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“ My Bucket List “


finkel

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This story packs a worldly punch

So I’m gonna build the foundation

I’m married since yr 2000 - I have 4 children 

To my own desire I’m faithful yet  like many a guy I still like to look at a

passing beauty & admire  but I’d not dishonor any more then that .

 

But sadly my wife developed a more lax attitude

she pounds down the drink and I've found  she will indulge in

other recreational drugs ,her personality is utter horror wile she is drunk .

Abuse is my food from her along with unfaithfulness that at first she kept hidden

then it came out clear as day .

In the last 6 years situations have occurred with men and one particular guy hanging on tight .

So my life has taken on a direction of disparaging thoughts that have a negative

daily mind set for me like a tooth ache .

I have felt all the emotions one can feel .

I became concerned of  emotional damage , I try to use logic to stay clear but

she is poisonous to my working glandular functions that eventually I notice messes

with the mind & body

 

One night about 3 months ago she called me from a bar and said I'm with a girl friend and we cant drive , so I go to pick up them up . As I pull up to the bar I see two woman kissing & sure enough it's my wife and the other chick . I'm not really shaken up by her actions any more .

So yeah I take the two back home & they start making out .

I feel nervous & think my wife is not faithful and I hold the torch for WHAT ??

So I decided wile I never asked for it nor wanted to drift.

Here in my presence is one a  guys “ My Bucket List “

Two naked woman

I figured my wife is testing me in a twisted way

But I've been put to hell for the last 6 yrs and felt like OK ** I'm game

So here is the mystery 

I was kinda nervous with so many thoughts &

the damage from mental abuse my body was not responding

I'm thinking what the **** this situation comes down the pike NOT to often

and my body is responding lack luster .

 

Then the women laid on her back fully nude and waited for me

I looked & got lost with her beauty

All of a sudden two popping sounds at the base of my lower brain the cerebellum area

almost felt as strong as a slap the the head . POP - POP

*Snip* ( Sorry to be blunt ) Yes “ My Bucket List “ was completed

 

So what was the POP along with the *Snip*

see I'm in my mid 50's so this response was like when I was 18 But I never

experienced a POP sound

 

There is a lot here and any view might help me grow

cause I am living

like I'm emotionally castrated

I’m suffering But I know the power

is still there .

Edited by Still Waters
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That popping sound was the death rattle of your integrity.

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Not sure of that - but could be the  glands of the brain

But being noble & being true to your wife even if she has fallen has  Integrity

as I see once I gave into what was put towards me  . A feeling of loss abounds 

like  the saying " can't bet em join em " is a loss of one's personal Integrity

 I don't think a marriage should get so imbalanced that what's right and wrong become

a blur  .

I have excepted my wife actions ,

Considered mine & feel no guilt under the circumstances 

But I do mis the last gasp of purity I had

even if it was just me holding the flag.

Integrity has value that once compromised is absorbed with

  logistical  consequences with a hope that life returns coefficient

Other that that one day sitting in an old age home  -  Bucket List 

 

Edited by finkel
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