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Im in love with someone not that attractive


Lele

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41 minutes ago, spartan max2 said:

Physical attraction is not everything but it still is a factor. Otherwise the guy is no diffrent then a close freind 

You should be close friends first and if you fall in love you will be attracted physically when that happens you have the perfect relationship that outlives old age impotence and disease.

Quote

The third big takeaway from their research was that those who considered their spouse a “best friend” boasted the highest levels of happiness — in fact, the well-being benefits were twice as large for those couples. This makes sense, given that previous research has shown that close relationships are crucial for long-term well-being.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/09/married-people-happier_n_6436420.html

 

Edited by Dyna
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11 minutes ago, Dyna said:

You should be close friends first and if you fall in love you will be attracted physically when that happens you have the perfect relationship that outlives old age impotence and disease.

 

Considering your partner your "best freind" does not mean that you were close freinds first. 

And this is irrelevant since if you were freinds first or not isn't relevant to if you found the person attractive or not. You could think your freind was cute

Edited by spartan max2
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2 hours ago, Dyna said:

Just because something is not real aka a movie does not mean it can't have a lesson.

You clearly did not get the point, in the end he understood his shallow search by looks in searching only looks he found zero love. He learned a lesson.

I just wonder with so many opposing my view how many have long term close relationships. Shallow is the word today. 

You missed it.     It did not find him zero love.   It actually found the one he loves.   Without the physical attraction, he never would have found her.  

 

 

This really is a no brainer.

"

The third big takeaway from their research was that those who considered their spouse a “best friend” boasted the highest levels of happiness — in fact, the well-being benefits were twice as large for those couples. This makes sense, given that previous research has shown that close relationships are crucial for long-term well-being.

Edited by Myles
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5 hours ago, Myles said:

This really is a no brainer.

Lol I agree but not the way you see it. Considering my own credentials I think I will stick with my own interpretation.I have an A.S. degree in psychology and I am old and I have experience  But you have it your way dear.

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5 hours ago, Myles said:

You missed it.     It did not find him zero love.   It actually found the one he loves.   Without the physical attraction, he never would have found her.  

 

 

This really is a no brainer.

"

The third big takeaway from their research was that those who considered their spouse a “best friend” boasted the highest levels of happiness — in fact, the well-being benefits were twice as large for those couples. This makes sense, given that previous research has shown that close relationships are crucial for long-term well-being.

Best friends with benefits.:huh:

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All I know is an old man told me once to only marry someone you can stand to live with, everything else becomes irrelevant if you don't like living with them because you can't change people yet everyone tries.

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38 minutes ago, Dyna said:

Lol I agree but not the way you see it. Considering my own credentials I think I will stick with my own interpretation.I have an A.S. degree in psychology and I am old and I have experience  But you have it your way dear.

I don't really like throwing credentials around in arguments because I don't think it ever proves anyone's point.

But since you brought it up , I'm actually employed as a therapist and licensed and I still don't agree with your interpretation :P 

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Guest MamaMia1981

This whole tread reminds me of something I read somewhere....

'No matter how good looking they are, someone, somewhere, is tired of their ****.'

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10 hours ago, Dyna said:

Lol I agree but not the way you see it. Considering my own credentials I think I will stick with my own interpretation.I have an A.S. degree in psychology and I am old and I have experience  But you have it your way dear.

I have some years and experience behind me too.   From my own experience, I remember being very physically attracted to a certain girl.   I asked her out and we became great friends and have been married for over 23 years now.  We never would have fallen in love if not for the physical attraction we both had.   Physical attraction is certainly not all that is needed, but it is a big part of it.  

With "an A.S. degree in psychology", I would think you could handle other people's opinions a little better than you do.  

 

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6 hours ago, Myles said:

With "an A.S. degree in psychology", I would think you could handle other people's opinions a little better than you do.  

In what way? I said time and time again we all have our opinion we don't have to agree. I don't believe I ever show disrespect for other I give my own opinion. Opinions given from experience certainly carry more weight or should with anyone.

 

6 hours ago, Myles said:

We never would have fallen in love if not for the physical attraction we both had. 

People certainly can fall in love and build physical attraction after, I am glad you are friends with your mate this is key to a lasting love.

 

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17 hours ago, NightScreams said:

All I know is an old man told me once to only marry someone you can stand to live with, everything else becomes irrelevant if you don't like living with them because you can't change people yet everyone tries.

:lol:

 

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15 minutes ago, Dyna said:

In what way? I said time and time again we all have our opinion we don't have to agree. I don't believe I ever show disrespect for other I give my own opinion. Opinions given from experience certainly carry more weight or should with anyone.

 

People certainly can fall in love and build physical attraction after, I am glad you are friends with your mate this is key to a lasting love.

 

It's possible that I took your comments the wrong way.    I apologize for it.

I took your following statement as condescending. 

"I have an A.S. degree in psychology and I am old and I have experience  But you have it your way dear."

 

I agree that people can fall in love and build physical attraction after, but it is the exceptions.

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7 minutes ago, Myles said:

It's possible that I took your comments the wrong way.    I apologize for it.

I guess the anonymity creates such, I have enjoyed our conversation hon and hope the OP gets plenty to think on between all of us contributors. i hope she finds what you and I have, true friendship true love secure in knowing if your face disintegrated you would still be just as strongly loved...can't beat having such companionship through life.

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I'm glad you two have patched it up. I hate to see couples arguing default_hug-transparent.gif

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Follow your heart . I have been in several relationship's because I was sexually attracted to the girl's they turned out to be just that just a sexual relationship with no love . I have fallen in love with a girl that was very sexy and she was gorgeous , she turned out to be the worst person on this planet . Next time I'm falling in love with her heart not her looks.

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Sounds like ur all ready in love , life is to short what if u blow this guy off and hes the one and then u find a guy who is better looking but cheats on u and treats u like crap, im sure this guy will treat u like a queen, stop judgeing by looks

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