Starlight32 Posted February 19, 2017 #1 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Hi I have posted on here about my boyfriend who passed recently. I know this isn't anything to do with anything I've experienced but I've been asked if I'd like to put a photo of me and my boyfriend in the coffin (he's having a cremation) I'm not sure what I feel about this I want to feel he's with me forever but not sure this is creepy and could maybe cause things to happen? I know it's up to me but people's opinions help me as I'm not thinking clearly right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted February 19, 2017 #2 Share Posted February 19, 2017 (edited) Sorry to read of your loss. These are just my thoughts and I could be wrong. I can understand your reservations/conflict about such an act. When this was suggested to you, what was your immediate reaction? Often this is quite revealing and pertinent. There must be other ways of symbolising feeling he is with you forever, i.e. I don't regard burning a photo of you both the best way of doing this. Burning something is used as a way of getting closure... If you have doubts about doing this then, on some level (i.e. subconsciously) it may well have repercussions if you go through with it. You have voiced your fear/thought that it may cause 'things to happen'. Why risk it? If you are not sure about this then it comes across as not the right thing to do. Perhaps you want to be convinced here though. I hope you get more feedback here to help you decide what to do. I wish you well. Edited February 19, 2017 by sees 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldrover Posted February 19, 2017 #3 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Starlight, firstly I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened to your boyfriend. And of course you're not thinking straight at the moment, you must be going through hell. As for the photo, really it won't, can't, make anything happen. It's a gesture, and one that really only matters in how it makes you feel. If it's something you think you'd like, do it without any worries, if it isn't something you're comfortable with or don't think is the right thing for you both, as in it doesn't fit with the way you two were together, then don't do it. It's your decision, make it without any concerns other than if you think it's right for you or not. I wish you all the best at the moment. Take care. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camella Posted February 19, 2017 #4 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Also my condolences. I agree with sees and oldrover . Trust your gut. I don't think anything will happen even if you do it against your own reservations, but the fact that you have reservations tells me that it is not the right thing for you. But maybe you'll change your mind at the last second, then feel free. Trust your instinct! It's out of love that you do it or don't do it. I don't believe there is a wrong choice if love is involved. With thoughts of peace and courage for you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldrover Posted February 19, 2017 #5 Share Posted February 19, 2017 13 minutes ago, Camella said: Also my condolences. I agree with sees and oldrover . Trust your gut. I don't think anything will happen even if you do it against your own reservations, but the fact that you have reservations tells me that it is not the right thing for you. But maybe you'll change your mind at the last second, then feel free. Trust your instinct! It's out of love that you do it or don't do it. I don't believe there is a wrong choice if love is involved. With thoughts of peace and courage for you. Far better put than I could manage, well said. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolguy Posted February 20, 2017 #6 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Sorry for ur loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight32 Posted February 20, 2017 Author #7 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Thank you very much for your kind words. Wasn't sure if you'd get my reply if I posted on other place. Myimd won't rest I'm looking for answers ill never find. He had butane gas found in him. He was on anti depressants and *spam filter*. He had bad childhood. When I stayed over the next day I'd feel extremely lethargic and drowsy I could keep my eyes open watching a film. Had to have coffees. I also smelt a plastic type smell on his fore head and cushions. I have heard recently he used to inhale gas. I've tried to find a forum on this. I'm so very very mixed up and heart broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted February 20, 2017 #8 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I didn't know about this, i.e. that he inhaled butane gas - called huffing (I just discovered). Here is a link that might be helpful. http://www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts/drugs/inhalants.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight32 Posted February 20, 2017 Author #9 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Thank you will read. Yes unfortunately I had no idea though I've been wondering if way I was feeling down to the gas in the air. Spent a lot of time in his room. Windows never got opened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight32 Posted February 20, 2017 Author #10 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I have experienced few things I puy on my previous post. Just now I was sitting on my bed anxious whether to put phot of us on or not then I suddenly felt calmer after I thought no I don't think he'd like that and it's like we're burning together which is horrible feeling to me and it's like he's gone forever with me. Which is strange. I want to feel he's with me still. Not like that along with me. I looked at the sky and saw what looked like a dog I looked closer to see it looked like a pug (my boyfriend knew I loved them and had jokes about them) my heart lept and I felt much calmer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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