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Life or death: Save your Mum, or your Wife?


seeder

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what would YOU do?

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Chinese man slammed for saving mother instead of wife from floods

A Chinese man has been condemned online after choosing to save his mother from deadly floodwaters instead of his wife.

Gao Fengshou's wife and mother of his children has now left him after the split second decision to put his parent first, The Times reported.

The decorator acted as flooding spread towards his village of Xingtai in the north China province of Hebei on July 20, telling his family to clamber on to the roof.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/chinese-man-slammed-for-saving-mother-instead-of-wife-from-floods-a3305336.html

 

 

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A man was bought 2 ties by his mother in law....for his birthday. one green, one red...

he decided to wear the green tie to his birthday dinner with the family... in honour of the gift...

The mother in law yells...."So whats wrong with the red one then"?

:lol:

 

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Your mother raised you and sacrificed for you, so you owe her a debt to keep living to honour her. You chose your wife (at least, in my society you choose your wife) so you owe it to her to keep that choice as your principle.

That is a non-emotional response to the dilemma. Of course, it's never like that in reality - and I would be as conflicted as anyone.

Edited by Leonardo
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Im 50...a wife would be a similar age....still young enough to fight for life..

My mum is 76, has emphysema...... cant do much for herself in a physical sense as she cant breathe too well.... Id save my mum.....(remember in this story...the wife was fairly safe anyway)

 

 

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Edited by seeder
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3 minutes ago, seeder said:

Im 50...a wife would be a similar age....still young enough to fight for life..

My mum is 76, has emphysema...... cant do much for herself in a physical sense as she cant breathe too well.... Id save my mum.....(remember in this story...the wife was fairly safe anyway)

I agree that in the context of the story, the choice to help his mother may have been "more correct" if she was elderly, and his wife was reasonably capable physically so able to clamber onto the roof without his help.

However, I was responding to the more specific dilemma where you can only save one or the other. I feel in that case, the responsible choice would be to save your wife - as heartless as that may sound for the mother.

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would the level of life insurance on your wife not help in making the choice  :P

 

kidding, for me the kids would be number one priority and losing their mother could damage for life.....so this would be a big deciding factor. If no kids then I would opt for mum every time as blood is thicker than water etc etc...

 

horrible situation...either way

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I'm not married or anything but I would probably pick my mom in such a situation because both my dad and I would be devastated if anything happened to her. He wouldn't be as upset if my husband died, unless I was. And if I had kids, I would just find them a really nice step-dad and never mention the fact that their grandmother was a champion swimmer in high school. Seriously though, what a horrible decision to have to make. But yeah, children and the elderly first as they are the least likely to make it on their own.

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Who has the most life insurance ?

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Well the most rational thing to do in that situation would be to save the youngest of the two.  From the point of view of the species. 

 

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Don't forget that the Chinese and Japanese, by and large, hold their elders in greater esteem than we do here.

Respect for ones elders and ancestors is promoted, encouraged and expected; from what I understand, many families have a small, ancestral shrine in their homes to honor their parents, grandparents and even great-grandparents. After all if it wasn't for that lineage than one wouldn't exist.

While it may seem rational, on a purely biological level, to save the youngest, humans usually have a greater tie to their parents than to their mates. A younger person probably has a better chance of getting to some modicum of safety than an elder and to be honest I am not sure anyone could really grapple with their conscious knowing they knowingly and deliberately made a choice let a parent die.

It is a hard thing to deliberate over but it is another case of "darned if you do and darned if you don't.".

I really do not think Mr. Fengshou made that decision lightly either.

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It sounds to me like he was trying to save everyone. He got his wife and kids onto the roof and then went to help his Mother. Are they thinking he should have stayed with them and not helped his Mother? 

Maybe I'm reading this wrong.

If it was a choice between his wife and kids...or his Mother, then I think he should have chosen his wife and kids. But I don't think it was a life or death choice for the wife and kids because it sounds like everybody survived. 

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"....vanished along with a bundle of cash."

I think this says it all. He definitely made the right decision.

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I think if he didn't even try to help his wife and kids to get up to the roof, and went straight for his Mother, I can understand the wife being upset. She would probably feel like he abandoned his family, and valued them all less than his Mother. I don't know how many kids he has, but assuming the wife would be able to get them all up on the roof by herself in time...that's a huge assumption.

If she disappeared with the bundle of cash, at least it didn't get washed away. They can always argue over it later...since they all survived.

Edited by ChaosRose
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It's important to note that the wife is not just a wife.  She is also a mother of your children and has a more direct impact on them the grandmother would.  To be fair however divorce rates being what they are would also play a role however uncertain what it is for that particular culture.  I think that from the perspective of the children the wife is probably the more correct choice however truthfully I don't think it matters since we all die anyway.  Whatever factors lead to naturally saving without thinking about it is the right choice since no decision is then made I say.

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Mum all the way!

Then again, I'm not married... and judging by one or two ex-girlfreinds, I'd probably have encouraged them to go for a "swim" anyway... :whistle:

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If my daughter had to choose...I would have lived my life, save the young.  If it was me to choose, my child would come first I would make sure she was safe.  Then I would see if I could save anyone else.

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I would pick wife. I'm pretty sure mom would hate me for saving her and not my wife 

(If I actually had a wife )

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I'd save my wife/husband if I had one. My mother is a rotten wench.

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Also, let's not forget...was the woman helpless?  Unless she was in a wheel chair she should have been helping to ensure they could save as many as they could.

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