Long ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a blog column called Ask Falco..
For many months now, my font of amazing wisdom has lain dormant..
Now friends and neighbors and also people I hate, I return to dispense knowledge and aforethought; if that is indeed a real sentence..
Perhaps it is, maybe it isn't...You'll never know..
Because you aren't half the sage I am..
And here I'm going to prove it..
Many of you newer members never got to ask me your pressing qu
In an alley, blind; and somebody I couldn't see pointing a gun at me..
Typical. That accounting job was looking real good about now.
The flick of light came again, along with a scraping sound..It was a zippo lighter; and it finally caught.
"About time" said the shadowy figure.."I've been trying to light this cigarette for a while."
With the lighters flame still going he set in upright on the ground next to him. In the small corona of brightness it created I could finally see who I was d
Well, the title got your attention..
Now reach down and get your mind out of the gutter..We're going to talk about a cartoon..Not what you were thinking..
It's a cartoon you never see anymore, probably with good reason; although it was on when I was younger..Woody Woodpecker.
If you've never seen it, let me explain the premise of almost every episode..
A walrus(or a dog, or an authority figure of some sort) is going along about their everyday business when they have the misfortune to ru
So why could I see this guy so easily?
The tree he was trying to hide behind had a glass case directly behind it. His reflection was clear as day..
He was a teenager closer to twelve than twenty..He had long black hair; a long black trench-coat and long black pants and boots probably..He had one hand reached under that coat; grasping something as he waited for me to pass..
Another hit-squad goon, sent by my unknown adversary?
If so, they were picking them a little young nowadays. I'd soo
I figured my best way through this was just to charge straight in and knock her over; so that's what I did..Or tried to..
Much to my surprise Thistle lightly side-stepped with a grace you only see in some professional dancers..And tapped me with the end of her stick..
So the"Pointy Stick" was actually a cattle prod, I noticed..
Not bad detective work really, considering that now I was on the ground writhing in shock as something like 20,000 volts rushed through my body..
I'd like to set aside this portion of my blog as a service to UM. Here you can ask Falco anything about everything. I guarantee you'll get an answer; as my knowledge is as limitless as my tendency to self-promote..
So go ahead and ask.
I'm not as smarmy as Dear Abby at least..
Much like that, bald, strangely disturbing voiced singer Phil Collins I can feel it coming in the air...A skeptical rennaissance is about to happen right here on UM. I feel the energy and tension; like a cross between the air before a storm and a coiled spring..
I think we've reached a point here where utter ridiculousness and fanatacism have reached critical mass. For too long it's gone unchecked except by the few people who still have energy to argue. But that's about to change. If you've re
Recently, a friend here has found her blog locked up for absolutely no reason we can find..Perhaps it's just a glitch because of inactivity..
Well; I haven't made an entry here for months..
If this shows up we may convey something more sinister that smacks of a personal vendetta..
Personally; I don't find anything objectionable about somebody posting a paragraph on thier God-daughter but perhaps somebody out there feels different..
Because I don't feel original. I'm going to do the same thing again. Also I wanted to bump this back on to page 1, as I'm an attention ho...
So to start off I'm going to answer my last two questions from part the firste..
Janiel..It's a well known fact that only Coke is served on the 23rd Cieling. Sorry Guy. But if you go up one level to the 24th they have Pepsi galore. They also serve Gin and Tonic, Fruit Smoothies, and Mountain Dew. Unfortunately it's owned by young Republicans who'd neve
For some strange reason at work today we got into talking about bullfighting..That got me to thinking on the subject a bit. Perhaps if we're talking about Mexico maybe, or an American Spaniard learning his ancestors' craft; they may well accept you calling them a "Bullfighter."
But if you were to call a classically trained Spanish Matador that; he'd be very insulted. You might even find yourself in a fight..
You see, to the Matador, it's not a fight..The outcome is predetermined. The bull is
It's been a long, long time; boys and girls..
I've been gone for quite awhile from this particular forum, and for what I thought was good reason; although that all seems like ashes and angel wings in hindsight..
You see, I've been mean, diffident, standoffish and cruel to the many people I've met here over the couple of years I've been a member of this forum, just lately..
The fact is, there's been many recent upheavals in my life, as well as numerous problems with a few members of this fo
This portion of my Blog is going to be for recruiting potential members of The Skeptical Dark Lords of Uppity Annoyance. Since some of our older members are vacationing from active duty it may be time to introduce some new blood to board. (Yes, I mean that literally ).
Any interested parties can register here and we'll discuss why you should be a member and why you are both Uppity and Annoying..
After leaving the terminal I realized one very important fact. As a detective I stunk on ice. I'd never thought to even ask where in this city Unexplained Mysteries might be located..
No big deal though, any cabby could probably tell me.
Or would be able to, if any were around...Must've been a soccer riot or a half price sale on haggis today. Whatever the reason, the streets around me seemed completely empty of public transportation of any kind..
When you're lost any direct
So it wasn't as bad as I thought at first..
Turning around I could still see the door behind me..It had no frame or obvious means of support but it stood there tall and strong just the same. At least I had some link to reality; if you wanted exaggerate and call this place that..
Keeping it's location firmly in my mind for a referance point I set out deeper into the forest..
Although it may have looked like British Columbia in summer, there was plenty of strangeness around to convince me th
I'm Falco Rex and I'm a raging b******!!
Some of you may remember me, and most of you probably don't, but I've known this forum for a very long time indeed..
And in that span of time I've covered the spectrum of viewpoints and emotions..
I've been compassionate. I've been mean..I've been an uber-skeptic. I've been a blind believer..
That's just in one day, mind you..
One thing always comes to fore though; and that's common sense above all.
I'm the ultimate "Me-ist" as far as p
Well here we go again..
It worked before, so let's reheat some leftovers and crack a beer for the inevitable return of the exact same bull I shoveled to you before..
Familiarity is very comfortable, right?
Do you have a question that's bugged you your entire life? Do you need answers and need them yesterday or possibly even sooner? Do you need a firm hand to guide your destiny? Or do just really wish you could remember who won the 1965 World Series?(The Dodgers, dummy)...Well Falco is here
So I'm human, with all that entails, alright?
Every once in awhile this board slows down, new topics are rare and you find you've debated everything at least 5 times. So I take an occasional month or so off to recharge my UM battery..
I had hoped upon my return I would find my beloved Uppity annoyance a strong and wise prescence on the boards. There was really no reason to think otherwise..
But this time was different. I've returned to a vast sea of off-topic time-wasters; random lunatics
Hi there! I'm just here in my blog waiting til' I can clear enough quiet time to begin my first ever story in several parts, right here in this very blog!
It's going to be called "The case of the missing post" starring me of course; Rex Falco, Private Eye..
I probably shouldn't be wasting time and space though, should I? So let's call this; cutting a promo..Or building up dramatic tension..Ahhh, whatever; time wasting is good enough for me..
Are you intelligent? Do you have natural talent? Do you ooze charm?
If you do; do you get sick of people telling you that and mentioning that you have the ability to be rich and famous if only you did this or that?
I do at times; and I bet you do too..
What if you have all those abilities and all you want to do is have a good time; enjoy the one you love, and drink until everything is warm and fuzzy?
Why is the burden constantly upon us to drive forward and produce, whether we care or no
Hope is the thing with feathers. So wrote Emily Dickenson. It was a rather positive sentiment from such a dark and gloomy lady, and unusual for her.
And yet I can't argue with her at all..
A year ago I put up a bird feeder on our deck. It's amazing how such a simple thing could capture my interest for so long; but everyday I find myself staring at a long line of hungry little birds flitting back and forth. They command my attention in a way little else can. You see, birds are perfection in
The glowing blue hallway went on for a ways; but at the end I could see what looked like interplay between light and shadow..
As I covered the distance I had time to reflect on what had happened so far..
The strange bus driver who knew just where to drive me was a little too convienant. Somebody must want me at UM..
On the other hand; having a guard in place to stop my entry certainly argued that someone wanted me out..
This case was barely a day old and already it seemed one side wanted
Venting room! Falco likes!!
Well, let's start off with a subject that used to be near and dear to my heart. The Debates Board..
I don't participate really in it anymore, although I still judge. You see, it's lost something since the first season. Oh don't get me wrong; having 2 organizers and a panel of judges keeps it running pretty smooth now. And the time limits that are actually enforced are nice..but..It's all become too convenient for Debators. In season one you had to join the debate
I should use this entry to say something deep and profound.
I should use this entry to complain.
I should use this entry to inspire thought or action.
I should use this entry to insult someone.
Why not, it's what people expect me to do more or less. But maybe instead I should use this entry to open up a little and let people know the real me.
It seems I'm trapped in my own mind today. I've become my online persona. Cold and aloof. An intelligent force rather than a person