Our community blogs
Attention: Humans by Marco M. Pardi mpardi.com
"People in our culture have a morbid tendency to avoid blame, because they do not wish to take the trouble to change their conduct in any way: blame-avoidance and blame-transference are therefore endemic amongst us. These are substitutes for repentance and renewal."
BEHAVIOR RESEARCH PROJECT (Texas) 1951
"Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."
The Dalai Lama
He who cannot dance claims the floor is uneven. Hindu saying.
All comments welcome and provided a response.
Humans, we recently became aware that one or more of your number published a plea that you no longer refer to solitary mass murderers as "lone wolves". While we wolves have not seen this publication and therefore cannot give it due credit, we, the wolves, wish to enhance the theme with information and thoughts by which you, with your self declared intellectual superiority might benefit.
First, we remind you that you are animals. Oh? Think not? What are you then, plants? Stones? We find it curious that an animal which bristles at being called an animal uses so many comparisons to other animals. You say someone eats like a pig, is stubborn as a mule, reproduces like rabbits, and drinks like a fish. Yet you say someone is brave as a lion, has a memory like an elephant, is agile as a mountain goat, sly as a fox, wise as an owl, and noble as an eagle. Even one of your classic civilizations credited us. Remember the legend of the two infant brothers raised by one of our female wolves? Of course, when the boys grew up Romulus murdered Remus and went on to found Rome. We suspect we should have seen that coming. But doubtless you can think of more examples.
Second, as animals you, like any other species of plant or animal exist only through the relationship you have with your environment. Sure, you have developed endless technology to intervene between you and the normal variations and processes in "nature". But in truth, you are the Apex Invasive Species, you are the Apex Predator on this planet. You have spread your teeming masses to every livable continent on this planet, despoiling everywhere including Antarctica. Your "pesticides" are found in the body fat of almost every species no matter where they are. You claim to need these pesticides to assure your crops. Yet every year you throw out millions of tons of food before it ever reaches the market. Why? It's not aesthetically pleasing. Or, you want to ensure high prices. Your plastics are found in the dead bodies of animals you will never see.
You came into our forests, thriving ecosystems for a broad spectrum of biodiversity, and you stripped them bare for an extremely narrow ecosystem you know as pastureland to raise cattle and sheep, animals which require huge amounts of fresh water and which emit even larger volumes of deadly methane gas. You then force these animals into slaughter houses where, if they are subject to your religious laws such as kosher or halal, you slit their throats and let them stagger around in their own blood until they collapse. Of course, most of you don't do this; you allocate the dirty work to butchers who will wrap the meat in pretty packages for you. You cannot stomach the reality of getting food for yourself. You eat some and throw the rest away. Our cousins, the coyotes, have long known they can subsist entirely on the dumpsters outside your restaurants and fast food joints.
You came into our forests to kill us when in fact you destroyed our food source and laid out a buffet of cattle and sheep we had little choice but to take our sustenance from. You gas our dens to kill our children so they will not grow up to sustain the balance with our prey animals such as deer and elk, animals you want to kill for your own amusement or because, having killed their natural predator they have become overpopulated. You claim hunting is to "put meat on the table" when the money you spent on a hunting vehicle, fuel, high powered rifle and ammunition, hunting license and tags would keep meat from the local grocery store on your table for many months if not years. No, you just enjoy feeling the power of killing an unarmed animal as in those "canned hunts" so popular in States like Texas. You kill an average of 96 African elephants a day, taking the ivory for trinkets and leaving the animal to rot. You kill scores of rhinos yearly taking only the horn the powder of which you think will make your pitiful penises erect. You de-fin live sharks, leaving them to die a miserable death of starvation while you cook the fins for soup. You torture bulls to death, even setting their horns on fire for your amusement. And, sadly, the list goes on.
You raise populations of fur bearing animals, including "Man's best friend", in cages to electrocute them for your fur trimmed fashion garments and soft gloves made from dog skin.
You "introduced" us (we call it "returned" us) into parts of the northwest United States to show how good you are, how ecologically advanced you are. What happened? The ecosystem quickly began recovering. Streams that had become fast moving torrents yielding flash flooding and unsuitable conditions for fish, beavers, and a multitude of other animals began returning to a state which supports the balance of life. How so? After you had trapped and shot us to near extinction the deer and elk were then free to wade into the wetlands, where they had been vulnerable to us as they sank a bit into the mud, and eat the young shoots growing there. Those shoots would have grown into the plants that stabilized the stream, keeping it from eroding the banks and making the water unlivable and dangerous. As we returned, the deer and elk avoided those young shoots and the streams returned to a livable ecosystem. And now you want to trap, gas, and shoot us again.
Recently one of your "intelligent" hunters shot and killed a family therapy dog from ten feet away. He claimed he thought it was one of us. Apparently his only familiarity with us comes from the Big Bad Wolf type cartoons you scare your children with, just as the only familiarity so many of your self-styled "cowboys" have with cattle is the drawing of Elsie on their milk carton.
We know of no other animal which kills for enjoyment on the scale you do. You even kill each other in massive numbers. You gut programs that help people live healthy and educated lives in favor of programs to develop even deadlier weapons for killing each other. No other animal on the face of this Earth is so consumed by and dedicated to the mass extermination of its own kind. No other animal on the face of this Earth claims divine sanction from some spiritual being as the justification for exterminating people who do not believe in or worship this particular being.
For these reasons and many more we, the wolves, demand you cease and desist from calling your murderers, whether killers of a few or killers of many, "lone wolves". That is a despicable slander against our good name and against our long standing place in nature. In fact, we can think of no greater slander than calling one of us "human".
I was born in Lexington Kentucky, and raised (during my early years) in a satellite town just outside of Lexington called Georgetown, where most of my family is from. My mother was a elementary school teacher, while my father worked for the local water treatment plant. They met due to my grandmother (my mother's mother) working as a receptionist at the water plant. My parents married in 1989, I was born in 1993, and they divorced in 1995. I don't even hardly remember them being together. They were both in their mid to late upper 30's when they had me, and I was their only child.
My mother is an exceptional woman. She was raised as a Baptist preacher's kid which was of course, an incredibly abusive home. She was the oldest of three, and was the one child that for some reason got the full brunt of all the physical and verbal abuse of her father. Of course on the outside to the general public he was a model citizen, yet in the home he was an abusive hypocrite. Her mother on the other hand, was more simply another victim, yet her silence in the face of this abuse was still essentially compliance nonetheless. Yet despite her situation in the home, she was able to greatly excel greatly in school. School was her only safe place, where she could excel and be rewarded for her efforts, as opposed to back home which was torture. She loved school. So much so, that as far back as she could remember she decided that she wanted to be a school teacher. Never did she ever consider anything else. Schooling was her life, and she would later go on to put herself through college and get a masters degree + in childhood education. She got herself a job without anyone else's assistance. She had to learn how to act like an adult in the grown world and to fend for herself at an early age, since her parents were never any real advocates who would be there to look out for her. My mother dedicated her life to inspiring and helping young children. Because of her tremendous success in the face of adversity, she holds others to the highest standards. I can honestly say in all the years that I've known her, that she has not once ever lied, ever cheated, and has always abided by the rules. She's never even had a single speeding ticket. All of this isn't to say that she's somehow 'perfect'. My mother isn't without flaws (and trust me, there are plenty. Mostly due to her abuse as a child, and the horribly traumatic experiences she's had along with me over the years), but the point I wish to emphasize here is that she is the very definition of a survivor. She's good hearted (even though she has her moments that I'll explain more about later), is extremely intelligent, and has a strong will with a capacity to succeed. She has always been the one advocate I've ever had in my life. Without her, there'd have been no way I ever could've survived.
My father on the other hand is a different story. My father was raised in a situation far worse than my mother was. More so I'm guessing than any of us will ever truly know. Whereas my mother's father was a religious hypocrite, my father's father was just about the lowest thing that ever crawled out from under a rock. At least my mother's father pretended to be a moral upstanding citizen. My father's father on the other hand was unapologetically open about his lecherous behavior. He was proud of it. (in fact I would even possibly go so far as to say he was a complete sociopath) My grandfather was a wife beater, who never worked a day in his life, proudly said "that's what I have the b**** here for", was an open racist who never referred to a black person as anything other than the 'N' word, physically and verbally (possibly even sexually, we don't really know) abused his children (specifically my father), and despite all of this was somehow never on drugs or alcohol and grew up in a kind loving family (once again, possibly just born a sociopath). I don't know my father's true history since he rarely would ever talk about it, but what I do know is that he was abused in numerous was by his father all through the years, and never received any assistance for it. My father absolutely 'loved' his mother though, who constantly coddled him and 'took care of him' all growing up.
Now, as for my father himself, there's a lot that happens to be a major mystery about him. As to what exactly 'caused' his behaviors that I'm about to express to you, I don't truly know. I don't think this can simply all be blamed on the abuse he suffered, as we are all ultimately responsible for our own actions. Nevertheless, there are a number of possible contributing factors about him that should be taken into consideration. I'll merely describe his behaviors themselves, and mention some possible causes. Just keep in mind, these possible causes are not definitive. Having said that, lets move on...
My father had an explosive temper. He never became physically violent, but he would brake things, throw things, pin people down and yell at them, and scream till he got red in the face. And these outbursts of his could easily be brought on by the most mundane things. There were numerous times in which he showed absolutely no signs of empathy towards other people. (i.e. he got angry when I was a baby at my crying so he nearly chocked me to death by stuffing tons of bread to my throat to shut me up, laughed hysterically when he taught me at the age of two 'how to shoplift' from Wal-Mart, was obsessed with revenge and getting even with people and would set out to destroy their lives in any way possible and would haunt them till the day they die, etc.) Now, my mother thought that he was just lazy and incompetent (possibly due to his own lazy and incompetent father), but at the same time he showed signs of possibly suffering from something else. Like I said previously, we don't really know. What we do know however, was that he had extreme difficulty remembering and following directions at work, and in doing chores at home, and in keeping up with basic things like bills and other typical adult errands. It wasn't just that he was lazy (don't get me wrong, he was lazy, but there seemed to be more to it then that), as he showed numerous signs of simply having mental difficulty keeping up with and completing basic tasks. And it certainly wasn't intelligence, cause if you engaged him on the right topic he'd quickly be able to show above average levels of intelligence. Yet of course these same problems carried over into his schooling as well. This is why my mother and I (and a number of psychologists) have considered him to have possibly been born with a strong case of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), on top of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). He was officially diagnosed at one point with Explosive Personality Disorder (EPD), but other things that have been considered are Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Sociopathy.
Now beyond all of that, my father was also a tremendous nerd. And I mean NERD. I'm talkin' old-school nerd, before nerd became somewhat cool. He loved all things superhero's, comic books, etc. He was a tremendous Star Wars / Star Trek fan, and loved everything Science Fiction and Fantasy. But most of all, he LOVED movies. He considered himself a 'movie enthusiast' and a 'movie collector'. He always had an entire wall of his house (biggest wall he could find near the TV) with shelves and shelves stacked full to the brim with movies. He would spend countless hours just sitting down obsessively watching movies (and TV shows btw, but mostly movies), and if anyone ever tried to break him away from it and bring him back into the real world to deal with any real world problems, that's when he would lose it and go into one of his explosive tantrums. He was a total Escapist. For those that don't know, an escapist is someone who in some way tries to 'mentally escape' into 'another world' in their head. It's basically what nerds do when they 'play pretend' in their minds and imagine themselves in whatever fictional world they (or someone else) dream up. In many cases, this is brought on as a learned defense mechanism in order for abuse victims to 'mentally escape' an otherwise inescapable situation. Of course at the same time we all do it to an extent whenever we go watch a movie or read a book, it's just a bit more extreme in these cases. So that is essentially my father.
Still with me so far? Because we've only scratched the surface. So now that my parent's stories are outta the way, on to my own back story in the next entry...
I always have two feelings every day no matter what I'm going through at any given moment. A feeling that something negative is going to happen, and the need to be ready for it. I feel like many of the events that are happening in my life mixed with the knowledge I've gained only strengthens this idea. I mean if it were up to me completely I would live the rest of my days somewhere comfortable with my life just enjoying being with her but I feel like even she proves it. She is so strong even physically Its one of the things that attracts me to her so strongly. I feel like once a certain list unknown to me has been fully checked off something insane is going to happen to test our strength in survival. Or, I'm more crazy than I ever imagined and I should get on medication.
The purple dinosaur next to me silently agrees.
- Read more...
- 0 comments
Hey guys, guess who's back?
It's been a while, hasn't it. Well, today, I have something to share with you that has proof. At least 20 pieces of footage, shot on a classic Nintendo 3DS. Let me just go ahead and explain the backstory.
Two months ago, me and my family took a trip to Disney. It was a Tueday, and the rain ended up flodding the parking lot, so we stayed inside of our hotel room. I had brought my ChromeBook with me. I forget exactley what I was doing, something in my Google Drive, when I stumbled upon a backup of my old 3DS' SD Card. On it, I found footage of an event I had long forgotten.
.Me and my friends, Dylan, Jaden, and Thomas were getting ready to get our 3DS's and play some Pokemon. It turns out that Jaden had brought some of his Pokemon Cards. However, we took one look at them and noticed that something was wrong. At least 90% of the cards were fake. Some were easy to tell, as they had attacks that did ridiculous amounts of damage, or had a staggering amount of HP. Others weren't so easy, leading a small group of kids like us to call some of the real cards fake, and vice versa.
Eventually, all of us left Jaden, who had spent good money for some of those cards, over at a little area with beanbags (this was filmed at a summer camp.), while we sat at a table and discussed everything. Over the course, of that discussion, Jaden began acting very paranoid, and often left his area to interrupt our conversation. A peice of footage even shows him frantically yelling at us at one point.
(Continued Tomorrow, in Revision 2.)
- Read more...
- 0 comments
"I go about Greece and ask my fellow Greeks difficult questions."
(NOTE: Please don't take my verbose writing as my attempt to sound smart. I just like to play around with words and try to make it sound complex :P)
Be This Friday, in my Film Class...
I make my way through the labyrinth of desks to my seat, squeezing my way through students who are packed together like sardines. Settling myself down into my chair, I take a gander around the room, observing my peers. Part of my heart sinks as I observe the new classmates. These aren't the same students from last year, you see. These are newcomers who had advanced from the beginner film class they took the year before. The fact that they're newbies isn't the problem, you see. It's that the film students of yesteryear, whom I came to appreciate the presence of, had all graduated. Not only that, my previous film partners, all one grade lower than me, refused to take film class this year. To be quite frank, I don't blame them. My school's Movie Production program is favored by who I consider some of the shallowest pupils my school has to offer. By their attitude and demeanor, I can only assume that they're partaking in the program in hopes of gaining stardom among their peers, and so they can eventually admire their own self-centered faces on the big screen of our school's auditorium. I, on the other hand, enjoy film making for the sake of viewing things in different perspectives and playing with ideas. So basically, although this may sound (and most likely is) narrow minded, I feel like I'm the only innovator in a class full of narcissists.
Anyways, one of the class officers, we'll just call her Stacey, barks at us to form two separate groups. The group I'm in is ordered to go out to the school quad, for a group activity. As we settle ourselves in a circle inside this grassy space, I try to make chit chat with my fellow students. They of course, take to ignoring me. Perhaps because I'm somewhat idiosyncratic with the material and social norms of society, they see this as some sort of evil and therefore shun me for my own individualistic ways. I must assure you, that although the alluring vastness of my mind has rendered me socially maladjusted, I am not in the least unaware of my tone. Therefore, and damn me if my judgments show folly, my classmates are at this moment shrouded in stifling clouds of their own egos. I must say that I was beginning to feel flustered the more and more I thought about my classmates' bigotry.
Stacey takes out a ball of white yarn, and explains to us the rules of a very simple game. While standing in a circle, one of us takes the ball and states one of their interests. Whoever raises their hand in shared agreement gets the ball of yarn tossed to them, whilst the thrower holds on to the string as it unravels in the air. Overtime, as the yarn is passed around to one another, this forms a complex web of unbearably simple interests. As the yarn was being passed from student to student, I couldn't help but think to myself how shallow and simple-minded these people were (although I'm probably no better), after they ignored me in an attitude of arrogance that seems to have encrusted their hearts. I couldn't bear their responses: "My name's Bob and I like playing video games!" "My name's Johanna and I like to ride horses!" I decided that I'd challenge their train of thought. Once the yarn had reluctantly passed to me (by the only student in the class who seems to have any respect for me) I opened fire: "My name's (blank) and I like to pace around my room and think!"
Just so you know, I don't actually spend my time pacing around my room and thinking. Although I do frequently use music as an outlet to daydream, which causes me to go from here to there around my bedroom, since motion stimulates my thought. I said this though, to see how they'd respond. Sadly, they didn't exceed me expectations. The whole class was silent, except for a brave girl who said "Me too!", perhaps being the only one smart enough to realize it as a joke. I kid you not, my peers had absolutely no idea of what to make of my statement. It was as if their faces were saying "This isn't a part of the script!". A student to my right leaned over and told me "Just say that you like air!", like he was trying to save me from my socially awkwardness and his classmates from an abstract perspective.
Needless to say, I felt very pleased with what I said. I had introduced to my classmates' minds a different thought for once. Hopefully they'll see me as even more mysterious, and be even more careful to ignore me next time, for I don't wan't anything to do with them anyways.
Well, that's enough writing for now. Thank you for reading, my friends!
- Hi-NRG Eurobeat Man
In times of trial, I often find myself with a great desire to escape or ignore the problems I face. Although, I know this is not the best course of action, I usually feel no need to fight this desire because in the past, I have had great success with this method. In many cases, I have ignored my problems and they have resolved themselves or someone else found a solution without me even seeking help. I know my luck in this area is bound to run out eventually, but I feel like I want to test it. I want to see just how lucky I can get by ignoring even life’s greatest challenges. It seems crazy, psychotic even. But I need to know. When my luck runs out, perhaps I will begin to regard my issues in a more attentive way but until then, we shall see.
- Read more...
- 0 comments
I haven't been to UM forum in.... years? I'd have to check the dates. It's been a long time.
Off to see if it's the same science vs. religion debating, photo manipulation revealing, conspiracy theorizing, it-wasn't-a-ghost-it-was-probably-swamp-gas-from-Venus (ha!) -ing place it was back then.
Recent EntriesLatest Entry
Well it's been a while.
Not sure what made me come in. Thought of doing it many times, but so much going on.
I found a home elsewhere. They do not mock my spiritual beliefs, which is appreciated.
Still friends, offline, with a couple people I met here, all those years ago...
We think about 7 years... I think so..
Well. Still haven't even peeked into the forum. Figured I would post first.
Love too all old friends that may read this.
Recent EntriesLatest Entry
I like to practise random acts of kindness - to help make a difference. It can be anything from just making a spontaneous, passing and complimentary remark on what someone is wearing (I love the colour purple) or offering to let someone go before me in a checkout queue. Giving is its own reward - it's enough, a good feeling i.e. I don't expect anything back. So what happened here took me by surprise....
One day I was cycling down a high street when the bike chain somehow jammed/went back on itself. I duly walked the bike to the pavement, turned it upside down (sitting on its saddle) whilst I attempted to disentangle the greasy chain. I was somewhat surprised when a man offered to do this for me! (It was a dirty/oily job!) I explained that it would mean him getting his hands dirty but he didn't mind! He fixed it for me and I gratefully thanked him. He was very cheerful and didn't seem to mind that his hands were now covered in black grease, as were mine.
So I then realised I needed to get my hands clean. I saw a nearby cafe and walked the bike to these premises, thinking I could slip into their toilet and get cleaned up. With my hands so dirty, I thought I would just risk leaving my bike propped against the shop, i.e. unchained....hoping it wouldn't get stolen for the short time it took to get cleaned up. Then, to my amazement, 3 teenagers (it seemed from nowhere but, obviously, they had been watching what had occurred) approached me, smiling, and offered to watch my bike as I went in to clean up! This totally blew me away and was beyond what I could ever have expected or hoped for....it seemed so unusual and blessed! Of course I thanked them and got cleaned up.....
I was left in a state of deep appreciation and amazement.
Expressing spontaneous kindness is a growing movement....
The ever reliable Merriam-Webster defines trust thus:Quote
assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
To be sure, there are other definitions of trust, but for this particular blog post, I’m focused on the one above.
I have a friend (whom I will call Theatre Gal) who has been going to therapy for a few weeks now. It’s something she sought on her own, but is very much needed as she comes from a very problematic family, to put it nicely. On the whole, it seems that the sessions she’s had have been good ones. At least until last night. She’s had to schedule her appointments in the evening because she cannot take time off work in the middle of the day and she works in another city at least thirty minutes away (on a good day).
Last night around 7:30-ish, I receive a text from her that she’s sitting in her car angry and near tears. Through several text exchanges I got the story of what was going on. The therapist had forgotten about their appointment. I can only assume that the doctor keeps normal business hours, but returns to the office for any evening appointments. Mondays aren’t the usual day for TG to have her appointment, but last week the therapist told her that that was the only day open for the evenings. Everything else was booked.
Long story short, TG has lost faith in people when even her therapist cannot remember that they have an appointment together. They were, ironically, supposed to talk about trust issues last night, as well, so that doesn’t bode well for the future. At least in TG’s eyes. TG also stated that the therapist is always late to their appointments; 15-20 minutes late. While this is never good on a professional level, I assume that TG gets her full hour or however long their appointments usually last.
I hope that the therapy sessions do not end because of last night. I am very fond of TG and do not wish, under any circumstances, to end the friendship, but the problems she has are more than I can help her with on my own. She needs a professional to talk to, with at least one friend to give the extra support. I want to help her regarding trust, but I don’t know how. Or even if that’s something I should try taking on myself.
While I relied solely on the definition of trust from the Merriam-Webster dictionary because of the long history it has of being a reliable dictionary. However, one word I saw in other definitions that is missing from the M-W definition is reliability. I’m not sure how important that part is. Do they go together? Can you trust someone who is unreliable? Is it possible to trust a person even taking into consideration that they might not be reliable?
I just want to help her grow into the young woman I think she’s got potential to be. She’s only a little younger than I was when I started to forge my own path. It’s not too late even at 30.
Recent EntriesLatest Entry
My dad is in his mid 50s, he is, as I said in the description, a hard drug user and has been since he was 12. he has also been a diabetic since he was 4 years old and he does not take care of himself like he should. Anyway, He is stubborn and has never spoken of aliens before, he has actually made fun of my friends for believing in aliens in the past. Fast Forward to late last summer: I called my dad one night when I got off work (like usual) around 10pm. He wasn't slurring like he does when he drinks and he wasn't talking fast like he does when he is high. He sounded very normal but started talking about "people" being in his apartment he said they came in "through the walls" and that they just sat on the couch. He described them as "cool" and "interesting" I assumed he was on acid and had friends over, so I brushed it off and told him I would call him in a little bit. About an hour later I called him and he was very short with me and said he would call me back. Then just before midnight he called me and he was absolutely hysterical panting like a dog yelling at me telling me to call the cops because there were "intruders" in his apartment trying to hill him. He hung up quickly and I immediately called the police and told them he was a drug user that I thought was either high or was having a blood sugar crisis. After I hung up with them I called my dad back and he was still hysterical I told him the police were on their way and I told him I was on my way too he told me to not come there out of fear for these things following me or seeing me and trying to harm me. The police showed up and he hung up with me. About a half hour later, an officer called me and said they were taking him for a psych eval at the local hospital. He also told me that when they got into my dads apartment he was naked, sweating and swinging a large knife at them telling them there were people in his apartment. The officer said they searched his apartment and found no one. He told me to come see my dad in the morning when he had calmed down, he said my presence may upset him more than he already was. In the morning I went to the hospital and my dad, who by this time had calmed down because the nursing staff gave him downers, told me about what had happened.
He said, "These things walked through walls and into my apartment! they looked exactly like people, just like you and me. They just hung out on the couch they didnt talk, blink or nod or anything. You're gonna think in ****ing crazy but they put messages into my head to communicate with me! They were really chill and interesting at first, but then they got really upset and I got a really negative feeling and they started chasing me- I ran all the way around the neighborhood naked in the rain running from them and they followed me back to the apartment! Then they just disappeared when the police showed up! It was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me!"
He said he couldn't remember what their names were but they called them selves "something that sounded like The Couscous" (that wasn't it but he said thats what it sounded like.) He said they were there for 14 hours. Also, it did not rain that night, and my dad literally CANNOT run due to his health, he can barely walk on his own. I completely thought he was high and hallucinating. The more I thought about it and talked to him about it, even weeks later, after his high would have wore off he still fully believed it happened and he has never believed in aliens before this. A few months later it happened again. Not as bad and he said they didnt stay as long and they weren't threatening at all. Now just the other day it happened a third time! I called him and he was whispering into the phone and said he had another "intruder" and he was calling the cops. I was out of town and called my sister and brother to go over there. By the time they got there he was still freaked out but was slightly calmed down. The cops never showed up so we don't think he ever actually called them. He told my sister that he found "a kid hiding in his bathroom and it was the child of one of the visitors" when I talked to him he referred to the kid as a "stow away" He said something about how the visitors still didnt speak but they transmitted messages to him mentally and the female visitor wanted him to keep the child but he said he couldn't even take care of himself let alone a child. Then they left. He didnt seem as freaked out or threatened by these "visitors".
Can anyone please tell me if my dad is crazy or if this might actually be happening to him? I have a hard time believing it, but at the same time, I don't know where he would have gotten this kind of info from. He only has a home phone. an old school radio and a tv that only gets literally 6 channels and he has no way to get on the internet (he has literally never been on a computer or smart phone in his life.)
Here is everything I know about these things from the info he gave me, if it helps:
The first visit (i think) it was 2 or 3 males. the second visit Im unsure of gender. the third visit it was a child (unknown gender) and a female.
They walk through walls.
They don't blink, speak out loud or respond in any way. They only send messages from their mind into his.
They look exactly like humans
They don't let him listen to his radio or watch TV.
He said his cat hides when they are there.
If it happens again or he gives me any other details I will post about it. Thanks for reading and please, comment or message me if you have any idea what might be happening to my dad.
My mom used to make this caramel slice when my siblings and I were growing up, it's still a family favourite now.
I double it when I make it, but have written the single batch recipe.
It's in metric but I've checked how to convert it so will be both:
1 395gm/ 13.93OZ can Sweetened condense milk (name brand seems to work better then store brand but that could just be here).
2 tablespoons golden syrup.
130/ 4.58OZ Butter
180gms plain biscuits/4OZ plain cookies
150gm/5.2OZ cooking chocolate.
Biscuit base: Melt 90gm/ 3.17oz of butter and crush the biscuits.
Mix the butter with the crushed biscuits and press the mixture into a pan. place in fridge to set.
Place condensed milk, golden syrup and left over butter in pan over medium heat.
Cook stirring constantly (mine always looks like a lumpy odd mess but its meant to a this point) 5-8 mins or until it thickens and becomes a light caramel colour (or the way I do it is, place half a tea spoon of it on a plate tip upside down and if it doesn't move its ready).
Take off heat, pour on to biscuit base spread evenly.
Allow to cool for about 30mins.
Melt the chocolate in a bowl, I use the microwave as its quicker.
pour melted chocolate over the caramel.
Place all in fridge until chocolate has set.
I have lost people very close to my heart throughout the years but they all seem to have paled to the grieving I am still experiencing from the death of one of my best friends almost 6 months ago. I am not sure why, but her death seems to have hit me harder than my own father's death and a friend that I thought of as a mother.
She and I were close in age, I was 1 1/2 years older. We saw each other at work almost every day and hung out when we could on our days off. I walked into her office every morning and we talked about what was going on in our lives. She had divorced 3 years before and remarried within 6 months so a lot of times we discussed her relationship with her new husband and how they were adjusting to each other.
It still hurts to see pictures of her, and I cannot bear to take her number out of my contacts yet. I still have our last texts we sent to each other the night she died. I seem to be doing well and then someone or something reminds me of her and I find myself grieving anew. I often wonder if her death has hit me harder because of being close in age and the death being very sudden.
I know that everyone grieves differently but I feel like I'm still going in waves of grief and I'm not quite sure why. I did not post this to get sympathy, I simply needed to talk about it. But if anyone has insight I would be willing to listen.
Several weeks back I got notified by one of Linda's (stepmom) co-workers about a cat named Toby the Gray Tabby. Dad and Linda went off on vacation then when they came back we adopted/rescued him. At first he was scared and went into hiding. After a few days he felt comfortable enough to come out and interact with us. Toby is 3-4 years old and very affectionate and has a bond with me. He's already had the snip and sometimes he's a complete spazz. He likes to run around without even being triggered into doing it.
Recent EntriesLatest Entry
You go into your classroom at college. You see a girl crying quietly. You approach her and ask what's wrong. She looks at you and you notice that she looks exhausted, dark circles around her red eyes and it looks like she'd aged a little too. She says with a very painful tone" I'm tired of traveling in space and time. I can't do it anymore. I just don't want to. I want to be like everyone else".
Would you believe her? Would you think that's she's crazy? What would you do?
Around 8 years ago (2009) my father witnessed a dove circling our house, it would fly above our house around 3 times before flying off, my father thought nothing off it since birds are very common where we live so it must have been a coincidence, A few weeks later my grandmother fell and was taken into hospital.
A month went by and she sadly began to deteriorate and passed away in hospital.
6 years on (July 2014) the same breed of dove came back to our old house, it continued to circle the house for a while before flying off... Again thought nothing of it, 4 weeks later my great-grandmother fell... She was taken to hospital but luckily came back home. It was then 2 months later she passed away peacefully in her home
This time (October 2014) the dove never went away, we would see it circling our house still and one day my father said "Look it's back, I hope nothing happens again!".. We waited and nothing happened, or so we thought....
Come December we visited my grandfather, all well and watching TV we talked for a while before heading back home, 20 minutes after arriving home my mother had a phone call saying that my grandfather collapsed. The paramedics brought him back for a brief moment but sadly passed away in the Ambulance going to the hospital.
Was this a complete coincidence that this dove was flying around our house and only ours? Was it bringing a message?
This is my first time posting.
I will start with a some background history before I get to the interesting bit.
I met "SG" about 5 years ago in 2012. My friend sent me a picture of him and from the first instant I saw that picture I felt drawn towards him. He was so good looking and damn sexy. 2months went by and we were going out to dinner with my friend, she brought SG along and told me that they were together so I pushed that feeling aside (let me just add that I had a boyfriend of 6years, so it was just a harmless feeling towards SG).
My friend and SG started dating and the 4 of us used to spend alot of time together. About 2years into their relationship she started to treat him alittle badly and he would message me to ask what she was up to ect because he was worried. My boyfriend and I were going through a very rough patch (he liked to party and drink and it started to affect our relationship ) My feelings for SG started up again and intensified with every fight each of us had with our partners. I started to imagine scenarios happening between SG and I were we would kiss or sometimes alittle more.
In September 2014 my boyfriend an I broke up due to his drinking, constant partying and drug use but we were still living together in seperate bedrooms. My friend had taken a trip over-seas and one night my (ex) boyfriends friend slapped me across the face. I packed a bag to sleep at my dad's place which was where my friend and SG lived too. Her mom rented out rooms and my dad stayed there and SG and my friend stayed in a granny flat on the property.
He told me to come sit with him and watch movies to feel better and one thing lead to another and bam we had sex. A few times after that night too. (Yes im a terrible friend siss on me) but flip I was in love by this stage!!!
They broke up for other reasons (she cheated on him and left him for another guy) and he moved into a spare room at my house (with my ex boyfriend and I) the sex between us was our secret and no one knew what was going on. This new living arrangement just made it so much easier to continue our "just casual sex".
When SG started to bring other girls home I realized how hurt I was and that it wasn't just sex for me I was in love but we had spoken about it and agreed we could never be together in a relationship as my friend and ex boyfriend would find out and things would get even more messy! ! Especially as we had no where else to live.
We both decided to stop our casual sex and I tried to work things out with my ex. Things were going well for one month when my ex went out and did drugs partied for a few days and didnt come home. I was so mad I broke up with him again and SG and I ended up in bed again the next week.
Fast forward 11 weeks. I find out Im pregnant I don't know who the father is and SG admits he loves me and that no matter who the father is he will love the baby like his own. We tell the world our story, we move out into our own place and our casual sex becomes a head-over-heels love that I have never felt in my life. We are meant to be together. He is my life and I love him with every fiber of my being. There is no other man in this entire world for me. We make love every day 3 to 4 times a day. We have the same likes, dislikes, tastes, we think the same, we are one.
He is there when the baby is born, I have never felt a connection so strong as I did the day I gave birth. I will remember this day for the rest of my life. I pray that the baby is his. We do a paternity test and 3 weeks go by.
Our little family is so perfect, he is such a good dad and I can picture our wedding until an email comes through and destroys our perfect bubble. My ex is the father!!!
As soon as he finds this out he distanced himself from me and the baby. And within 2weeks he breaks up with me and asks me to move out as soon as possible. His reason for breakingbup is that he cannot handle the baby growing up and being in contact with my ex and living my ad more than him, he used excuses then that he will never love my baby like his own blood child (so karma has kicked my ass HARD).
My whole world was destroyed and I was broken.
While I was pregnant my ex realized what his life style was doing to him and he decided to change. He stopped drinking and going out, he stopped using drugs and he started to exercise more and go to church. He changed his life around and was doing much better in his career.
As soon as he found out that the baby was his he wanted to meet him. Along with his family. When he heard that I needed a place to stay he offered for me to live in the flat on his parents property. This was Feburary 2016.
He stuck to his good ways and he became an excellent father to our son. (Our son loves him unconditionally) . By November 2016 we had grown closer as a couple and family and we became the couple I always knew we could be. He forgave me for what I had done to him and I forgave him for all his mistakes. He proposed to me in December and we plan to get married in 2018.
It took me 11months to heal my heart from what SG did to me. But still to this day I hurt sometimes and memories are always popping into my head. I will always feel as though I've lost apart of my soul.
A week ago (April 2017) I got an overwhelming sense of depression and saddness for SG I even cried. It came out of nowhere and nothing had reminded me of him. This feeling lasted for 2 days and then just vanished.
I was so confused by it that I googled what it could mean. One answer was that when someone shared a strong connection with another person they can feel what that person is going through even if they haven't spoken or seen each other.
That night I had a dream of SG and my sister's boyfriend (who works in the same company as SG) that morning when I woke up there was a message from my sister's boyfriend that said SG was going through a depression and was trying to hook up with girls at his work.
The next day I saw that SG was looking at my whatsapp statuses and liking pics on my social media.
This hasn't been the first time I have felt connections with people I haven't seen in a long time or the dreamt of random people and then seen or heard from them the next day.
Has anyone else felt like this or experienced something similar? I would love to hear your stories. Or any answers/explanation to mine.
- Read more...
- 0 comments
Ah.. still we are in Genesis. You have heard it said that when the first two people were placed in the garden they were told...eat of any tree you wish but of the tree of knowledge do not touch or you will surely die. So then the serpent says try this it's delicious and you will be wise like god and eve eats it and so does Adam and all the sudden they realize that they are nude and go hiding from god and god happens to be strolling through the garden that evening and says hey Adam where are you and Adams like we're hiding because we're nude and god's like, who told you that? And so the blame game begins and god's all upset, sewing leaves or skins together for them to wear (please read why you are both good and bad blog first, it will explain a lot about "god") and then he's like get out with a big ass eviction notice for both of them. No more free meals, no more free rent no more free loading, your on your own and you can work to death for all I care !!!! Wow tough crowd huh???
So No ... that's not what happened and the whole thing got twisted and heavily watered down because the old leaders felt it was too provocative and way too much info, so you got this .....an apple, a tree, two dumb kids, some heavy peer pressure by a snake , and finally a very p***ed off parent / landlord.
Nope..... I'm gonna explain this whole thing very shortly... Put some things in perspective for you.......
OK so let's begin, first off when I say dumb kids I don't really mean kids as in children I mean undoubtedly young people because they would have been in the prime of youth ,healthy, young strong ..logical right? Right!
So as you may or may not be aware the first man and woman were not exactly the first man and woman and were not exactly the first people's they were the first with a self awareness a higher consciousness of understanding. Intelligent!!! I will show where this proves itself,later. For now let's continue in the book if you look , the word tree is often used in reference to a family a lineage, weather spiritual or literally a tree is exactly this all throughout the book !!!! A fruit is the offspring of the tree often referred to as fruit ,again all through out the Bible it is referenced that a tree will be known by what fruit it bears. Meaning what kind of people and the offspring or children they produce.
So if we look closely we see a young woman roaming through a garden , I'm thinking we are not looking at a actual garden here but a fertile and bountiful territory of land that is obviously occupied by other humans So here comes a snake a talking snake to tempt eve.
Or how about here comes a person out of a different linage an older lineage an older model creation if you will. A more primitive but intelligent human just not quite tweaked like this couple. "Let us create man in our likeness " which should probably should have read " OK we have created but how about we create them to be like us, with a conscious an awareness a higher intelligence. So in other words, hey you two don't mix or mingle with anyone but each other. Got it.! Of that tree you must not partake !!!! So here is this beautiful different type of man and woman and who comes along,.... old proto type. Now he's smart he was the most cunning beast of the field. Right ?? Right!! Cunning = having or showing skill in achieving one's ends by deceit.
OK so this tells us that this one has been around long enough to learn how to be clever in a sneaky way like a criminal who has mastered the art of stealing but lacks the intelligence of a conscience. Primitive !!! And note it says" the fruit was pleasing to the eye" so this was one beautiful piece of fruit or we are talking about someone's apparent physical attractiveness! So, he says to eve ,if you eat of the fruit your eyes will be opened and you will be like god knowing good from bad. I doubt that conversation ever took place but She fell for it and ate of the fruit ......
*SEX* that's what happened and she gave the fruit to Adam and he too partook of the FRUIT. *Sex*.... she taught him sex after she herself learned it. Then all the sudden they notice they are naked and feel shame.( What an odd reaction. after a eating a piece of fruit ) So then they get thrown out of the garden. Why because the project is now ruined, she's pregnant she mixed with the lower intelligent being the offspring will NOT be a reproduction of great intelligence of these two, Adam and eve. Then the intruder/snake is cursed by god to slither it's belly and eat dust all the days of its life. or maybe it should have read "you are a lowly creation never will you prosper you will crawl all the days of your life. Her offspring and your offspring will be enemies. (Enemies with snakes ? What!) Notice up until this point there are no children born to them. Now here's where it gets crazy. All the sudden Adam and eve are pregnant but she says with the help of the lord. I have bore a man (male child). What...I thought it was with the help of Adam ???? So here comes Cain and Abel twins I would stand to bet. One like his mother one like his father "the snake" so like his father he is primitive so he kills Abel who probably had more of his mother's traits. Cain leaves he's now an outcast and goes of and settles in some town and finds a wife! But how they were suppose to be the first people's back in Eden. Second time it proves the point of a prior primitive creation , besides the so called snake or rather the guy who wasn't Adam! Also look over Genesis carefully. There are two creation Stories back to back. You will see where primitive man was created first and then a second people's that were obviously created with intelligence in mind. You can't till the ground unless you have some type of awareness. Just read Genesis and note where it starts over completely. So anyways after all that with Cain. Seth is born and notice when he's born ,then and only then does Adam speak and says now I have a son from my own flesh. Quite an odd thing to say after your supposedly third child. Don't you think ???
We will conclude tomorrow.
What you selling?
Nah, man... that don't work right away takes forever but controls you way to hard.
^bless is 1/2 of that so you are already 1/2 natural bless^
^you got 1/4 bless
Do I got a quarter bless?
^bless yourself by -Do (multiplied by) -¿tone?
I got quarter bless
^bless flip real soon, got truckers atlas that roads itself, and got your own 4 corners
Like that perpindicular some say is cross.
^bless yes see king arm crossed stand high proud/see king arm crossed same pose but on back -pride +++telling his princes about clouds and stars
And I'll flip it now bro sis and say quarter turn either way I see queens rule then 180° or turn two corners and queen tells man carry this ^bless for me
.....QuoteKain: The Pillars don't belong to them, Raziel... they belong to us.Raziel: Your arrogance is boundless, Kain.Kain: There's a third option, a monumental secret hidden in your very presence here. But it's a secret you have to discover for yourself. Unearth your destiny, Raziel. It's all laid out for you here.Raziel: You said it yourself, Kain... there are only two sides to your coin.Kain: Apparently so, but suppose you throw a coin enough times... suppose one day, it lands on its edge.
--soul weaver ii
/hip connect to hop, thigh sinew connect to main, and come and cover (jacob 2 iarael Etymology Mix reprise)
And we count heads, tails, edge, and alloy. Who has a head and a tail? Then perfect balance for that side inbetween both light and dark, right and wrong, this and that not this vs that, then you have noble within known as goddess annointed or deity powered.
- Read more...
- 0 comments
Once you decide to take the 1st step of preparation you’re going to want to put together a small bag that you can keep in a place that makes the most sense for you; at work, in your trunk, in a closet, or your garage. Now there are many variations for these types of bags; get home bag, go bag, bug out bag, whatever you want to call it, it’s just a bag to help you get by when a situation arises where you need to move from A to B or even just an assembled bag to have what you need when you need it even if you’re just staying put.
Before you go out and buy a huge expensive pack that’s intended to use to hike Everest, you may want to decide what you’re going to put in it. When you decide what you need, gather it up and figure how big of a bag you really need, a small book bag may be all you need, or maybe not. I do suggest that it is a size that you are comfortable carrying when it’s fully loaded for at least a few miles.
For instance, I use a small dark brown backpack of good quality, but doesn’t scream, hey I have stuff that you may want to take from me. Here’s a list of what’s inside, just for ideas. Keep in mind I live in an urban area with desert and mountains not too far away depending on which way you choose to go. I travel often from San Diego to Sacramento, CA about a 550 mile trip one way, or from San Diego to Phoenix, AZ about 350 miles away. So I like to be prepared if I have a break down in my car and have to spend the night in an unknown area. There’s a whole lot of nothing on either of those trips that I make at least once a month.
Contents of my back pack:
1 skivvy roll (shirt & underwear rolled inside of a pair of good boot socks)
1 beanie, bandana, lightweight jacket & 1 pair of hiking pants
1 filled 32 oz aluminum water bottle & 1 empty collapsible water pouch, 32 oz
Food, jerky, granola, nuts, sunflower seeds, fruit leathers
First aid kit, Chap Stick, sun block, water purification tablets
Fire making materials
Multi tool & a fixed blade knife
Flash light & a headlamp, with spare batteries
Emergency blanket, the sleeping bag kind
Pen, note pad, ear buds,
Spare wallet with $100 in small bills, and an ID
- Read more...
- 0 comments
Tim and Mrs. Hickory were in a forest. They were walking with Jane towards a castle because some nice little squirrel had told Jane it was a good idea. They didn’t remember the hospital or how they knew each other. They just knew that they must have been good friends because they got along so well. The forest was just beautiful too. It was filled with lush evergreen trees and there were no briars or brambles or any scary animals. And Tim discovered that he could always hear the river nearby; it flowed parallel with the path to the castle. So, there was no way they could even get lost in this forest. Tim was having a wonderful time.
The group was nearing the edge of the forest when they heard a loud thump. The squirrel who was following them, scurried off to hide. Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory walked toward the sound. It was in the direction they were already heading. It wasn’t long before they saw some brush moving on the side of the path. They drew nearer and discovered a woman lying there, moving her arms and legs slowly. Tim thought she was trying to get up.
“Hey, are you alright?” Tim asked. “Need some help?”
“No. I’m fine.” The woman in the brush struggled harder.
“You don’t look fine to me, Lady.” Tim replied.
The woman said something Tim couldn’t understand and then she managed to lift herself onto all fours. Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory stepped backwards as the woman in the brush caught her breath and got on one knee. Then used her recovering strength to stand on her feet.
“See, I’m fine. Wait…Tim? Mrs. Hickory? And is that…Jane? What are you guys doing here?” The woman in the brush inquired.
“We’re going to the castle but first we have to get through The Peaceful Forest; that’s what I’m calling it anyway.” Jane said.
“A nice little squirrel told Jane to go to this castle and then she found us so we all decided to follow her. The Peaceful Forest is so pretty isn’t it?” Tim added.
“How do you know our names?” Mrs. Hickory demanded. “We never told you.”
“Yes, you did. At the hospital.” The woman answered.
“What hospital?” Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory asked simultaneously. The squirrel came out from the trees, running and short of breath.
“We have to go. Come on, hurry!” The squirrel said and sprinted towards the edge of the forest and the castle beyond. Tim, Jane and Mrs. Hickory followed suit. The woman in the brush, whose name was Ria, stood still for a moment. She looked at the dark castle and knew she had made it back. This time, she was going to make it to the castle and nothing was going to stand in her way, especially not those three idiots and their dumb squirrel. But for now, she would play nice with them. Who knows what existed in this world, it would be wise to stick with a group. She ran towards the castle after them. Back in the forest there was another thump, but no one was around to hear it except for the trees and one lonely deer.
- Read more...
- 0 comments
When I was abducted.
the purple flower was the only different species of it's kind and all the othe flowers would bring it down saying it didn't belong...but the purple flower was the most outstanding and of course one of kind who had been picked by a beautiful young lady who absolutely loved poetry, and would tell the purple flower a sad love story every day.
I died on the operating table after having an arrow removed. It came from a powerful Crossbow. They snipped the metal tip from my back and yanked out the arrow from my chest. Then I died. A hospital security warden wheeled my bed to the morgue and left me through the door. Feeling like an alien I jump off the bed and caught the door from closing as he never noticed a thing from leaving the door to close. I made my way through the hospital exit with nothing but a hospital gown on and made my way home with my ass showing
Event : Clubbing Courtney Place. Wgtn NZ
Incident: Outside main door Burger King
Time of actually happening: New Years 12:10am
Hospital: Lower Hutt Main
Hospital exit door: In corrodoor via cafe kitchen
Story: Fact ..
- Read more...
- 0 comments
Around the world, people are celebrating the Chinese New Year and the start to the Year of the Dragon. This got us wondering: Where did the myth of the dragon come from in the first place? Scholars say that belief in dragons probably evolved independently in both Europe and China, and perhaps in the Americas and Australia as well. How could this happen? Many have speculated about which real-life animals inspired the first legends. Here’s our run-down of the likeliest suspects.
- Read more...
- 0 comments
This is a hit on the late side, but that doesn't harm anyone now does it. So seems this past year of school has been passing by at a much quicker rate than I had ever noticed before. It is my senior year and here I am looking at college, jobs, and so much else. Slowly have iI seen my pack grow as well. From new members to new lives. I am engaged to my mate, I have been doing better at being open about me being trans and that my name is Damon. I have figured out that I am actually more demi-asexual, someone who is only partially asexual, and that life has seemed to smooth out from what it used to be like. So as I am here I am going to announce that I am starting another blog section and it will be called Story Time With Damon. This is where I shall be posting past stories and stories that I will later be experiencing in life.
in regards to all this, spring break is in 9 days counting weekends. Not sure if I will be here or in Kentucky yet, but as it seems I will be here. In that sense I do hope to see Standing Fox as soon as possible since I need to pick up my pelts from him.
Expect to see me outside on Tuesday April 4th. This is a day for therians and otherkin to both go outside at 5:00 pm your time and make the sounds of your theriotype and kintype. To show that you are not alone where you live. So expect to hear my howls of my wolves and maybe even the roars and growling of my dragon, who will be talked about in my next entry.
another blog entry on here will be arriving soon this week or this month. For now this is Lunar Wolf signing off.
- Read more...
- 0 comments