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ASK ME ANYTHING!


Mark One

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Due to the overwhelming success of my status update - For a limited time only...Ask Me Anything - I felt it only fitting to start a new topic along the same lines.  Simply post your question here and hope that someone can reply with an appropriate answer.  Simples!

If you think you have the answer - Quote the question and Post your answer.

Edited by Big Mirk
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Question:

what do you mean "someone" ? You have to answer them, I do not want a substitute answerer. 

Ok, I know i answered tc, but that`s because you were having your monthly bath.

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At what age is it advisable to start walking my pet cabbage?

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9 minutes ago, freetoroam said:

Question:

what do you mean "someone" ? You have to answer them, I do not want a substitute answerer. 

Ok, I know i answered tc, but that`s because you were having your monthly bath.

An ask me owt, free for all.  If you come across this topic & see a question which you have a witty or ideal answer for - quote `n` post it madam.

Edited by Big Mirk
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5 minutes ago, freetoroam said:

At what age is it advisable to start walking my pet cabbage?

I`m no expert but its probably best to get an answer from your doctor.

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How can coffee shops charge £2 for a Tea? All they need to do is put a tea bag in hot water. How can either one teabag, or a cup of hot water, cost £2?

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Why, when they close railway lines for construction work or redecoration, and everyone has to get on a Bus on which no Heavy Luggage can be carried, and no refreshment services of hot and cold snacks are available, do they always say that it is due to "improvements"? 

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How are the proprietors of Mecca Bingo still able to get away with it?

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4 minutes ago, Manfred von Dreidecker said:

How can coffee shops charge £2 for a Tea? All they need to do is put a tea bag in hot water. How can either one teabag, or a cup of hot water, cost £2?

Because punters like yourself fall for it every time.

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3 minutes ago, Manfred von Dreidecker said:

Why, when they close railway lines for construction work or redecoration, and everyone has to get on a Bus on which no Heavy Luggage can be carried, and no refreshment services of hot and cold snacks are available, do they always say that it is due to "improvements"? 

The word - improvment - in this case refers to a streamlining of your daily intake of bacon butties, kebabs, cappo coffees with 5 sugars, vodka miniatures etc.  So its not the transport which is improving but infact your health.

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4 minutes ago, Manfred von Dreidecker said:

How are the proprietors of Mecca Bingo still able to get away with it?

Because placing a stake of £1 and then winning 18p is far more addictive than one imagines.

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Why don't buses ever run on time? 

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Will D*nald Tr*mp get to the Moon by 2020? 

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57 minutes ago, freetoroam said:

At what age is it advisable to start walking my pet cabbage?

As long as your cabbage is old enough to tolerate the leash walks are fine.

 

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36 minutes ago, Ruby04 said:

Why don't buses ever run on time? 

A late bus pays for its self and gives the bus firm an excellent profit too.  How you may ask?  Read below.

Ever noticed those sponsor logos along the sides of the bus for food and drink?  Well those advertisements act like subliminal messages to the frantic few who are wondering where the bus is.  Once youve finally reached your destination you`ll crave that energy drink or that new burger deal as advertised along the bus.  Happy days for you and laffy(laughing)  days for the bus firm who cash in - ka-ching!

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5 minutes ago, acute said:

Why are Kansas and Arkansas pronounced differently?

Because that is how God chose it to be.

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15 minutes ago, oldrover said:

Actually, I think we really should have an Agony Column here. 

There is a Doc Mark, column somewhere - that is if hes still in business.

Edited by Big Mirk
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57 minutes ago, oldrover said:

Why can't I ever catch a fish?

Forget bait and use hate.

Play anything from Justin Beebers back catalogue through a speaker at high volume over the lake.  Take a large net and wait.

 

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Edited by Big Mirk
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Washing machine are vastly powerful multi-dimensional devices that always teleport one left sock every wash. Where do these socks go?

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7 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Washing machine are vastly powerful multi-dimensional devices that always teleport one left sock every wash. Where do these socks go?

I wen to the launderette (small local village family business in South Wales) about three years ago to collect my laundry. The woman behind the counter looked at me and ran into the back to get the owner, she came out very red faced and said 'I'm really sorry but your washing is in Belgium, or Holland, or somewhere in that area'.  

Edited by oldrover
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15 minutes ago, Big Mirk said:

Forget bait and use hate.

Play anything from Justin Beebers back catalogue through a speaker at high volume over the lake.  Take a large net and wait.

 

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I'm on it. 

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3 hours ago, freetoroam said:

At what age is it advisable to start walking my pet cabbage?

Eleventy barrels 

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