Bored in the U.S.A.

[jimrich]

On 3/5/2017 at 2:36 PM, quiXilver said:

I often work for weeks on end, and then have some weeks off. 

I'm either immersed in work, or I'm immersed in my home life and cultivation of my inner life.

When bored, turn within and see how much silence you can muster, then how long you can abide in it... no boredom guaranteed.

A thing I came across in psychotherapy is about choosing to be happy which most folks do not believe is possible.  Making the decisicion to be happy in any situation gets easier and easier once seen how simple and intelligent it is to let your self be happy or at least neutral while waiting in line or suffering boredom, etc.  If interested, google: Happiness is a choice 

Edited March 16, 2017 by jimrich

[quiXilver]

Radical acceptance of what is... and release of all else is a very potent cultivation process.

[darkmoonlady]

I don't believe that boredom is emotional pain, while people may busy themselves to avoid dealing with inner pain in some circumstances sometimes boredom is just that, boredom. If one were constantly  busy then that may be a way of not feeling alone for some people but then the activity would be the patch for the pain and not the boredom. 

Edited March 16, 2017 by darkmoonlady

[sees]

9 hours ago, jimrich said:

A thing I came across in psychotherapy is about choosing to be happy which most folks do not believe is possible.  Making the decisicion to be happy in any situation gets easier and easier once seen how simple and intelligent it is to let your self be happy or at least neutral while waiting in line or suffering boredom, etc.  If interested, google: Happiness is a choice 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/09/scientific-proof-that-you_n_4384433.html

[sees]

1 hour ago, darkmoonlady said:

I don't believe that boredom is emotional pain, while people may busy themselves to avoid dealing with inner pain in some circumstances sometimes boredom is just that, boredom. If one were constantly  busy then that may be a way of not feeling alone for some people but then the activity would be the patch for the pain and not the boredom. 

Yes I was making the distinction with this (in a reply to a post by jimrich - disagreeing with him). Notably that not being preoccupied can sometimes leak/expose our ongoing state (in my case painful current issues) but that this is not what boredom is.

[jimrich]

14 hours ago, quiXilver said:

Radical acceptance of what is... and release of all else is a very potent cultivation process.

Yes radical acceptance of what is can seem to temporarily side step or eliminate repressed buried pain but I've found it necessary to expose and VENT my bottled up pain - hence no more BOREDOM!  The other thing that reduces pain is to see who you are and when you realize that you are not an individual who seems to carry pain both the individual and it's pain DISSOLVE. You are not what you have projected = a body, it's ego and the ego's pains!   Any of these, acceptance or Self-realization can take away boredom and the pain that causes it and you will be totally free of boredom, irritation, impatience, fatigue, dullness, self pity, etc. You will be at peace in any and all situations!

By the way, this is not a contest to prove who is right here or who has the REAL answer.  These are just my OPINIONS...............

Edited March 16, 2017 by jimrich

[Podo]

Boredom works weirdly for me. When I'm in the city in my normal day-to-day life, I can get bored pretty easily. Conversely, when I'm out of the city hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, foraging, etc, I can do the same thing with iron focus for hours or days without wavering. Sit in a tree for 36 hours waiting for a deer to walk by to shoot with an arrow? No problem. Sit in my boat and fish for three days? Awesome. Read an article on the internet that would take more than five minutes? Not a chance!

I've no idea why this is, but it's a constant.

[jimrich]

6 hours ago, sees said:

Yes I was making the distinction with this (in a reply to a post by jimrich - disagreeing with him). Notably that not being preoccupied can sometimes leak/expose our ongoing state (in my case painful current issues) but that this is not what boredom is.

Please explain what boredom is - to you or in some factual way.  This is not a contest to prove who is right or has the only correct answer here.  Exactly what is boredom in your own experience of it.  Use as many synonyms as you can think of and examples of your own experiences of being bored and how you get out of boredom. 

[jimrich]

8 hours ago, darkmoonlady said:

I don't believe that boredom is emotional pain, while people may busy themselves to avoid dealing with inner pain in some circumstances sometimes boredom is just that, boredom. If one were constantly  busy then that may be a way of not feeling alone for some people but then the activity would be the patch for the pain and not the boredom. 

I'd like to see your definition of boredom in terms other than "it's just boredom".  Use a lot of synonyms and phrases to demonstrate what boredom is to you and how you deal with it or eliminate it.  Please be specific and detailed in telling us what boredom is TO YOU.

the OP states: " the feeling is all too familiar for everyone."  If it's so familiar to everyone, why is it so difficult to define ["While not that easy to define"]... [(the most common definition for boredom is "the state of being bored"),] LOL, that's not a definition!   "dealing with boredom remains a constant challenge for most of us."   LOL, a challenge for most of you maybe but it's not a challenge for me now that I know how to reduce or eliminate the low-levels of pain that underlies boredom.  Standing in line or being stuck on the freeway is a piece of cake when you know how to reduce the nagging low-levels of PAIN & irritation that produce your boredom and can stand or sit there in pleasant comfort while everyone around you is b****ing or looking BORED (hurt).  So please, define boredom for us in your own words and/or experience.

BTW, this is not a contest to prove who is RIGHT or who knows best or any other absolute value judgment, it's just a set of opinions.

[jimrich]

54 minutes ago, Podo said:

Boredom works weirdly for me. When I'm in the city in my normal day-to-day life, I can get bored pretty easily. Conversely, when I'm out of the city hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, foraging, etc, I can do the same thing with iron focus for hours or days without wavering. Sit in a tree for 36 hours waiting for a deer to walk by to shoot with an arrow? No problem. Sit in my boat and fish for three days? Awesome. Read an article on the internet that would take more than five minutes? Not a chance!

I've no idea why this is, but it's a constant.

Here's how that works for me and then I'll drop the matter.......

When I used to be in situations that did NOT intensely engage my mind or attention, i would feel bored or become aware of subtle inner discomfort, anxiety, unhappiness, fears, loneliness, sadness, anger, irritation, impatience and on and on all of which can be summed up as low-level pain or hurt coming from an array of past unresolved pain or hurt.  I said I used to get bored because things are different now.  But going back to the story....... This boredom or sense of discomfort or low-level pain does not appear when I am mentally or emotionally engaged, just like you, with some interesting activity such as hiking, camping, bird or girl watching, playing music, cooking, reading  (I don't fish or hunt!) and/or anything that takes my mind/attention OFF OF this ever present low-level of pain, ill at ease or boredom (which is no longer here now).  If and when I do find myself falling into boredom, I examine what unresolved old pain is here and deal with it using some emotional tools I learned in therapy and spirituality.  The low-level pains I still have are pretty easy to dissolve with a little humor or love.  I find it easy to make jokes about standing in line or being stuck on the freeway while others are getting angry and BORED!  They just don't realize that their own inner, hidden, old pain is hurting them and not the waiting line or stopped traffic and that they are now in touch with the low-level pain that is always there for most "normal" folks.  This will be obvious to anyone willing to HONESTLY look at their own, actual experience and acknowledge the tiny layer of hurt or irritation that is ALWAYS inside of us - unless it's somehow resolved or healed. 

Some "awakened" or "saved" folks rarely experience boredom because much if not all of their inner, low-level pain has been removed or resolved and they are totally comfortable and happy, thus not prone to boredom (low-level pain) like all of those who have not been "saved" nor "awakened"  to Reality.  Meditation can dissolve old, low-level, inner pain.  Finding god eliminates this hidden, bottled up pain/boredom.  Yogis do not suffer with low-level pain/boredom.  If you don't like the word "pain", substitute words you are comfortable with like: ennui, apathy, doldrums, world-weariness

 

Edited March 16, 2017 by jimrich

[darkmoonlady]

Well, Jim, pain is a constant physical issue with me which doesn't have anything to do with boredom. If I find myself bored, my brain is unable to think of something interesting to do. Or too many things and I can't decide. I don't really need to give you any adjectives as my view of boredom is mine. No need to defend it. I will say this, I sometimes find boredom inspiring as I end up painting or drawing something new or starting a new project. 

 

[sees]

2 hours ago, jimrich said:

Please explain what boredom is - to you or in some factual way.  This is not a contest to prove who is right or has the only correct answer here.  Exactly what is boredom in your own experience of it.  Use as many synonyms as you can think of and examples of your own experiences of being bored and how you get out of boredom. 

I only glimpse it since I quickly turn the situation around....  So it is largely being unstimulated, dull, devoid of ideas or what to do.

Clearly this is at odds with my creative mindset so I quickly change gear!

[Podo]

2 hours ago, jimrich said:

Here's how that works for me and then I'll drop the matter.......

When I used to be in situations that did NOT intensely engage my mind or attention, i would feel bored or become aware of subtle inner discomfort, anxiety, unhappiness, fears, loneliness, sadness, anger, irritation, impatience and on and on all of which can be summed up as low-level pain or hurt coming from an array of past unresolved pain or hurt.  I said I used to get bored because things are different now.  But going back to the story....... This boredom or sense of discomfort or low-level pain does not appear when I am mentally or emotionally engaged, just like you, with some interesting activity such as hiking, camping, bird or girl watching, playing music, cooking, reading  (I don't fish or hunt!) and/or anything that takes my mind/attention OFF OF this ever present low-level of pain, ill at ease or boredom (which is no longer here now).  If and when I do find myself falling into boredom, I examine what unresolved old pain is here and deal with it using some emotional tools I learned in therapy and spirituality.  The low-level pains I still have are pretty easy to dissolve with a little humor or love.  I find it easy to make jokes about standing in line or being stuck on the freeway while others are getting angry and BORED!  They just don't realize that their own inner, hidden, old pain is hurting them and not the waiting line or stopped traffic and that they are now in touch with the low-level pain that is always there for most "normal" folks.  This will be obvious to anyone willing to HONESTLY look at their own, actual experience and acknowledge the tiny layer of hurt or irritation that is ALWAYS inside of us - unless it's somehow resolved or healed. 

Some "awakened" or "saved" folks rarely experience boredom because much if not all of their inner, low-level pain has been removed or resolved and they are totally comfortable and happy, thus not prone to boredom (low-level pain) like all of those who have not been "saved" nor "awakened"  to Reality.  Meditation can dissolve old, low-level, inner pain.  Finding god eliminates this hidden, bottled up pain/boredom.  Yogis do not suffer with low-level pain/boredom.  If you don't like the word "pain", substitute words you are comfortable with like: ennui, apathy, doldrums, world-weariness

 

This sounds very buddhist. Are you buddhist by any chance? The idea of life being differing levels of suffering is iconic of the buddhist belief system, as does the idea of pleasurable activities being primarily pleasurable due to their ability to distract us from our suffering, whatever form they take.

If you haven't explored buddhism, maybe take a look at it, as it is very close to what you've said here. I think it makes sense, too; the idea of boredom being some kind of symptom of a person having to deal with their own brain seems reasonable. I'm sure not everyone's boredom comes from that, but it doesn't seem a stretch to say that most boredom does. Truth hurts, as it were, and everyone has moments of weakness.

I don't know how much I agree with this, mind you, but it's certainly an interesting perspective.

[Podo]

2 hours ago, darkmoonlady said:

Well, Jim, pain is a constant physical issue with me which doesn't have anything to do with boredom. If I find myself bored, my brain is unable to think of something interesting to do. Or too many things and I can't decide. I don't really need to give you any adjectives as my view of boredom is mine. No need to defend it. I will say this, I sometimes find boredom inspiring as I end up painting or drawing something new or starting a new project. 

 

I like the idea of boredom as a creativity catalyst

[jimrich]

3 hours ago, darkmoonlady said:

Well, Jim, pain is a constant physical issue with me which doesn't have anything to do with boredom. If I find myself bored, my brain is unable to think of something interesting to do. Or too many things and I can't decide. I don't really need to give you any adjectives as my view of boredom is mine. No need to defend it. I will say this, I sometimes find boredom inspiring as I end up painting or drawing something new or starting a new project. 

 

This is not about defending anything!  it's just a discussion; a sharing of experiences and opinions; a "talk".  So boredom inspires you to do something to get away from boredom or discomfort or what I am calling pain, which need not always be physical pain.  Why not simply sit there in your boredom and see what it is all about rather than run from it?  Being bored is being hurt in some way so the natural tendency is to escape that pain and I see no problem in escaping pain but perhaps boredom is a friend in disguise trying to tell us something. Hmmmmm maybe the message is: go paint or do something new!   OK, that works for me!  Right now I'm so bored I could just die so I'll just choose to be happy again.... and ------WHOA, here it is!  (No more boredom!)

[jimrich]

3 hours ago, sees said:

I only glimpse it since I quickly turn the situation around....  So it is largely being unstimulated, dull, devoid of ideas or what to do.

Clearly this is at odds with my creative mindset so I quickly change gear!

It's just semantics but I see you saying that it HURTS so you quickly look for an escape from that PAIN or discomfort.  Do you see that this discussion is all about semantics?  My semantics vs.your semantics?   What you call: "unstimulated, dull, devoid of ideas or what to do" I would say FEELS like low level pain to me.   How dose boredom FEEL?   How does i FEEL to be: unstimulated, dull, devoid of ideas or what to do?  For me, all of that FEELS painful or at least uncomfortable.  If you look closely at what folks write or say, they very rarely say how something FEELS but can offer tons of explanations, thoughts, reactions, speculations, judgements, opinions, descriptions, solutions, and take positions on stuff but very rarely say how they FEEL about anything which might be why the dictionary has so little to say about boredom since the FEELING is so vague or too personal to get into.  When folks around me get bored, the first FEELING they show is anger (This is just wrong, dammit!), or resentment (Why the H....is this happening to me?) and sometimes  hopelessness (This line is never going to move) and maybe even rage (I'll make these fing cars move - HONK! HONK! HONK!)  the FEELING of sorrow might appear during boredom (Weeping.. I'll never get home at this rate!) boredom could feel like fear (Dad will kill me for getting nothing done!).  Boredom is about unwelcome FEELINGS and many of us were never taught how to identify nor express our FEELINGS about things and especially about boredom.  But, I would never turn to someone stuck in traffic and say, "So how do you FEEL?"   They'd most likely hit me because most folks do no KNOW HOW to say what they feel and resent being asked questions of any kind.

Edited March 16, 2017 by jimrich

[sees]

46 minutes ago, jimrich said:

It's just semantics but I see you saying that it HURTS so you quickly look for an escape from that PAIN or discomfort.  Do you see that this discussion is all about semantics?  My semantics vs.your semantics?   What you call: "unstimulated, dull, devoid of ideas or what to do" I would say FEELS like low level pain to me.   How dose boredom FEEL?   How does i FEEL to be: unstimulated, dull, devoid of ideas or what to do?  For me, all of that FEELS painful or at least uncomfortable.  If you look closely at what folks write or say, they very rarely say how something FEELS but can offer tons of explanations, thoughts, reactions, speculations, judgements, opinions, descriptions, solutions, and take positions on stuff but very rarely say how they FEEL about anything which might be why the dictionary has so little to say about boredom since the FEELING is so vague or too personal to get into.  When folks around me get bored, the first FEELING they show is anger (This is just wrong, dammit!), or resentment (Why the H....is this happening to me?) and sometimes  hopelessness (This line is never going to move) and maybe even rage (I'll make these fing cars move - HONK! HONK! HONK!)  the FEELING of sorrow might appear during boredom (Weeping.. I'll never get home at this rate!) boredom could feel like fear (Dad will kill me for getting nothing done!).  Boredom is about unwelcome FEELINGS and many of us were never taught how to identify nor express our FEELINGS about things and especially about boredom.  But, I would never turn to someone stuck in traffic and say, "So how do you FEEL?"   They'd most likely hit me because most folks do no KNOW HOW to say what they feel and resent being asked questions of any kind.

No you have got me wrong at the first hurdle.  Being unstimulated is very far from being in any pain....it's being in a state of too much of nothing! I am not in denial here.  Just giving you a truthful account.  Your experience/associations are different from mine.  Both are valid.  Maybe we're too different.

I have reached saturation point on this topic, i.e. I am not sufficiently interested to continue.  I have said all that I can on it. So I will now unfollow this thread.

Edited March 16, 2017 by sees

[StarMountainKid]

Can we become comfortable in our boredom? Boredom can be considered benign inactivity. It can be an opportunity to listen to ourselves. In boredom there is only me alone, so why not take advantage of the moment?

[EnderOTD]

This must be a thinly veiled thread about ADD/ADHD.