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Blackleaf

The lightning-fused lovers

30 posts in this topic

FLAGSTAFF, AZ: A pre-med student from the University of Arizona was looking to score big with his date on a Friday night. Determined to put the girl in the mood, he drove her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon which overlooked the city of Tucson. They walked to an open knoll where they could see the city lights.

Overcome by the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they stripped down, made a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making love. The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder inside them excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of lightning, they never looked up to see the charred remains of once great trees.

Their idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during the warm desert nights. With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck the high point on the knoll, which happened to be the pre-med student's ass, and sought the path of least resistance --- straight down! Incredibly, he survived, but was in excruciating pain. The heat of the lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the lovers were now stuck together like a pair of dogs. The girl, unfortunately, did NOT survive the lightning strike!

When the student looked down into the vacant eyes of his girlfriend and realized she was dead, his immediate repulsion caused him to jerk away from her, which of course, he couldn't! A wave of pain and nausea made him vomit into the girl's face and open mouth! Heaving only caused more pain and repeated vomiting until he finally passed out.

Attracted by the smell of "food," a bear found its way to the Siamese lovers and began to lick semi-digested pizza and buffalo wings from the dead girl's face. The student came to, but when he saw the bear, there was little he could do but lay there silently in fear. To his horror, the bear became dissatisfied with just a lick and started to eat the girl, loudly crunching her facial bones only inches from his ear. The bear also tasted the student, scraping the back of his skull with its teeth, before moving on.

Around mid-morning a group of junior girl scouts, up for a fun weekend camp-out, arrived at the campsite where the pre-med student's car was parked. It was only a matter of minutes before three screaming girls discovered the student, who had regained consciousness several times in the night and had managed to drag himself and the partially-eaten girl about 20-feet.

Doctors managed to "successfully" separate the student from the corpse, but Mr. Happy looked like a small piece of cauliflower in its flaccid state. The first hint of arousal resulted in so much pain, that the student was unable-- -and unwilling- --to achieve an erection. Future surgeries may produce a reasonably functioning penis, but the student's family jewels, referred to by the doctors as the "scrotum mass," are irreparable.

Although most Darwin Awards are supposed to be won posthumously, we think this guy deserves consideration since he successfully removed himself from the gene pool.

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OMFG that puts a REAL cramp on your day(and night wink wink)

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fantastic original.gif we should have a thread devoted to all of blackleaf's incredible stories, so we can find them all in one place to read them later original.gif

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that.....sucks

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I really, really hope that isn't true.

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dammit blackleaf, it annoys the hell outta me when you post 5 or 6 topics in a row, at least wait a few days to allow people to discuss them, otherwise you're just pushing things onto page 2, and plenty of these threads will go undiscussed

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that's pretty scary. atleast i learned my lesson of never having sex outside when it's raining.. because i don't want to wind up having a bear munch on me for a midnight snack and die while inside my true love's body and et cetera.

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The story is false check it out at snopes.com

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I guess his is fake a story about the evils of getting wild in the woods laugh.giflaugh.gif

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There's bears in the desert?

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I really, really hope that isn't true.

727726[/snapback]

It's not, I read it on snopes a while back. happy.gif

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Good thing it's not true, that's really really disgusting. disgust.gif

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I love making love when it's raining and even more when it's outside a restaurant(at night) of course! blush.gif

It's really exciting when you know theres people around

lol

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Well I'm just glad that wasn't me and my girlfriend on that night. (If it was true that is)

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No, this is fake!! that is why they call it a Urban Legend!

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I never said I believed it. I said if it happened for real.

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Yeah, sounds like a real 'c*** and bear' story if ya ask me...

Sorry...I meant 'c*** and bull'. grin2.gif

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Thats kinda sick but also funny at the same time, I mean, a Girl Scout troup finding them? How classic! laugh.gif

But, however, I highly dought this story.

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First of all, allow me to explain Arizona's geography to you....

Mt. Lemmon DOES NOT overlook Tucson...I mean even if you stood atop the mountain and looked in the general direction(because the damned distance is so great) you couldn't even see the outside highway.

Secondly, would somebody please do me the favor of explaining just exactly how far Flagstaff is from Tucson(aproxx. a three to four drive while driving eighty mph)

Now last but certainly not least...

It's not, I read it on snopes a while back.

Almost every folklorist I know(including my professor on the subject) has said that believing anything the Mikkelsons, or their site have to say is the first sign of chronic ignorance.

Just think on this; I was given a 'F' on a report I turned in for using information off their site, and the exact wording in the teacher's comments were "If you want to tell people what they want to hear, go to snopes again. If you actually want to dissect an urban myth, use sources that know what they're talking about!"

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SilentScream, you can have my children!

Besides, folklorists, there's a lot of journalists who hate snopes for all the people they deliberately misinofrm to the point of them being worse off than people who never heard the story at all. Click a search on google for snopes, and see how many journalists have online entries about their personal frustrations trying to correct people who got their facts from snopes.

And let's not get on a tangent about how many internet regulator groups and anti-defemation rallies want snopes taken off the web for their blatantly racist and culturally intolerant behavior. Not to mention that girl who was killed by someone getting her IP off the snopes forum when they were passing it around like candy.

The only reason to go to snopes is that if you're into racist jokes, it's a better site than somethingawful.com... otherwise, try to actually persue sources on the subject matter.

I also like that you have such good insight on Arizona. You from here?

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Not to mention that girl who was killed by someone getting her IP off the snopes forum when they were passing it around like candy.

What's this? I haven't heard of this.

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SilentScream, you can have my children!

Uhhh...I can? Well now I'll be speaking with my doctor bout this...

Besides folklorists, there's a lot of journalists who hate snopes for all the people they deliberately misinofrm to the point of them being worse off than people who never heard the story at all. Click a search on google for snopes, and see how many journalists have online entries about their personal frustrations trying to correct people who got their facts from snopes.

Yes I know all about that...

I also like that you have such good insight on Arizona. You from here?

I was, and thank god I'm not anymore.

With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck the high point on the knoll, which happened to be the pre-med student's ass, and sought the path of least resistance --- straight down!

Okay since I overlooked this in my first post allow me to say something now...

The electricity from the bolt would have spread through him(him not being properly grounded) and left through her...

Incredibly, he survived, but was in excruciating pain. The heat of the lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the lovers were now stuck together like a pair of dogs. The girl, unfortunately, did NOT survive the lightning strike!

She would have had the highest chance of survival and though it would have charred and melted their flesh and the condoms, it would not have fused them together.

Now last but hopefully least...

The bear would have been repulsed by the smell of the natural lubricants from their bodies along with their sweat, and even if the bear did stumble across the two of them it would have mawled the med-student, while leaving the chick alone. Not to mention Arizona as a whole is mostly too bloody hot!!

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I have one comment for that story. Ouch.

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that story's sick

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ew... THE DARWIN AWARDS is a fun book...some of the stories are quite disturbing but then i hear them elsewhere like this one...but its fun to read all of the idiotic things poeple did.... original.gif

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