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A man awake

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Seeker79's Blog and his travels

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White Crane Feather

A strange and beautiful life

I just got back from the coffee shop getting some tea. I needed something to sooth my throat and I was out dropping my kids off at school. I got my toddler some chocolate milk. I left it on the hood of the car. We fed the chickens then came in side. Soon enough he realized he did not have his treat and wanted to go get it. I got my aching body up again with a groan and went outside at his lead and I gave it to him. We walked back towords the house and he stops suddenly, looks to his left and dashes about 10 feet with his hand waving and chocolate milk cradled in his other. He says "HI!"

I'm looking to see who he is talking to, but we live on an acre... There is no one. The suddenly he hugs his drink in both hands and pulls it away looking over his shoulder "my choc" ( it sounds like "my chalk") he does this to people when he is carrying a sweet or a toy when he meets people. He has two older brothers always harassing him.

I look off into the empty air and whoever or whatever he sees, ironically, as if it were completely normal, I wave and smile at whatever is there and go to pick him up. Just before I do he picks up an acorn and tosses it in the direction saying "here", ( his offer instead of his milk). I walk back into the house without looking back. He of course waves bye bye.

White Crane Feather

They hit.

Both me and my two year old are now sick. It hit me halfway through classes. By the time I was done I was experiencing chills, fever, and aches. I kinda felt it yesterday but I was working in my garden pretty hard so I thought I was just tired and dehydrated.. It's going to be one of those wrap up and sweat it out nights.

My premonitions tell me ahead of time that something has been brought home, but I really have no tools yet to prepare. I could stock up on antivirals and take them when I see them, I have enough evidence over the years to be comfortable relying on them, but I would like some more tools besides loading vitamin C and preparing the ibuprofen. I will have to research what my ancestors did when they saw something conming. It might be time to vision quest for a tool.

White Crane Feather

Eyeless entities

There back!! It's that time of year again. It doesn't matter how many time I see them, they always bug me.

I want on an OOB rampage trying to blast them all with white light. But I'm not sure it does any good. I'll make trip to Costco and store up on children's Advil and tylonal. Typically fevers start in the house within a week of seeing them. Uggggg I hate when the kids are sick.

White Crane Feather

OOB and the sunrise

I slipped out of body this morning as the sun was rising. I went outside to witness it. I walked straight through the door and onto my front porch. I timed it about right. I had to wait a couple of moments before the sun started she itself. The light was incredible, I felt warm beams shoot through trees to make my skin tingle. I can't explain it but the trees and plants sort of came alive. It was not a visual experience but I could still feel them celebrating in the light. It was almost if they were cheering.

That's when she stepped out of the light. I can't explain any better than that. It was like the light was a door and she simply stepped out of it. It was her. The spirit I call the garden goddess. She is the most beautiful feminine visage I have ever seen. A goddess that represents everything feminine.

She smiles at me, and I am simply elated that she is here. I always feel a little guilty because meetings with the goddess often turn into lovemaking, but I have to remind myself that OOB lovemaking is really about union. It's a symbol of ultimate connectedness and is not actually a physical act .

She hooks my arm and brings herself close to me, she is about half a head shorter than I am. Her smell is perfect, she smells like flowers. She kisses me on the chin and says "how's my little bear." ( a reference to the first time I met her). She also motions her eyes up, it can tell she wants me to fly. I lift us both into the air and start sailing toword the sierras. We are flying standing straight up. We fly over an emense smoke plum from wild fires across the sierras. They look more like clouds. Sensing my thoughts about how destructive the fires are, she says " it will recover, it always has.... It is supposed to be this way.... The old must be swept alway to make room for the new."

She kisses me then and we make love in the air.

When I come to, I go outside to where she stepped out the light. It's a little breezy and cool outside. I can't help but marvel at what I get to experience. Be it simply inside my head or something grander it dosnt matter. What is she I wonder. A wonderful spiritual entity..... A real goddess? If so why does she come to me? Or is she simply my mental construct of the perfect woman. What does that say about me? I suppose most men would conjure the perfect woman in their mental spaces if they could. To me she is so real. I can still smell her. What ever she, it's a testament to the human mind. I am so bey blessed to apart of things that are hidden from most. Wether it's in the underlines of reality or the hidden depths of a physical mind it dosnt matter.... It's incredible..... and I get to partake.

Thank you god.

White Crane Feather

Last Sunday

I projected from my hammock tent on Sunday. I took a hike into some wetlands and did some reading and resting in my hammock tent. I meditated into projection and encountered a teaching spirit I have not seen in a while. The blue shaman. She is sort of stocky but still beautiful woman with dark hair and Asian features but she is totally blue. She has tribal piercing a and tattoos. I have always wondered where she came from.. Maybe another time. Something like the mang version of the women on the movie AVATAR. Only her blue is paint... It's not her skin color.

In the past she has shown up to pull me away from astral bumbles. Once she called me a coward about something I was being cowardly about. She doesn't hold any thing back. Usually her visits are short, but this time she stayed with me at length. She walked me around the wetlands calmly showing me where I am failing but also praising me where I am successful. She instructed me at length on some dietary issues, and insisted that I become a vegan for a month, then after that I have to remain on the diet and only consume animal products that I have raised or hunted myself. She berated me that I was not rising to my potential because I was not disciplined enough. She insisted that I adopt much more discipline in my life and stop making any kind of excuses. She also showed me that the wetlands are dieing because some ground water has been cut off by some retrofitting on a nearby levy. The life in the wetlands needs me to fight this and start raising a commotion about it. Then she said I was a coward again by being afraid of the mara meditation. ( I have learned to put myself into sort of a walking hypnagogic where I am awake and mobile but still in a deep altered state) it was very intense last time I did it and I swore I wouldn't do it again. It is similar to hypnagogic states when people wake up and still see spiders and things in their rooms but I can walk around and maintain it. My last experience with it is in one of my blogs.

Anyway, after all that when I was back in normal reality I performed the meditation and struggled with it again until I got it under control. It's very much like being in the throws of madness. I held it and continued to hike with it on but under control. I investigated game trails studied the plants, spoke with them, I was guided to a large fig tree where I ate figs, nut grass, sorrels, cat tail stocks. The trees were sparkling and my body was buzzing. Honestly it might as well have been a mind altering drug, but accomplished through pure meditation. I spent the better part of the day like this. Occasionally the animal paranoia would start to kick up, but I would put it down gently. I discovered the ten acre organic farm right next to the wetlands was selling everything that I needed for food. I had always ignored it for some reason, but I discovered I could not speak when altered when I bought stuff. I had to break the state to have a conversation, but its not so easy. I couldn't just shake it off. At this time a lady pulled up quit suddenly at the little produce booth. I could read her thoughts. She ment to stir up the dust with a hard approach. She prides herself in making grand entrances to impress people. She got out and pompously apologized for "dusting us out". It was an empty apology I knew it. I was still in transition and the old weathered Asian man at the booth new something was up with me. By this point I had managed to buy a few things but only with a few simple words. I was kneeling down putting the vegetables in my pack and I could still sense her thoughts. She was put out that when she walked up I had not said anything to her when she walked up and apologized. I just looked at her and turned back to what I was doing.

Then after I stood up a large truck zoomed by and startled me. Every since I came out if the wetlands like this technology, cars, fences, and anything man made just looked ugly, dry, and irritating. The truck made me jump. Her thoughts switched to the word "drugs". I don't blame her, I wasn't all there yet. I was coming out of a deep walking trance and interacting with people at the same time. ( don't try it at home kids). Then she thought that she recognized me ( she did, she had been in my martial arts school before ... I know 2/3 of the people in town).... I smiled and nodded then removed myself.

I was back to normal by the time I reached my school just up the road. But I was exhausted. I napped on my crash mat for several hours. I have been haunted by that day ever since. I have been a vegan since Then. I left the white crane feather where I found it. I have been transformed yet again. Either that or im finally loosing it.

White Crane Feather

Sugar high? What is that?

I have been on a vegan diet since Saturday. I just drank a large glass of coconut water, then bamb, 5 minutes latter I'm experienceing this high like an opiat. I am shocked.

We are so addicted to sugars, I am amazed at how I feel just from changing my diet. Honestly I think I have been eating so much sugars all my life, I have never had a sugar high. Amazing

White Crane Feather

"When will we ever stop arguing?"

I had a lengthy discussion with a spirit this morning. Mostly about me I'm afraid. I was made aware of some severe short commings and congratulated for some strengths. I was reading Carl Jung before I stopped for a while to meditate, so after a several hours of this intense focus on me and my obligations to my family and my environment, I asked her a more broad question about humanity. Just as I was fadeing back to normal reality she whispered " Never. When you stop arguing is when you start killing."

White Crane Feather

Never a dull night

Early this morning roughly 3 am. I heard a large shattering noise. Like class but a computerized quality and echo. It awoke my mind. I reach over to wake my wife thinking the noise might have been real. As I reached I knew something was off. It wasn't my real hand. My real arm and hand was wrapped around my midsection.

Hmmmm sleep paralysis, and a false awakening I thought. Then my mind turned back to the shattering and I started to get worried it was real and there is an intruder. At this point I felt that switch of anxiety into SP anxiety start.... Oh no we are not going there I thought. I pulled myself back. And then there I was completely calm and happy that i thwarted the cascading fear reaction.

I brought up both my hands and rubbed them together. It felt like my real hands were rubbing together except one of my fingers were moveing and digging at my ribs. What a strange sensation one of my hands being in two places at one time. I thought about leaving my body but decided not to.

The minds ability to let me feel my 'astral' hands rub each other was completely amazing me. I am beginning to realize that the definition of what my hand even is is starting to become questionable.

I let myself fall back into sleep and my mind created a scenario around the shattering noise. In my dream a neighbors air conditioner exploded outside when they were haveing a party ( apparently makeing a shattering noise). Lots of young college age kids were hurt. I spent the entire dream administering first responders first aid. It was really good practice. During the dream I noticed that there were ball bearings and bdims in the explosion/shattering. It was not just an accident. The baby is a sleep, if I can get another hour of sleep in I bet I can turn the whole thing into a movie even doing battle with the culprits.

Never a dull night in my mind.

Source: Visions, Insight, Pre&Post Cognition, Feeling

White Crane Feather

It started again

It has all started again. Is early in the morning and energy is pulsing through my body. All things are connecting and converging all of a sudden. It started recently during an OBE when I just sat in the waters of my ocean. I have come to believe that the ocean in these visions represents the great spirit of God. I surrendered to the great spirit and I sat in the ocean and the only explanation is that it surrendered right back. I sat in the water and I cried. I cried at the beauty of it. Intense spiritual beauty. Those are the only words I have for it.

That morning I took a walk in some wetlands by my house. I wondered around all morning then walked to work for my few classes on Saturday mornings. During the walk I found a white crane feather. Years ago I had a dream that a white crane was putting me on a path. I figured at the time that It had something to do with the kung fu that I teach. There is a white crane form. Finding the feather and realizing the intense but calm and experiential relationship I have with my god, I realized that I had achieved any kind of spiritual seeking I have engaged in. The path was complete. What else would a spiritual seeker seek other than simply to be in the presence of the great spirit, and know deep in your core that that is exactly what it is. Then to leave the OBE realizing that this is a continual feeling. Its with me even now.

Since that morning I have received numerous messages and phone calls of people coming to me with amazingly positive messages. Some thank yous, some telling me what's happening with them. Old students from years ago, family members, all sorts of things. Its very strange and sudden.

Also its very strange and doesn't seem positive, but everything I have been neglecting has broken all of a sudden and has forced a clean start. Even the motor on my truck came back as completely shot. (yeah I take very good care of people and horribly neglect things). But its all broken. My entire routine has changed. I cant explain it, but I have no desire to even drive anymore. Me and the kids walk and run to places. I have been jogging to work, and ridding my bike to the grocery store. It is so very liberating. Even my chickens have kicked into high gear producing eggs, my vermiculture seems to have tripled over night and my wild food permaculture plot seems to have started itself.

Synchronicity's have exploded. Everything that I have been seeing seems to be about fate, guiding your own destiny, and spiritual maturity. Strangely the theme of god being a bartender has popped up back to back. I don't watch much television, but last night I watched "The adjustment bureau", then just a few minutes ago I caught the final episode of "quantum leap". Very powerful. For me these are back to back events.

Im also seeing solutions to problems surround me. I start thinking about what I have to take care of. My truck, a leak I have in the attic and the possibility of mold, and my wifes shin splints from running. No kidding back to back commercial's. Local pick n Pull, then a commercial for a sealant for leaks, then a type of laundry bleach, then a commercial for a local specialty athletic shoe store. Back to back. What are the odds of that. It brings tears to my eyes and goose pumps course through me like waves.

Its like the universe has opened up in every way possible. Its indescribable. Even my writing projects are starting to move and make sense. Of course I have like ten of them at one time that never seem to get done, but know I think they will.

Every time I think my quest and endeavors into the metaphysical side of our lives has reached a pinnacle I find that its just the surface of an ocean of potential. Im so very excited about tomorrow. I cant sleep because I wonder what the crazy ass thing will happen next.

I once heard t quote on the movie "Joe v.s the Volcano"

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.'

I have always wondered what that really feels like. I think I know now.

Thank you all for listening.

White Crane Feather

Just a video

I thought I posted this a long time ago, but I can't find it . So this might be a double up. I made this one night with my splice app. It's sort of cheesy, and accompanied by my usual errors and typos. Pass it on to any one who can benefit from it.

White Crane Feather

Crazy crazy

I must finally be going crazy. i fall asleep on the floor after coming home from watching fireworks. I dream of the boy. An very wise spirit guide that is associate with the mountains. He tells me "it's time to let loose your medicine " then he sort of chants a rhyme in his typical riddle like persona. I remember it clearly. "The shrine of the mind is to shine... Undeception for those on the balance of perception." He then touches my forhead. I have a vision of things I am to write. All the points all the process bombard me. I'm watching myself in fast motion. I wake up and all but the core start to fade.

Wow. I'm excited to get started.

White Crane Feather

No way to describe

Early images during meditations today. A dual plane of energy stretching out to infinity. I found myself in between the planes. The planes had indescribable shifting colors. The colors reminded me of fiber optic plastics. I projected afterward but there was a thickness. For some reason I was unable to leave my house. It felt like a magnetic repulsion. I walked downstairs, the kids were playing but they couldn't see me. My two year old seemed to be aware of something. There was a beautiful smiling woman watching them. An angel? It wasn't my angel. She acknowledged that I saw her but moved into another room with kids. I tried once more to leave the house but something is stopping me. Very strange.

I sat down to meditate within on OBE. Something I have been meaning to do but I always forget. I can't explain what happened next. I shifted into a completely differnt form of existence. I was no longer experienceing existence with the perception of biological senses. No vision, no hearing, no spacial awareness. Yet amazingly aware of the layers and energies around me. I wish there were words for it. There is just no way to describe it.

White Crane Feather

Death Aproaching

Last night I took my mother to the emergency room. She has been getting weeker and sicker with each passing month. last year I was visited by my father, and he told me she was on her way, and now I have been observing this death process for the second time. I was 19 the first time and it was very difficult.

Strangley or mabey not so strange I

am unphased by death or the prospect of it. Even the prospect of loosing a loved one does not pack the same punch. It makes me feel guilty, that I am apathetic. In all internal honesty I have rolled, jumped, sprung, and floated out of my body so many times and met spirits and the dead so many times that I have become 100% sure that the other side is just a shift away...... death being a `lucid dream` in which we never wake. Others will disagree with me of course, but they have not seen what I have nor does it matter.... they will one day.

Its a very strange place to be in psycologically. Im in her hospital room listening to her sounds while in severe discomfort. I am deeply concerned for her, and want despretly to alliviate her suffering, yet at the same time I feel the rite of passage, the bitter sweat sometimes gruling and painful march and cycle of life unfolding before my very eyes. I felt so greatful for our lives. All of our lives. The greatness, the beauty, the wonder, the pain, and even the horror. There is a completeness to it that frames our existance on this world.

My mother is one of the very few people in my personal life that knows a little bit about the extent of my experiences. She still has very strong native american features and beliefs. her great grand mother was born on the trail of tears. She asks me what she should do once she is there. She knows I am more concerned than normal. I told her not to worry about that, they will be waiting.

She suffered a very mild fall a few weeks ago, but it was `the` fall. With older people on their way out, there always seems to be a fall that signifies their final tilt down. Also, my 2 year old, Logan, came out and sat silently with her on the front step as she waited for me to gather a few things. I watched them face each other in silence. Logan sat there with strong posture and a strange confidence very much untoddler like. He glanced around for a moment as if searching for words, then he just tilted his head and smiled. She smiled back, and I realized I was watching two souls a generation apart embraceing without embraceing potentially for the last time.

I would have teard up ....... I would now as I write, but it dosnt come . Im not jaded. I am greatful. So very greatful that I am so privledged to wittness such a masterful master piece of a moment....true ultimate beauty upon the earth, a work of art of the spirit wrapped in the gaze of an old indian woman and her two year old grandson.

Thank you , thank you , thank you god for my life .......

ok , now im crying .

White Crane Feather

An interesting lesson and a call from the spirits.

Couldn't sleep last night, there were to many things on my mind. Finally I just gave up and Decided to journey. It was very quick vibrations only took moments to create. Then I sat up oob. I never cease to be amazed at the feeling of separating from my body. Standing there looking at my bed with, myself, my wife, and my baby in it, it occurred to me ( because of some conversations on UM) that I could probably use this very same methodology to put myself to sleep. It would just be a matter of letting the vibrations fully take me.

I then walked downstairs. I took a quick glance into the mirror on the stairs... Yup... The usual distortions. I have staired myself down before, I did not really want to do that wrestling match again this night. I turned away before I let it affect my mood. I then stepped through the large window and floated up into the air an shot for the stars. I floated just above the earth and hovered there a moment takeing in its beauty. We really are A chaotic turn of evolution aren't we? At certain altitudes I can see the massive clear cutting done in the pacific northwest and I shutter at the loss of life. All those magnificent trees gone. You would think with all of our intelligence we would have learned the lesson of Easter island. Nop. We are intent on turning the earth into a desert. At these moments I become ashamed of the wood in my house. I participate just as much as everyone else. How will we ever stop? We are so out of tune with nature, it will evenchually force us back or be our destructors.

After just hovering there for a while, I dove to word my house locating my state, then the lake and finally my house. Upon approaching my house three entities were floating above it much like bees around a flower. I already knew what they were. Eyeless entities. My mental construct for viruses or other sicknesses. I wasn't surprised, it seems there is a constant flue or cold comeing home with the kids. My ancestors would have called them evil spirits, and it's easy to see why. If the shaman saw them the way I do, no wonder. At first I thought that to, but time and observation taught me.

I flushed them away with a brush of my will. I don't know if it does any good at all, but I don't like to let them just stay there. Afterward I floated down into my room, and a spirit guide was sitting on my bed. She got up and greeted me with a hug. As beautiful and brilliant as ever. I did not have to say anything they always know what I am thinking. She said that I'm seeing the eyeless ones more now because I'm becoming more aware. I see them that way because they do not have a conciousness like mine. My inturpretation of a lak of similar conciousness is to construct their form without eyes. An old adage about eyes being the windows to the soul comes to mind. She then tells me that Somone wants to see me and that I have to make the journey in person. A trip into the vantana wilderness. I asked her what this was about. She didn't answer she just kissed my forehead and then I was back. I laid there for a few moments and then I decided to experiment with putting myself to sleep with vibrations. I called them up and let them take me... it worked like a charm. I was asleep in moments and diving into my endless dreams. At one point I could see the ventana cone in the distance with a soft blue aura around it.

Last time I went down there my truck broke down in hollister. I guess I'm headed back soon. I'll start makeing preparations. Since my knee injury I have not been able to complete arduouse hikes into tge wilderness areas, but I'm feeling like its time to test myself. I think I'll leave in about two weeks.

White Crane Feather

Let the pull take me.

So it was early this morning around 5 am. My oldest fell asleep on the sopha so I was lazy and did not want to carry is big butt up stairs. I woke up about five and had th sensation that was being called out. I briefly heard drums in the hypnagogic places upon waking this is not uncommon for me. After getting a glass of water I returned to the Sopha and meditated to vibrations and exit. I exited by rolling. It was theasiest for the position I was in. I was on the floor after the roll out and I was looking around at the texture of the walls and the texture of the carpet. My vision sort of honed in on the textures like a microscope as I tuned my awareness to them. Then I felt a little off kilter. Something was pulling on me, trying to take me somewhere. I was a little irritated at first, but i let the emotion pass through me and I surrendered to it. I was floated up through the ceiling to upstairs. I was standing right in front of my mothers room. I passed through the door. She was asleep on her bed, but there was a male entity standing in her room. I maneuvered around to face it, and it was an eyeless virus entity. I was not surprised. My oldest has had a bit of a fevor and my middle one just got over one..... AGAIN. But this one was in my mothers room. She is next. She has emphazima do to a lifetime of smoking, and this particular virus stirred up my five year olds tendency for croup.

While studying it, it open it's mouth to threaten me, but I'm am not phased by these paracites. I reached out with my awareness and crushed it into nothing. I walked over to my mother and held my hands over her and called for the same crushing will to enter her body and seek them out. I stood there for a few moments as the blue current of my hands intermingled with here. I could feel the little viruses like little hot pieces of sand. There were so many, but I think I got them all. I came back to my body unevenful and went back to sleep.

I wonder if it did any good. There is no real way to tell. I'm going to do the same thing for the baby probably tomorrow morning.

White Crane Feather


As I sit here in my truck getting ready to find a place to have lunch, I have been haveing a conversation with this wonderful young person that has come to me on several occasions. This person in a bout of despair surrendered everything including fear, and asking for a sign entered an altered state and had a first experience. The sound of crossing the vail is the most intense noise I have ever heard in my life. It is so loud and powerful it dwarfs even your thoughts. I first heard it when I to first truely surrendered myself to the spirit. I say spirit instead of god, because often during these times even the concept of god is surrendered aswell even anger with god. God dosnt care about our anger, the spirit moves into us and gives us what we need when we need it.

It's ironic that last night I had surrendered again aswell.

I meditated into vibration last night and held it for a while. In all honesty I was nervous. I have had some very disturbing dreams lately. These dreams were powerfully negative especially the last one, so negative I don't even want to discuss it. My last OOBEs were strange aswell, with my wife leaping up OOB and stopping my journeys, then the susequant depressurizing of the house. I have not been able to make heads or tails of any of it. I sought advice from one of the very few psychic mediums that I actually trust, and she understood that there is a storm of negativity at my location. I don't understand these things at all. But I trust her, so I just let it be. I ground myself and carry on. This last dream felt like nothing less than an attack, but I stood my ground.

Anyway last night it was difficult to make an exit, but I doubled up my effort. Then there was a thickness in the spirit world. Very heavy like molasses everywhere. It was difficult to even move, the harder I tried the harder it resisted. Finally I gave up my usual tactile way of movement and drew up on my knowledge of tai chi and martial arts to move with the thickness of the environment instead of forceing the issue. I moved from my core in a neutrally energetic moving meditation. I also surrendered to the great spirit. Asking only do her will. It worked wonderfully. I moved to my window and just let myself fall through. Once outside the thickness was gone. I let myself feel the cool air and sense the majesty of being OOB, then I took flight. I needed cleansing, so I lifted my chest up to the stars brought the vibrations from deep within and instructed them to take me, they flared up and I surrendered myself once again . Normally I disintegrate into a dissolution experience at this point, but the the spirit had other plans.

The vibrations faded and I was taken back down to my grass. I Ianded softly. Then I continued to kneel in submission. Then a funny thing happened. I became aware of the grass and earthworms and other living things inside of the the soil and on the grass. I could feel them. Then all of a sudden everything collapsed to a pinpoint. It remained like that for a few moments then quit suddenly there is this mass explosion of blue light. It was blinding at first and was accompanied by a deafening roar. When I could see again everything had changed. I was still in my yard yet everything was crackling with the blue currents I have seen in trees and plants. All normal colars and shades were gone. It was just the energy. There were also small orbs and floating currents in the air. It reminded me so very much of the code on the movie the matrix , but the current is more like small blue lightning bolts. It was everywhere and flowed through everything. I was hypnotized by its beauty. I reached down and played with the current in the grass ( i have done this with trees) but this time it was different my hand and arm was made of current aswell and it mixed and mingled with the grass. Completely AMAZING!

Then it occurred to me to take advantage of what was happening. I reached down with my fingers into the earth and invited the other currents into me. I felt them respond right away a tickling vibrating feeling penetrated my arms and legs. Imagine a warm vibrating needle giving you a slow shot but instead of a prick it was pleasurable. It worked its way through me. I asked it to scrub me clean. All that has happened any reason for these dreams or negativity that attaches to me, every cell, every millimeter of my real body, spirit body, and mind... I let it wipe me clean. I felt it work it's way up my body and spine. Curiously pausing briefly at chakras. ( I guess there is something to them after all). When it had passed my neck it seem to condense and focus... Pretty soon my head was in a complete vibration. When it finally left the top of my head, I was l lying there with my eyes open seeming like I had never

Entered a trance in the first place.

I shook my head back and forth in amazement. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me yet again. What is happening ? I don't have a clue, but it feels great and it has changed me yet again.

Thank you god .

White Crane Feather

Disaster averted

I narrowly missed a devistating car accident thursday night. I was comeing home at about nine pm. When at an intersection when the light turned green. a police officer turned on his lights behind me. Probably because of my damaged tail light and the fact that there are a few bars along my way home. I paused when i saw them, and then scanned where to pull over. At the am time i would have been in the intersection a huge white built up f150 blows the red light at a very high speed. The police car goes around me and turns to chase him down. i would have been hit probably directly on my drivers side door.

i made way home in shock. i have spent the last few days just enjoying everything. If that cop had not turned on his lights in those few seconds, i would be in a world of hurt right now. The timing was absolutely perfect. I volunteered at my kid kindergarden class yesterday and have been simply amazed at all the wonderful little faces.

I know these things happen, but there is no doubt in my mind someone was looking out for me.

White Crane Feather

Disaster Disaster Disaster

What the **** just happened?

I'm Laying here moments after a very disturbing event. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. I'm in tears actually at this moment. I know there is a few people that believe me about the **** that happens to me, but this is one of those instances that takes the cake.

I woke up laying in bed. Some sort of noise woke me up, not one of the normal noises of my house. My niece, mother, and two boys all make certain kinds of sounds. It was none of them. I removed my walther p38 from the bedside safe, I chamber a round... then I think better of it and remove the magazine then remove the round from the chamber and replace the magazine. If I am startled I won't be able to just shoot. I will have to consciously chamber another round. This places a cognitive check incase I don't really want to shoot. It's just a way of preventing an accident.

I clear the house. Check the Windows and doors...nothing.

I then lay down after replacing the walther feeling relaxed an satisfied that everyone is safe. I have an entire house of women an children to protect, and I take that role very seriously.

I then decide to journey. I initiate vibration. It did not take long. There was a slight up and down motion then I'm standing up out of body. I turn to float away, and out of nowhere my wife sits up an grabs my arm. "Here" she says, "throw this away for me." I am shocked at this. She hands me something small. I am in doubt that I have exited, this would be something she would do, but seconds latter I am back in my body. In the last seconds before leaving trance I see mischievous and somehow familure smile cross my wife's face...........----**** NOT MY WIFE !!!!! Were my thoughts.

I'm Laying there now fully back and I sit up to look at her. Sound asleep and as beautiful as ever. I have got picture perfect lovely Philippina wife.

Ok..... This needs to be looked into. I lay back initiate vibrations again. I exit and start to get up but she suddenly has me by my arm again. This Time I am ready. I turn toward her and slam my will into her ( a bit like an astral punch) while saying "who the **** are you!!"

No effect. The grip tightens. It's very tight but not painful. There is a firmness and control to it, the way you would control a child having temper tantrum. She flings me sideways back into my body.

I sit up. Looking back at her sound asleep. I utter under my breath, that whatever you are you are not getting away with that. My ego martial art instructor bravado I guess. I lay back down for another go at this.

Vibrations came briefly then faded again then faded. I could not back....but during my last try my lips and tung start to move an begin to mouth something in a Studder. Completely not my doing.

"Dddddddddd ddd d d dis disaster, disaster, disaster."

I sit up ----- holy **** what was that?!?! ( I apologize form my words i tend to revert to my father's sailor habits when I get excited)

I am sitting up in bed in disbelief and tears. Nothing has ever done that before.

It took me a few moment to calm down. But finally I decided the best thing to do is to go back to sleep.

I lay down and start listening to my wife's and baby's breathing. It always comforts me. But there is a problem. I have rolling bands of goose bumps coursing through me. They pulsate when there is a visitor. It's still here. I don't feel threatened. But it's still disturbing given what just happened.

Then something totally unexpected happens. I am not altered in any way. Fully awake and pondering events. I'm on my side looking at my baby with the blankets pulled up to my ears.

My wife starts to stir awake, it's dark but light enough for silhouettes. She sits up. I lay motionless but with my eyes cracked open watching her. She adjusts the covers around the baby for better warmth. Then she stops. A change in her posture somehow I can't explain it. She looks straight at me.

Out loud, "So....did You throw it away?" I pretended to be asleep. No way she could tell I was awake and all of that did not happen in normal reality. It was entirely an obe event, yet here she is awake an asking about it. It's not over.

She lays back down. The frequency of massive Pulsating chills are overwhelming....then the most amazing thing happens. I hear this noise like an air compressor release valve. It's a real noise, I am wide awake and the room... Mabey the whole house literally decompresses. I can feel it in my ears and there is a significant movement of air through at least our room along with the sound.


I don't know what else to say. I'm still in a bit of shock. Time will tell what it all means I guess. I just surrender myself to God the great spirit. Whatever I am to do with all this, I'll leave it up to them ( the powers that be) to let me know when and how. I just hope I'm not nuts.

Is it selfish of me to hope that if there is a disaster that it's not here? GOD I hope it is one of those bread crumb words and not an actual disaster.

Thanks for listening.

Follow up.

After finishing that blog early this morning I got up to take a pee. When I got back I was crawling into bed slowly as to not wake the baby or my wife. Then my wife reached out and her hand grabbed my arm. I just about jumped out of my skin. It was just the way it went down when altered same arm  and everything.

She wanted to make love. We made out little pallet on the floor and all was set right. :)

I don't know. She must have been thinking about this while sleeping and as I projected it must have stimulated her to react the way she would latter. Often dreams are about planning for future events. I think I jumped the gun a bit with spirits and such. I just wasn't expecting to interact with my wife that way. Still the "disaster" thing is still disturbing. Regardless I live a blessed if not crazy life. I still have a lot to learn about altered state interpretation. 

I'm so very blessed. Thank you god. 

White Crane Feather

Three muskateer dream


Another cool dream. I was feeling little tired this afternoon, so I took nap upstairs. The dream started of with me being some sort bartender in what seemed like an old French tavern or saloon. At one point I saw myself in the mirror. I had long hair with a long trimmed mustache with brown hair.

Quit suddenly a group of men came into the bar with swords drawn. The whole theme was sort of a Three musketeers scenario. I immediately started go calculate my odds against the men. I had some sort o military training an I thought my odds were pretty good if could maintain higher ground. I also had a secret. There was a very special weapon behind some of the bottles of whisky. A razor sharp flexible sword that was some sort of relic. In fact it was what the men were come for.

They started to interrogate me while I played dumb. I was waiting for the right moment to retrieve the sword, when I miscalculated how aggressive they will become. Two men leaped over the bar and on grabbed me and shove me against the shelves with the spirits. I had my hand instinctively protecting my neck and a small dagger penetrated my hand. The were holding me against the shelves intent on killing me. I panicked for just a second chastising myself for not taking the initiative. That's when A calm cam over me and all my training was accessible. I took my hand an knocked away the whisky an spirits to reveal the sword. I yelled at them that they could have it. Revealing the sword brought a stop to the action an an awe in all the men even me. It was a very special relic though I can't recall what for. Taking advantage of the pause I grabbed the sword and spun the guy on me into the other while slashing his neck. Without hesitating I followed him as a fell into the other using him as a shield. I dispatch the other as he caught the other. The sword was light an flexible like wielding a large razor blade. ( this actually makes a lot of sense to me, I have competed and teach with the Chinese broad sword which is usually made out of spring steal for safety)

I then leaped onto the bar an engaged the others. A fantastic battle ensued (similar to movies of the three muskateers mixed with Chinese acrobatic kung fun). I was very good.

I woke up when finally defeating their leader in an acrobatic maneuver.

Very cool dream. This one was not a epic as some of the others, but it was worthy of mention. On a side note, I was at a gun and knife show today and there were very interesting sword pieces and bayonets.

White Crane Feather

Another grand epic drem.

I have had a few recently, but this one was awesome. It was a cross between just about every Alian movie I have ever seen. As usual im switching characters throught the dream as events unfold.

In short it's about a highly evolved biological Weapon called a philandacle. It has escaped and is turned loose into the country side. It is overly efficient and intelligent killer and that is the only it knows to do. Constant killing. It was a bit of nightmare to begin with. The darkest possible imagery. At one point it slaughtered an entire wedding reception. I can't get into all the details they are fading from me and I'd be here for hours.

But one of the main characters was some sort of agent that knew what it was. He was trying to divert the creature. He discovered that the philandacle was so bent on being a hunter that it would chase a large dog and kill it first because it was more of a physical challenge than a human.several times he narrowly escaped death by leaping into a back yard with dogs. This was one of the first times I got a look at it. It's a changling like creature but it was solid black with several hornes and spikes in various places it was man like but sleek and muscular. If reminded me of a cross between tow creatures in the book "Elf stones of shamnara" by terry brooks ( a child hood favorite). The dada Moore and the reaper. These were demon like creatures from another realm.

Quite entertaining. A bit like watching an action thriller. There was even comic relief. At some point the philandacle tracked this older woman who was a bit of a crazy psychic. She knew it was comeing and stood behind a door. When it approached, she said through the door.

" I know you are going to kill me, but I just want one thing." she opens the door and faces it. Intrigued at her bravery it nods its head. She says, "I want to see your butt"

"my butt?" it says in a very guttural voice.

It then turns around and stands with its back to her. She looks at its butt, then swings her foot a kicks it in the butt

Then she runs laughing down the hallway.

""hahaha at least I kicked your butt!!!!"

The philandacle was shocked and even a bit amused he gave a half hearted persuit and after she dove in a lake and was clumsily trying to swim away, it decided to let her go.

There were many other scenarios.

Best friends that end up in a stand off with it

Fire and police personnel trying to put together these rapid fire mass killings. The philandacle is so elusive no one even resly lives to see it and talk, do the authorities are baffled znd in panic mode.

I don't know why I have these dreams, but sometimes I think I should be writing screan plays. They are probably a little goofy for Hollywood. But they are so fun. Every time I have them I emerge with this feeling that I have actually fought these battles and participated in the drama. I'm not usually lucid during these, so the emotions and experience become part of me. It's just simply incredible. Sometimes I feel like I'm a battled hardened scifi kick but warrior. I have even taught some of the martial arts discoveries I had made in my dreams.

Quite a life!!!!

White Crane Feather

Revelation and Exploring Earth.

So last night, I decided to leave this damned iPhone in the bathroom. Every since I got it, it's laying around with me at night, and as my mind starts wondering through things I'll get ideas and it becomes irresistible to research them on the Internet. I have had a iPhone for a few years now. Pretty much ever since I started posting on these forums. My mind works very fast, you might say I have ADD, so by the time I would even start to open my laptop my mind would have moved on. Aditionally on my laptop there is a ton of accounting and business to be done, so i would get distracted and do that instead. I loath accounting, so I avoid my laptop by instinct. The iPhone allows me instant recording of my thoughts or accesses to information, so it's become a bed buddy.

Anyway. I have been working on running my family in the most organic and healthy way possible. I have been doing tons of research on food, sleep, relaxation, nutrition etc etc. Then yesterday morning my seven year old sat in bed between my wife and I and mockingly made this dumb look on his face and started to pretend to type on an iPhone. ( both me and my wife were doing the morning routine of laying in bed engrossed in these little miricle machines --- as I'm doing at this moment---). How funny that a seven year old is makeing fun of us. And rightly so.

I spent the whole day taking care of the kids and thinking about how I'm going to structure the new year. One of my resolutions is to get more sleep and set a better example for my sons on the use of technology ( its also one of the reasons Santa brought them a wii.... If i am going to teach them about moderation, we have to have something to moderate)

Last night I left the iPhone downstairs for the first time in....well... Years actually.

Wow. Sure enough my mind started whirriling about, PVC dome green houses which led to uv ratings of plastic which led to and idea about a large long lasting tomato garden, which led to ideas of building a real wigwam with a small fire place for meditation, which lead I ideas about building a sweat lodge ( or a wigwam sauna)...... On.... and....on. Then I was asleep. If I had my iPhone with me, I would not have been asleep until 2 am. my mind is a gift and a curse. It can cause me to accomplish more things in a week than most people can in years, or it can lead to a myriad of half baked half completed projects. ( just ask my wife).

Mission accomplished.... Right? Well yes, but I woke up in sleep paralysis.

At first I struggled not fully lucid, but my experience soon kicked in. There was no evil presence or sign of my shadow. I kicked its ass a few weeks ago, so it probably won't be back for quit sometime.

The strange thing is that I was stuck for a while. It was the longest episode of sp I had ever had. I kept trying to snap myself out of it, but it wasnt working. I'd either try to move physically or I would shift my conciousness a little bIt and exit from my body while trying to move physically. I know these states well by now, so I was not fooled as if it were a false awakening, but I would go back in my body and try again. It wasnt really uncomfortable, I was in a problem solving mode, but it was frustrating. Whenever I start to think I'm a master at these altered states, I am thrown a new curveball.

Then it occurred to me, the perhaps I was not in the traditional sp state. Perhaps I was just asleep but aware. I have been here before. I exited from my body to study myself. I hovered over myself investigating how i looked. I looked asleep to me.

Then I went back inside and just existed fully asleep but fully aware. I could listen to my wife breathing and hear the sounds of the night, yet I know that I am asleep. Am I dreaming about sleeping again? What should this be called? ----- lucid sleeping---?

I then decided to explore a bit. I dove my conciousness inside of my own head. I was searching for something. After a while I found it. A spot... A mechanism for wakeing.

I wish I could explain how i did it. If it were a visual representation you might see a brain with a tiny glowing bit for what I found, but it wasn't visual. It was simply experiential. There is no other way to explain it.

I actually studied this place for a few moments. I sort of orbited it investigating. ( again don't confuse this with a visual experience, I'm doing my best to explaine it). Then I activated it.... And poof I was awake. Fully aware I sat up in bed. I told myself ---good job---- and laid back down.

Then I initiated ap vibrations instantly and exited my body and shot up through the ceiling into the air. I spent the rest of the night exploring the earth. I flew through mountains and valleys, and not haveing spent much time in the ocean, I dove into the water and spent a vast amount of time visiting whales. On particular group let me inside of them and access to their memories. ( i think they were greys ) Everything from what it feels like eating plangton to their run ins with various boats. There were several good stories even humerous ones.

I do apologize, when I returned from the journey, my iPhone was downstairs, and i am disciplining myself to leave it alone during the night, so I went back to an eventless sleep. I wanted to record every detail right then, but I would have had to break my self imposed restriction. Unfortunately the details of all this are rapidly fading. I am only retaining pockets.

But knowing what it's like to be a whale, is something that I will never ever forget, and now that I know where the "waking spot" is. I doubt I will ever be stuck again inside of my sleep.

Just another lesson. I wonder what I will learn next?

White Crane Feather

Worlds of myst and a black cat.

Last night, I took a little journey.

Initiated vibrations about 11 pm. It was interesting because my control over the different states is becoming very precise. I was able to bring myself down and back up again consciously through different levels of conciousness. There are the vibratory stages. Different places along that corolate to different intensities along with the white noises. I have also noticed that other noises change aswell slowing down and changing pitch. My baby is sick right now with croup so a cool humidifier is running. My wife has it pointed at our bed so there is this movie like myst that floats around us. The bubbling sound it makes I found I could speed up or slow down. The myst that floats around us gives a very magical feeling mixed with the breathing of my wife and baby. I can leave my eyes partially when drifting into the I between places now, so I let the myst take form. I opened up and surrendered my self to the sacred water to see what I might learn.

At first the myst just floated around me, but then as I let myself dive deeper into its form. Things started to take shape. People, buildings, and different random things would form out if the myst. I seemed to be floating through different scenarios and places. A couple arguing in an Asian language, a European woman talking on her cell phone, some kids playing soccer. I watch the shifting around for a bit fascinated, then directed things a bit more. I thought of my other boys asleep in the other room and there sleeping faces formed out if the white myst. I reached out with my hand ( spirit body) and touched the image. The myst swirled and dispursed a bit, then reformed. I felt so very blessed at that moment. What a magical life I have. How many people get to experience these sorts of things? Weather it's all in my head or something much more, it's simply incredible to whiteness. I was wishing my wife could see this, then her face formed from the vapor aswell. Her sharp beutiful Asian features, even though she is right next to me in bed, came into focus right in front of me. I then checked on my sisters. One was doing something probably in a kitchen, and the other sleeping. Then my nephews, one playing video games, the other on his computer. My niece was talking to someone.

As fun as the myst was I let it my body float up and land on the floor. I thought for a few moments about the myst, and that I may have just discovered scrying for myself. Then I took a flying leap through my walls and arched up into the air. I smiled at my oak trees as I passed and marveled at the feel of the cool air on my 'skin'.

I took some playful twists as I shot straight up through the upper atmosphere and into space. The star field Opened up as beautiful as ever. I raised my 'hands' to the stars and profusely thanked the universe. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel the tingle of warmth from the starlight on my 'face' and 'hands'. When I was finished my worship of the the universe and great spirit, I let myself fall back as if gravity had me. I fell back toward earth, I took notice of the full moon then spun into a nose dive.

I landed back in front of my house. Then I noticed something moving down in the court. I walked over to investigate. It was a cat in my neighbors yard. A black cat. I walked over and started to pet it. It purred and returned my affection. The cat would distort a bit when it turned its head or moved. This ment to me that this was not a cat. It was a spirit. It had a strangely familiar energy. Like I have known this personality for a very long time. Still the fur and purring was comforting. Then I said. " so good to see you again, whoever you are"

The cat responded by running its face into my hands.

I sat there petting it for a few minutes, then I let it meander off. I was still wondering who she was. A very distinct loveing feminine energy. I have known this spirit very well, I am just unable to put her into context. I don't know Mabey that's apart of what she is...... Sort of half jokeing to myself, I though Mabey that's why they call black cats "familures".

At this point things have grown dark and I'm becoming aware of the physical. My baby is coughing and starting to whine a bit, it's probably what broke my trance. I reach over and put my hands in his to remind him that I'm there in the dark. The covers have a slight dampness to them from the humidifier/myst machine.

Strange visions tonight. Scrying, black cats, a full moon. A very sterio typical Wiccan themed set of events. I suspect I will see that cat again, she is here in that form for a reason. I suppose I will be using myst in the future to check on people aswell. It's all very new to me, but somehow I have the feeling that it's been done for ages, by my ancestors.

White Crane Feather

Mounting synchronicity

So with my last journey then the following syncronistic conversation the following day, I did some research on ATV conversion to ethanol.

I do not think it has anything to do with that. I do think the message I heard was ment to draw my attention to this friend I have. I have lunch with him every Thursday. He is more of a lunch buddy. I met him haveing lunch every week at the same place. Then he stopped comeing in all of a sudden, then a few blogs ago I mentioned I had some dreams where I saw him withering away. Then I saw him in the gass station and he was on a cane and shaking like he had parkensens. I did not see him for quite a while after that. I went into the little restaurants every Tuesday and Thursday hopeing to run into him ( we never exchanged numbers). I was very concerned for him, and even the bartender became concerned for him after I told her that I saw him in bad shape. Finally he came in and, I was releaved, and openly do. He was very touched that Somone had become so concerned about him.

Turned out he had some sort of virus that's pretty common actually but attacks his nervous system. He was on a respirator for a while, but he pulled through it.

Turns out that we have done very similar intrests. He is an economist and is into traditional barter. I offered to let his son train at my school, because he has an interest. Then I bought a new hunting riffke, and it just do happens that he has stored 308 ammunition but no longer has a riffle. He gave me a box and I gave him some of my traps. He wants to give me his ammo on exchange for training his son.

Now the journey I took and heard those words and the very next day it refers back to him. Now I'm seeing more and more syncronistic pointers everywhere.

No. It's not about ATVs. It's about him. possibly his son.

The breadcrmbs do not lie. When the universe speaks I must listen.

I just write this fluidly without edit, I apologize for any grammer issues.

Thanks for listening

White Crane Feather

A message and dreams of Kung fu

Last night I had an amazing dream of martial arts training. It had an inception/matrix like twist to it. A teacher of mine from years ago, Sifu Wu, was training me inside of the dream world. We were all sleeping inside of this small room but we were descended into another dream world, where I was constantly being attacked by different things Sifu would throw at me. It was a constant barrage of attack. I was lucid inside of the second dream world, so I could fly, and there were spectacular matrix like battles. I was doing very well, but it was stressful. It felt good to be able to perform some of those Ariel techniques I used to do. My injuries prevent me from doing a lot these days.

It seemed like I was in this training session for hours. The great thing about these dreams, is that it stays with me almost like real training.

After I woke up. I was sitting on my sofa quit amazed at what just happened, then I decided to take a journey. Before starting meditations, I ask for just one line of information on the comeing year. I start the necessary meditations. Strange I did not need to exit on purpose I felt myself slip out of myself in almost minutes.

I'm standing in my living room. I am marveling at how easy this is getting and at how crystal clear the experience is. I can feel this slight pressure on my back trying to shove me forward. I know this feeling. It usually happens when my physical body is in an awkward position causing discomfort and in this state I interprete it as pressure. I compensate as much as I can. I make my way to my door to go outside. I plunge my hands through the door ( just for fun) then I go through the door rather forcefully just to avoid any problems. I had acknowledged that the door was there, so I might of had a problem. It was a little stiff but I got through. The funny thing is that I though I heard the door rattle a little bit. I look at it for second wondering if I actually made the door rattle. I plunge my hands back and forth to see if I could get it to do it again. It diddnt.

I walk outside and the outdoors is in this strange half light. This is because it's still dark. The clouds have a purplish look to them. There seems to be a vortex forming in them. That's when I hear something like the ringing of an old phone. It rings a couple times, then a female voice like over a loud speaker says:

"Cancel the fuel.....ATV"

That's it. As my mind raced to make sense of it I lost trance and I'm back in the house. I don't know what it means, but my guess it will reveal itself when the time is right.

I went back upstairs and fell asleep for more of my endless dreams.

White Crane Feather

I'm amazed.

After crushing my shadow the other night, I have felt renewed. I finally got to running again. A short run, and my knee hurt like hell and my body protested, but I reveled in it. I practices my 100 point bak mei form ( white eye brow), and meditated for about 20 minutes.

I was amazed at how quick my meditations led to an altered state. I created a meditation specifically for building up endorphins and during the practice I was transported to this vivd vision of a plane like reality. Edless clouds stretched out underneath and above me. It was wonderful as I stired my brain for endorphins and I could feel them flow. How ******* awesome to have control over my brain like this. I feel like there is nothing that I cannot accomplish.

Thank you god.