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Still Waters

Why is it nice to be nice?

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a lot of things seem to contradict Darwin's theory.  but looking  at people's behavior today, it does seem like it is being eliminated. 

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Posted (edited)

^ Nail polish (in the link photo) is getting elaborate these days! ;)

I've found out in my considerably lengthy lifetime, that if you are nice to people, they return the gesture.

Edited by .ZZ.
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Because it costs nothing, but it just might save the world ......

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Just now, Essan said:

Because it costs nothing, but it just might save the world ......

but it never does, doesn't  it. i can't think of single example. however i can think of many where nice people get screwed for their niceness.

 

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21 minutes ago, Still Waters said:

So how could kind behaviour have evolved – and why was it not eliminated by natural selection?

kindness within homogeneous groups would have been beneficial to that group. Perhaps natural selection and survival of the fittest, had group as well as individual characteristics.

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The easiest answer is survival. If you're kind to others there's less of a chance of getting killed. Plus it act as mutually assured survival. Meaning if people are kind to each other they live long enough to spread there genetic codes. 

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Ever consider that being nice isn't nice at all?

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Will Due said:

Ever consider that being nice isn't nice at all?

 

 

the-15-best-rick-and-morty-quotes-138299

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41 minutes ago, aztek said:

but it never does, doesn't  it. i can't think of single example. however i can think of many where nice people get screwed for their niceness.

 

Confirmation bias?

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"Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly and most underrated agent of human change" (Bob Kerrey)

Be a part of it.....;)  color.gif

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, aztek said:

but it never does, doesn't  it. i can't think of single example. however i can think of many where nice people get screwed for their niceness.

 

And if those people who were screwed, hadnt been nice,  maybe the world would not be around today ;)  

Put it another way - if Xi Jinping and Trump and Merkel and Putin are nice to each other, what is the worst thing that can happen? 

Or, if you are nice to everyone you meet, and that are nice to everyone they meet, and so on ......    The world is ours.  What happens to it is up to us. 

Edited by Essan
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Posted (edited)

actually it is the other way around,some may still be alive if they were not so nice. just recently we had 3 porn actress killed a man who was helping them with their stranded car. not too long ago another couple was killed when they stopped to help someone on the road, by the  guy they were helping, also some time ago a person helping to push disabled car was ran over and killed. and stories like that too common. 

Edited by aztek

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It doesn't pay to be nice.

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Isn't it just an aspect of being social animals?  Having mirror neurons we empathise with others.

I don't think kindness is as wide spread an attribute as this suggests.  I'd say people are rather selectively kind.

As far as natural selection goes.  Once you've been kind to someone in need they'll tend to remember the act and be willing to return the favour should you ever be in need.  Having less down time makes for more productive human.

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Just now, XenoFish said:

It doesn't pay to be nice.

especially on the road in nyc, i can't count times, when i let someone merge in front of me, only to see them stop, block entire line, and waiting to make a u turn.  

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The thing is you never know who your being nice too. They might just be taking advantage of you or genuinely appreciate it. So if you're going to be nice to someone, keep it small. Small kindness isn't a bad thing, but people are like cats 'feed' them once and they'll keep coming back.

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cats i do not mind feeding, or any animal . people otoh, give them an inch they'll take a mile. 

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4 minutes ago, aztek said:

cats i do not mind feeding, or any animal . people otoh, give them an inch they'll take a mile. 

Pretty much the same thing I was saying. 

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, XenoFish said:

It doesn't pay to be nice.

Being nice can be done for its own sake, i.e. it is 'reward' in itself - the feelgood factor.

There is scope for being abused e.g. if someone is a people pleaser.  It 'pays' to have boundaries. ;)

Edited by sees
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1 hour ago, aztek said:

actually it is the other way around,some may still be alive if they were not so nice. just recently we had 3 porn actress killed a man who was helping them with their stranded car. not too long ago another couple was killed when they stopped to help someone on the road, by the  guy they were helping, also some time ago a person helping to push disabled car was ran over and killed. and stories like that too common. 

It's all a matter of what you choose to focus on....

Here are some of the worthwhile things that are achieved when people are nice....people making a difference to our world  color.gif

https://www.positive.news/

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Hee hee. No one's motivated by kindness it's the chemical rush you're seeking. The perceived kindness flicks that mental switch releasing feeling good chemical. So it amount to kind acts of addiction. 

Xa1IUYP.jpg

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It's more about making the world a better place....of course it has a feel good factor but it's cynical to put kindness down to getting a chemical kick!  Ha!  As if!!  headshake.gif

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1 hour ago, XenoFish said:

Hee hee. No one's motivated by kindness it's the chemical rush you're seeking. The perceived kindness flicks that mental switch releasing feeling good chemical. So it amount to kind acts of addiction. 

Xa1IUYP.jpg

The very fact that we get a chemical reward demonstrates to me at least, that in an evolutionary sense, that kindness was/is a very important process. The body doesn't reward bad, stupid behaviour.

Thats not to say that bad stuff doesn't happen to good people, but we shouldn't reduce something down to its most morose, negative, or unflattering perspective.

 

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5 hours ago, XenoFish said:

It doesn't pay to be nice.

Just scrolling down, and this caught my attention To me there are two basic reasons why people are nice Either to gain a positive feedback for themselves by being nice OR simply to do something good for another person. No other reason required.

  The first isn't really selfish it is an ethical/moral position You do what is right because it is right and in doing so you avoid guilt, conscience, and negative feedback loops.

I would have thought that one of life's very first lessens is that it almost always pays you to be nice and almost  always hurts/costs  you to be nasty,  but this would depend, in part,  on what made you internally happy.  eg giving your teddy to someone or taking theirs from them :)  

Most of us a rewarded for nice behaviour as kids, and punished for nasty behaviour.  This constructs internalised  emotional responses, values and behaviours, tending us towards niceness " 

I knew a child who was rewarded for nasty  behaviour and punished  for nice. He grew up a s a teen with a rap sheet 6 inches thick and commited suicide aged 26 

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