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  1. This is a video made by a man named Peter Hiesewhko who came to our Monastery with a group for a retreat.  It was well done I believe.


  2. .Symphony of Science -- "We Are All Connected" (ft. Sagan, Feynman, deGrasse Tyson, & Bill Nye)  4:11 min.



  3. So ...you know your book case? Full of books that you've _naturally_ accrued just by being alive, and being interested in _something_ in the world? I don't care exactly what kind of books. It doesn't matter.  Turns out that _none of them_ are worth under £15. And if there's a specific, niche subject you're into? Ho-ho _(sings, 'You're in the money')_

    The reason for this post: well, y'know that little bookshop in the Wye Valley, between Monmouth and Chepstow? _YES,_ it's opposite the office with the soul-disturbingly frightening taxidermised animals, but just ignore those. The one that was always really magical, because it was on a five mile stretch of pine-strewn road that didn't even have any newsagents? And the books were all CHEAP, and it felt like you were looking around a bookshop in a dream?

    Well, it's been taken over by some very, very conceited nerd women ('Stella' and 'Rose'). Imagine a large charity shop, like an Oxfam bookshop, and they randomly remove 50% of the stuff (like a very parochial version of Thanos),--leaving whole empty shelves!?--  and then raise the prices on everything else to a mysterious, prohibitive level. I just don't understand. I would understand if this was some yuppie suburb of cosmopolitan London, where they pay £5 to eat Frosties out of a shoe ...this is a small bookshop in the middle of nowhere. It should be a working class operation, scraping a living. It shouldn't be pushing its luck with conceit.

    Here's the thing. You get those ultra-scavvy eBay booksellers that sell 10p ex-library stock for £2.49, and send them out in blue clingfilm. Then you get pretentious full price bookshops like Waterstones. That's the scale you should use. Oh, I mean, if you look at the website https://stellabooks.com/ it gives you the impression their shop is all rare and collectable. Well, admittedly, they do have an exclusive 'roped off' section ..but the two upper floors? Just contain ubiquitous, normal books. Not antiques. Not first editions (what's the big deal about first editions anyway? You're _literally_ judging a book by its cover). These are just the regular, non-fiction books you'd see if you randomly walked into anyone's house. Books about sport, about travel, about the military -- but don't think plush 'Jane's' reference books --these are just Osborne-style cash-in books, written by scholars, admittedly, but ...scholars exist. Their 20-years-dated insight doesn't cost £30 a pop. It's not the same as getting a signed photo of Jaqueline Pierce from Blakes 7. 

    Y'know what? It almost makes me side with the "What y' reading for?' Waffle Waitress from Bill Hicks.

    And before long, I will use voodoo to make those taxidermised animals next door come to life, and climb through the book shop letter box, and maraud those conceited auld women. 



  4. image.png.669b4a293dccca48a3f85f91c43a9b9b.png

    Sacred Journey towards the End of Life
    (Life is Short, Pray Hard)


    It is easy to forget that life is an actual journey.  We are moving forward, the vehicle that moves us is called time, and we really do not have an abundance of it.  I do not think that is a favorite point for people in general to ponder….which is no wonder. 

    Or it could be said that life is a pilgrimage.  This actually means that as long as we are on the road, we will seldom find a place that we can actually rest.  We have to ‘deal’ with ‘stuff’.  Some of what we deal with is very painful and can last for a lifetime.  Emotional pain perhaps being the worst for most people. 

    How we deal with our journey, or how we live out the concept of being pilgrims, is very important.  Yet many people seem to spend an awful lot of time, effort, and yes money, trying not to think about it.

    We are not a long-lived species, and to tell you the truth, as much as we fear death, I have not met too many people who would want to live in this world, as beautiful, and wondrous, as it is, for let’s say, hundreds of years.  There is a sort of suffering that comes from simply ‘standing out’, being ‘other’, along with, what I believe,  is the delusion of being separate, isolated, alone. 

    Aging has a way of stripping us of many illusions.  One of them is that of control.  We get older, and getting sick, is as easy as falling off a log.  Even with the best of regimes that deal with food, exercise, the other shoe will drop and be unexpected.  It is like falling off a log.  So when we age, there is a lot we have to deal with in our inner lives, often leading many to think of deeper issues. 

    Having a deep, thought out faith I believe is very important in helping people deal with the aging process and moving towards death.  It allows us to face life with courage, and to find ways to deal with our suffering that is life-affirming. 

    There are many ‘bumps’ in the road that come with being a ‘senior citizen’.  We need to develop patience, a sense of humor, and a willingness to allow life to pass us by.  Our faith, if we truly unite ourselves, our sufferings, with those of Christ Jesus, we will often find a deep inner joy that is something that both gives hope, as well as a type of energy to deal with it. 

    Our hearts will either expand or shrink, as we age.  Become bitter, or more open to what our short lives have to offer.  Knowing that we can choose, allows us to let go of being victims, we let go of blame, and find ways to adapt that led us deeper into the mystery of our lives, as well as our relationship with God. 

    People spend a lot of time denying the fact that they are really into ‘old age’.  It is of course based on the fear of illness, but mainly, of death.  However, the fact is that we ‘age’, and I believe that should be embraced. 

    Our faith does not do away with the struggle of our moving towards diminishment and ‘death’, yet it can give meaning to what all of that entails.—Br.MD



  5. TheOracle

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    Recent Entries

    Latest Entry


    I am not quite sure where or how to start but I want to use this to tell a bit of a story. A story of my travels away from UM for the last 10ish years.

    I became a member here in 2003. It was my place to connect with others who have similar interests. I met so many great people on this forum and UM became a large part of my life. During that time I had some big things happen for me that damaged me emotionally and mentally. I needed to heal myself and become stronger and so it was that I began a journey not only to understand what I was feeling but to discover who I am. I was always the Son and Brother and Friend who did what others wanted, who felt the way others wanted me to feel and give parts of myself away until finally there was nothing left to give. I had no support from friends or family and so it was a huge step for me to try and make that change. 

    As young men we are told that any kind of emotional or mental discovery is week. Hell we are even punished for it. This is always in your mind. No displays of affection are tolerated and you have to harden up! I have hardened up but not in this way. I have become stronger in myself and my ability to survive, to not have to hide my feelings and to take responsibility for my role in events. One of the hardest thing for me was finding my voice. Just being able to stand up and say " Hey...Listen to me". Once I did though I began to attract thing to me that I needed. I was able to open up more with people and all of them helped me on my path in their own ways.

    Anyhoo, I will add more as time goes and I would like to thank you for stopping by. 

    By Paul Dale Roberts, HPI's Esoteric Detective
    Halo Paranormal Investigations
    Sacramento Paranormal Help
    Email: jazmaonline@gmail.com
    Sacramento Paranormal Haunted Hotline: 916 203 7503
    Coleman Paranormal Investigation / Grapefruit Ghost Video by Deanna:

    When I went to Belize while on my way to Guatemala, I was told to visit the Black Hole Drop. I was told this was the Mother of All Caves. Unfortunately, I did not have the time to visit this cave and had to head out to my final destination. If I could have gone back in time, I would have stayed in Belize, but that is another story. To get to the Black Hole Drop, you hike up the foothills of the Maya Mountains and you will reach the mouth of the cave. This is a very unusual cave. Actun Loch Tunich sink hole sits over 300 feet above the basin below and 200 feet above the rain forest canopy that grows out from the sink hole basin.

    Reports have come in that UFOs are sighted near the hole and a recent report says that a group of travelers saw a UFO near the mouth of the cave. It was 40 feet long, no wings and had a dome on top. Here is what one witness says: “ I have never seen anything like this in my life. We were approaching the Actun Loch Tunich cave to do the Black Hole Drop Tour and we saw this mysterious object just hanging close to the sink hole and then it moved rapidly unlike any other thing I have ever seen in the air,” Steven Williams of Colorado says.

    Many visitors to the Black Hole Drop say that it's an adventure you will never forget. You get lowered down through the mouth of the cave. As visitors rappel further downward, they pass the canopy layer and arrive at a deep hole that looks inky black and that is where the name originates from. Special Note: I rappelled down a big hole, it was called Moaning Caverns, an experience I will never forget. Could the Black Hole Drop be a gateway to an underground complex that was created by extraterrestrials? Many abductees have made claim that their alien abductors have taken them to secret extraterrestrial bases that are underground. Case example: When I went to New Mexico to visit Billy the Kid's Grave with a stopover at Dulce, I was told by locals that they believe there is a jointly operated human and alien underground facility that exists under Archuleta Mesa on the Colorado-New Mexico border near the town of Dulce.

    Secret underground complexes are everywhere. Right here in Sacramento, there is a secret passageway from our State Capitol to the California State Library to various other State government facilities. These underground complexes are to be used by our Governor and high officials during a disaster or emergency. Deanna Jaxine Stinson discovered many caverns and caves in her former hometown of Sonora and what she discovered is that most of these caves are extremely haunted by people of the past who temporarily lived in these caves and for past victims of this cave who have actually died in these caves. Many Sonora locals believe that some of the caverns and caves also lead to underground extraterrestrial bases. Why? Because Sonora is in the heart of Gold country and Bill Birnes - UFOlogist made claim that California's Gold Country is also known as Gold Country UFO Triangle. Many people in Gold country see strange lights in the sky and strange UFO activity. The theory is that UFOs are attracted to the gold in the Gold Country UFO Triangle. What also is interesting is that UFOs are seen at the Green Valley Vortex and the Green Valley Vortex is in the Gold Country UFO Triangle. You can read more about the Green Valley Vortex here: www.costaricantimes.com/ghost-hunting-in-the-green-valley-vortex/24220

    When I visited Area 51, see article here: www.costaricantimes.com/area-51-seeking-aliens-conspiracy-theories/22799 I was told by many locals of Rachel, Nevada that Area 51 has a secret underground complex that leads to many military bases. One local who claimed he worked there at one point of time says that there is a huge underground base at Area 51 and underground tunnels that lead to Fort Hood, Texas, Fort Huachuca, Arizona, Wright Patterson AFB, Dulce, New Mexico and at one time Fort Ord, because of the UFO base at Monterey Bay. The former employee of Area 51 says that the tunnels also lead to many other military installations and a black ops government group has complete knowledge of the tunnels. You can see my investigation at Monterey Bay here: sacramentopress.com/2008/11/18/monterey-bay-underground-ufo-base/?fbclid=IwAR33W5cvjLE66sGvNYmp2E15IF9_duQjwGclvjuhaI4Qv44HIqhgO_rOmf8

    If you don't want to be seen, the best place to be is underground. If you want to conduct secretive experiments, the best place to do it is underground. Harold Waters of Los Angeles makes claim that when he looked into the sewer system in LA, he saw 2 Reptilian humanoids moving about and one of the Reptilian creatures looked at him and hissed. Stories abound in LA that Reptilians live underneath the city and they come from a UFO base underwater near Catalina Island. When I visited Catalina Island, I was told by a shop keeper that UFOs are often seen near the island. We know what is basically above ground, but there is so much to explore underneath our Earth and in our oceans and waterways.  Now, let's take a break from underground paranormal activity and talk about our most recent investigation, see below.

    Initial Report:

    Contact Person: Rachel Coleman. Address to be at: xxxxxx Sacramento, CA 95827. Activity: Items in house vanish and then reappear. Strange noises heard in the home. Tapping noises are heard at the back door. Orbs seen flying around the house and in one orb photo a distinct face is seen. Lights flicker on and off. The occupant at age 13 died 3 times and afterwards has been plagued by entities.

    5/11/2019.  Time of the Investigation:  1500 Hours.  Roll Call:  Paul Dale Roberts - HPI Co-Owner; Deanna Jaxine Stinson - Psychic Medium / HPI Co-Owner; Kathy Payne Foulk - Sensitive; Phoenix Skye MacDonald - Empath; Pelenta R. Forrest - Friend to the Occupant; Rachel Coleman - Occupant; Toby - Occupant's dog.  
    I learned that Pelenta is a victim of alien abduction.  Deanna is also a victim of alien abduction and what is so amazing is that these two had so much in common.  Here are the common threads between these two.  1. Both are musicians and play guitar; 2. Both are artists - they love to paint; 3. Both keep a dream journal and a regular journal; 4. Both are fascinated with Orion's belt - Deanna has the tattoo of Orion's belt on her arm and Pelenta when receiving an MRI - discovered 3 orbs on her brain scan that resembled Orion's belt; 5. Both had implants; 6. Both fascinated with the Akashic Records; 7. Both fascinated with angels, dragons and take pictures of clouds that resemble dragons; 8. Both are authors; 9. Both get migraines; 10. Both hear buzzing sounds; 11. Both encounter UFO activity..etc.  It just went on and on. 
    My interview with Rachel.
    Rachel has lived in this home for 3 years.  Rachel discovered the paranormal activity, because of her security cameras set up in her home.  Rachel's security cameras have caught the following: 1. Big and little orbs moving as if they have intelligent movement; 2. flickering lights; 3. monitor flickers off and on and goes to a white screen and then everything is normal again; 4. Zig Zag moving orb; 5. Designer orb with distinct face.  Other activity: 1. Cold spots felt; 2. Orbs show up on certain times of the day; 3. Rachel has felt entity brush up against her.  Rachel is not frightened from the activity and is intrigued by it.  Pelenta has experienced paranormal activity all of her life and has video tapes, pictures of that activity.  Pelenta has been to the Rancho Cordova Library and discovered that there was a lot of Miwok settlements in the area where she lives and where Rachel lives.  Pelenta once discovered images of Native American Indians on her windshield.  On one particular night Pelenta was playing her guitar and an orb came over and started making dancing moves to her music.  Pelenta watched an intelligent moving orb move towards the window and watch a car go by. 
    The Investigation:
    When we arrived there were grapefruit scattered all over the yard.  They fell off the grapefruit tree.  We are in the house for a few minutes and step outside and the grapefruits were now all placed close together and no one did this.  We captured one EVP, a whispering that sounded like "who?"  At one time there were angel wings formed on the lawn, the angel wings are no longer there, because the lawn was mowed.  Deanna picked up on a 15 year old Native American Indian girl and an old man in the back bedrooms.  We didn't get much evidence, but we saw plenty of security camera evidence.  Deanna conducted a metaphysical cleansing.  UPDATE:  While Deanna was creating her video from this investigation, during my interview with Rachel - we captured strange voice sounds in the background and during the investigation everything was quiet.  The sounds are eerie and strange, check out Deanna's video.  Deanna also caught an energy field around Rachel's father's urn.  
    Videos from the Investigation:

    Thank you to Pelenta R. Forrest, she gave us her signed book called: Angels - Pass Through.

    HPI’s Paranormal Investigation of McKinley Park:
    See link above, I used to be in Nancy Bradley’s ghost hunting group and investigated ghost activity at McKinley Park with Nancy. We captured some orb photos (inconclusive) and Nancy stated that she could see a little boy next to a tree. I could not prove her claim. I took my wife – Deanna Jaxine Stinson, a psychic medium to McKinley Park and she picked up on animal spirits and she picked up on a little girl ghost in a bright yellow dress spying on her from behind some rose bushes. I instantly did an EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena) recording (quick and dirty) and the disembodied voice that we captured said in a little girl’s voice: “do you want to play with me?” I would have to say McKinley Park is definitely haunted. Paul Dale Roberts.
  7. So many reject the idea of a god using the points of one religion or another. I can relate. I was beaten and exorcised by overzealous relatives as a child to "save" my soul and get rid of the voices and visions I was having. Ostracism was a way of life for me, always being viewed as trouble, something bad or wrong, for most of my most impressionable years. Yet, I had it easy, really. I lived. Some do not. Extremes are not good, no matter what one wishes to talk about.

    Yet, it did work, in a large sense, just not the way my very naïve and misled kin expected. It worked because the real God, The Source, Creator Mother/Father doesn't fit in any religions. Not the real deal. God is not there. God may be around, one can find Source anywhere, but all of it is not there. A true religion is simple, it tells you you are LOVED just as you are, like any child of sane and normal parents. It also tells you that in love, you are expected to go out and play and learn and evolve in your relationship with Source just like you grow and get to know your mortal parents and family. You are expected to do well in life, to do good, learn from mistakes and go on wiser, and to be busy in those positive things that bring you happiness and joy. It is really very simple, and not one of the buildings I ever found had that kind of religion. They add rules and controls and definitions of those who do not belong and punishments and force and all that messiness which is NOT rooted in love. When they are really out of balance, they preach love but become the very thing they hate the most, same as all other things that get into the judgment cycle and mindset. Some do better, but they are weak because they do not then replace their own lack of rules with the tools that can set a person free on a personal journey with Source.

    If you grow enough to know there has got to be a place like that, of sunshine and truth, you end up outside the building, feeling guilty and worried about poking into other ideas and philosophies you were told were bad, and drag a lot of baggage along. It is a tough place to be to seek God but feel like you can't connect, can't find Him anywhere. Not in a real, living way. In the end, many give up, or get bitter and accept "truth" as being there is no God at all, and if the way to Him is by submitting to some religious path you don't buy into then to hell with it then. 

    If there is a God and He really loves you, what kind of haphazard system is this, where if you fail to recognize the right church or temple or book, you end up in hell forever and ever anyway? My question was how can I love Jesus, and God, so very much and yet be cursed, damned, on the highway to hell for these things I was born with - seeing things and dreams and visions? How is that even fair?

    My answer was to end the confusion and debate internally by deciding that God and Love was truth, and those who spoke contrary to it were the wrong voices to hear. I was driven inward by the disapproval and feeling so alone, and found out, that like anywhere else, God was there, too. He just was way closer and easier to touch and talk to and love. Still, it took me years before I realized that this was literal. If we have a drop of the Divine essence as our immortal spirit inside us, then it was really that close, not out there, it was right here, to grab and hold and get to know. 

    I know, what the heck am I talking about? For me, through meditation, inwardly, I realized that we all have this drop of God, as it were inside, and we can ask to be shown what it is we don't understand about it. Creator is right there, inside us all, plenty close enough to love and be loved by and find out this union can ignite and change everything for us. Our journeys to discover this differ but the result of that moment of waking up to the simplicity that we ARE a drop of Creator, hence already "saved" and safe and always were in the eternal sense is the same. It is a flash of inexplicable bliss and influx of love, and life and freedom there are no words for. 

    You ARE a child of God, and always were. What you do with it and how you react to this awakening is the real journey. That was just the beginning, the birth as it were. 

    There is a lot of madness to comprehend out there in the world, most of it comes down to people doing things they should not. It is too easy to say "Well, if there is a God, why did this happen?" It happened because someone who was a child of God did something evil with his free will, like any brat or ignorant child can, with terrible repercussions. Given free will, we have the potential to destroy the world or make a paradise. We are going to range from serial killers to saints, with most of us falling in the average ranges. 

    When so many here do not see how utterly beautiful they are, how overwhelmingly loved they are, how tremendous their own potential is … how can the world not be the way it is? Nobody does very well if they do not know, really know, how deeply loved they are. If you are like me, that need to be loved is a cavern nothing can fill, in truth, when you are dead honest with yourself and see into your own guts clearly. Try all you may, drugs, sex, money, thrills, it is the black hole of inner reality. The only thing that fulfills it is the awakening and simple acceptance, simple realization, that the love from Source can fill it. It is the only thing big enough because YOU are that big inside yourself. You are Source yourself, just a droplet perhaps, but Source yourself. 

    Break the code on that and reality starts opening up. You can go as far as you want down that road. 

    Given that, religions drop to what they really are good for. They are social constructs and can be fun, bonding, healing, and wonderful, in their right place for the individual. Within them, people can wake up, but, that is really not where they shine. 

    This is what "Awakening" is. I see the term being thrown around a lot out there in the spiritual circles. Everyone is talking about "awakening" and "ascension" and "enlightenment". It is real, but it is relative. It begins with realizing you are already a drop of the Divine, you are loved, so start working on loving yourself back and realizing this is no way for a child of God to be feeling, or doing or believing about their own parent and life. You have to begin with yourself, learn to love yourself, learn to walk and talk and see your own value in God's eyes before you can more easily see the value and beauty in others and that there IS no need to be afraid. God is not going to toss you into hell someday. God doesn't hate you. But, given free will, you might for a while. There is so very much more to you than you know.

    If you have had enough of looking for answers out here, are serious, but find this hard to grasp, then get help. It is as simple as asking for it and then letting it reveal the truth to you. "Help me, show me, what the hell is he talking about? God if you are real, if you are there, show me, show me who I am and who you are, because I am kind of dying inside here."  The answer comes in direct proportion to how sincere you are when you ask. We don't have the words for you, but your own soul, your own higher self, does and is always waiting for you to pick up the inner phone and call home. Nobody knows you better, or loves you more. No one else has to know you made the call, either. Phone home and don't ever hang up. That is the ticket. No rules or religion about it. Use it any time.

    Please, don't take my word for it. 

    I write to serve.

  8. 12,900 YEARS AGO......Takion; Your world is about to be destroyed from the one you once knew. But the knowledge of who and what you are will become more important to your Soulular treks than ever before. What you do now is the Crux of Being and Becoming. We come here to Learn and learning is known at your Instant of vast importance. 

    Jomon; What you are saying has deep meaning to a part of me, but I think of all those who could be potentially impacted by such a devastating event as my inner mentality has already imagined. I think of the little ones of innocence, the questioning of their Souls and the massive sorrow that will flourish throughout their realms if deprived of known surroundings. I must hasten to prepare and help them in their time of need. I must do all I can to make things as they always were and will be again. It is up to me to be their strength, so I must go. The weight of this presentation of events must be balanced and leveraged toward the comforting of those in need. 

    Takion; Blessed Soul, I Love the coherency of your mindset and deep concern that is expressed via your painful thoughts. It is a wonder to me the Love you put forth at the awakening of your deepest considerations, here. In another state of mind perhaps you will amplify upon the higher perspectives of all that is about to happen. It is your seed that must pass forth the knowledge and wisdom gained by this the ultimate Learning Test to Godly Consciousness. You must realize because of your ultimate mentality, others will benefit if you prepare for a higher state of understanding. 

    In the coming durations the Bolide or specifically a massive Comet Particle, that has loosened from the confines of my ancient world, now referred to as the Astroid Belt — once consolidated as my old home planet will aim at this your home world, composed of Ice and Stone and hugely programed by Fate Herself. Your world is more vile than you once knew. But the scary, criminal acts of most here on the planet have crushed the reason for a continuation of their evil acts of commonality. No one is safe unless they are as you and your brotherhood of Wisdom. I will tell you the REASON. It is the word, REASON. Tell your mind to dwell upon its complex aspect/s and prepare for Higher Consciousness. 

    Aligned all along the Great Ocean’s edge are the cities of mankind. It is where they all are settled enjoying the fruits of your research and that of your Brotherhood. They receive the grander of your works and bask and play in “frivolity” throughout their lives. They will not heed your warnings and will view your reports of danger flippantly with no concerns. Only the protectors will have an ear to your warnings. Some will organize and attempt to prepare while others will say nothing and drink to the Fates. Those who do not believe you are accustomed to the comfort of their abodes and will go about their daily routines as usual. Their minds never expanded to the knowledge of the true REASON of their own existences. Again, this is the CRUX of their efforts to smile throughout their durations which is a trick of human leveraging, the grimace in the face of Hell. It is representative of those who are slothful and lazy—full of their mother’s tendencies to take care of them constantly or not at all. Many are cosseted in their daily pursuits and expect something for no effort in return. They will not be capable of preparing for disaster. Again, we are sent into existence to LEARN and attain REASON.  

    The Bolide or Comet will begin to swell as it approaches into the influences of the Goge or the Sun as some call it. The rays of the giver or LIGHT, will cause chemical change in the configuration of the form. This will cause it to begin to fragment and become a gathering of elementals that will trail behind it in a contrail of disjointed pieces of the Bolide. It will leave a mark in the sky to all that will see. Some of the massive particles will go into orbit around the planet to gradually rain down on the world for a thousand orbits around the Sun. Survivors will be forced to seek substantial abodes in various terrains or underground caves to shield their families from the incoming particles. It will be such for thousands of years. Few will survive unless there are plans and outside helping services. Some of you and yours will become the Serving Agents to those survivors. Some of you will become the primary builders of new groupings of survivors into new cities of the future. You must make sure that those Service Oriented Entities will always be Teachers of Good. Good is the only end product of REASON. Therefore, Such Goodness must be LEVERAGED in total adherence to the primary REASON. 

    It appears you and yours have a vast new occupation due to this great Test for Humanity. You will become the builders of a new world. Now, I must impart the knowledge and wisdom of REASON to you before you go to your home base. Come with me into this great facility of Endeavor. This place has existed for many thousands of orbits of this planet. Its position here is ideal for the sustenance and survival of this civilization of man. I have sustained myself here for over 100,000 orbits due to the natural configuration of the landscape, its perfect height, mass and the natural flow of a potential hydra inundation or wind velocity which could impact this realm. I have done much research to ascertain its proper form and shape to survive the coming catastrophe. But here also is the outer shell of materials that conform to the body of a Human, engineered mathematically are each and every shape and form of the hardest stone to survive a certain degree of shattering due to the quaking of the planet. Fractally and geometrically are all the stones of this site where a few hundred humans could live and prepare for a new tomorrow. Thus we settle upon the first steps of REASON toward our preparation for such an eventual happening. 

    From the Moire Arena.

  9. LightAngel
    Latest Entry

    If people are afraid to have their heart broken, then they will also be afraid of love, they will reject it (I'm talking about all kinds of love here).

    However, all experiences in life are here to help us grow and evolve. And growth on a personal and individual level is more important than growth on any other external level in life, material or not.

    I know many people who have been hurt so many times that they have closed their hearts.

    What happens, unfortunately in many cases, is that those same people simultaneously substitute that love that they long for with external distractions which will for the most part be material, but they can also not be material, at least not directly. 

    Just some examples of material substitutes would be obsession with one's career or what kind of house or car one owns etc. 

    Some examples, which I think are much more pervasive but nonetheless actually less conspicuous and even trendy - to such an extent that they are even considered "normal" - are attention-seeking, thrill-seeking behavior, obsessive preoccupation with what other people think and/or do, in some cases nothing short of full blown narcissism. 

    Overall, in many cases - conditions that I would say are nothing else than mental diseases which have affected so many people worldwide that the global consensus is that these conditions are normal only because "everybody else is like that". 

    However, I believe that it's a sickness in our society all the same, and I think it could be the end of us.

    I am quite certain that it "will" be the end of us unless something changes.

    So how can we stop this sickness?!

    This is not some kind of change that will occur with some kind of global movement or therapy or media outcry or anything of the sort.

    This is a change that happens and needs to happen individually and "within" every individual.




  10. Simbi Laveau
    Latest Entry

    I've been neglectful of this forum. 

    My bad. 

    A lot of drama as if late. Tiresome. So I'm cocooning, so to speak. 

    Forums..... I know we aren't allowed to discuss other forums here, but this is not really that. 

    This is just abstract musings about my experiences out there in forum land. 

    I settled here, after a bad experience at another well established forum. 

    I liked it here, but friends I met here, moved on. I followed. We are still friends, and go to forums together. Even now, 8 years later. 

    We are closer than ever before as friends too. It makes my heart all warm and fuzzy to think about. 

    After here, there were a series of fun, albeit, weird forums, all of which closed. 

    I found some very cool people on these forums. Some I still know, some I do not. 

    That saddens me. I lost track of some very cool people, but what can you do. 

    I find the mood/personality, of each forum, are as different as people are from one another. 

    A lot of the same people, frequent all of these places, and yet, they all have very different energies. 


    From my first stint here, to now, I find this forum has mellowed. 

    Very laid back now. To me anyway. I like it. 

    I find it facinating that some people here, still have the same avatar that they did in 2011... 

    Ciao bellas



  11. Between 1990 and 2003, my pet was a little bird, a cockatiel.  His name was Luke.  He was so tiny!

    He enjoyed copying songs and words.  He'd copy numerous songs, and he'd copy my mother when she said, "Mike?" He would say, "Hello," "Hey!" and "Pretty Boy."  He also copied me coughing, sneezing, chewing gum, laughing, and more.

    The odd thing is how could that little tiny brain of his be able to remember all those songs, noises, and words?

  12. I dreamt last night to that someone was calling for help, when I woke up I decided to do the meditations. I exited my body through the vibrations. They are a familiar experience now, and I have control over them.  She was a little girl about 9. She was trying to sleep and was being attacked by the sleep paralysis entity. I told her I was there and I would wait for it.

    As she fell asleep, it came for her and I fended it off with a particularly vitious attack. I was actually surprised at my own strength and confidence. I knew I didn’t have much time to stay in that state, so I started to whisper in her ear how to fight for herself. I spent a good amount of time teaching her  as she was asleep, and she would nod and give me assurances that she understood. I tried to wait to see if she could use it, but I came to. Real?... or my crazy imagination? I don’t know. It feels real. 

    Then I fell asleep again... and I dreamed that I had fallen in love with this beaitiful young woman with short black hair. I was supposed to work in the city, ( San Francisco) and she drove me there and I decided to blow off working, and we spent days together in absolute relationship bliss. It was... well... intoxicating. I woke up amazed. 

    A reward maybe? A response to feeling lonely these days? I don’t know, but I’m grateful though along with little sad I will not see her again.

    This is a crazy life. I’m not sure what to think about the things I experience. I suppose I’m only crazy if I insist that it’s all real, and I’m not crazy if I accept the possibility that it’s all in my head. I choose to live in both worlds. One foot in practicality where I am me,  and the other in this wacky psycho spiritual world where I am White Crane Feather.... though for some reason I am starting to miss my other name ( Seeker79) The White Crane has not come to me in while and I’m feeling disconnected from those words. 


  13. I'm going to say something about this stuff. I know where the false flag meme started because it started with me and a dream I had a few years back which I posted on a forum. Then someone took it to GLP and from there it morphed and morphed and became that terrible harassment with the Sandy Hook massacre. 

    It's disgusting on a couple of points here. 

    First, the sheer volume of material that gets stolen from less popular posters by trolls and shills is astounding. Heck! I've seen stuff ripped off from these forums and used in T.V. shows, movies, and books. Lots of people's intellectual property gets swiped on forums and monetized by others. Not cool and a big reason I've clammed up over the years. Worse is when the material falls into the hands of trolls and gets used to torment victims of mass casualty events. That is just the lowest of the low.

    Just because someone posts something on an obscure forum somewhere doesn't give permission to everyone that reads it to repost it at bigger forums, steal the material for their own purposes, etc. It's stealing and stealing is not as clever as you all think. That goes for the likes of Alex Jones, etc. 

    Secondly, real people die in these incidents and it gets turned into a game by crazy people on forums. It's sickening! 

    To prove what I'm saying, I dug out my original post based on my original dream.

    This dream was originally posted Sat Sep 29, 2012, under LunaBaby, at oroborus and clubhouse11: 
    Post subject: Dream of False Flag
    PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:48 am 
    I just remembered what I dreamed about last night. It was very disturbing too. 
    I'm not really a 9-11 theorist or sure about any of that. I think it was allowed to happen and there are reasons I think the government was involved somewhat, at least in a propaganda sort of way. 

    Last night though I had a weird dream that the government, not necessarily ours but some government somewhere, was in the process of undertaking a false flag terrorist attack against their own people. 

    In this dream, I was shown plans, diagrams, and logistics that were being implemented right now for that attack. It was made clear this is imminent and happening right now as an excuse to begin a long sought after war. This war that is about to start is intended to be huge and cost millions of lives from a faked attack by some government somewhere against its own people and country. 

    I was also shown how government agents of whatever government that is are going on the internet to frame the culprits they want to take the blame for this in webpages, postings, and e-mails. 

    No, I can't say what government or where this is, I don't know. Sorry. If I remember something more, I'll post it. Dreams are just so hard to recall sometimes.


    To be clear that dream didn't involve mass shootings or going after second amendment rights. It was about a bombing in Eastern Europe.

    Just my .02 on this sort of thing.

  14. Ruby04
    Latest Entry

    As first time parents, we understand the excitement of a baby on the way and when baby does arrive. 

    However we do ask that people respect that we will give any news when there is news and we are ready to give it. 

    Our baby is NOT going to have face photos online. 

    We are the parents, we will have our own way of raising baby. 

    We appreciate advice and help, however please understand if we don’t take your advice or help it’s nothing personal it’s we are doing things our way. 

    There are people we will ask if we want advice, thankyou thou. 


  15. Tiggs
    Latest Entry



    Picture by Evan-Amos - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18300824

    ^^ This is the first computer I learned to program on.

    This bad boy * taps roof * can hold 1,024 bytes.

    A FULL 1k of memory. And a tape drive to load and save it on.

  16. The Rite Of The Monkey Cat Sleeve


    What you'll need.

    - Coffee (Strong with milk and two sugar)

    - Shatter (2 grams one indica one sativa, plus rig to smoke it)

    - Music ( Works best with Jpop or some Marilyn Manson set to loud)

    these three are whats needed to call me forth from the void.

    The method?

    Place the Coffee on a table next to dab rig and shatter as music plays loud say aloud three times.

    "I am a Cat meow meow meow I want a Sith lord now now now!"

    then strip off and run in circles making funny noises for approx 30 mins.

    repeat till I appear.

    Should be done in a dark small room at around midnight your time



  17. ~ Random Crap ~

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    Recent Entries

    Latest Entry

    So last night some time, I decided that I wanted to go back to sleep :sleepy:. Every time I turned my back away I would hear muffled foot steps or some sort of movement. Which as your usual response <_< you'd turn around to see what it was :huh:. I was expecting either one of the cats or the dog but I didn't see anything at this point :o.

    From there I kept on tossing and turning in bed :angry: and every now and then I would see this rapid shadow figure moving in front of the fireplace. For now let's call it "that thing", anyways whatever "that thing"  was it hadn't quick manifest itself fully to completely Identify its full figure. But whatever "that thing" was it creeped me the **** out :ph34r:.

    I finally gotten to sleep yeah, in the dream I recall walking up to the wall of this building outside. It was made out of sandstone bricks *I think!* on this wall someone write a message along the lines of:

    "Messages doesn't always work on EVP. Don't try it."

    Whoever write it used like a tiny black stone or pebble because you could see all the attempts the person made to make this message noticeable upon the wall. In the morning I looked up the dream meaning for EVP, believe it or not couldn't find jackshit on that. For those who don't know what a EVP is, its a device used to record voices of spirits that aren't heard easily.

    Just before church I decided to use my Pendulum to figure out what "that thing" was and if it influenced this dream. I received yes for both. After church *about 1pm noon* I started making a vlog for my YTC about this experience where I recorded me using the Pendulum and using Tarot for more in depth info. I've also been meaning to draw what I saw in the dream about the message as well. So if there's any update I'll publish it.

  18. Tales from the Mist

    Goddess of the Mist
    Latest Entry


    Better watch yourself

    he’s just playing with you

    saying all those words you want to hear

    not one of them true


    Holy roller, business owner, multimillionaire

    you’ve been on the road of heartbreak

    he’s the answer to your prayer

    Philanthropist, romanticist, sex god love affair

    he’s everything a man can be

    now you’re tangled in his lair


    That sickly, nagging feeling

    Is he really who he seems?

    Is he just an online fantasy,

    or the answer to your dreams?


    Time will tell and things will show

    he’s played this game before

    with her and her and her and her

    and everyone you know


    Disappointment and resentment

    feelings you know well

    Still it doesn’t seem to matter

    your guard’s a fragile shell


    Letting go and moving on; it isn’t really hard

    the disillusioned disenchantment

    of a heart already scarred


    Sometimes you still wonder just who he really is

    was that even his real name

    but if he’s everything he said he was

    he wouldn’t play this game

  19. geminigirly43

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    When i lie down to go to sleep and my eyes r closed the white part of my eyes roll to the front of my face and i see a whole seniero its like a play or even a skit and the whole event is like its in a bubble and im watching it and its usally about people i care about or about people i know and these skits ill call them its either about death or bad events thats gonna happen to them and i see and watch the whole thing how it happens, like whose in it who did it , but i dont know when the events happen .and after its all done i fade away and fall asleep. and i have other things happen dont know what to call it but...i could be standing next to someone and my chest gets completly hot like on fire and ill just blurt out, oh my god! something bads gonna happen to you ! but i dont know what or when.                or i can have insticts of money like in my visions when im sleeping i see like scratch offs the winners on what im gonna win and what the scratch off is gonna look like like i had one where the scratch off was a bingo and it was 4 corners and i had bought a bingo one time and it was a 4 corner bingo but i thought i seen this before it happened .now these visions im having dont happen all the time but when they do there very true,powerful,i dont know weather to call it a gift,  or ???? so if someone out there has similarities please blog me and tell me what the heck is happening to me oh and this my first blog ever i dont know much abot blogging or internet or computers for that matter so please be patient with me learning as i go... just need some input thanks                                                                                                                                                                                         Geminigirly

  20. Alan Copeland

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    Bill Eever
    Latest Entry

    Hello everyone

    My name is Alan, I am 71 years old and I live in Tiverton Devon with my partner Jenny. I have worked all my life since the age of 15 as a carpenter. In my life I have had a number of experiences which although not mind boggling in themselves seem to defy any logical explanation, they are also different from each other in that they do not share a common thread or theme. The first one occurred  at age 15 and the last at about age 57. Only I can vouch for my own honesty  sincerity and integrity when describing these occurrences.                                                                                        I have an excellent long term memory and have often thought of these events as years went by, I would like to share them with you now, my reasons for doing so are to initiate in people the belief that we as human beings are not alone in our lives and existence and that when our lives and existence on this earth ends that that does not mean the end of our spiritual existance. My experiences have instilled in me an unshakeable and absolute knowledge that these lives that we live and share are just a small part of a much longer journey to who knows what or where. I welcome all comments both positive or critical.

    When I was 14 my grandfather  died, this was my dad's  dad. My grandparents lived about half an hour by bus from my home.  Along with my parents, my younger brother and four younger sisters, I would visit my grandparents house every Sunday afternoon without fail to meet up with my three uncles and one Aunty plus my cousin Peter who is one year older than me. It was always a happy time and after Sunday tea we would return home by 7pm.

    One Friday afternoon I was at my grandparents house, I can not remember why. It was most unusual as it was a school day and only a matter of months before I left school for the last time. For the last hour of this visit my grandfather and myself sat side by side on the front doorstep, although I do not remember the details I know we talked almost non stop, it was a happy hour spent with him, my grandfather was very fond of me and always made a fuss of me. We were just passing time waiting for the 82 bus to Windy Nook which was only a ten minute walk from my home. About five minutes  before I left my grandfather pressed a sixpence into my hand and said " There you are son, you can get yourself some sweets " soon after that I was gone, I did not know that I would never see him again and made the uneventful journey home.

    Two days later, it was Sunday morning about 10.30 and my parents were beginning the early preparations for Sunday lunch. Two of my dads younger  brothers my uncle Norman and uncle Alan arrived unexpectedly and clearly in distress, they told my dad that their dad had died of a suspected heart attack, my grandad was sixty three when he died. I remember very little of the rest of the day except that I was left to look after my younger siblings while my parents went away with my two uncles, returning a few hours later. When my grandads funeral took place the adults decided that I should not attend as it would be to distressing for me, I was hugely relieved I could not have imagined myself going to anyones funeral much less my own grandad.  After a couple of weeks things returned to normal and continued to be so for several months until I left school three weeks before my fifteenth birthday.

    Two days after leaving school I started  work as an apprentice carpenter, although I had to wait until my 16th birthday to begin my official five year apprenticeship. I loved the learning process and the job itself, I still do and still work now fifty six years later. 

    After the death of my grandfather  the weekly  visits to my grandmothers house hand come to an abrupt end. Several months went by, I would guess about eight, I resumed the visits on my own. I had changed from a fourteen year old schoolboy  into a more confident and muscular  teenager a few months from my sixteenth birthday, these changes were the result of spending my days working with men who were teaching me my trade. I admired and respected them a lot and they responded well to my obvious willingness to learn, the work was physically  demanding  too, carrying long roofing timbers and sheets of plywood was an everyday occurrence and I loved all of it. It was a very happy time for me, outside of work playing football and reading were my two main passions.

    It was in this relaxed and carefree scenario that I resumed my visits  to my grandmothers house on Sundays, but now the reason for going was to spend time with my cousin Peter as well as visiting my grandmother. I had no unease or qualms at all about resuming these visits and looked forward to them every week  I had quickly adjusted to the passing away of my grandfather and accepted it as part of lifes natural cycle. I think it took about six weeks after he died to adjust to the fact that I would never see him again  and I did feel the loss. I regarded him as someone who had cared a lot about me. However when I resumed my visits I was in carefree mode with no concerns at all. Since the age of about ten or eleven I had also been part of a group of five close friends we did a lot together  such as caddying at the local golf course, football, taking up archery and making our own bows and arrows as well as in recent months collectively  taking an interest in girls.

    Since resuming my visits  to my grandmothers  house I had made four or five weekly visits, all of them relaxed and uneventful. A pattern had emerged in that on each of these Sunday nights just before 6.00 PM my grandmother and her lifelong friend Mrs  porritt who lived next door would take themselves off to a local club for a few drinks and several games of bingo, returning at about 10.pm. Peter and I would then spend most of the next two hours either reading magazines watching a bit of TV or talking before I caught the 8.00 pm number 82 bus to Windy Nook and home. One particular Sunday night having followed this normal routine  the clock had moved on to about 7.45, Peter and I were in our Grandmothers kitchen where there was a back door through which you could access the yard and the outside toilet, all of these houses at that time had an outside toilet. Grandmothers toilet was about five or six yards from the back door and then up four stone steps and the wooden door of the toilet was then on the left. I told Peter in the kitchen that I had to go  the toilet before going to the bus stop which was about a 150 yards walk from the front door of the house, I also asked  him if he would get two magazines which I had asked him earlier in the evening if I could borrow, he said he would.

    I walked through the yard and up the steps I was in an entirely relaxed  mood and anticipating the bus ride home as well as arriving home in time to spend a couple of hours with my family, especially my two sisters  who were closest to me in age being born less than two years apart.. I entered the toilet and spent about three minutes or so in there, as I was about to open the door and leave, the most remarkable and simultaneously  terrifying thing happened.                                        The unmistakable voice of my grandfather spoke to me from the area above and behind my head and this is what he said                                                                         " Alan, don't be afraid son, I want to tell you something that will help you in your life" I was so shocked and frightened, I pushed the door open and took the four stairs in one leap almost stumbling on landing, the back door was open and I just ran, Peter my cousin was in the kitchen. I can not imagine what kind of an image I portrayed, Peter was completely startled by my appearance, indeed he looked frightened himself, he stood in front of me and kept asking me what was wrong and what had happened. I could not tell him, I was still trying to get my thoughts and myself in order over what had just happened. I told him that I was ok and that nothing had happened, it was obvious by his manner that he did not believe me but I could not tell him because I thought that it would frighten him further and it was partly due to the fact that I did not want to appear foolish in relating such an implausible occurrence. I left quickly, I just wanted to get home to familiar surroundings and my family but little did I know that on this day that my grandad was not finished with me yet.

    Twenty minutes on the bus and a ten minute walk cleared my head and by the time I arrived home I was back to my normal self although still turning the events of the past hour over and over in my mind. At this time my brother and I shared a double bed in the back bedroom of our house. I went to bed at about 10.30 and my thoughts had turned to work the next day. I was working on the construction of a new school which was a mere five minutes walk from my house. I loved the variety of carpentry tasks that were part of my job.

    I had not been in bed very long, ten minutes or so, my brother Raymond was asleep. I was lying on my left hand side facing the wall with my brother In front of me I was wide awake we were the only two in the room and the door was closed. Without warning I felt the unmistakable pressure of a hand closing on my right shoulder, I froze with terror, if anything this was much worse than what had happened three hours earlier. The hand on my shoulder was insistent but gentle repeatedly pulling my right shoulder back in an effort to get me to turn around, I was rigid with fear but the hand kept pulling, I heard a voice somewhere within me telling me not to be afraid but the voice was not mine, the pressure of the hand on my shoulder increased without actually hurting me, in my head I could hear myself saying no no no leave me alone please leave me alone, the hand and the pressure on my shoulder stopped. I have not the slightest doubt that this was my grandad.

    for about the next ninety minutes I could not sleep at all, going over and over these two events in my mind.  Sheer emotional exhaustion  took me to sleep and I awoke next morning to broad and bright daylight and felt fine but perhaps still quiete a bit unnerved by it all but within forty eight hours or so I was the same as as I ever was. I had no further communication from my grandad,from time to time some years later I would sometimes think about it and wonder what it was that my grandad wanted to tell me. There have been times in my life when I would have welcomed advice from someone or a spirit not of this world but then I think that most people might think the same.

    forty three years later I received  a visit from another spirit, another family member. On that occasion I had no fear at all. In between there have been other strange occurrences not connected to the spirit world. In scale they are almost irrelevant or inconsequential  but nevertheless less take a lot of explaining 

    I am sure that a lot of people having read this blog will offer the opinion that this was no more than hallucination  or a vivid imagination. These views are to be respected and warrant no less creedence  than my own views or of those  people who's  views are the same as mine. If the events described here were the only experience of such matters I had ever had then it would be difficult to counter the suggestion of hallucination, but that is not the case. In closing I would just like to say once again that I am essentially a very honest person. The experiences I have had are without any doubt at all real. I can not understand or explain them Other than these events happening to me at the times they did, each of them years apart I have never had any interest at all in the paranormal, it has never even formed part of my reading material which is almost exclusively non fiction with the backbone of it being Biographical 

    Thank you for taking the trouble to read my blog

    Alan Copeland        AKA Bill Eever ( believer )


    My first blog entry, in fact my first blog ever was about my Grandad and his two attempts to communicate with me on the same evening, this would have been in 1962.  My next experience which left me puzzled and with a question unresolved to this day took place in 1965 / 1966. It was fleeting, all over in less than five minutes. It was something I have very rarely spoken about , no more than two or three times in over fifty years, I think this is because it is probably the experience which would invite the most scepticism / disbelief. So once again I find myself having to vouch for my own honesty  integrity and accuracy in relating this very odd occurrence.

    A dream, or something more profound !

    We were four good mates, myself   Dave Levee   Frankie McGee and Eddie Ruddick. We were all about eighteen and had been mates since childhood. Funny how friendships are formed sometimes, I met Frankie McGee one day in our local park when we were about ten we both ran from different directions for the one swing that was not being used, we got there at the same time and both grabbed it in a matter of seconds we were scrapping over it, throwing punches for all we were worth over a swing. Just when I thought I might be going to get the upper hand his big brother Eddie pulled us apart and made us shake hands.we became best friends for the next twelve years and never had another cross word between us.  So on this night some time in 1965 the four of us had gone to Low Fell. Low Fell was great it had five or six great pubs three or four nice places to eat some nice shops and a snooker and pool hall with fifteen tables. It was midweek I know, probably a Thursday night and we had been playing snooker for a couple of hours. When we finished we walked to the bus stop which was outside the Gateshead Arms pub, it was still early about 8.30 PM. Right next to the Gateshead Arms pub was St John's Roman Catholic Church. In all the time we had been using that bus stop the church had always been closed and in darkness, but this night it was lit up and there was music coming from within and the sound of kids laughing. There was a wide pathway which led from street level where we were up and around to the double arched doors of the church.              Someone suggested that we go up and have a look so we did. There was a lady sitting on a chair with a small table just inside the door. We asked if we could come in and she said we were welcome to do so, there was a small charge which we paid. She explained that it was a youth  club for kids of fifteen and older, that soft drinks and light snacks were available and asked if we would be polite and not to noisy.   We made our way to the back of the church hall where there were several  long wooden benches. The benches were long enough for all four of us to sit side by side on one of them,I was on the right hand side as we looked out at the main group of kids dancing in the centre of the large church hall. There was a temporary counter with tables behind where soft drinks and sandwiches etc were available. My best mate at that time Frankie McGee was on my left, then Dave Levee and Eddie Ruddick on the other end.                                                           We sat quietly watching but not saying very much at all, we had only came in because the lights and the music we heard had roused our curiosity  and as it was early and the buses were frequent we probably intended it as no more than half hour diversion before we continued home. The girls outnumbered the boys by at least three to one but most of them were at least two to three years younger than ourselves although still attractive to the casual observer.

    even now after all these years it is still difficult to put into words what happened next but I will try to present it as best as I can. I was quietly watching the group  of about twenty people on the dancefloor, then in my mind over a period I would say of between five and ten seconds the realisation came to me that this scene in front of me was familiar, not just the scene but the people in it. As the seconds ticked by the feeling of having seen this before intensified I could see a girl, taller than most of the others with straight long blonde hair below her shoulders with a very distinctive coloured dress on, deep wine coloured red with gold braided across her chest, then another person I recognised stepping up to the counter to buy something then two or three other individuals also familiar, I was beginning to anticipate their movements before they made them because I had experienced this scene before. During these seconds as they unfolded I felt almost disorientated and very unnerving trying to make sense out of what was happening. And then in an instant it came to me, it was a dream I had had, about three weeks previously. I was struggling to cope with the enormity of it I was still  only eighteen and not emotionally or mentally equipped to deal with it.I thought about the dream still while watching these unfolding events and I remembered that at some point in the dream a gang of lads had run into the church hall and started hitting people indiscrimminately  and in the dream when it happened I was in the Church Hall with Frankie Dave and Eddie.                                                    It is difficult to relate the sense of disbelief I felt at that time, that here I was in real time re living a dream in presice  detail which I had dreamt of some weeks previously, but real it was. Almost instinctively I turned and pushed Frankie forcefully  with both hands and shouted to all three of them " we have to get out of here now straight away"  they must have been startled  by this very uncharacteristic and intense outburst because as one they just turned and walked very quickly to the door and ran down the ramp to the bus stop. Almost in unison they asked me what was the matter, what had happened to make me behave like that. Once again and for the same reason as with my cousin Peter I could not tell them, it would have sounded preposterous telling three lads that I had had a dream three weeks ago that we were in this church hall and that everything that had happened in the church was exactly as happened in my dream, I could not even make up a reason fictitious  or otherwise not to tell them I could not think of anything other than that you could have a dream about something that would happen in the future, exact in every detail. So said the only thing I could, I just said something really very very strange happened and I can not tell you about it. They were not happy about it but we were close friends and there was a bond between us. They knew clearly that it was not a poor attempt  af a joke they knew that on this matter at least I was very serious but at other times I could jome and display impromptu humour at the drop of a hat as they say, or when the occasion demanded, they also knew me well enough and for long enough not to press me on what had happened so they just let it go.             It bothered me for the whole of the following week, such a profound and inexplicable  experience.  In urging them to get out of the church quickly It was because I had expected the arrival of the gang of troublemakers  at any moment, I had expected to meet them on the ramp as we ran from the church or to see them arrive as we waited at the bus stop while we waited for our bus, but I never saw them at all. So that part of the premonition  did not come true. The girl in the dress and other people present were exactly the same people I had seen in my dream, from the moment I realised that I was actually watching events that I had dreamed of then for a minute or so before we ran out I was able to anticipate what they were going to do next, so that part was all true, no hallucination  no imagination all true. In the following days I was expecting at any time to hear via local gossip of of a disturbance or incident happening at the church after we got on the bus, I never did. In Gateshead where I lived and grew up at that time, we had a local paper, The Gateshead Post which came out once a week on Fridays so in the following week I waited to buy the paper and fully expecting to find in there a report or small mention of a disturbance or of anti social behaviour at St John's church on Low Fell but there was nothing at all.                                                I fully stand by what I saw and experienced in the church hall, I absolutely expect that there will be many skeptics and can understand that but for me, following on the death of my grandfather and the experience which followed that,  I was in the early stages at the age of eighteen of realising that all is not so simple on this earth we all share as it appears to be. There are invisible boundaries all around us and boundaries between time as well as physical  life and spiritual  existence  which can and do get crossed from one side to the other.                                        After this incident in the church I went about my life in the same way as everyone else, growing up and as an adult experiencing joy hope pain regrets hope and anger,  this took me to 1994 / 1995 when  I had another life questioning experience at the age of about 48. Just for fun I shall call it,   Fortune lost



  21. Impedancer
    Latest Entry

    Many of you might wonder what Krav Maga is that I practise?. the martial art system was developed by Imi Lichtenfeld (former boxer and wrestler) who made use of his martial art skills to defend the Jewis quarter against fascist groups in Bratisalva during the second world war.  following his migration to Israel in the late 1940s he started to provide lessons on combat training for the Israel military Defense Forces which was later developed into Krav Maga. The orginal concept was to take the most effective simpel and practical techniques of other fighting systems to make them rapidly teachable to military conscripts to make them in relativly short time battle ready. the system derived from a combination of techniques taken from Boxing, Wrestling, Akido, Judo and Karate etc and is know for its for its focus on real-world situations and extreme efficiency. It was secret until 1968 and became popular among most Special Forces and Armies and Police forces across the world which later became taught by some martial art gyms. Students learn simultaneous defensive and offensive maneuvers and to defend against all variety of attacks on the ground in tight spaces, in darkness, with several attackers and are taught (most importantly) to avoid physical confrontation If this is impossible or unsafe, it promotes finishing a fight as quickly and aggressively as possible and to get away from the situation, Attacks are aimed at the most vulnerable parts of the body and there is no rules in Krav Maga.   

    What makes it fun to practice KM is all the boxing and the various techniques plus the friendship you get and that everyone strives to make each other better. got this question once how do you spar?. do you beat the crap out of each other? like you usually see in movies?.When you spar you dont hit your opponent with full force, you stop your punch just before it lands otherwise boxers wouldn´t learn anything and they would not be able to go matches.you spar for the following reasons you want to improve each others skills and to have fun, you want to do your best to ("win") yes but at the same time you have to adapt to your opponents level and still make it hard for him if you feel you constantly have the advantage, its all about giving and taking.  I also got this question once: when you spar dont you ever get angry when hit? No an angry fighter is a bad fighter, i do get frustrated and angry at myself sometimes when i do simple mistakes or get too tired to spar properly, stay focused stay on your game. Do you recommend km to eveyone ? I recommed it to everyone if you haven´t tried it you should give it a go! !Dont you have to be extremely fit?. It´s not bad to resonably fit if you´re not you will get in shape in no time plus have fun.

    Do you have any good self defense tips?: Yes! firstly Join your local KM club or boxing, thai boxing club. Secondly: when your out in town avoid looking at your mobile phone, look up instead and walk like you owned the place. If you do get attacked do everything  you can to get away from the sutiation defend yourself scream and be as agressive as you can and never give up!!!. If someone starts to pick on you in lets say a bar, simply go to another bar with your mates dont stick around, if the person starts to get threatening and you feel the situation is getting out of hand scream as loud as you can .BACK OFF!!, STOP!! this is what the law enforcement do and it will attract peoples attention if he then attacks you, you have a given him a warning and a good reason to defend yourself which will not be in his favour in court. And remember the first rule of Krav Maga avoid physical confrontation at all cost, never put yourself in a dangerous situation, stay out of trouble!!!.



  22. A Career of Me

    Whatching my boys today, I can’t help but start thinking about parenting as I start this process of optimization. Out of everything that I want to get right in this world, It’s being a father. They really are my world, yet at the same time, I know I have to make my own world to be true to me too if I’m going to be my best for them. 

    I never put them in day care. My wife works full time, and owning the school, I didn’t work until the evening. When my first was born, I was the ripe old age of 27. I strapped the kid to my back, learned how to change diapers on the go, blend baby food, manage blow outs, and sleep when he slept.

    My wife has a busy corporate career, so he even came with me to the dojo. People all around town, that didn’t already know me, started to identify me as the young guy that took his baby everywhere. I was fine with this. I was young, strong, and I had such a clear focus. I knew kids that were close with their parents grew up more emotionally stable and intelligent, so I did what it took not to have someone else nurturing him. 

    It worked. Now he is a bright, intelligent, and compassionate beautiful 13 year old. Sorry ladies no sexism intended, but sometimes behind  his back, I call him my girl because he is so sweet and compassionate. We really are very close, and he is a big time dady’s boy. 

    Then came another, and a few years latter another. This is where I mark the beginnings of a few of my own personal struggles. I had to drop out of being on the US sport jiujitsu team. The training, the school, two babies at that time were just too much.  I compensated by my long solo trips into the wilderness and meditation, but really my pace was taking to much out of me. I just couldn’t see it. I really felt that I was the master of my universe and nothing could stop me. 

    Anyway... I didn’t want this entry to be a history lesson, but I did it with all three of my boys. I kept them with me. Learning from me, training in martial arts, and we were obsorbing each other. I’m very close to all three of them, and sometimes it breaks my heart just because they are growing and each phase is impermenant. 

    Of course, at the same time  all of that was happening, I was going through deep psycho spiritual episodes. I have another blog here that I was writing during some of that. Looking back, I wonder if it were to much. Maybe I should have asked for help. 

    Anyway, going forward now, I’m wondering how to maintain this role I have taken on in their lives. They are starting to do more and more on their own, but when I choose a new careeer, am I going to have to be like normal dads? Like my wife? She dosnt get home till 7pm. When I was teaching I wasn’t home myself in the evening, but they were actually with me a lot of the time. Leaving the dojo behind has disrupted how we all live. We will still be training twice a week, but I can’t help but worry where this is headed. 

    I don’t just want our short time on this earth in this capacity to be “normal.” I have been fortunate enough to give them an amazing and adventurous child hood so far. How do I continue? How do I make it better? 

    Now that they are older, they bicker more, I snap at them more, and things are not as pure as when they were little. Me and my middle child butt heads all the time. He is a great kid, but along with the freedom I give them, there are some very strict rules about respect and behavior. He wants to challenge me on those, and I don’t always respond in the way I think my higher self wants me to. How do I reel in my reactions? How do I keep the vision I have for them remembering not just a childhood, but a grand experience growing up? How do I work on myself during all this? 

    My mind mills and churns over it so much, I have actually had to start listening to audio books and podcasts with my blue tooth headset simply to drown out my own inner voice. My inner voice simply won’t shut up. I can quiet it during meditation, but the only thing that helps when I’m going about my day is to drown it in information and learning. 

    Optimizing parenthood may be one of the most challenging things I have ever attempted. I have faced down cage fighters, large wild animals, a few abusive psychos, and even stood my ground against what people would call demons and devils, but screwing this up scares the hell out me.

    Thanks for reading. 




  23. newbloodmoon
    Latest Entry

    So I recently joined a writing site that wasn’t associated in any way with some of the things I’ve had published. I thought that I would post stories on there that I would consider to be my seconds. They’re not quite polished or are stories that didn’t quite fit what I wanted to submit.

     I have two stories in to set up kind of what I would like to do. Put stuf out there that isn’t quite my best but was still fun too write.  I will soon post the url so people can go scope them out. Stay tuned for those who wanna check it out.