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Solidsdemise

Conscious succubus experience

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I beg your pardon as this is my first post. I'll try to make it short as possible, but I thought those concerned would like to hear some details... of course i've left a lot of them out :tu:. I came across this site as I was trying to do some shallow internet research on an experience I had three years ago, and I've been impressed with what I've seen in this community so I decided to join.

First, a little background on me and what lead up to the experience. I am diagnosed with bipolar I disorder, and three years ago I was going through my first (and so far only) true manic episode, to the point where it had psychotic features. I was a devout Christian at the time, and a lot of the psychotic features were religious in nature. In addition, I had just overcome an addiction to pornography, and hadn't had any sort of release/nocturnal emission for 3 months; also, I'm a virgin. Theologically, this means I had open doors at the time to demonic influences, particularly sexual sin. At the time of this manic awakening, I had no idea I was under the influence of a disorder, and combined with additional stress including 2 hours of sleep per night for 3 months, it lead to full blown psychosis. After staying awake for 3 days straight at the end of these 3 months, it happened.

I felt something touch my hand, not physically, but something deeper, down to my soul, and it warmed me while I was lying in bed wondering what was going to happen to me. I was completely awake, but another post could describe the world I saw. I remember most of what happened so vividly. Her touch was perfect, and her master in the art beyond my imagination. I couldn't see her - I just felt sensations on my body and talked with her in my mind. She bid me to take her to a quiet place where my parents wouldn't hear, so I went out to the car in the dark.

Things further progressed sexually, and my energies were absolutely phenomenal - she always did the perfect thing to keep me going. As things progressed, I could begin to see more of her. The one thing that caught my eyes the most were hers - when I looked into them, I saw the stars and the heavens and thought of the atoms and matter that make each one, but all of that was still not enough to justify the eyes. They pointed me to another world, and all of what I saw in them pointed to an innocent desire to make love. Her body was effervescent, it changed according to what would arouse me the most, and I could not see her breasts or private parts - they were numb to the eyes. It was her hair, body type, skin color, ethnicity that all changed. She would morph seamlessly, moment by moment.

Another prominent feature of the experience was her scent. It was incredibly intoxicating, like a sort of indescribable flower with intimate features. It reminded me of everything that is good and beautiful in the world, and it described what I saw in her eyes. All of her touch - it wasn't so much physical as it was much, much deeper.

The whole nature of the experience was so innocent. I felt no guilt, no darkness, no lust whatsoever. The focus was on pleasing her, and in turn she wished to please me. She would often giggle and I felt as though we were in the Garden of Eden, making love for the first time in all creation, and that God had given her such a magnifiscent gift of doing so - I didn't believe that, but that's the closest way my mind could describe it.

She brought me to a certain point where I felt I could go no further, never achieving climax yet during the experience. All of a sudden, she broke down crying, telling me that I would be going through a very hard time. Just then, I saw a vision and felt presences around me. I was reminded of Christ and his experiences leading up to his crucifixion with visual hallucinations, and I saw the spiritual side of what was happening to him.

I asked her who she was, and she didn't answer. I saw that she understood that she could not understand the pain that i had just witnessed. After 6 hours from her first touch, she worked me to an incredible climax.

I had no idea at the time of what that being was I thought visited me. I thought it was an angel sent by God, as that intense experience helped get me through that hard time, and I saw a lot more of the world through the experience. But I've never heard of angels doing such things. It seems from what little research I've come across that this is related to a succubus visit. I didn't know what you guys think. Honestly, this experience has had a profound impact on me... In a way, it saved my life as that experience carried me through my hospitalization period soon afterwards. It did come with some deceit as well - which I see as a demonic feature as well that I won't get into.

I'm fascinated with the intersections of psychological states and the spiritual realm - and I believe mania with psychotic features is one way to explore this.

Oh, I wasn't touching myself for the record.

Does this sound characteristic of a succubus visit? Is it unheard of to have it while you're awake, as I was at this point (but with no sleep for 3 days)?

Thanks

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Great story. I have never heard of a modern succubus sighting in my life. In a sceptic`s point of view you could have imagined that because you say that you were a pornography addict and also that you are a virgin. I will find more info on succubuses so you can see for yourself was it a real succubus experience or not.

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Posted (edited)

In Western medieval legend, a succubus (plural succubi) is a demon who takes the form of a female to seduce men (especially monks) in dreams to have sexual intercourse. They draw energy from the men to sustain themselves, often until the point of exhaustion or death of the victim. From mythology and fantasy, Lilith and the Lilin (Jewish), Lilitu (Sumerian) and Rusalka (Slavic) are, in redactive Christian fables (folktales not part of official Christian theology), considered succubi.

According to the Malleus Maleficarum, or "Witches' Hammer", succubi would collect semen from the men they slept with, which incubi would then use to impregnate women. Children so begotten were supposed to be more susceptible to the influence of demons.

In some beliefs the succubi would morph into the Incubus with its newly collected semen ready to impregnate their victims. This was to account for the fact that demons could not reproduce naturally, however the incubus could impregnate women.

Edited by freddy_krueger

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Welcome to UM Uraeus. The combination of overcoming a porn addiction and sleep deprivation/chronic insomnia sounds like a heady mix. Add virginity which you may or may not be seeking to lose and, well, vivid, amorous hallucinations seem quite likely. It think it's better to begin exploring the possible answers within yourself before you contemplate outside forces. The human mind is very creative.

Good luck.

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You should remember that these kinds of feelings, sensations and emotions are very difficult to imagine.

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The appearance of succubi varies just about as much as that of demons in general; there is no single definitive depiction. However, they are almost universally depicted as alluring women with unearthly beauty, often with demonic batlike wings; occasionally, they will be given other demonic features (horns, a tail with a spaded tip, snakelike eyes, hooves, fangs, etc). Occasionally they appear simply as an attractive woman in dreams that the victim cannot seem to get off their mind. They lure males and in some cases, the male has seemed to fall "in love" with her. Even out of the dream she will not leave his mind. She will remain there slowly draining energy from him.

Experiences of apparent supernatural visitations at night can sometimes occur as effects of hypnagogia. To this day the blame of nocturnal emissions and other sexual occurrences or mysteries are, in some cultures and circles, blamed on a demon of sin such as a succubus.

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Yes, that`s where I got my info from.

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Come on people there is no link between demons and the mentally ill. For crying out loud. What century is this??

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It seems you see this experience as a positive one – therefore it seems more like an angelic appearance even though it was sexual.

There are those who believe that certain forms of psychosis opens doors into realms we know little about.

You write beautifully and poetically with skill – I wanted to read on and on as I would a good story. I would suggest you get one more positive thing from this experience. Write a book.

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There are those who believe that certain forms of psychosis opens doors into realms we know little about.

If that was the case I'd have a graveyard full of booger-bears.

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Maybe. But we have no way of knowing that people suffering from certain forms of psychosis are not having both delusional experiences and possibly paranormal ones.

I am not saying they are, or they are not - just have an open mind to all posibilities - the globe spins in space with people all over it and rivers and trees - miracles, magic - anything is possible

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But have you ever thought that that may be offensive to those of us with mental illnesses?

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Thanks for reading this everyone... I'm actually seeking some pastoral counselling about this, and I wonder what my pastor would have to say about it. Lol my college internet filter won't even let me go to that succubus site - I hope to in the near future.

Explorer - thanks for your suggestion. I wonder why it isn't a figment of my imagination. I don't rule that out as impossible, but it is hard to believe. It's hard to believe that what I experienced came from within me. The other events that came up before and after the event were flawed in comparison... She completely seduced me, mind, body, and soul. She told me things that happened during my life geared towards seducing me, and i later asked the people involved if they were true and they confirmed them. She brought up events in my life I suppressed, and I felt as though she healed the wounds. That aside, to put things mildly the experience was intensely out of this world.

I didn't know about the succubus until ironically I heard it on the x-files a few days ago. As I read more, it seems to fit... the circumstances left me very open to attack, and in my altered state of consciousness I was already experiencing spiritual attacks (at least according to my psychologist, psychiatrist, and pastor) before and around the time this happened.

At this point, I'm hesitant to believe the folk tales about the succubi/incubi impregnating women to reproduce. However, I believe it's foolish to say that there aren't genuine experiences at least in the past related to visitations from succubi/incubi given the number of testimonies.

Thanks again for your help and support... I hope you find this interesting :-)

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But have you ever thought that that may be offensive to those of us with mental illnesses?

No. My son has suffered from psychosis for a very long time and I have worked with this condition myself. To make a theoretical supposition on a board that welcomes "Unexplained Mysteries" is a different matter than if I said this directly to someone who was having a psychotic episode. Even so, sorry if it upset you.

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To make a theoretical supposition on a board that welcomes "Unexplained Mysteries" is a different matter than if I said this directly to someone who was having a psychotic episode. Even so, sorry if it upset you.

Same here... A lot of what I experienced in my psychotic episode was chemicals going awry. However, I wish to explore the doors that psychosis may open. A philosophy prof of mine once said "you have to be a bit cracked out to see the Light." Do people who have such experiences sometimes have such a heightened sense? Are there notable patterns in various forms of psychoses? Is this one path of science: intersecting psychology, religion, and philosophy, that can pursue greater understanding of ourselves and the world beyond the physical?

Edited by Uraeus

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No. My son has suffered from psychosis for a very long time and I have worked with this condition myself. To make a theoretical supposition on a board that welcomes "Unexplained Mysteries" is a different matter than if I said this directly to someone who was having a psychotic episode. Even so, sorry if it upset you.

Because your son suffers with episodes doesn't mean someone else who suffers wouldn't take offence. I get riled up about this subject because of all the negative stigma attached to mental illness. The things that people think about the mentally ill are just ridiculous sometimes. It is a subject close to my heart and I am very sensitive about it, I'll admit. I don't like it when people try and tie the paranormal to the mentally ill. No one tries to tie diabetics to the paranormal. Hallucinations do not have to mean paranormal. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just don't want any more stigma created that one day I might have to overcome.

Anyway, thanks for the apology.

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But have you ever thought that that may be offensive to those of us with mental illnesses?

Have to agree w Xzeta on this one. The truth is that none of us knows for sure whether or not there's a r-ship btw. mental illness and paranormal activity. So we are reduced to admitting the possibility there is such a connection, regardless of how anyone responds to the fact of it.

To me it seems rather pointless to allow oneself to get offended by a declaration of a possible truth. Besides, it's all in how the r-ship is perceived. Some people w/mental illness are praised for alleged psychic abilities while some people are demonized. It depends.

Also, if any offense is taken, it should be spread to many fellow sufferers who go out of their way to claim psychic powers as the underlying reason for their mental illness. It's a tricky issue and not everyone agrees this association is the cause of stigma.

Edited by OMS Transmitting

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Have to agree w Xzeta on this one. The truth is that none of us knows for sure whether or not there's a r-ship btw. mental illness and paranormal activity.

I know that there isn't.

Not everyone believes in psychic powers. It's feeding stigma if you ask me.

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You have to ask yourself, which possibility seems more plausable(and just for the record, I could care less if this was a forum about the paranormal, if my opinion happens to not fall under the realm of the paranormal....so be it).....A chance meeting with a Succubus....or an episode brought-on by the combination of fatigue(both mental and physical), and the emerging chemical imbalance?

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A hallucination or delusion might or might not contain "psychic" or spiritual insight. The same goes for ordinary perception and thought. So Ethyl is right: psychosis and spiritual activity don't appear to be causally related.

Impairment in a person's linear thought processes might permit intuitions to emerge more clearly-- erupt is more like it-- but I'm sure that such intuitions are occurring more or less in the background of everyone's mind.

Coldethyl is also right that there's a lot the general public doesn't understand about mental illness. For instance, there's this popular image of the "psycho killer," but the truth is that psychotic persons do not commit violence any more often than non-psychotic persons. I think the same probably goes for having "paranormal" experiences.

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^^ Thanks so much boorite. This kind of thing gets me so worked up sometimes I can't even express myself properly.

:tu:

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It is difficult on message boards to say exactly what you want to say and it’s hard to know who you may offend or hurt when all you wanted to do was explore a possibility or theory.

I am truly sorry and the last thing I would want to do is offend or hurt people and I can see exactly what you are saying – exactly. A diabetic does not get associated with paranormal – why would psychosis?

Apart from the very few cases where people have been institutionalized for having psychic awareness and labelled psychotic. Other than that – yes, it is not nice for you and I am really, really sorry.

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Other than that – yes, it is not nice for you and I am really, really sorry.

Hey, it's cool. Thanks so much for understanding.

I bear no grudges.

:tu:

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