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Magikman

True or False?

20 posts in this topic

Found this on another web site;  :)

 Here are eight different reports. Some of them are true, some are not (and resemble urban legends). Can you tell which is which? Answers in approx. 2 weeks. Winner gets to pummel me unmercifully about the head and neck with a paranormal manifest of their choice until I scream "I believe, I believe".  :s04

1). A Sticky Crime

"I've made some weird arrests in my time, but this even beats the woman shoplifting with a rabid donkey for protection last month," Sergeant Paulo Quadros of the Belo Horizonte police force told reporters.

"This time, it took twelve of us, including eight firemen, and we had to take a dozen floor boards into custody as well."

Sergeant Quadros was answering questions about the arrest of Sergio De Sa, on charges of aggravated theft. "De Sa is a glue sniffer, who steals from shops to feed his habit. On Saturday night he broke into the Gola Gola glue factory, but he lost control when saw the really good stuff and started inhaling directly from the vats. Of cause, he was overcome by fumes after one sniff and lost his balance, upsetting a vat of glue as he fell. By the time he came round, he was stuck to the floor and had to lie there helplessly until the workers turned up on Monday morning. They couldn't shift him and in the end, we had to get a powersaw and cut round him. The factory owner lost a days production and he lost the skin off his back."

"While we were charging him, he said it was worth it as Gola Gola Quickstix was the premier cru [sic] of glue. What is with these people? Are they nuts? Last month we arrested another guy with tubes stuck right up both

nostrils. He died in custody. Someone called him Walrus face and he laughed so much he hemorrhaged."

2). Pumping

"The government must crack down on this disgusting craze of `Pumping'," a spokesman for the Nakhon Ratchasima hospital told reporters. "If this perversion catches on, it will destroy the cream of Thailand's manhood."

He was speaking after the remains of 13 year-old Charnchai Luanmuangpak had been brought into the hospital's emergency department. "Most Pumpers use a standard bicycle pump," he explained, "sticking the nozzzle up their rectum and giving themselves a rush of air. Not only is that a sin against God, but it can be dangerous even for onlookers. Charnchai took it further still. He started using a two-cylinder foot pump, but even that wasn't exciting enough for him, and he boasted to friends that he was going to try the compressed air hose at a nearby gasoline station. They dared him to do it so, under cover of darkness, he sneaked in. Not realising how powerful the machine was, he inserted the tube into his body, and placed a 1 baht coin in the slot. Of course, he died instantly, but passers by are still in shock. One woman though she was watching a twilight firework display and

started clapping. We still haven't located all of him."

"Pumping is the devil's pastime, and we must all say no to satan," he concluded. "Inflate your tyres by all means, but then hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you."

3). Albert de Salvo

Representative Tom Moor sponsored a resolution in the Texas House of Representatives in Austin, Texas calling on the House to commend Albert de Salvo for his unselfish service to "his country, his state and his community."

The resolution stated that "this compassionate gentleman's dedication and devotion to his work has enabled the weak and the lonely throughout the nation to achieve and maintain a new degree of concern for their future. He has been officially recognized by the state of Massachusetts for his noted activities and unconventional techniques involving population control and applied psychology."

The resolution was passed unanimously.

Representative Moore then revealed that he had only tabled the motion to show how the legislature passes bills and resolutions often without reading them or understanding what they say. Albert de Salvo was the Boston Strangler.

4). Gorilla Suits

A hunter in Uganda is being sought by local authorities for illegally hunting gorillas. He shoots them with a tranquilizer gun and dresses them in clown suits. So far six gorillas have been found wandering around in this condition.

A Ugandan spokesman stated that this was a person with a truly sick sense of humor. They felt this was a cruel practice, since they had to tranquilize the gorillas again to take the suits off.

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5). Evolution In Action?

The Arizona (U.S.) Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal imbedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road, at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.

The boys in the lab finally figured out what it was, and what had happened.

It seems that a guy had somehow got hold of a JATO unit, (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert, and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired off the JATO.

Best as they could determine, he was doing somewhere between 250 and 300 mph (350-420kph) when he came to that curve....

The brakes were completely burned away, apparently from trying to slow the car.

Solid-fuel rockets don't have an 'off ' switch... once started, they burn at full thrust till the fuel is gone.

6). Lucky Dog

"We will not have him put down. Lucky is basically a damn good guide dog," Ernst Gerber, a dog trainer from Wuppertal told reporters. "He just needs a little brush-up on some elementary skills, that's all."

Gerber admitted to the press conference that Lucky, a German shepherd guide-dog for the blind, had so far been responsible for the deaths of all four of his previous owners. "I admit it's not an impressive record on paper. He led his first owner in front of a bus, and the second off the end of a pier. He actually pushed his third owner off a railway platform just as the Cologne to Frankfurt express was approaching and he walked his fourth owner into heavy traffic, before abandoning him and running away to safety. But, apart from epileptic fits, he has a lovely temperament. And guide dogs are difficult to train these days."

Asked if Lucky's fifth owner would be told about his previous record, Gerber replied: "No. It would make them nervous, and would make Lucky nervous. And when Lucky gets nervous he's liable to do something silly."

7). Human Head Found In Pot Raid

For a Berkeley man, those novelty shrunken heads just aren't enough. He made a real human head the life of many a party, police said Thursday.

During a marijuana raid at the man's house, officers said, they found a mummified head in a box marked 'Eight-Piece Party Cook Kit.' Wrapped in a white lab smock, the head--which belonged to a woman and had been the subject of an autopsy--often came out during good times, police said.

Officers confiscated a stack of about 20 photos with people in all sorts of poses with the head, Lt. Michel de Latour said. Sitting with the head. Feigning horror and surprise at its discovery. Eating dinner with the head on the table.

"It was just a curiosity piece, it looks like to me," de Latour said. "They obviously enjoyed posing with the head, judging from the pictures they took."

The head's blond hair and eyebrows are still visible, but its brain had been removed. The owner, 51-year-old Donald R. Donohue, told officers it was 20 years old and that he got it from a student at a now-defunct medical

school in Lawrence, Kan.

8). A Vapid Death

Terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a men who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted of beans (they said what kind; I forgot) cabbage (and a couple other things). It was just the right combination of foods.

It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. The ME said, had he been outside or had his windows opened it wouldn't have been fatal but the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. He was "...a big man with a huge capacity for creating [this deadly gas]." Three of the rescue workers got sick and one was hospitalized.

Magikman   :sg

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       MM,   I haven't read them all yet,  but...don't you think the winner should pick the punishment?  :s02

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           Okay,  I'll take the first bite:

     

       1)  True>  I believe the 'attachment' people can have for glue's affect on them.  

        2)  False>  too sick!  (if that's possible)

        3)  First I said True,  since I recognised the name and thought about the reason for the 'setup',  but I changed it to False,  because I think once those resolutions are passed,  they aren't easily repealed!!

         4) False>  what would be the point?  If they are hunters,  they will kill,  not humiliate!  :s04

          5) False> I think the driver would have lost control WAY back before the curve!

          6) False> More like a DEVIL DOG,  I can't imagine they would have let the 'death toll'  go much past the first 2!

           7) True>  So bizarre,  it HAD to have happened!

          8 )  False>  Possible....BUTT!!

            Hope I did this right...or was this all a 'rhetorical' test?    :-[ ;D

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I agree with SpacyKC..  :D

Odin S. :s9

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      Wait,  does that mean I would have to share the

   'winnings' with Odin?    :s04

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KC,

 No, you came up with the answers first, so if you have the most correct, you would be the winner. While we are on the subject of winners, in the spirit of compromise, I'll allow the ladies to choose my punishment if they have the most correct answers. However, teeth must be involved, preferably with dual protruding incisors, along with suitable evening wear.  

*pant, pant, slobber*  :sk :sk

*drool*  :s04

Magikman  :s02

* - Actually thought this would generate more interest,  :-/  go figure, hey? ???

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I'll take a stab as well:

 1) False   I think that a sniffer would do anything to get their fix, but I don't think they would break into a glue factory.

2) False    Ouch! Can you say human balloon.  :s2

3) False    Don't really know too much about the Boston Strangler, but I don't think his name was Albert de Salvo.   :s6

4) True    I do think that some people could be jokesters, and wanted some fun.  ;D

5) False   I'd like to think that our weapons were being heavily guarded so this type of thing doesn't happen. So that's why I said false. Don't think anyone would be able to get their hands on these things.

6)   False  I think they would have put the dog to sleep by then. If not then at least give him to a child for a playmate.   :s2 :s2  just kidding.

7) True   People who do drugs do the damnedest things.  ;D

8) False   That would be an awful way to go.  Imagine that,  killed by your own gaaasssss!!   :s2 :s2

               :s9  :s9

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On the off chance someone might have missed this post the first time around, I'll bump it up to the front to see if anyone else is interested in posting their guesses. I'll post the answers this Sunday.

*I see you there in the shadows, KC, lovingly caressing that leather whip.  :s01

Magikman  :s04

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:skOh! Oh! I want a go :st

1).True.

2).True. A freind of mine is a nurse in our local Hospital and you'd be amazed at the things some people will have lodged up their bums.:o

3). True. Some people will do anything to prove a point.

4). :s2This story made me laugh just picturing those poor gorilas wondering around with a big ruffle round their necks and pom pom suits. But alas I think its False.

5).True. Very Silly but I still think some people are just mad enough to try it.

6).I thought True first but then Epilectic fits were mentioned and i'm sure they wouldn't employ a dog who wasn't 100% fit. So False.

7).True. Definetly

8).True. Methane gas is deadly. Proberly came close to death myself on occasions,when Hubbys been on a nite

out with the lads with a curry on the way home. :s2

I'm proberly being really gulible and they're all False!

Arn't all Urban Legends?

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       Oohh,  darn,  I thought that an all-black, skin tight body suit would make me less obvious!   :s04

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Hmmm, not usually very a good at guessing games, but I'll give it a go just for the fun of it:

1) True- I knew a lot of guys in primary school that had a crazy obession with sniffing glue and white-out, and I'm sure many people would go out of their way to get what they want. :s01

2) False- Even if anyone had had any enjoyment out of that, I don't think they'd take it too far--doesn't sound very moral of them either. And I can't really imagine an officer saying, "We still haven't located all of him." or "hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you." ::)

3) True- There are a lot of whackoes out there.  :s5

4) True- Refer to my answer above ^.

5)False- Sounds like something taken from The Roadrunner Show! :s2

6) False- "He just needs a little brush-up on some elementary skills, that's all," is not something a trainer would be likely to say about a dog that was responsible for killing four people!   ::)

7) False- I'm having too much trouble imagening that!--Actually, I'd rather not even try to imagine it!  :o

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Okay, as promised here are the answers to the individual stories. Each answer also contains a link to a site that you can click that reveals more information if you desire.

1. True

http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/sticky_crime.html<BR>

2. False

http://www.snopes2.com/horrors/freakish/pump.htm

3. True

http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/albert_de_salvo.html

4. True

http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/gorilla_suits.html

5. True

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

6. False

http://www.snopes2.com/critters/malice/lucky.htm

7. True

http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/permanent_guest.html

8. False

http://www.snopes2.com/humor/follies/methane.htm

The big winners were both HALO & DAKODA as they each had 5 correct.  :sk :sk  Natually, another contest will have to be held to determine a solitary winner, so a mud wrestling contest is currently being proposed to the two lucky ladies. Tickets are available via mail for $25US or 175 Eurodollars (cash or credit cards only please) at Man of Magik Industries 666 Satan Circle, Milwaukee, WI USA

Magikman  :s02

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:s2 :s2 :s2Mud Wrestling Hey, Hmmmmmm

I'd prefer Strawberry Jelly :sk

How about Dakoda and I against You? MM

Oh forgot to mention I'm 6ft tall and very much like Zena :s8

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::) :s2 :s2 :s2@ Halo.

Hey if you and KC go up against MM (strawberry Jelly inclusive!)

Have an idea Can I referee??  ;D

I'd be totally unbiased of course........ :s1

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       WOW!  Halo!   :o

        If THAT doesn't make MM go POOF!....

      I'm sure it's too late to cool him down!   :s2

         CW,

      If you were the ref,  I'm sure MM would keep begging to be put in the penalty box!!   :s1

         

       BTW,  I'm not in the running,  CW,  but you and I could always stay after and help clean him up!   :s04

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:s2 :s2 ::)

             Yeah KC, not a problem, mind you if we do

                offer to stay behind and clean him up or

               

                 hose him down.........I can just hear it now

              *pant pant*'yes please! *drool drool*

                                        and then

                     the inevitable explosion  :s2 :s1 :s2    

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           :s2  :s2   And he said he wanted teeth involved too!!      :s2    :s2

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*sharpening her fangs*

" huh he mentioned teeth too!"

                            SMILES.................... :s2

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           Sounds like it's going to be a veerrrryyy

       interesting show!!    ;)   :s02

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