We are Pilgrims (notes for grief retreat)

[markdohle]

We are Pilgrims
(notes for grief retreat)

One day we will find ourselves in a deep dark woods, along and bereft. 

One of the hardest lessons to get is that one of the central aspects of being human is that we are in fact pilgrims.  We are on a journey, a very difficult one with many painful as well as joy experiences along the way.  We gain and we lose, we rejoice and we experience sorrow, health and sickness, we lose our youth, all of these can bring us to a point of inner crisis and sorrow in our lives.

The loss of naivety

We can have a sort of innocence or a better term naivety about life, for a time we can ignore the fact that our time is very, very short.  This is not pleasant so it can be hidden from conscious awareness until ‘something’ happens that will send that illusion crashing too the floor.  That ‘something’ is the death of a loved one, or a change in life so extreme that what comes after is different. The deeper the loss the more extreme the effect, which causes grief, perhaps one of the most common experiences for humanity…..

Waking up

This struggle bring us back to ourselves, it is a sort of ‘waking up’, though the experience can seem to have a dream like aspect to it.  Yet how we live from one day to another can be the actual dream. 

Many types of grief but the same root

So there are many losses in our lives, as well as gains.  How we deal with this unrelenting aspect of our lives will dictate what we gain.  We are called in our struggles and sorrows to become more aware of our lives, to learn to embrace the transitory aspect of ‘things’ and to allow our faith to deepen that journey into deeper reality.  Something that is often put down on ones list of priorities, which I find somewhat intriguing, since we don’t have an unlimited supply of days to live our lives….it can be frightening for some to think about.

The Easy way

The easiest answer is not always the best one.  We can react, which is a choice, we can feel bitter, angry and in the end despair, or we can choose to go deeper and to seek joy, and meaning in this often confusing life that we find ourselves in.

[Grandpa Greenman]

Grief is very complex, it has stages you go through and it often really isn't a choice.  It takes as long as it takes to get through it.  You are going to feel bitterness, anger and despair, it is part of the process.  Watching kids go through it is really tough, because their emotions are right the surface. It takes time to get back to center and sometimes professional help.  I think I was 3 years before I felt some semblance of normal.  I don't think I ever went back to being the person I  was.  It is life changing. 

[markdohle]

Yes it can be a harrowing process, thanks for sharing your wisdom. 

Peaceh

Mark

[jmccr8]

I suppose that the only grief that I have known was may years ago,that said I always seemed to hold to the passage about the end times and how our brothers would disappear and not to grieve for them. Other that that it's some of the one's that are still breathing that give me concern. 

 

jmccr8