+susieice Posted June 26, 2017 #1 Share Posted June 26, 2017 I put this in this forum because to me, it shows how bizarre people are acting. I find this shameful. Someone needs to get out of the cemetery and find a real life. I feel so bad for this mother. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3116669/Council-chiefs-remove-headstone-four-year-old-boy-s-grave.html 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taun Posted June 26, 2017 #2 Share Posted June 26, 2017 (edited) I wish I could say I was surprised by this... But with the sort of "stuff" happening lately in the world - I'm not... Disgusted - but not surprised... Edited June 26, 2017 by Taun 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted June 26, 2017 #3 Share Posted June 26, 2017 I am surprised at the lack of compassion for a mother who lost her young child. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+susieice Posted June 27, 2017 Author #4 Share Posted June 27, 2017 (edited) That stone was not cheap to have made or engraved. I think it's a beautiful memorial to a very young child who lived a sadly sickly life. The article says she had it for his 7th birthday and he was 4 when he passed. It probably took that long to raise the money. The person who complained should be ashamed of themselves and the cemetery that removed it should be also. She should take this one to a lawyer, and any judge that would tell her it was unfit should be ashamed of themselves also. I showed this article to people at work and they all love the stone. They couldn't believe someone would complain about it. If you look at the pic of the gravestone, there are different kinds of stones around it. Some are just simple wooden crosses. Now how is this "not in keeping" with the cemetery. I know I'm going to be sorry I asked this, but just what is a cemetery supposed to look like? Edited June 27, 2017 by susieice 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Posted June 27, 2017 #5 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I feel like we are missing a piece of this story. There are other "modern" headstones in the cemetery. This one was not offensive in any way that I can tell. Messing with a grave stone is a big deal. I'm interested to hear what brought this about. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taun Posted June 27, 2017 #6 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I have a feeling this might be a case of the management caving in to a "squeaky wheel" in order to avoid confrontation... They should have had the courage to tell the complaining party to have a bit of compassion and mind their own freakin' business... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Posted June 27, 2017 #7 Share Posted June 27, 2017 10 minutes ago, Taun said: I have a feeling this might be a case of the management caving in to a "squeaky wheel" in order to avoid confrontation... They should have had the courage to tell the complaining party to have a bit of compassion and mind their own freakin' business... Something is missing here. I can't imagine them just removing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted June 27, 2017 #8 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I'm not sure if anyone else noticed this.. but the story is from 2015. I could have sworn it was discussed here previously, but I couldn't find the topic it was in. What happened was that Jo opted to have Max buried in the adult section of the cemetery amongst relatives instead of having him buried in the childrens section of the cemetery. The problem was the shape of the gravemarker being not ok in the adult section- it would have been ok in the childrens section of the cemetery. From there.. Jo contracted the stoneworker and had them make and deliver the stone without prior contacting the cemetery folks to see if the gravestone design was ok to put there and without being fully aware of the cemetery guidelines. Stoneworker who delivered the stone also didn't follow the rules properly of application process and following the regulations. There may have been complaints about the gravemarker. Gravemarker was removed. Since then there has been some petitioning to have the gravemarker put back on the grave, and the articles about it float around once in a while. There has been no mention in updates if Jo has considered or opted to get a different marker that is approved and properly permitted on the grave. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted June 29, 2017 #9 Share Posted June 29, 2017 ...as if losing her son wasn't enough. People suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cluey Posted July 7, 2017 #10 Share Posted July 7, 2017 That is so sad.........the family had every right to chose any headstone for her son......as far as i know there is no law on legality on headstones........he was only 4 years old......what is wrong with people..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted July 7, 2017 #11 Share Posted July 7, 2017 2 hours ago, cluey said: That is so sad.........the family had every right to chose any headstone for her son......as far as i know there is no law on legality on headstones........he was only 4 years old......what is wrong with people..... Jo did have the right to choose any headstone- but she didn't have the right to have it placed in the adult section of the cemetery against the cemetery procedures. How the stoneworker went about placing the headstone was outside the cemetery procedures as well. I don't think there are laws on the legality of headstones themselves specifically in law over there. But there are laws that state what a cemetery may or may not include in their rules, and the cemetery does have a legal right to have approval on what headstones are or are not allowed in that cemetery, or what or what isn't allowed in different sections of the cemetery. A lot of cemeteries are kind of like HOA's, and have the legal right to do so. You get to buy your house there, but there are rules and regulations about what color your house can be, what ornaments can be in your yard, ect. You have to do things like get approval if you want to put a bench in your yard, and the contractor doing it has to file the install permit to install the bench. Likewise in a cemetery- you get to buy your grave there, but the Cemetery Association gets to lay down the rules and regulations, and enforce them. It may be a worthy point to note. Max passed away in 2013, and would have had a gravemarker of some sort placed at that time. Cemeteries usually don't just let graves sit unmarked- some sort of marker gets placed. This headstone was a memorial headstone Jo ordered up in 2015. It's not uncommon for a final gravestone to be ordered and placed later in this fashion- gravestones aren't typically inexpensive objects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cluey Posted July 7, 2017 #12 Share Posted July 7, 2017 so basically after all that.your point is her son's head stone should have cost much money..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted July 7, 2017 #13 Share Posted July 7, 2017 14 minutes ago, cluey said: so basically after all that.your point is her son's head stone should have cost much money..... Well no, money wasn't my point at all, but thanks for skipping over the whole legality of the situation part of my commentary. You had questioned the legality of such actions, and I gave an answer to that. I brought up the final paragraph of the memorial gravemarker because cemeteries do mark graves prior to final gravestone placement. This is not uncommon, because gravestones can be expensive, and quite often people do take the time to read the cemetery contract and rules before ordering the final gravestone. Jo had two years to read the cemetery contract on Max's grave. She didn't fully do so, and hired a contractor that also didn't fully do so. I may seem a bit harsh in keeping to the legalities of this.. but I'm rather well acquainted with various cemetery rules and regulations. And various upsets and such that go along with that. It seems sad or cruel for Jo and Max- but there are also many other people in that cemetery too who's griefs and respects need to be acknowledged. This is a large part of the reason why cemeteries have rules and regulations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.O'N Posted July 7, 2017 #14 Share Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) It is still silly for removing it though regardless of the rules i mean come on, it is a headstone, and it was only ONE complaint anyway, the headstone didnt even stand out that much. Surely the people who are in charge have better things to do? better things to sort out instead of that poor kids headstone. Edited July 7, 2017 by Baldylocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted July 7, 2017 #15 Share Posted July 7, 2017 15 minutes ago, Baldylocks said: It is still silly for removing it though regardless of the rules i mean come on, it is a headstone, and it was only ONE complaint anyway, the headstone didnt even stand out that much. Surely the people who are in charge have better things to do? better things to sort out instead of that poor kids headstone. But it may not have been only one complaint- honestly, that part of the story has been rather shrouded.. to use the pun. There may or may not have been complaint(s) of other grave-owners/visitors. The cemetery has not officially stated they got complaints or not, and rather refer back to the problems with contract rules. The complaint part was largely brought up by media. I keep up with some cemetery news, and have been keeping tabs on this one for a couple of years now. I tend to keep my eyes more on aspects of law breaking with cemeteries, and folks that do those things.. but along with that comes having to know what is legal and a lot of other stuff cemeteries are allowed in instances like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.O'N Posted July 7, 2017 #16 Share Posted July 7, 2017 12 minutes ago, rashore said: But it may not have been only one complaint- honestly, that part of the story has been rather shrouded.. to use the pun. There may or may not have been complaint(s) of other grave-owners/visitors. The cemetery has not officially stated they got complaints or not, and rather refer back to the problems with contract rules. The complaint part was largely brought up by media. I keep up with some cemetery news, and have been keeping tabs on this one for a couple of years now. I tend to keep my eyes more on aspects of law breaking with cemeteries, and folks that do those things.. but along with that comes having to know what is legal and a lot of other stuff cemeteries are allowed in instances like this. Well whatever it was, it is pathetic in my opinion. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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