DA: Derailers Anonymous Thread

[kmt_sesh]

19 hours ago, ChaosRose said:

Clearly, conspiracy sites should be giving equal time to the mole people. 

Clearly it's a conspiracy.

[kmt_sesh]

19 hours ago, ShadowSot said:

I like spiders too.

Dude, that's not possible. Spiders are terrifying.

[kmt_sesh]

19 hours ago, ChaosRose said:

They're just so leggy. 

Agreed. And it's not the sexy kind of leggy. If a supermodel had eight legs, I'd be terrified of her, too.

[kmt_sesh]

19 hours ago, Aquila King said:

I had to write a paper on these cooks in sociology class:

Pray to the almighty magic toaster.

Aw, gees. Thanks for the merry chuckle. Do these people understand that they're bug-nuts crazy?

But I like the robes. Where can I get a robe?

[kmt_sesh]

19 hours ago, ChaosRose said:

They're getting something out of it. Maybe it's just acceptance. 

 

What I don't get is, they prefer to pray to a magic toaster instead of the well-established Christian God? Or Jewish or Muslim God?

[ShadowSot]

7 minutes ago, kmt_sesh said:

Dude, that's not possible. Spiders are terrifying.

Maybe. But they make cool webs and eat other bugs. 

[kmt_sesh]

11 hours ago, tcgram said:

Getting my list together for ingredients for Christmas cookies.  So far I've decided to make sugar cut out cookies, snickerdoodles, white chocolate macadamia, chocolate chip, melted snowman cookies, and white chocolate no bake peanut butter cookies.    I think that will be enough for the neighbors and coworkers.    

And fellow UM posters. Don't forget fellow UM posters!

Yummy!

[ShadowSot]

3 minutes ago, kmt_sesh said:

What I don't get is, they prefer to pray to a magic toaster instead of the well-established Christian God? Or Jewish or Muslim God?

Too mainstream 

[kmt_sesh]

2 hours ago, ShadowSot said:

Having a couple of cups of coffee, then going to start turning pens. 

 

I'm glad you specified "pens." By the end of that sentence I was worried I was going to see "tricks."

I might've thought: Shadow's gonna earn some extra cash for the Holidays.

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

7 minutes ago, kmt_sesh said:

Aw, gees. Thanks for the merry chuckle. Do these people understand that they're bug-nuts crazy?

But I like the robes. Where can I get a robe?

Well my one cost me $40 from an adult site, since no shops had any summer ones and it still has sleeves that are too long

[XenoFish]

8 minutes ago, kmt_sesh said:

What I don't get is, they prefer to pray to a magic toaster

I am your toast and savior, may the holy butter bless thee.

[kmt_sesh]

I logged on to see that four pages or so had been added since last night. I have to admit, when I'm part of a lively thread that has grown that much since the day before, even as a Mod I often don't bother to go back and read every post. Too much work.

But this one is different. I don't care how many pages have grown since my last post. In this one I make sure to read every single post to catch up. That's why when I start posting again, some of my posts are replies to ones that are already old. I genuinely enjoy this thread, and all of you who are a part of it. 

Half the time I nearly pee myself laughing.

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

Just now, kmt_sesh said:

I logged on to see that four pages or so had been added since last night. I have to admit, when I'm part of a lively thread that has grown that much since the day before, even as a Mod I often don't bother to go back and read every post. Too much work.

But this one is different. I don't care how many pages have grown since my last post. In this one I make sure to read every single post to catch up. That's why when I start posting again, some of my posts are replies to ones that are already old. I genuinely enjoy this thread, and all of you who are a part of it. 

Half the time I nearly pee myself laughing.

I know what you mean about the almost peeing from laughing, I've had tears running from laughing

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

5 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

I am your toast and savior, may the holy butter bless thee.

All hail the buttery toast, all rub butter on the toast

[rashore]

Maybe a late night snack and blessings count tonight....

 

 

[ShadowSot]

13 minutes ago, kmt_sesh said:

I'm glad you specified "pens." By the end of that sentence I was worried I was going to see "tricks."

I might've thought: Shadow's gonna earn some extra cash for the Holidays.

I only did that once. 

 Maybe twice. 

[kmt_sesh]

Now that I've showered you all with praise (which was utterly sincere), I must break for a short while to consume sustenance.

Be back soon. Do me proud.

[ShadowSot]

I found a fellow willing to sell me bog oak from Yugoslavia, which happens to be where my grandmother was from. That'll make a nice gift to my aunt, uncle, and father. Though my uncle would quibble about how old it is. 

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

3 minutes ago, kmt_sesh said:

Now that I've showered you all with praise (which was utterly sincere), I must break for a short while to consume sustenance.

Be back soon. Do me proud.

See you when you return our fave Mummy have you seen this? https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-middle-east-42364085

2 minutes ago, ShadowSot said:

I found a fellow willing to sell me bog oak from Yugoslavia, which happens to be where my grandmother was from. That'll make a nice gift to my aunt, uncle, and father. Though my uncle would quibble about how old it is. 

That's a lovely gift to give.

[XenoFish]

13 minutes ago, Ruby04 said:

All hail the buttery toast, all rub butter on the toast

Now I must join the holy cat.

[ShadowSot]

Oh, Kmt wants dirty jokes. 

 Did I tell the milk cow joke already?

 

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

5 minutes ago, ShadowSot said:

Oh, Kmt wants dirty jokes. 

 Did I tell the milk cow joke already?

 

Do I want to know lol

[ShadowSot]

Just now, Ruby04 said:

Do I want to know lol

It's an old joke, and according to many people everyone was much more polite and such back in the old days. 

[ShadowSot]

So there was this old, dirt poor family that on an old dirt farm where they raised, well. Dirt. 

 

 It was the farmer, his wife, their three sons, and a milk cow. 

 

 Now, their livelihood depended on this milk cow. It produced the finest milk in the county. 

 

And then one morning the farmer woke up to see the cow was dead. Overcome by grief he hung himself 

 

Then the mother woke up, seeing the milk cow was dead and her husband hung, she threw herself into the river to her death. 

 

The oldest son wakes up, sees his father's dead and his mother's dead and the milk cows dead. And there standing nearby is a female leprechaun. 

 

 "Having a bad day?" she asks. 

 

"I'd say so." he replies. 

 

"Well I tell you what, make love to me 10 times and I'll bring everyone back to life. Even the milk cow. 

 

The boy, thinking it's a good idea, tries but doesn't make it. And she strikes him dead. 

 

The middle son wakes up, sees everyone dead and there stands the leprechaun. 

 

"having a bad day?" says she. 

 

"It seems so," he replied. 

 

"Well I'll tell you what I'll do. Make love to me ten times in a row, and I'll bring everyone back to life. Even the milk cow." 

 

The son looks at the leprechaun and sees she's not unappealing and makes a go at it. 

 

And fails. The leprechaun strikes him dead. 

 

Finally, on into the afternoon the youngest son wakes up. He sees everyone is dead, and there  stands the leprechaun. 

 

"It seems like you're having an awful day here lad." 

 

"I guess, he replies. 

 

" Well I'll make a deal with you. Make love to me 10 times and I'll bring everyone back to life. "

 

The youngest son considers. 

 

" And what about 15 times? "

 

The leprechaun laughs. 

 

"Well if you can do it 15 times I'll bring everyone back to life, even the milk cow. And I'll fix up this old farm house." 

 

"That sounds nice, but what if we do it twenty times?" 

 

Chortling the leprechaun tells him "Well if you can do it 20 times, I'll bring everyone back to life, even the milk cow. And I'll fix up this farmhouse into a mansion. Heck, I'll even through in my pot of gold. You'll be set for life!" 

 

The boy pondered for a moment. Then said"That sounds fine, and we can start in a minute. But I have to ask, what happens if you die?" 

 

The leprechaun bursts put laughing, and says "Don't be daft boy, I wo die!" 

 

"Why not," says the boy. "The milk cow did." 

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

I wasn't expecting that