Are friends better for us than family?

[Still Waters]

The power of friendship gets stronger with age and may even be more important than family relationships, indicates new research by a Michigan State University scholar.

In a pair of studies involving nearly 280,000 people, William Chopik found that friendships become increasingly important to one's happiness and health across the lifespan. Not only that, but in older adults, friendships are actually a stronger predictor of health and happiness than relationships with family members.

https://phys.org/news/2017-06-friends-family.html

[quiXilver]

I'd say that depends entirely on the qualities of the family... and the friends.

 

In my case friends outweigh family by a factor of several tens of thousands.

This is not due to some impropriety, or lack on behalf of my family, but merely from the perspective of resonance and connection.

My friends resonate on levels that family does not.  There's no value associated with it, just the way it is for me.

 

 

as a child this mantra came to me and has resonated my entire life

"friends are the family that we find... the family we choose."

Edited June 6, 2017 by quiXilver
misspelled a werd

[Podo]

My family means nothing to me, because it's horrible and I stay as far away from it as I can. As such, I'd agree that friends are more important.

[+DanL]

Friends are there because of shared interests and common interests. Family is all to often just an accident of birth.  A really lucky family will later become friends but more often than not that doesn't happen. Part of the problem is that family relationships are based on childish needs and parental relations. It is hard later to undo that an reestablish a different relationship between equal adults. 

[glorybebe]

8 hours ago, Podo said:

My family means nothing to me, because it's horrible and I stay as far away from it as I can. As such, I'd agree that friends are more important.

Mine, too.  Family think they can say or do anything and you HAVE to forgive them.  Friends you get to choose to let in your life.

[Kismit]

I think the difference is that you would not allow non-family to behave the way some family do.

The recent events our family have gone through have shown me the need for family. It is sad that some people do not get the support from their blood ties that can be essential.

[jimrich]

In my experience, I've had infinitely better relationships with friends than many family members and it's still that way (I'm 79).  My friends were usually more loving, respectful, HONEST, compassionate and friendly than many folks in my own immediate family - most of all my own parents!  My siblings and I could have been best friends but our very inadequate parents could not model love and respect for us kids so we ended up being mean and hostile with each other and it's still like that even now!  We never got over the crippling emotional conditioning of our very shame-based parents!  Oh well, at least we have some friends now...........................

Edited June 9, 2017 by jimrich

[KNash]

My answer is going to be biased. I think relationships with both family and friends can be equally good, but personally, I've had better relationships with friends because there were a lot of issues with my family growing up. I don't think I had the opportunity to develop close and healthy relationships with my parents, but I never blamed them for it. Complicated situation, but I've found many supportive friends who I consider my family.