Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -

Why do we follow unspoken group rules?


Claire.

Recommended Posts

The right thing to do: Why do we follow unspoken group rules?

How you dress, talk, eat and even what you allow yourself to feel - these often unspoken rules of a group are social norms, and many are internalized to such a degree that you probably don't even notice them. Following norms, however, can sometimes be costly for individuals if norms require sacrifice for the good of the group. How and why did humans evolve to follow such norms in the first place? A new study from the National Institute for Mathematical and Biological Synthesis explores this question, shedding light on the origins of human cooperation.

Read more: Phys.org

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What human drives are inherent and which are learned?  That the word human has yet to be satisfactorily defined makes me skeptical of such studies.  Whenever we are studied like guinea pigs for the purpose of "optimizing group behaviors," an important question to ask: for whom is such behavior optimal?

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't follow those rules, never have. :)

I'm called a "rebel" by some in that regard. When they "Zig" I "Zag" ;)

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

deviance (social deviance)

(noun) “[A] violation of contextual, cultural, or social norms”.

http://sociologydictionary.org/deviance/

This is where deviance derives from. Not because some are deviant as a characrer defect but because society cannot handle differences in others.

Edited by I hide behind words
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

47 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

What are these rules and why must I be a sheep to them?

Just be glad you're not a horse, or I might cull you from my herd.  

For example, one mare of mine bonds better with people than other horses.  Why is that bad?  It isn't necessarily, but, since horses are nicest to one another when they're paired, she'll soon be sold for her jealously bullying my dear, sweet yearling.  Moreover, as she can only force the rest of the herd to tolerate her, she will lose the only other horse that sort of likes her-- her daughter.

The point of the above?  Without moralizing, I provided an instance where a self-serving creature undoes itself by being poorly adapted socially.

Edited by aka CAT
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What are these rules and why must people dictate them to me? As if to make me a sheep ready for slaughter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People need other people to survive. Anyone that doesn't believe that is deceiving themselves. Over time as we evolved those that didn't fit in or even try to get along were cast out and their genes didn't survive. Eventually this sort of thing became partially an instinctive thing in our species. People that are born without most of these basic inherited instinctive understandings are often called Autistic. They don't have normal social skills and that causes people to be very uncomfortable around them unless they understand the problem and sympathetic to their unfortunate plight. In tougher times these these people didn't survive. Since we bow protect them in the future this problem will slowly become more common as will many problems that in the past were not survived. 

We are ALL individuals and all to a more or lesser extent walk to the beat of a drummer that only we hear but we also feel the call to fit in so we don't have to be alone. Some seem to be almost slaves to this and then some of us are a LOT less bothered by not fitting in so well. 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, DanL said:

People need other people to survive. Anyone that doesn't believe that is deceiving themselves. Over time as we evolved those that didn't fit in or even try to get along were cast out and their genes didn't survive. Eventually this sort of thing became partially an instinctive thing in our species. People that are born without most of these basic inherited instinctive understandings are often called Autistic. They don't have normal social skills and that causes people to be very uncomfortable around them unless they understand the problem and sympathetic to their unfortunate plight. In tougher times these these people didn't survive. Since we bow protect them in the future this problem will slowly become more common as will many problems that in the past were not survived. 

We are ALL individuals and all to a more or lesser extent walk to the beat of a drummer that only we hear but we also feel the call to fit in so we don't have to be alone. Some seem to be almost slaves to this and then some of us are a LOT less bothered by not fitting in so well. 

Your using autistic individuals as an example is okay, only that none of them choose to be as are they and some overcome the limitation. 

17 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

What are these rules and why must people dictate them to me? As if to make me a sheep ready for slaughter.

Best of all is our being true to ourselves in a way that benefits others. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

51 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

What are these rules and why must I be a sheep to them?

The rules are simple. Try to be similar to others in your group. One of our most basic instincts is what I think of as the "stranger danger reflex." In times past people were not in general very nice to other people that were not part of their group. It paid to look like your other members of your tribe so that you were instantly identified as belonging. While that is less important now people still have both that urge to fit and the "stranger danger reflex." 

Whether we like it or admit it or not when we meet a stranger we start looking for things we might have in common with them and the more differences there are the less likely we are to have an instant comfort with them. All to many people though have an almost instant dislike for anyone that is very different from them. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, DanL said:

The rules are simple. Try to be similar to others in your group. One of our most basic instincts is what I think of as the "stranger danger reflex." In times past people were not in general very nice to other people that were not part of their group. It paid to look like your other members of your tribe so that you were instantly identified as belonging. While that is less important now people still have both that urge to fit and the "stranger danger reflex." 

Whether we like it or admit it or not when we meet a stranger we start looking for things we might have in common with them and the more differences there are the less likely we are to have an instant comfort with them. All to many people though have an almost instant dislike for anyone that is very different from them. 

Kind hearted people can differ from me greatly and I still like them; hence, insofar as people are considerate of me, I'm motivated to withhold judgement of them.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, aka CAT said:

Your using autistic individuals as an example is okay, only that none of them choose to be as are they and some overcome the limitation.

That was my point. They can't help it but nonetheless have a tremendously hard time fitting in to almost ANY group. I have great empathy for them and am not bothered by their social gaffs like some seem to be. On the other hand if you ACT like you are autistic and think that being rude is just your RIGHT, I might just stomp you as my right to express my displeasure with rudeness. In the end even autistic people can learn not to be rude. It just is harder for them. My brother was retarded and totally without filters and I have a couple of autistic cousins. It is a hard life and they do get in a lot of trouble with people that don't understand.

PS. I'm a kind hearted person but have no patience with people that chose to be rude. Then my kindness is pretty thin I'm afraid. 

Edited by DanL
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Acceptance.   

Think about it. :-) 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, DanL said:

That was my point. They can't help it but nonetheless have a tremendously hard time fitting in to almost ANY group. I have great empathy for them and am not bothered by their social gaffs like some seem to be. On the other hand if you ACT like you are autistic and think that being rude is just your RIGHT, I might just stomp you as my right to express my displeasure with rudeness. In the end even autistic people can learn not to be rude. It just is harder for them. My brother was retarded and totally without filters and I have a couple of autistic cousins. It is a hard life and they do get in a lot of trouble with people that don't understand. 

The blameless should never be punished, whereas it is owing to no disability that self-centered persons would sooner feign lameness than reciprocate courtesy.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, XenoFish said:

What are these rules and why must people dictate them to me? As if to make me a sheep ready for slaughter.

I got your back, man - from the article:

The study predicts a significant genetic variation in the ability of humans to internalize norms. In particular, under some conditions populations are expected to have a relatively small frequency of "over-socialized" individuals who are willing to make extreme sacrifices for their groups. Examples in today's society might be suicide bombers and other displays of extreme self-sacrificial behavior for the good of the group. Likewise, there are also "under-socialized" individuals—psychopaths—who are completely immune to any social norms.

Read more at: https://phys.org/news/2017-05-unspoken-group.html#jCp

:w00t:  JUST KIDDING!   Reading that made my head hurt but the article doesn't really specify individual rules.  It's about how groups modify their behaviors for the acquisition of common goals (I think) and how genetics may affect this process.  By their standards, you can consider yourself the OPPOSITE of the suicide bomber ;)   All kidding aside, even though statistical models really DO make my head hurt, this was an interesting study.  It makes me want to stay FAR away from a known Psychology/Sociology major who minored in math :P

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

37 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

I'm not a people person and I'm damn well not following the crowd. 

I'm not a people person really. I prefer the night and don't like crowds. I live in the woods and can go days without having to speak to anyone that isn't family. It is OK to be a loner or to be different but that doesn't mean that someone should be obnoxious. I know several people that can't seem to grasp that being polite is not being a sheeple. They have a tough life and are mostly greatly disliked and shunned. What I hate is when they then whine about people not being nice to them. I have no mercy for them. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can be the nicest person you could ever meet. But I will keep you at arms length. Too many bad experiences with people put me off socializing. Plus I didn't cater to the whims of fools. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, XenoFish said:

I can be the nicest person you could ever meet. But I will keep you at arms length. Too many bad experiences with people put me off socializing. Plus I didn't cater to the whims of fools. 

Ditto on all counts! Especially not suffering a fool very well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's the reason I stay away from all forms of social media, way to much stupidity for my liking. Too many sheeple. Too many special snowflakes, too many fools. When I was a kid I'd imagine what the future would be like, I like my imaginings better. The way the herd mentality has developed, no thanks. Nihilism makes more and more sense each day.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

In Management Theory this is a well known phenomenon and is referred to as "Groupthink". The Groupthink process is maintained by "Gatekeepers" and these are the people that you need to wheedle out of a business just the same as Luddites.

It leads to very poor decision making and acts as a barrier to evolving more productive practises.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Every society has rules. My porch/house is an unofficial gathering place here in Likely. In 2013 I counted 1,247 visits without incidence and have had at least 5,000 since. It's mostly a bachelour society.

  • No hard liquor.
  • No hard drugs.
  • Swearing to a minimum (unless it's pertinent to the story) .
  • Don't yell off the porch (unless it's at your dog for getting too close to the road).
  • Any violence and you serve a life time ban.
  • Don't bring a foul attitude.
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've got basically the same rules, Likely Guy, and always have. I've only had to exile maybe five people in my life. Put a few on time out though. :P

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

2 hours ago, XenoFish said:

I can be the nicest person you could ever meet. But I will keep you at arms length. Too many bad experiences with people put me off socializing. Plus I didn't cater to the whims of fools. 

Funny how even some of the nicest people become such complete jerks to others when they get behind the wheel of a car or get on the internet. Nothing specifically about you lol, just when any discussion of nice people come to play, I like to point out that even nice people are not actually nice. They usually have a lot of sincerity and generally polite, helpful...etc but a lot of circumstances and situations can bring out the reality.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Michelle said:

I've got basically the same rules, Likely Guy, and always have. I've only had to exile maybe five people in my life. Put a few on time out though. :P

That's why I've a;ways loved your spirit.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.