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Parents urged don't pretend Santa is real


Still Waters

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Believing in Father Christmas was a central part of most of our childhoods, with our parents going to often elaborate lengths to make us believe in the magic. But now, they are being told to give it up.

Spinning stories about Santa risks undermining a child’s trust and is morally suspect, according to two experts.

Writing in the respected journal The Lancet Psychiatry, they argue: “If they (parents) are capable of lying about something so special and magical, can they be relied upon to continue as the guardians of wisdom and truth?”

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/parents-urged-stop-pretending-father-100323271.html

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Aww, come on. It's part of the magic of childhood. 

I remember when I was asked why parents do this. I said sometimes it's nice to do something for someone else...and not take credit.

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Where does it stop?  What about the tooth fairy?  Facts of life (no longer the stork bringing the baby)?

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10 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

What about telling children that God is real .........................................

I guess it's time for humanity to pull off that band-aid too.

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We pretended that Santa (and the tooth fairy) were real till our daughter was about 6. She figured it out pretty quick though, and we didn't push it. Their Great Gandpa dresses up every year to get money for a Leukemia charity, and so they know "That" Santa isn't real. My 5 year old son also seems to understand they aren't real, but he is good to run with the gag to get some coins, or gum, under his pillow, and presents that don't have a family member's name on them. It's all in good fun, I think. 

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I would tend to agree, although I do find it a bit curious that there is no problem with pretending that any fictional character in children's books and shows are indeed fictional, however Santa, for some reason, gets an exception to this.

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I agree.

When is it ok to lie?

Should we teach that it is ok?

 

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59 minutes ago, sees said:

 Facts of life (no longer the stork bringing the baby)?

 

That is why teenage pregnancy went up.

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But what about a child's.....

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There's plenty of ways to stimulate a kid's imagination without deception.

Enough already.

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7 minutes ago, aquatus1 said:

I would tend to agree, although I do find it a bit curious that there is no problem with pretending that any fictional character in children's books and shows are indeed fictional, however Santa, for some reason, gets an exception to this.

Perhaps because he is based on a real person, St. Nicholas, a Turkish monk born approximately 280 A.D.. The original intention was simply to express kindness and generosity. Little by little over the centuries he has evolved into what he is today. 

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23 minutes ago, Sakari said:

I agree.

When is it ok to lie?

Should we teach that it is ok?

 

That's one way to look at it, but equally we could say, to get by in life a child must work out what is true and what is a lie ...... for himself! The Santa deception could be viewed as a delightful first lesson in working things out for yourself.

edit to add: and what about the psychological damage to the child who is the only one in the class whose parents have told him Santa won't be coming to him because he doesn't exist!

Edited by ouija ouija
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I think too much is being made of this. It's up to parents whether they want to do the Santa and Tooth Fairy thing. And I really doubt there are any psychological problems associated with having received surprise presents under the tree or money under the pillow.  

Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are "alive" in the spirit of giving and not expecting to bask in the light of self-satisfaction that gratitude gets you. 

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Honestly telling your kids Santa is real or not real has almost no affect on them overall.

If you're a good parent then it will work out

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Santa Claus may not be real, but Father Christmas, the personification of the true meaning of the season: eating, drinking and making merry, most certainly is real :P 

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1 hour ago, Still Waters said:

Believing in Father Christmas was a central part of most of our childhoods, with our parents going to often elaborate lengths to make us believe in the magic. But now, they are being told to give it up.

Spinning stories about Santa risks undermining a child’s trust and is morally suspect, according to two experts.

Writing in the respected journal The Lancet Psychiatry, they argue: “If they (parents) are capable of lying about something so special and magical, can they be relied upon to continue as the guardians of wisdom and truth?”

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/parents-urged-stop-pretending-father-100323271.html

Oh the memories of when my mother went to such extents to have me believe. I was about 4 when I really  figured it all out that she and my father were lying to me. Santa was more Father Christmas not like the fakes at the stores or reindeer and elves, so my father explained. Mom went to such extents, Santa gifts were unwrapped and coded, the fire place shield was removed and cookies gone etc. They placed their gifts under the tree then Santa came after I went to bed.

 That Christmas when I was 5, I asked for all kinds of expensive gifts and the ones hardest to find from Santa and the things I really wanted on the list to my parents for them and my grandparents to get. My mother freaked at my requests to Santa and asked why I was so greedy that year. I said I know those are the things you can't afford or get. I was being as deceitful to them as they were to me since I saw evidence they were doing it and I had older kids explain it and said to go with it for extra toys!

I don't know how they managed to do it that year, but I got everything from other relatives and them to be from Santa! I confessed in the morning that I was so disappointed that they lied to me and I couldn't trust them. Mom explained the best time of her life was when she believed in Santa and she just wanted me to have that fun feeling.My father never believed since his parents never did a Santa thing, but he went along with her because it was cute when I was a toddler. No more Santa after that LOL.

 

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16 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

That's one way to look at it, but equally we could say, to get by in life a child must work out what is true and what is a lie ...... for himself! The Santa deception could be viewed as a delightful first lesson in working things out for yourself.

edit to add: and what about the psychological damage to the child who is the only one in the class whose parents have told him Santa won't be coming to him because he doesn't exist!

I'm not agreeing it causes psychological issues. This is just part of the pussification of America...

Nothing wrong with telling your children " Santa is coming " while they are growing up. Or Easter Bunny, etc.
But, when they get that age and ask " Is Santa real ", that is where the choice is made.

I would never say to take away childhood fantasies. That is just wrong. Just saying don't be that " I want Him to believe for as long as possible " and lie to them.
 

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23 minutes ago, Sakari said:

 

That is why teenage pregnancy went up.

Really?  I thought kids these days get streetwise pretty fast these days.

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........... and another thing: what about the child whose parents announce that Santa won't be coming anymore because she and her sister are too old for that sort of thing now? The older child (by four years), announces to the younger child that she(the older one), has had four more visits from Santa! She takes great delight in laughingly repeating this over and over again.

Yes, I was that younger sibling and it still rankles! :lol:

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1 minute ago, sees said:

Really?  I thought kids these days get streetwise pretty fast these days.

I was being facetious, although that may have been true at one time.

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25 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

Perhaps because he is based on a real person, St. Nicholas, a Turkish monk born approximately 280 A.D.. The original intention was simply to express kindness and generosity. Little by little over the centuries he has evolved into what he is today. 

...and now Santa (i.e. commercialism) has eclipsed Jesus being born that day!  Does Jesus need to get American Express to appeal to us???

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22 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

That's one way to look at it, but equally we could say, to get by in life a child must work out what is true and what is a lie ...... for himself! The Santa deception could be viewed as a delightful first lesson in working things out for yourself.

Yeah, the birth of skeptism not to trust anyone :(

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I still vividly remember making cookies with my nephews and nieces, and talking about Santa, and me explaining the whole time thing by saying that Santa actually visits every house simultaneously, so he is actually only visiting one house the entire night (it's from a comic book series called "Fables").  The children nodded in understanding, but later on, I was confronted by my mother, who exclaimed "How could you lie to the kids like that?"

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1 minute ago, sees said:

...and now Santa (i.e. commercialism) has eclipsed Jesus being born that day!  Does Jesus need to get American Express to appeal to us???

Sorry man, but Jesus was never that big a part of the holiday for some of us.

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