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Buddhism, Godless, and Alzheimers


Sherapy

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2 hours ago, simplybill said:

Hi Sherapy - 

First of all: God bless you for being such an awesome caretaker, and thank you for being an inspiration to all of us here.

Dr. Mary Newport's book, "Alzheimer's Disease: What if there was a cure?" might be of help:

https://www.amazon.com/Alzheimers-Disease-There-Story-Ketones/dp/1591202930/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1469385845&sr=8-3&keywords=Dr.+Mary+Newport

From the Amazon page:

"Acting on new research showing that medium-chain fatty acids, which act like an alternative fuel in the insulin-deficient Alzheimer's brain, can sometimes reverse or at least stabilize the disease, author Dr. Mary T. Newport has demonstrated through her care for her husband that there is hope, relief, and perhaps a cure."

I use MCT Oil almost daily now. It's one of two supplements that I've found to have an immediate, noticeable affect on my mental and physical wellbeing. (The other one is Vitamin B-12.)

From the Christian point of view:

After reading your post, I found this blog that describes my own approach to biblical wisdom:

http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/debbie-mcdaniel/33-verses-to-remind-us--we-do-not-have-to-fear.html

You might ask your friend if she would be okay with reading one of those verses each day, and maybe discussing it with you. I've used that "daily reading" approach for many years, and have noticed an "immediate, noticeable affect" in my spiritual wellbeing.

simplybill

 

Thank you Bill, I will put to use your links. Really, thank you. 

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I found one form of Budhism to be very deceptive. That was the one where they chant Nam Yo Rengay Kio. I went to my first meeting, started chanting and soon had a vision of three monks sitting cross legged on a raised platform. When I ask my host does chanting those words take you to 3 monks, everyone in the group gave vague answers. No yes or no. What they did ask was did I not continue because the monks were Asian. I assured them that was not the case but that they were males. I assured them had they been female, I most certainly would have continued. No one found my joke funny.

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On 7/20/2016 at 2:25 PM, Sherapy said:

A dear friend of mine has Alzhiemer's and anyone who has walked this journey knows the challenges. I am live in and it's 24/7.  I am finding great comfort in Buddhism and running meditation. It is literally saving my sanity, my emotional health, and maybe I am gonna get a great body from all the running. My friend has no belief system at all, and she is struggling with fear of death at a level I have never seen in a person.  I actually think she might benefit from some kind of belief and want to hear some ideas, I think in some cases God may not be the worst idea. Thanks everybody, psyche I want your voice of reason, X what are your thoughts, Frank do you think I should encourage Buddhism. 8 tee your wisdom is valued, Sharon your thoughts are appreciated. My friend needs peace. All opinions matter even yours Habitat. Lol 

Sorry to hear that Sherapy. My wife went through something similar to your situation a while back. It can be a distressing and stressful time not only on the person and those close to them, but also affects the family of those giving care in many other ways indirectly.

As to offering belief in god, perhaps only you will know in that situation. I never offer anything this way, it can be difficult but I always resort to the most honest answer, and only if asked. "I don't know". It just seems that being genuine is best. 

That's not much help, I know. The greatest help probably amounts to simply being there and caring. All the best with it.

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16 hours ago, Horta said:

Sorry to hear that Sherapy. My wife went through something similar to your situation a while back. It can be a distressing and stressful time not only on the person and those close to them, but also affects the family of those giving care in many other ways indirectly.

As to offering belief in god, perhaps only you will know in that situation. I never offer anything this way, it can be difficult but I always resort to the most honest answer, and only if asked. "I don't know". It just seems that being genuine is best. 

That's not much help, I know. The greatest help probably amounts to simply being there and caring. All the best with it.

Thank you Horta, your kind words help a lot. 

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On 20/07/2016 at 5:25 AM, Sherapy said:

My friend has no belief system at all, and she is struggling with fear of death at a level I have never seen in a person.  I actually think she might benefit from some kind of belief and want to hear some ideas, I think in some cases God may not be the worst idea.

It's a tough situation, Sheri, and ultimately the only voice that can truly guide you is your own.

With that in mind, my approach to her fear of death would not be to instill in her any form of religious or quasi-religious belief - especially since she has not held such a belief previously. It would seem to me to be somewhat disrespectful towards her previous life decisions to attempt to do so. It is her voice that has guided her to this point in her life without holding to any belief system, and perhaps that voice should be respected before all others?

Perhaps a non-belief route would be to address her fear of death through art and literature. Poetry can be a powerful means of exorcising fear.

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On 7/20/2016 at 11:26 PM, Sherapy said:

The doctor and the psychologist we see in tandem suggests the same meditate, exercise, and mental shaping ( safe place). Great advice and reminders thank you LG

Hi Sheri

I nearly replied to this the other day, but in the end I felt I needed to reflect more before answering. Thanks for mentioning me, like Sharon says, we sure miss you, it seems you have your hands full ATM though, but you remain in our thoughts.

Not sure why I picked this particular pot to reply to, so many of them have elements that need to be addressed but I will encompass my thoughts for now here. I guess I agree with the above advice so this is as good a place as any I guess.

You mention fear. I can really relate to that, my father's final years with Alzheimer's certainly had that aspect. It was very difficult to deal with as it is hard for that person to convey the fear they feel, I am sure it is heightened by the condition and is associated with anxiety

What I found was what helped my father more than anything was me. And my siblings of course, but at times like that, a close connection is the only one they can trust - trust to believe them, trust to keep them safe, trust to be with them when they need it. The above is excellent advice, keep the mind busy, memories are good to reflect on as they offer happy times. What they do not want to be is alone. I am not sire if that is because they realise their time is  coming and do not want to be alone when it happens, and no don't, the fact that those final days are finally here has to be daunting for anyone.

Just being there might not feel like helping at all, but I think it helps a lot more than any of us realise, constant company when your time is running out is a valuable commodity. I honestly think the best think we can do is "be there" for these people when they need us. If God has never been part of one's life, I cannot see it offering much comfort at the end of it. Crosswords if possible, scrabble, long talks and the most healthy existence we can offer is a huge help, and cleanliness. In that state, cleanliness does not always get where it should be, but that nice clean smell is comforting and helps one feel more comfortable. 

I won't offer advice of follow this, or try that, I can see what a special person you are, and the kindness that oozes from you is from my experience the best you can offer. What you have inside of you is what will help. It might not seem it to you, but if you could step out of your skin and into hers, I think you might be able to see what I am saying there. Just be there is the best we can do. My father would call me up at like 1:30 am during the week, but I think that popping over even at that time was what showed him, if he needs us, we will come. And that means a lot when you feel alone. Try not to worry yourself too much, or you might miss out on what might be one last special moment. It is hard at times, but I think it is the best we can do. Do not give her an imaginary friend to die with, but a real one I guess is what I would suggest. 

 

My best wishes and thoughts are with you dear lady. I wish you all the best. 

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5 hours ago, psyche101 said:

Hi Sheri

I nearly replied to this the other day, but in the end I felt I needed to reflect more before answering. Thanks for mentioning me, like Sharon says, we sure miss you, it seems you have your hands full ATM though, but you remain in our thoughts.

Not sure why I picked this particular pot to reply to, so many of them have elements that need to be addressed but I will encompass my thoughts for now here. I guess I agree with the above advice so this is as good a place as any I guess.

You mention fear. I can really relate to that, my father's final years with Alzheimer's certainly had that aspect. It was very difficult to deal with as it is hard for that person to convey the fear they feel, I am sure it is heightened by the condition and is associated with anxiety

What I found was what helped my father more than anything was me. And my siblings of course, but at times like that, a close connection is the only one they can trust - trust to believe them, trust to keep them safe, trust to be with them when they need it. The above is excellent advice, keep the mind busy, memories are good to reflect on as they offer happy times. What they do not want to be is alone. I am not sire if that is because they realise their time is  coming and do not want to be alone when it happens, and no don't, the fact that those final days are finally here has to be daunting for anyone.

Just being there might not feel like helping at all, but I think it helps a lot more than any of us realise, constant company when your time is running out is a valuable commodity. I honestly think the best think we can do is "be there" for these people when they need us. If God has never been part of one's life, I cannot see it offering much comfort at the end of it. Crosswords if possible, scrabble, long talks and the most healthy existence we can offer is a huge help, and cleanliness. In that state, cleanliness does not always get where it should be, but that nice clean smell is comforting and helps one feel more comfortable. 

I won't offer advice of follow this, or try that, I can see what a special person you are, and the kindness that oozes from you is from my experience the best you can offer. What you have inside of you is what will help. It might not seem it to you, but if you could step out of your skin and into hers, I think you might be able to see what I am saying there. Just be there is the best we can do. My father would call me up at like 1:30 am during the week, but I think that popping over even at that time was what showed him, if he needs us, we will come. And that means a lot when you feel alone. Try not to worry yourself too much, or you might miss out on what might be one last special moment. It is hard at times, but I think it is the best we can do. Do not give her an imaginary friend to die with, but a real one I guess is what I would suggest. 

 

My best wishes and thoughts are with you dear lady. I wish you all the best. 

Thankyou for your thoughtful post. As you well know and I am a finding out very little sticks or is remembered at this point. I think you are right just being here and kindness are the best things I can do for my friend. The feeling of safety is paramount. There are incredibly funtimes too, when she is in a childlike state. There isn't much left for her to do, she can't read much, can't remember books on tape long enough to understand the book, she doesn't like television except for tennis and it is so hard for her to focus she can't handle it long. She still has occasional lucid moments where she is the woman she used to be. We have a therapist helping us she helps me get the knowledge I need and has taught me amazing coping skills and she helps my friend gently face reality, and try to accept what is, and I have found solace in the path of Buddhism and my friend has amazing friends who are incredibly caring and kind and I keep her social life full, this is what she loves the most. Miss you my friend, thanks for posting.

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7 hours ago, Leonardo said:

It's a tough situation, Sheri, and ultimately the only voice that can truly guide you is your own.

With that in mind, my approach to her fear of death would not be to instill in her any form of religious or quasi-religious belief - especially since she has not held such a belief previously. It would seem to me to be somewhat disrespectful towards her previous life decisions to attempt to do so. It is her voice that has guided her to this point in her life without holding to any belief system, and perhaps that voice should be respected before all others?

Perhaps a non-belief route would be to address her fear of death through art and literature. Poetry can be a powerful means of exorcising fear.

Thank you for your post Leo, she doesn't remember much from day to day, little short term memory. At this point, we just live in the now and do what ever works In the moment to bring her comfort. 

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8 hours ago, Sherapy said:

Thankyou for your thoughtful post. As you well know and I am a finding out very little sticks or is remembered at this point. I think you are right just being here and kindness are the best things I can do for my friend. The feeling of safety is paramount. There are incredibly funtimes too, when she is in a childlike state. There isn't much left for her to do, she can't read much, can't remember books on tape long enough to understand the book, she doesn't like television except for tennis and it is so hard for her to focus she can't handle it long. She still has occasional lucid moments where she is the woman she used to be. We have a therapist helping us she helps me get the knowledge I need and has taught me amazing coping skills and she helps my friend gently face reality, and try to accept what is, and I have found solace in the path of Buddhism and my friend has amazing friends who are incredibly caring and kind and I keep her social life full, this is what she loves the most. Miss you my friend, thanks for posting.

Buddhism sounds like a great option for you to meditate and get some headspace. From what I pick up from it. Which is what you will need, It can be frustrating, depressing, and very little reward. Appreciation I have no doubt is there, but cannot be expressed. I found those lucid moments show that at least some of the time, even in those exaggerated states, some things still sink in form time to time. It honestly sounds very sadly like the end is near. You are a true humanitarian. I know the challenges are mountainous, I admire your strength and tenacity to make anothers life end well. When it gets hard, please remember to reflect that people like you are what really keeps the world turning, and that your friends love and admire you for being you. I just wish we were all close enough to come give you a hand. 

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29 minutes ago, psyche101 said:

Buddhism sounds like a great option for you to meditate and get some headspace. From what I pick up from it. Which is what you will need, It can be frustrating, depressing, and very little reward. Appreciation I have no doubt is there, but cannot be expressed. I found those lucid moments show that at least some of the time, even in those exaggerated states, some things still sink in form time to time. It honestly sounds very sadly like the end is near. You are a true humanitarian. I know the challenges are mountainous, I admire your strength and tenacity to make anothers life end well. When it gets hard, please remember to reflect that people like you are what really keeps the world turning, and that your friends love and admire you for being you. I just wish we were all close enough to come give you a hand. 

Thank you so much A., for your kind words. It is the kind of journey I could not survive or get through without the friends I have and she has. I really will cherish your post and reread it on the challenging days. Especially the part you offer to help. You are a great soul my beloved friend. Indeed, Buddhism helps me deal with the reality of this and still maintain peace, compassion, and kindness. I run 4 miles a day now, it takes me to a happy place. So I am getting into shape as a bonus. Lol 

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3 hours ago, Sherapy said:

Thank you so much A., for your kind words. It is the kind of journey I could not survive or get through without the friends I have and she has. I really will cherish your post and reread it on the challenging days. Especially the part you offer to help. You are a great soul my beloved friend. Indeed, Buddhism helps me deal with the reality of this and still maintain peace, compassion, and kindness. I run 4 miles a day now, it takes me to a happy place. So I am getting into shape as a bonus. Lol 

I know you are on a difficult journey. If we cannot be the in person, we are in spirit. If we can be of the sort of assistance you have been to so many of us in difficult times, make sure you do not hesitate to contact us. You are always there for us, we are here for you if we can be. 

Good to hear that running is working for you, I can imagine how that would be good, not that your shape needs improving at all though, you are stunning, but that mental shape is all important too, and physical exercise is excellent there. 

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2 hours ago, psyche101 said:

I know you are on a difficult journey. If we cannot be the in person, we are in spirit. If we can be of the sort of assistance you have been to so many of us in difficult times, make sure you do not hesitate to contact us. You are always there for us, we are here for you if we can be. 

Good to hear that running is working for you, I can imagine how that would be good, not that your shape needs improving at all though, you are stunning, but that mental shape is all important too, and physical exercise is excellent there. 

Thank you so much Hun. You always make me smile. I will take you up on your offer to talk if I need to. You and I have been thru a lot of the same things. I hope life finds you well, loved, and joyous. You deserve it. 

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