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Would be grateful for some advice/insight


Dewlanna

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Hi,

If anybody here feels drawn to maybe help me figure this out I would be grateful.

So, I got a message on Facebook from a previous friend of mine completely out of the blue.

We were friends for a long time, from when we were about 13 or so. We were pretty close, in hindsight I depended far more on her than she did on me, and we didn’t really “split” on good terms, I was really hurt and angry and I think she was pretty peeved off with me as well.

That was a couple of years ago, and now she just messaged me like nothing happened at all, just “hi, it’s been a while, how’s things?”

I’m just wondering if me replying to her will actually benefit me in any way, or if there’s any hidden agenda from her. I have some medical issues and I just don’t know if I have the energy to open up to her again.

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Just see where it goes.

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If it were me even if I had health problems I would reply back . Just because they messaged you doesn't mean there is something horrible going to be said. You can cut ties with this person anytime you feel they are out to say hurtful things to you. Always reach out to people if they reach out to you , who knows it may start up a really good friendship , maybe time has shown them how bad they feel with you not in their life . Seems their words were of kindness . Buddha says : :“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.” I wish you much luck !

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Thanks you two.

I think I will just reply with a non committal response and see what happens.. I guess I just wanted some form of confirmation that I'm not being a gullible idiot again..

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This may help you : "There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills."

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Thanks Darkenpath.

I think you're right about "Always reach out to people if they reach out to you , who knows it may start up a really good friendship , maybe time has shown them how bad they feel with you not in their life"

I need to let go of old feelings and grudges, but it's hard when I get reminded of them and how it made me feel, the hurt at the time.

I need to be a better person, simple as that..

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you already seem like a good person and maybe you may rub some of that goodness off on your old friend . It feels so much better to be kind than have that heavy burden of resentment over you.

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would this person make any difference if they come back into your life?

i had issues with friends before (i break up with friends all the time, bc i have no patience for falseness) but i learned to recognize the ones who are worth coming back and the ones who arent. i never regreted of letting a friend to come back to my life, but that privilege was meant for few people anyway.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On ‎5‎/‎11‎/‎2016 at 4:12 AM, Dewlanna said:

Hi,

If anybody here feels drawn to maybe help me figure this out I would be grateful.

So, I got a message on Facebook from a previous friend of mine completely out of the blue.

We were friends for a long time, from when we were about 13 or so. We were pretty close, in hindsight I depended far more on her than she did on me, and we didn’t really “split” on good terms, I was really hurt and angry and I think she was pretty peeved off with me as well.

That was a couple of years ago, and now she just messaged me like nothing happened at all, just “hi, it’s been a while, how’s things?”

I’m just wondering if me replying to her will actually benefit me in any way, or if there’s any hidden agenda from her. I have some medical issues and I just don’t know if I have the energy to open up to her again.

So basically I am not a psychic but I have had this happen to me with a friend and I also have medical issues but I didn't know until after our friendship ended and when she reached out I never told her about it.

Back on topic: I am older than you. I ended my friendship with this girl when we were 18. We were best friends for 2 years and friends for 3 years. I for one, was the friend who got depended on too much. It was too draining on me. She was not a good friend to me. For me, I knew I did not want to be her friend again so I did not answer her message and I blocked her. I have not spoken to her since.

 

If you are unsure I say go for it. Just be cautious with your heart. Keep your guard up until you are sure she is being genuine.

 

Please give us an update. Thanks.

 

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I replied. :) 

I thought about it for a day or so, and then decided to let go of any previous feelings, leave them in the past.  I did tell her how hurt I was and what I felt, she responded, and we've chatted a few times now over Viber.

She was part of my life for such a long time, and it's nice talking to her again..

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Dewlanna- I am glad you went with your heart. Trust between the two of you will build over time as long as you both want to continue talking.

We can all use more friends! Thanks for the update.

 

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