each with a different setting, where I met a girl out in a fairly public place. I don't remember much regarding what happened in the dreams, but I do remember what she looked like pretty well. Turns out, just a few months ago I met a girl, who I've been dating since, that very very strongly resembles the physical appearance of the one in my two dreams. I had forgotten about the dreams until a couple months after we've been together. Coincidence? 

[Katecaitlin13]

We are not.together now, we only know.each other,I am.sorry about it