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Bone_Collector

Hiker

35 posts in this topic

I couldn't find it on the net or anywhere else, so I'll put it my own words...

One dark night a young guy in his early twenties was driving along the looney roads of his city's outskirts in his brand new car; he was enjoying every moment of his long private drive. All of a sudden, he spots a hiker holding a small brief case, standing in front of a grave yard asking for a lift. The hiker was a tall dark guy in a dandy black suit with a matching tie; he was lean but had a very muscular frame and appeared to be in his late forties. The young guy slows down and asks him to get in; the hiker promptly thanks him and gets into the car.

Curiosity gets the better of the young guy and a conversation between the two starts...

Young Guy : what are you doing at this part of the night dressed like this in front

of a graveyard?

Hiker : I usually spend my day time in the graveyard and return to the city

late at night.

Young guy : *laughs hard* You gotta be kidding man! Why do you do that?

Hiker : *smiles*

The young guy plays an old Elvis tune on his deck and the conversation between them continues...

Hiker : wonderful, isn't it?

Young guy: yeah

Hiker : I and my wife used to dance to this tune.

Young Guy: used to? Don't you dance any more?

Hiker : No

Young guy : why?

Hiker : death

Young guy : I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Hiker : that's alright.

Young guy : how long has it been?

Hiker : couple of weeks.

Young guy : It must've been tough

Hiker : it is

Young guy : how did she die?

Hiker : who?

Young guy : your wife

Hiker : why are you killing her? She's hale and healthy, fit and absolutely

fine!

Young guy : but, but ... you just said...

Hiker : I wasn't speaking of her death; I was speaking of mine.

Young guy : *laughs hysterically* now, you HAVE a sense of humor, don't you?

Hiker :*smiles*

Young guy : so mister ghost, what do you guys do on weekends, do you go to

movies, do drugs, girls and stuff? * pokes the hiker with his elbow*

Hiker : not exactly, we just hang around here and there.

Young guy: aww, come on! Cut the crap man, your little joke is really getting

stale. Hey btw, can you disappear?*laughs*

Hiker : people think ghosts are creepy monsters which can take any shape

and form and haunt deserted places and a whole lot of

mumbo jumbo but in reality ghosts are just like you, they

don't disappear or anything, after death, they are just transported

into another dimension; the workings of which the living don't quite

percieve.

Young guy : oh yeah?

Hiker :*cough cough* excuse me *pulls out a hanky from his pocket*

Young guy : what the hell is that stain on your hanky?

Hiker : It's a blood stain.

Young Guy : WHAT?

Hiker : I was shot.

Young Guy : enough is enough! *pulls his car over and opens the door* GET OUT

OF MY CAR RIGHT NOW! *pulls the hiker forcibly out *

Hiker : okay, okay....relax! We are doing this for a prank TV show; the stain

is just ink...see...there is a camera in my briefcase, the whole thing

was staged and recorded.

Young guy : *laughs out loudly* you know, not one moment did I believe that this

thing was really true.

Hiker : Man! We tried this trick on several people, everybody was scared

sh**; I had to call it off before I could get to the hanky part but you

were the FIRST guy who wasn't scared.

Young guy : it's a good idea! It must be fun doing stuff like this.

Hiker : you bet!

Young guy : Just one thing: you were wrong!

Hiker : about what?

Young guy : ghosts

Hiker : what about them?

Young guy : ghosts DO disappear! *smiles and vanishes into thin air*

The hiker died instantaneously of a heart attack....

Edited by Bone_Collector
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cute one, but I shouldn't read spooky stories at this time of night...

sad.gifhuh.gifohmy.gif

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great story...with really unexpected end..... rolleyes.gif

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Hey, thanks! I took quite some time to decide how to put it. I wanted the end to be totally unexpected.

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Good ending. tongue.gif I wasn't expecting that.

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Good ending! Kinda reminds me of something Stephen King might pull! tongue.gif

40nrockinon devil.gif

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good story you should write up another thumbsup.gif

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^

that was good can you write another original.gif

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Thanks Guys, I WILL write when I get some free time.

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Real good story!! You show some talent!! Keep it up!!

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Horrible. The dialogue is dreadful and doesn't resemble the conversational flow that any two people in the place known as "the real world" would ever carry with each other. The ending is a third grader's attempt at a Sixth Sense ending. Please don't ever post again, anywhere on the internet.

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Well My name is Zeeshan and By Reading that Urban Legend I Remember a Movie... I live in Pakistan...I Saw an Indian Film named as "Darna Mana Hai" :cry: (Fear is not allowed)...In That There were 5 Friend Who lost their way in a Forest and it was night to Pass Their Time They sat beside an old Cabin in Forest and Started Telling Scary Stories in one of the Stories The Same Urban Legend was Mentioned..............If u wanna know the End of the Movie Just Ask me!!!!!!!!!!

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Well My name is Zeeshan and By Reading that Urban Legend I Remember a Movie... I live in Pakistan...I Saw an Indian Film named as "Darna Mana Hai" :cry: (Fear is not allowed)...In That There were 5 Friend Who lost their way in a Forest and it was night to Pass Their Time They sat beside an old Cabin in Forest and Started Telling Scary Stories in one of the Stories The Same Urban Legend was Mentioned..............If u wanna know the End of the Movie Just Ask me!!!!!!!!!!

post-10703-1127324839.jpg

post-10703-1127324993.jpg

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Good Story, i didnt expect that ! :D

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Awsome story :tu:

loved the twist at the end

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Horrible. The dialogue is dreadful and doesn't resemble the conversational flow that any two people in the place known as "the real world" would ever carry with each other. The ending is a third grader's attempt at a Sixth Sense ending.

Thank you very much!

First of all, let me remind you that this is the URBAN LEGEND forum. The stories that we read here are a type of folklore, in the form of supposedly-true stories circulated primarily by word of mouth. I never claimed that I created this story; I heard it and tried to put it in my own words as I mentioned at he very beginning of my first post. I'm glad some people liked it.

Please don't ever post again, anywhere on the internet.

Ooooh....I'm scaaaared...what do I do now, I'm threatened by the Internet overlord. My posting days are over. :lol:

Edited by Bone_Collector

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I personally liked it... it spooked me, so it was awesome... :)

don't let people who have nothing better to say then spew their negative and unwanted criticism stop you from ever making up another story like that and please keep posting..

I look forward to reading more Urband Legends from you :tu:

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Good to know that you liked it wabbit and thanks for your words. I will post another Urban Legend soon.

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Well, to get into the technical part of writing, the poking with the elbow is just a little stale. The laughing hysterically, or whatever superlative you used there, gets recycled and doesn't make the story better. The joke comes a little too quick, the 'ghost' gives up too fast. Then the ending twist is something a bit unexpected, I have to say, but after that it's also pretty familiar in some way.

About Urban Legends... I never quite understood how this all could ever be written down if both parties in the legend don't write it down. Here we have the ghost disappearing and the man dying instantly. Who collected all the info for the next of kin? That actually makes it just another story, with no 'actually happened to a friend of a friend of mine' at all.

Anyway, I liked the story but you should practice.

Then again: don't we all?

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Great story. Fantastic end.

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Horrible. The dialogue is dreadful and doesn't resemble the conversational flow that any two people in the place known as "the real world" would ever carry with each other. The ending is a third grader's attempt at a Sixth Sense ending. Please don't ever post again, anywhere on the internet.

^ That was harsh ... no need for that!

Hi Bone Collector. I liked your story.

Edited by Tornado

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That was a good one, I really liked the twist at the end. And like they say, the people that can tell a good story, tell it. The people that can't, gripe about the ones that can. :tu:

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i've heard several variations on this legend.

a guy picks up a girl on a dangerous piece of road called 'Devils Elbow' (or something like that), takes the girl to her brothers, gets there and the girl is not in the car anymore. so he knocks on the door anyway, turns out the chik had been going to visit her sick mother in hospital, and had died in a car accident on the Devils Elbow. And every year, people picked up her ghost, always on the anniversery of her death.

and there were others, but i can't remember them right now :mellow:

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Well, to get into the technical part of writing, the poking with the elbow is just a little stale. The laughing hysterically, or whatever superlative you used there, gets recycled and doesn't make the story better. The joke comes a little too quick, the 'ghost' gives up too fast. Then the ending twist is something a bit unexpected, I have to say, but after that it's also pretty familiar in some way.

Well...I didn't exactly post this story to show off my writing skills; it was a story I heard from somebody and I tried to put it in the best possible way I could, however, I will consider few of the points that you mentioned when I attempt to write the next time.

About Urban Legends... I never quite understood how this all could ever be written down if both parties in the legend don't write it down. Here we have the ghost disappearing and the man dying instantly. Who collected all the info for the next of kin? That actually makes it just another story, with no 'actually happened to a friend of a friend of mine' at all.

Good observation but the whole thing was being recorded by the Hiker for his TV show, remember?

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Great story . . . had me going 'til the end! :o

:tu:

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