What the **** just happened?
I'm Laying here moments after a very disturbing event. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. I'm in tears actually at this moment. I know there is a few people that believe me about the **** that happens to me, but this is one of those instances that takes the cake.
I woke up laying in bed. Some sort of noise woke me up, not one of the normal noises of my house. My niece, mother, and two boys all make certain kinds of sounds. It was none of them. I removed my walther p38 from the bedside safe, I chamber a round... then I think better of it and remove the magazine then remove the round from the chamber and replace the magazine. If I am startled I won't be able to just shoot. I will have to consciously chamber another round. This places a cognitive check incase I don't really want to shoot. It's just a way of preventing an accident.
I clear the house. Check the Windows and doors...nothing.
I then lay down after replacing the walther feeling relaxed an satisfied that everyone is safe. I have an entire house of women an children to protect, and I take that role very seriously.
I then decide to journey. I initiate vibration. It did not take long. There was a slight up and down motion then I'm standing up out of body. I turn to float away, and out of nowhere my wife sits up an grabs my arm. "Here" she says, "throw this away for me." I am shocked at this. She hands me something small. I am in doubt that I have exited, this would be something she would do, but seconds latter I am back in my body. In the last seconds before leaving trance I see mischievous and somehow familure smile cross my wife's face...........----**** NOT MY WIFE !!!!! Were my thoughts.
I'm Laying there now fully back and I sit up to look at her. Sound asleep and as beautiful as ever. I have got picture perfect lovely Philippina wife.
Ok..... This needs to be looked into. I lay back initiate vibrations again. I exit and start to get up but she suddenly has me by my arm again. This Time I am ready. I turn toward her and slam my will into her ( a bit like an astral punch) while saying "who the **** are you!!"
No effect. The grip tightens. It's very tight but not painful. There is a firmness and control to it, the way you would control a child having temper tantrum. She flings me sideways back into my body.
I sit up. Looking back at her sound asleep. I utter under my breath, that whatever you are you are not getting away with that. My ego martial art instructor bravado I guess. I lay back down for another go at this.
Vibrations came briefly then faded again then faded. I could not back....but during my last try my lips and tung start to move an begin to mouth something in a Studder. Completely not my doing.
"Dddddddddd ddd d d dis disaster, disaster, disaster."
I sit up ----- holy **** what was that?!?! ( I apologize form my words i tend to revert to my father's sailor habits when I get excited)
I am sitting up in bed in disbelief and tears. Nothing has ever done that before.
It took me a few moment to calm down. But finally I decided the best thing to do is to go back to sleep.
I lay down and start listening to my wife's and baby's breathing. It always comforts me. But there is a problem. I have rolling bands of goose bumps coursing through me. They pulsate when there is a visitor. It's still here. I don't feel threatened. But it's still disturbing given what just happened.
Then something totally unexpected happens. I am not altered in any way. Fully awake and pondering events. I'm on my side looking at my baby with the blankets pulled up to my ears.
My wife starts to stir awake, it's dark but light enough for silhouettes. She sits up. I lay motionless but with my eyes cracked open watching her. She adjusts the covers around the baby for better warmth. Then she stops. A change in her posture somehow I can't explain it. She looks straight at me.
Out loud, "So....did You throw it away?" I pretended to be asleep. No way she could tell I was awake and all of that did not happen in normal reality. It was entirely an obe event, yet here she is awake an asking about it. It's not over.
She lays back down. The frequency of massive Pulsating chills are overwhelming....then the most amazing thing happens. I hear this noise like an air compressor release valve. It's a real noise, I am wide awake and the room... Mabey the whole house literally decompresses. I can feel it in my ears and there is a significant movement of air through at least our room along with the sound.
I don't know what else to say. I'm still in a bit of shock. Time will tell what it all means I guess. I just surrender myself to God the great spirit. Whatever I am to do with all this, I'll leave it up to them ( the powers that be) to let me know when and how. I just hope I'm not nuts.
Is it selfish of me to hope that if there is a disaster that it's not here? GOD I hope it is one of those bread crumb words and not an actual disaster.
Thanks for listening.
After finishing that blog early this morning I got up to take a pee. When I got back I was crawling into bed slowly as to not wake the baby or my wife. Then my wife reached out and her hand grabbed my arm. I just about jumped out of my skin. It was just the way it went down when altered same arm and everything.
She wanted to make love. We made out little pallet on the floor and all was set right.
I don't know. She must have been thinking about this while sleeping and as I projected it must have stimulated her to react the way she would latter. Often dreams are about planning for future events. I think I jumped the gun a bit with spirits and such. I just wasn't expecting to interact with my wife that way. Still the "disaster" thing is still disturbing. Regardless I live a blessed if not crazy life. I still have a lot to learn about altered state interpretation.
I'm so very blessed. Thank you god.