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A man awake

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Seeker79's Blog and his travels

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White Crane Feather

Nightmare & gift

I had a horrible nightmare a few nights ago. I was dreaming that my five year old ws being particular annoying and honrey. We were in a store and he would not stop touching things etc etc. I finally gave him something to look at to ocupy him, but I was not planning in buying it. Then the next thing I new he was tearing the plastic from it. Angry now, I scolded him. Grabed him and put him on this stool for a time out. Here's the deal I had a feeling he was going lurch when I let him go in a fit, I purposely turned away to let him tantrum on his own even if that ment he fell. He did. Landed at an awkward angle on his head. He lay motionless. I charged up to him. His eyes were open, and one if his eyes was filling with blood. My heart droped. I felt like I was going to throw up. I woke up.

Upon wakeing I was relived beyond measure that it was a dream, but still felt sick and vowed to never behave that way in real life. It was not out of character for me to do something like that. It will be now.

I thank the great spirit for allowing to learn lessons like these while dreaming. One must never be angry at children for being children. I already new this. But the image of my little boy on the floor motionless with blood in his eye is burned forever into my head will give me a constant check during frustrating moments.

What a wonderful and powerful gift.

White Crane Feather

The chair

Vision log

July 22 2011

Well interesting dream.  I was dreaming that I was staying over at this persons apartment  in a large city. The odd part was that I was there to learn something from him. Something very important. In fact this person was very Importent. At one time I was thinking this Is an odd sort of person to have met the president. The scenerio really begins with me waking in his apartment.

 It's morning, and I'm waiting for him to wake up. I'm sleeping on a recliner. I decide to take a journy, but meditations failed. Not sure why. I felt a twinge of vibration but I could not exit. ( I'm dreaming of course although a journy in a dream would have been very interesting)

I get up and move to a recliner outside. Oddly it's in a city and it's a ground floor entry way to his apartment. I rest there for a while. Normally i dont like cities but the trafic and people going by is somewhat comforting. Then I'm reminded that apartment entryways have video camaras. I look around and locate them. I'm no longer relaxed so I get up. (It gets a little hazy from here.) I find myself across the street possibly trying to help someone with something a child. It seems like I have someone by the hand. But there is something else I'm trying to carry as well. It's rushed the intercection is going to turn green. At the last moment I decide I cannot carry the other thing and I rush the child to the curb. ( I never did see the child. After that it's gone)

I look back at the intersection at what I had to leave behind. It's a chair. Part of it has been crushed by a car. ( I did not notice at the time, but this chair and I have a history. It goes way back to a dream I had 9 years ago about this odd chair just sitting in my halway with light shining on it..... Then during a period of time in my life that I have come to recognize as a transpersonsl or shamanic awakening..... Wild sets of synchronistic events were leading me to different learning sources... I was already haveing OBEs and doing things in spirit, but with no formal reading or understanding. Then syncronistic events brought one of Robert bruces book "astral dynamics  to my life". That chair is on the cover!!!!!!----same chair!!!! No mistaking it.....no possabiliy of a false memory or confirmation bias....)

No this very same chair is partially crushed in the intersection. Trafic is to heavy to save it.

I make way back to the apartment. He is awake this person I'm supposed to learn something from. Odd thing. I can never get a good look at his face. It's like on tv when someone is naked. Something Is always obstructing a clear view. Or he just happens to turn away. I follow him into a bathroom where he goes through his morning routine. I wait patiently to do the same thing. When it's my turn I brush my teeth etc etc.... I need to go pee really bad.  So I start to use the toilet. It's takeing forever. It's takeing so long, I hear him behind me saying something to the effect of ---quit takeing so long we have a lot to learn--

I try to hurry but I'm still peeing. It takes such a ridiculous amount of time...... That I notice the non reality of it and become lucid. I'm dreaming!!!!  This man does not have the quality of a dream character. Crap I can't stop peeing!!!! ( yeah I know this is getting comical ) that's when I realize that it's my body that needs to go pee really bad. Crap!!!! I'm going to have to wake up.  He comes in one last time inquiring about what's takeing so long. As I look over my shoulder I can see him now. Tall balled, he is a spirit guide that I know. Sometimes shows up as a white tiger. I'm angry that I'm going to have to wake up. ( I'm not to ashamed to admit once in my adult life I wet the bed while dreaming about peeing.... Not gonna happen) I despretly want to learn whatever is on the agenda. 

He starts laughing boisterously. He relizes what is happening. I try to stop peeing but I can't. Well nature calls. I wake myself up and go to the bathroom. 


The chair? It symbolizes something. Could it be I'm finished with a phase of learning and headed into a new one. That seemed to be the theme of he dream. Time will tell. I often wonder what's happening in dreams I cannot remember. Am I learning things that I am not concouse of? If I did not need to go pee what would I have learned?  Would I have even remembered?

White Crane Feather

A bad spirit? Or set back?

Vision log

July 5th 2011


Had a short exit and flight. I was playing with my oak tree. The trees have this electric like current and glow to them. Its very cool. I was playing with this spiritual current watching it fizle and jump through the tree.   But that's not the major event of the night. 

Major set back.

I just suffered a major sleep paralysis event. Yet it's a valuable lesson eventhough I'm still shaken.  It's been years since I thought I mastered this.... It had multiple levels. 

After my short journy this night I went back to sleep. At some point I was dreaming that I was talking with two friends. One I cannot identify, the other is this man malaki. Malaki is ....well not totally homeless but .... Often is homeless man I interact with ocasionally. He is one of the only people that know that I can be completely open with eith the things that happen to me. Everyone once and a while we meet at a bar and discuss things. Here's the deal. A lifetime of drug use has put him in some strange places. He is accentric but is a good guy and entertains everyone in the little old town at the bars here where I live.  

The dream progresses to me being about to leave then malaci says something to the point of you don't have to say hi when you see me. Then I tell him I enjoy our talks, so of course I will. I was feeling like he was trying to end our relationship and I was hurt ( I am not lucid at this point. ) 

He then has an unusual steadiness and clearness to his voice that malaci never has. and he says . "no really we don't have to hang out"

Hurt I get up and say something to the effect of " ok if you want that" then I start to walk out. Turning one last time to say by. I'm stoped. Malakis eyes and face are different. There is s grey aura to them. Not understanding and slightly alarmed I keep walking. When I step out of the building I am standing at the top of this long stair case leading to a barren street. There is also this grey Hugh to everything. It's all wrong... I become lucid. Realizing I'm dreaming I become angry. What was that all about? What was that thing trying to come between me and Malaki? I don't believe in evil spirits but that dosnt mean that some don't meddle. I shoot up into the sky to fly over the top of the building to come in behind the thing as a surprise. I start to steady myself for this encounter, similar to what I do before a full contact match. 

Dam I start to wake up. Here's the deal I wake up in sleep pralysis.... Although even after all this time I did not recognize it. There is something like a leather shackles on each of my wrists holding me down. ( I inturpreted it as a counter measure from the thing pretending to be malaki)  the first thing I tried was reaching down with my awareness to take control of them. It started to work but then I'm distracted by my four year old sobbing upstairs and my wife yelling frantically. I'm thinking it's real---- I'm not totally lucid I guess---- this time I struggle physically with the shackles ( my big mistake.... never struggle with sleep pralysis always stay calm and take mental control..., I of all people know better)   The shackles are alive they react to My attempts to remove them but evenchually I manage to peel each shackle off and crumple them to oblivion. Thinking I'm free I start to get up, but I'm not. I still hear the commotion up stairs and I am  desperate to get up there. By the way I am in full hypnogogia at this point. My  eyes are physically open. There is an info mertial sbout getting government grants on the television. 

I am no longer shackled but my blanket had intertwined itself in my legs and arms and was pinning me. Now I realize I'm in sleep pralysis, but instead of calming down I still feel like it was that thing and I'm under attack ( dam abdulamengata). I reach down with my awareness and set my blanket on fire. This frees me I Jump up..... Still hearing the comotion Up stairs and fully believing it's real I charge down the hall way.... Nope I jumped out of body I can tell. I turn around to see myself eyes wide open still on the coach. I run and dive back in. As I sit up physically I realize all the comotion up staires was a hullucination. I stand up. Im up physically but must be still altered because I can see that traditionally reported grey cloud still in the formal room. I charge down the hall way toword it. Then in a very harsh whisper as to not wake my wife. I say. " get the **** out of here and don't come back or I will come for you"  it fades through the wall. I'm left standing there haveing just seen the dam thing while in physical. Not liking the ramifications of that I walk back to the sofa. I clear my head and say a prayer for guidance.


1) im a nutcase

2) some spirit wanted to implant the idea of separating me and Malaki, I caught it red handed, and a struggle ensued. ( this would be consistent with the concepts of soul retrieval practice by shaman) is malaki in trouble? Has a spirit attached itself to him? Does he need help?

3) My emotions got the better of me after an odd dream, and i was unable to deal with the  sleep pralysis properly.

As usual I will assume all three, until there is reason not to.

I hope I'm not in for some horror movie style fight with something that is attached to malaki, but if it comes  here again it's on, I will mediated for guidance.  I might go after it for Malakis sake. It dosnt seem to like my influence.

Follow up July 31

Strange thing, I talked to malki yesterday. I felt like I had to tell him about it. I finally found him. He wonders all over the place. He said there are some dark forces in his life. Doors that have been opened through drug use. I told him that I figured as much, then I told him----and it ( incase its listening) that I'm not apart of that.

I really think it has claimed malaki and by discussing spirit world stuff it noticed me and got a little territorial when I started to teach him about awareness.

Strange thing, not long after malaki goes outside to have a cigerate ( I dont smoke)---- but he never came back, it felt strange. Almost like a self fulfilling dream. Was the entire scenerio set up so I would tell him and he would react that way? Was he still being influenced? Was the entire thing set up by guides and positive forces to help malaki be more aware? I don't know, I am starting to belive that the whole thing is for Malakis benefit. My Wiccan friend told me that I carry healing with me, and that the coincidences, ocurances , and people that I attract are all spart of it. I don't know. I prey very often for the great spirit to work through me..... Maby that is what happened.

I feel like it is over, and is in Malakis hands now. Possibly a lesson in awareness for him.

White Crane Feather


Vision log

June 26th 2011

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I spent nearly the entire nite lucid and in spirit learning the most incredible things.

This entry is going to be long. There is so much to record.

Set up.

After the amazing weekend in the desert, on Saturday I help an older man after he crashed his bike. We were taking pictures by a bike trail and an old guy crashed his bike. I ran over and administered first responders first aid and assessment. The poor guy injured himself pretty bad . Skinned up badly, injured shoulder, and a huge dent on his helmet. He was loopy and suffering from memory loss, but he adamantly refused to go to he hospital. I drove him home. And made him call his daughter so I could talk to her. I also went to his neighbors house to make sure someone would stay with him after I left.

This is relevant because philanthropy, giving, and extension to others is a large part of spiritual awakenings. 

I had taken a long nap with my boys earlier in the day. This was an unintended presleep setup. About 9:30 I started to get those feelings that something is present. A visitor.  I could tell I was relaxed and in the proper frame of mind, so I laid back and initiated vibrations. It took me about 20 minutes. Upon vibrations I sat up. I did not need a reality check. I looked around he house a bit to see if I could find the visitor, but no luck. No one was there.

I went to a wall to go through it and made the mistake of remember some of my difficulties going through walls. Sure enough the old habit of physical reality made it difficult getting through the wall. I ended up forcing my hand through and grabbing the other side like a ledge and pulling myself through like pulling myself up onto something. I remember chuckling at myself at not having master  this yet. I wonder if I ever will. It's never a problem if I focus on the goal not the task. 

After going through the wall something took control over me and lifted me into the air. It was like a chair underneath me. It was not a loss of control. It was relieving of it. This happens when guides have important things to show me. I was taken around my property to float up to various plants both wild and in my garden. I would come up to them and understand them. I can't explain it other than that. It was a communication but more like a melding. I just knew things about them. 

This session was almost like a lecture. I was even in an invisible chair. It ended with me floating in front of one of my oak trees. I reached out and took some of it's leaves in my hand. I was marveling at the the rich texture of the leaves. I then felt myself reintegrating with the physical. Halfway I decided to initiate vibrations again. I did, then i sat up again. I got up again, about then my mother and my two boys came down the hall. I had to figure out if they were physically there or in spirit. Then one of my kids shot through the wall.... . 

I asked my mom what they were doing. She said that she was out teaching them things. We then had a conversation about some of the things she was teaching them. Then my five year old came up to me and grabbed me by arm asking form me to play with him. I told him that I had some other things to do, but if he wanted he could go outside and try flying. 

Not long after talking with my mother i felt the reintegration. Again I reinitiated half way through it. This time I wanted to experiment with something. Someone on um forums had mentioned that they regularly turn themselves into a wolf. I have herd of this in ancient shamanic traditions aswell. 

I got up, went through the wall quite easily this time. I stood in my yard and closed my eyes and called upon the spirit of a bear that I have been tracking for several years in the Mclullan  wilderness.. I did not need to look he came up behind me.  ( this gets a little comical) there must be spirits getting a good laugh at some if my antics 

Not knowing quite what to do, I backed into the bear. Grabbed his arms and basically put him on like you would a Jacket. It was pretty tough. Nothing seemed to fit right. After basically being in the bear, I started walking on all four like the bear would, but my right leg kept popping out. I would hit it and pound it a couple of times. Finally it stayed in. After a little while I got the hang of it. I was a bear. I went to the woods around the lake not to far from my house. I was foraging and climbing trees. It was incredible.  Then I noticed a change. A shift. The woods were different now. Older massively huge entangled and beautiful trees, almost prehistoric. I have been here before. It was the garden. Everything was different. I spent hours knocking over dead trees, stumps, and rocks just to get a look at all of these odd otherworldly insects. ( could this be another planet?)

Eventually I came upon this stream. Very pure. I took a drink. I cant explain how refreshing it was. That's when I looked up stream and noticed them. 

In a pool there was a small group of young women laughing, playing, and talking. They were completely NAKED!! And perfectly beautiful. Not all super skinny either. On of them was fairly large. 

Only on of them noticed me staring, to my surprise she smiled and walked toward me. I wasn't sure what to say or do. I was marveling at her incredible beauty. Perfect feminine features with shoulder length dark black curly hair. She was young. Much younger than me. The thought of her young appearance and my obvious attraction for her even lust made me feel guilty,  so I turned my head.

At about that time she was close to me. She reached over massaging my chin and said "silly bear, I am much older than you are." she knew what I was thinking!!! She then slid her hand in me and separated me an the bear. the bear walked away, and she took me by my hand and led me to this grassy area above the pool. I have some things to teach you. It would take pages to journal everything she showed me, and it was all very intimate and sexual. She gave me detailed instructions on pleasure giving for a woman, then we made love. The longest and most intensely loving experience I have ever had. I cannot describe it. It was like making love to a goddess ( indeed it may have been just that). 

At the point of climax I could not hold myself there I faded back to the physical. Again I stopped it mid way. I sat up in spirit again. I was disappointed at not being able to stay. I had never experienced anything like that before, and I did not want it to end. 

I got up gathered my thoughts and went for a walk in spirit through my neighbor hood. No flying, no changing into anything. I just wanted to walk and think. That's what I did. Only the occasional passing car would interrupt my silence walking the streets. I was about to head home, when I saw her again. She was sitting on a neighbors lawn. 

She smiled at me, and said " I'm not done with you yet " I walked over and sat next to her. She started to kiss me again. This time when she had pulled me on top of her, she said "are you ready?" I didn't say anything she already knows all of my thoughts. Then we melded. I can't explain it any other way. My body melded into hers and we were a single body of vibrating energetic light. Orgasim..... Extacy would be a horrible understatement. This was not really sexual it was spiritual. Complete union on the  deepest level. The closest way I can describe it is an explosion of pure unimaginable pleasure deep within my chest. But then it happens again and again increasing in frequency until it's at a nearly intolerable vibrating frequency. 

I then reintegrated with the physical. The feeling was still with me a bit and I was gasping. I was also a little frightened. This is the most powerful thing that has ever happened to me.

After I steadied myself, ( in physical now) I walked over to my bathroom and put some water on my face. Looking at myself in the mirror I was in serious doubt of my sanity. I stood there for a moment in awe and admittedly some fear that I'm loosing it. But I concluded that if I am to go insane this is the way to do it. 

It took me a while to get back to sleep, so I turned on the television. There was a program about sexual healing. I never get used to the serendipity that plagues me, but it does not surprise me anymore. 


I'm not sure what to think. I need so

some more time to absorb and think.

White Crane Feather

The desert of serendipity Wow!

Vision log


June 19 2011

Well. Traveling has been dry for several weeks. A few interesting dreams. This is what happens some times before I Step off the deep end.

I am traveling to the wilderness next week as I always do this time of year. I will be vision questing, so I was thinking the of contact with spirit guides was because I will be in an altered state for nearly three days. At the moment because of anticipation I have no real desire for at home altered states.

The incredible synchronistic events have flared surrounding the dessert and the Paiute Indians. Long story short some strange synchronistic events kept popping up on television and other places always about the Paiute indians, it seemed to end when I was about to use an Indian trap to kill a gopher that keeps chewing on my tomatoes (errrrgggg). ( yup a Paiute dead fall). But like so many times this thing is just beginning.

Another set of odd events that started that very day ended with me agreeing to accompany a good friend on a drive to las Vegas basically as a designated driver. He was going to a wedding but needed someone to drive with him the next day ( for safety switch off driving responsibilities) it's about a 12 hour drive and he would be up very late partying and had to back the next day.  

These very wild things happen to me at least once a year, but I never get over them. I cannot explain the awe incredible spiritual euphoria that comes over me when they happen.

We stopped to let me out to releave myself. We are in the deep desert in nevada on hwy 95.  I'm a flint knapper, so I am interested in the lithic material in the area. Particularly the basalt. I have plenty of obsidian at home that I collected by clear lake ca. Another wild set of synchronistic events led me like bread crumbs to a large very rare obsidian spear point  that I now have and treasure as a wonderful gift from the spirits. 

I reached down and picked up a small piece of basalt that I might shape into an arrow head. About 6 feet away there is another. I pick it up. Then another..... Another..and another.

( a little background. The friend I was with is my best friend. He knows about the things I do, but he is a bit of a red neck. We don't talk much about spirituality, but he does no the story of how I was led to the obsidian spear point)

I am now in a trancelike obsession with picking up these pieces of basalt. Also mysteriously the wind suddenly starts gusting. I can hear him faintly through the wind calling me and inquiring about what I was doing ( as only a best friend can do ;) he was also making a wise crack about ........ Indian spirits ( yeah no ****). The wind soon over took his voice. 

About 50 yards out The last Piece of basalt I removed from the sand was another spear point. Awe struck. I started to cry and i dropped to my knees. I then felt those incredible pleasurable vibrations. No meditations. I thought I was going to have an obe right there on the spot in the middle of the desert. I didn't. 

I have a bad knee injury. I'm just beginning to walk around with a sever limp. My friend thought I had reinjured something. He ran out to my side. Practically in mid sentence he saw what was happening. He is very aware of how this nearly Identical scenario played out the first time. He did not say anything. Silently we went back to the car. As we got in he looks at me and says " I can't believe that just ****ing happened".  I said "welcome to my world". ( he could not stop saying that the entire drive )

It wasn't over.

On the way back today we were in a bit of a rush to return for fathers day. It was his turn to drive, I ended up having a little fun to :), I was asleep. He Wakes me up. Has been pulled over. He gets a speeding ticket. As the officer is returning to his car, I notice we are right across the street from where i found the point. I point it out to him. He again was in such shock that it dwarfed the speeding ticket. ( the odds are astronomical  ) its a huge desert.

It's not over. Hours latter we are in this little town. I was mostly lost in contemplation about this trips events. We pull over to buy fireworks at this little building in this strange broken down town ( typical of Nevada). Nevada sells really cool fireworks ( illegal in California where in live..... Sorry im not a saint :) )

I buy about $50 worth. As we are leaving I realize where we are at. A sign on the road says that we are on the Paiute reservation.  

I don't know where this is leading, but my vision quest next week ( buy the way vision quest syncronicities are popping up everywhere now) will be in the desert. Somewhere near there. I'm trying not to be, but I am very nervous. Not scared. But the power and awe of these events are just to much for men sometimes. I often wonder if I am somehow mentally I'll. Do I have some sort of complex that makes these things come together? Why me? Do I have a self importance issue?  ( no ****, as I am typing all of this there is a movie on with helicopters flying over that same desert----"Transformers"--...... It never ends)

White Crane Feather

Nothing Special

Vision log

May 28

Induced vibrations at about 3 am. I failed the first time and succeeded the second. I simply stepped out. But this time I did it different and it seemed to thwart my previous failure. I started with one arm and lifted it up and step out like I was being led by that arm. It seemed to produce a smoother exit.  I knew I was out, I'm getting better at not having to use a reality check.  I did once again stop to marvel at how clear everything is. Then I walked to the window and flew out into the  night. Right way I felt an odd pressure on my back. I started sliding through the air uncontrolled again. Dam!!!!! Trying to think quick, I give a quick verbal affirmation yo stop it..... No luck. Then I remember the last time this happened it was because an odd position on the sofa . I'm on the sofa, a quick analysis of the sensation reveals that I'm right.

I'm resting at a very propped up recline with a large pillow it is putting to much pressure on my back.

Remember my last journey, I try to take control by wiping the sensation away with my hands. Funny now, it probably  look I was fanning a fart. 

It did go away on about the third try. I made a turn toward the moon Trying to salvage the journey. Nop..... . I'm back

I wasn't even going to journal this but a previous lesson was reinforced.

White Crane Feather

Sifting through the universe and hot women in furs.

Gese that's a great title.

Vision log

May 21

Laid down after messing with face book on my I phone. I swore I would never do it, but it's a must for the new business I'm launching. Shame on me I actually like it. I'm connecting with many people I have lost contact with it's really cool. And well women love it it when you proclaim to the world and friends how much you love them, it's provide great opportunities to score points with the wifey. 

This is relevant because I got the strange ziggy line thing again behind my eyes when meditating. Sevastial says it's a form of migraine, the kid is a genius so I'm inclined to believe him, but it sure in the hell looks strange. 

Soon vibrations came. I was in no particular mood for any great exploration. I gave been fairly mellow and relaxed lately. My injury has slowed me away from my usual ADD 2000 irons in the oven pace. And i like it.

As vibrations came I turned my attention to how they feel, again they were like 100,000 mini orgasms all over my skin. I just held it there for a few minutes marveling at the sheer pleasure of it. It is just such a mystery why it feels so good. Complete head to toe extacy. All with the power of the mind. 

After a few minutes I step out of my body. No need for a reality check I knew I was out. Not really motivated by anything I floated up through my roof and calmly sat on my roof looking up at the stars. You can always see 10 times more in spirit. Probably because you are not affected by the lights of suburbia or the cities.

On a whim (I was messing with my I phone earlier) I reached up with my hand and made an iPhone zoom in motion with my hand on a star. Yup it zoomed in. I did again. I went all the way up to it and watched it boil and churn. I was looking at it like we can see our own sun. Wow!!!!   Thinking about the possibilities of this new skill, I made a swiping motion with my hand to move the star by and peer into the deep universe. Sure enough the whole seen swished by. I was looking at a field of galaxies. I pick one and zoomed in. It came in crystal clear. Then I reached out with my hand and turned it so I could view it from all sides. I examined for a while in utter amazement. I could tell my sheer shock and enjoyment was breaking my trance. The vibrations gently flared up then I was back in my bed. I was softly chuckling and shaking my head at the sheer power of the human mind. 

Then I fell asleep and drifted into a dream about a big Mongol warrior guy a bunch of hot women  dressed in furs and a little Japanese man that challenged me and my best friend to battle. It basically turned into an awesome but cheesy martial arts film battle in the streets of some little town. 

What a night!!!!!! this is getting to easy... And addicting 

White Crane Feather

My 2 favorites

So I am compiling a scrap book of sorts of some successes that some people have had particularly with sleep paralysis terrors after they start to understand the astral nature of it. These 2 are my favorites. Of course I don't mention any names, and yes forgive me I take great pride in my part of it..... Sorry I can't help it. I just do eventhough the credit belongs to them and the allspirit.

"i hear you could maybe help with the nightmares, every know and then maybe twice a month i wake in the night sweating like mad and can only move my head, theres something in the room but i dont see it but know its coming closer the fear i feelis really bad as though my hearts about to explode, just when i feel as though whatever is there is going to have me it ends and the next i know im waking up in the morning. please dont repeat this on the board its the first time i've ever really told anyone. cheers"

37 messages and months latter

hey seeker how are you?

just thought I'd let you know how things are. well I'm not of the sleeping pills/ pain killers completely yet but I've been put on new ones that don't knock me out like the others did. anyway here's the part i couldn't wait to tell you.. are you ready 

two nights after i start the new meds i went to bed early and laid there a good two hours trying to force a projection, nothing happened so i was a little gutted and decided to leave it for that day and try again the next day. anyway i wake in the night sweating like crap and unable to move (except my head), anyway I've had enough of the nightmares now to recognize the signs that start them. so i start getting the feeling something bad is the room with me (like i told you about before) and just for a moment i forget everything we've talked about and the things i've been researching (still fascinating me ) and start as usual to get afraid and freaked.

"THEN OUT OF NOWHERE, i realize what I'm doing and so think to myself, "nothing here can hurt me, now is the time to project" as soon as i did the intense vibration that I've been unable to get past before starts up. It lasted only a second or two before i felt like a 'pop' kind of feeling. Then I was there... out of my body, and in that moment all those little doubts about how astral projections, OBES, NDES and the such may just be part of a dream or our imaginations were gone. I can't for the life of me describe how I felt for those few moments it was so surreal, euphoric even a little enlightning, it was like I'd been shown just a tiny glimpse of .... something divine??? god?? I don't know how else to describe it. am I making sense here? if not just tell me I'm talking **** 

It didn't last long at all  not as much as I'd have liked anyway. The funny thing is I don't know what went wrong, I was trying to take into account how it was all real and the beauty of it and next I was just suddenly, in a flash, pulled back into my body. I then opened my eyes and for some reason... burst out laughing, I laughed for a long time and even my mam came in to ask what was wrong. all I could say to her was "it's all real, I just left my body" i think she thinks I was just high of the sleeping pills 

I should mention that while 'out of body' I didn't see anyone or anything else, although I definitely felt the divine(?) presence I described earlier. In fact now I think about it, it's as though the feeling was the exact opposite of what i usually feel (fear/ evil) during the 'nightmares'. Anyway all I saw was my room, only different somehow. The window and wall next to the bed were still there only semi transparent and the stars seemed to glow more brightly and seemed more close, as though I could have reached out and touched one. That's about all I took in, like I say it was over before it had really begun.. but it definitely happened, and for that I have you to thank.


p.s. Sorry for going on I just 'had' to share it all with you  

p.p.s I recommended someone on the board p.m you over the same kind of problem, hope you don't mind... thanks again"

He has since cured himself of sleep pralysis and is haveing a blast exploring AP

The other

"On one last note, I decided last night that instead of going to sleep paranoid trying to stop things from happening, I would just go with it and see what happened. I was tired and ready for bed and decided to lie down on my back. I used to always sleep this way but changed my pattern in an effort to stop the SP. So I said a little prayer, laid down and closed my eyes and began taking slow and steady breaths. I was tired, so after a couple minutes I felt a definite shift in consciousness, kinda like I was in between sleep and being awake. I used a relaxation technique my grandmother actually taught me as a child, where I concentrate on one specific part of my body and completely relax the muscles,then move on to the next part (left foot, right foot, left calf, right calf, left thigh, right thigh, left hand, right hand, left arm ......well you get the picture). Before I could even finish, as expected, I began to feel the tingling and could hear that soft roaring that increases to strong buzzing. Once the buzzing had set in, I began trying to get up or separate, but I couldn't. I was in full blown SP again, only this time the buzzing didn't seem so uncomfortable. Well, it was still uncomfortable, but not like it usually is .... and I felt no fear, but I was anxious. This happened 2 or 3 times over a period of a couple hours, but I could not separate. I kind of had the feeling that i was uncomfortable, due to the fact that i was laying on my back, because I have intentionally not slept in this position in probably at least 5 years. So I decided to turnn over, into my normal sleeping posiition and try one more time. As usual, as soon as I began to feel as though i was about to drift off to sleep, here comes the buzzing. I still couldn't get up, BUT, I was able to kinda roll or crawl into the floor if that makes sense. I got up, but I felt completely physical and awake, so i wasn't sure if it had worked or not. As I began walking, I felt as though I was a bit off-kilter, like I couldn't really navigate. That's the best way i know to explain it. I walked over to the bedroom door but when I reached to open it, I could not grab the knob. I "played" with the door for a minute and became very excited when I realized I had consciously done this, not on accident as the times before. I think I got too excited though because then I am suddenly back in bed opening my eyes LOL. but as I was moving around my room, there was no one or no presence there, as there always has been. I did notice that my cat was laying in an awkward position in the floor just at the foot of my bed, so when I actually awoke, I jumped up to see if my cat was actually there, and she was ..... so that verifies to me that it wasn't just a dream. (Not that it felt like a dream, I was completely aware) ......but for years when these things happen, I would simply pass it off as dreaming because that was easiest for me). 

Everything last night was different, I suppose because I, in a way, willed it to happen instead of fighting it and went into with as open of a mind as I possibly could. Why was I having trouble moving around though? That has never happened before, perhaps every other time i actually thought I was awake so i went about my natural movements, but this time I actually recognized what was happening?That seemed to be the only difference. 

Is it common for someone to just say, "ok, I am gonna do this" ..... and then just do it? I see where many people are writing that they are trying and it's just not happening for them. Maybe it has to do with the fact that this has been happening to me for soooo long now. It kinda seems to me like THIS has chosen me, instead of me choosing IT ..... if that makes sense. I now almost feel guilt though, that apparently so many people are trying and so for so long I have been fighting it. But I will say that afterwards, I slept very well and woke up feeling more refreshed than I can remember in MONTHS. My grandmother used to always tell me not to get all caught up in the daily bs and flow of things. And that if you can help even just 1 person during your day, that your day was worth living regardless of anything else. Even though we have only exchanged messages a few number of times, you have personally helped me more than you will ever know. Why is this happening to me and where does this go from here? I have no clue ........ But your insight has given me a different outlook on this, and I really don't think you have any way of knowing just HOW MUCH your words have helped me, but I thank you ......"

Nearly a year latter

"Hi there .... long time no chat. I hope you are doing well !! I haven't been around much lately, due to personal issues, other than online stuff that I must do for work. I replied thru this message because I was hoping you would remember me. The info you shared with me has helped sooooo much, and I want to thank you again for that. I feel as though I am definitely more in control of my SP now, and though it still happens regularly (several times a week), it is not as frightening and I am no longer paranoid about it. I have found that once in SP, I can very easily "roll out of my body", as if I am rolling out of bed. I still don't know exactly what to do or where to go, so I generally end up walking around my apartment or get so excited that I lose it and just wake back up in bed, but i am still working on that lol. I have also found that I can "control" it, to an extent ..... I can will it to happen if it is a night I want to experiment, or can shut it off as it begins, but only if in the beginning stages. I know it's been awhile, but I am hoping you dont mind if I ask you just a couple more questions......"

White Crane Feather

My wife and our oak tree

Vision log

May 14

Initiated vibrations at least half a dozen times. But they all would fail. Probably the pain meds I'm on.

Finally I got out. I floated off the sofa this time. No need to check reality. I stood there for a moment marveling at how awake this all feels, then I decided to fly out. I went through a window. It was a little slow going through the glass. I hate it when that happens. The mind has a tough time giving up normal reality. I was in the air about ready to launch into the sky when I saw my wife walking on the lawn. Whoaoh!! I flew down to say high. She was smiling and very happy. She said it's true you can do this stuff. I said I told you so. Problem is that you won't remember this. I can try she said. I told her we don't have much time, what did she want to do. I want to talk to trees like I see you doing all the time. ( I had not realized she knew what I was doing..... Maby she dosnt conciously) I said ok and I took her hand and we landed in one of our oak trees. Right as we did this brilliant accenting light started comeing from the tree. We were sitting in it's branches. She comented on how beautiful the tree is like this. I reminded her that we are in spirit everything will be different. Ask it something..... I actually did have a question for the tree. There is several wood peckers that only pick holes in this tree. None of the others. I brought up an image of myself with my bb gun takeing out the wood pecker. Instantly the branches started swaying in circles as if to say no. My wife said see It dosnt want you to kill them. ( the fact that she new my image because I did not say anything just struck me) then a flood of information filled my head. It felt a bit like something like water flowing into me. That's when I understood that the tree had a deal with the wood peckers. It offered itself so that the other trees could be spared. It was proud of it's sacrifice and equally proud that it had suported this geneology of wood peckers for years.

It's true this is the only tree with woodpecker holes that apear to go back a very long time. The holes are everywhere. There is not a single hole in any of the other oaks that are exactly the same species and very close.

When I looked over my wife was gone. I flew into our bedroom and stood beside her sleeping body, then told her to try and remember, then I went back to my body. It's six am. She will be up in another couple of hours I'll ask her about her dreams.     

White Crane Feather

My knee

Vision log

May 9th

So i blew my knee completely out on Saturday. Most likely destroyed my mcl. Probably going to have surgery. Great timeing if course. My wide is due to give birth any day.

Last night I journyed to see if could do to myself what I have done to  few others. I initiated vibrations, I was fairly focused so they came easy. I steped out if my body, I don't know why but I was expecting to be limping, but of course my knee was fine in the spirit world.....of course you dont have knees in spirit just projections. It took me a few of my tests to make sure I was out. It's always so real.  

I turned around to look at myself then stuck my hand inside of my leg to spread my awareness into it. ( a trick I learned from the plaidies spurit At first at did not know what I was feeling, but started to pay atention to the details and I started to feel as whole the variouse structures of my knee. I could tell there were tendons and such but I had know idea what was what. I guess some anatomy physiology study would be good.

Not really getting any where I got this thought that the earth could help, so I reach to the floor ( carpet) and created a thought form of mud. I started packing it around my knee as tight as I could get it.

Not knowing what else to do, I ended the session. 

Tomorrow I'm going to see if I can ask for healing, from guides higher self what ever. I'm in a lot of pain, but this is an interesting turn of events to see if any if this is directly usefull. On a side note I was on vicadin, and it did not seem go affect me in travel. If anything it was very easy to initiate vibrations. Most likely it was my resolve, but the relaxing properties of vicadin may have contributed..... Can't be sure.      

White Crane Feather

Intense Dream

Vision log

April 26th

I had a very intense dream last night. First off I have never taken a huluicinagen. But for some reason I was interested in ths patch of mushrooms. Not surprising I have hunted for wild edible mushrooms before, ( don't worry I know what I'm doing) with this particular batch for some unknown I just ate a small one. ( I would never do this). Instantly I started vibrating. It was very pleasurable. It fadded. And I collected more of them. I was in this large under ground cavern with light. There were people there going about different things. One young man in particular seem interested in me. I don't remember what we were talking about. I'm getting ready to leave when I relize that I had mistaken the mushrooms I was carrying as some sort if snack food I was just randomly eating. I tried to force myself to throw up relizing I had just overdosed on what probably is a hullucinagenic mushroom. 

I turn to him to ask for his help, he said don't worry I'll see you through it. Not sure what was about to happened I resolved myself to stay calm. If under the influence of these things is anything like altered states that I can already acomplish anxiety was going to do me no good. Takeing a deep breath.... My mind slipped into total chaos. I cant remember everything that I saw I just remember that the things that went through my head were so far out that they were uninteligable.. I fought constantly to keep control of my anxiety. Ocassionally I would call out to the young man to check if he was still there. I could here him faintly against the back drop of total insanity reassuring my that he would pull me through. The last thing I remember was something devouring me, but I was completely surrendered to it so it did not hurt and I was not scared. I came to in his arms . It seemed like I was in that state forever. He helped me up, we walked around a little bit ( for the life of me I cant remember what we talked about) then he walked me to my vehicle I remember thinking what in the hell am I going to tell my wife.... and then I woke up.

I don't know what that was all about, I have never taken anything other than alcohol and I have no intention to, but dam if that is what tripping on drugs is like......count me out still. Besides it apears that I don't need to. That was the most intense dream I have had in a very very long while if not ever. It wasn't as much scary as just unsettling.        

I'm still rattled about it.     

White Crane Feather

Clouds and progress

Vision log

April 20th

Initiated vibrations this morning. Kids were up even on the sofa with me. Vibrations came once I  sat up, was out but didn't think so, because the kids were looking at me. I laid back down then relized I was out. 

I initiated vibrations about half an hour latter. I exited by just getting up again. I walk straight across my living room, then turned around and walked back and studied myself lying there in trance. My wife was up and about. I could sense her moveing around getting ready for work. Odd now because she was only in my vision briefly, but I could sense all of her movements, I could also sense another spirit with her following her around. All of it seemed perfectly natural at the time. I have never really been conciouse of this sensing. It is a new experience, but it did not seem new at the time. This other spirit also seemed perfectly natural and did not even perk my curiosity. I'd did not occur to me until just these moments while journaling why..... My wife is 8 months pregnant. The other spirit must have been my unborn son Logan. 

Not wanting to mess around with control issues ( I'm sick of little problems) I thought of Neo on the movie "The Matrix" . I nelt down on my knee gathered my thoughts and shot straight up through my roof into the sky. There is a small weather system right now, so I shot straight up through the clouds into the warm spring sky. I spent the better part of the morning diving and soring around mountains of clouds. The sun felt wonderfully warm. It made my skin tingle. It was very extacy like warmth. After a while I went back to may body. As I came back I felt the vibrations fade. I felt very good and rested. Something is different. This confidence I have sudenly acheived is a bit of an apifany. Just out of curiosity I laid back initiated vibrations and exited again. Stood in my living room looking at myself fir a moment then I watched cars that my kids were watching, then returned. Vibrations were nearly instant. Then I did it again just to see if I could do it as fast. It worked.        


Wow! I'm not sure where all of this control is comeing from. It was sort of a decision to act like neo, then all of a sudden I have perfect control. Confidence is the key. It's 10 am now, and I can still close my eyes and make the vibrations come. They also feel a little diferent. They are warmer and more pleasurable now. I feel rested, excited, energetic, and ready. Flying around the clouds was increadibly satisfying. I wonder were this came from. The class I have been teaching for a earth spirituality group may have something to do with it. I just taught Monday and verbalizing everything in person, then getting a tremendously positive reaction from people. Questions, excitment from them, then a profound thank you at the end with Hugs and watching their egerness.

One girl was in tears at a vision she had had during a drumming meditation I took everyone through. She described an Indian shaman that came to her and told her everything would be alright. ( I actually molded my drumming session after a psyco therepy called Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). But it was pretty profound. She even described him exactly like a spirit that has come to me and helped me on several ocasions.

Another older man, who I thought was a bit put off by my comfort with flying around with spirits and such, aproached me afterword. He had been meditating for years, and was excited that he might be able to leave his body. His journies had always been in his head and more imaginative. He was under a very popular misconception that I see all the time with shamanic journies. Shamanic journies are OBEs, not just a meditation. 

Anyeway, I think I'm moveing into a new phase in all of this. It's exciting. I'm certain teaching others is extending my own skill.    

White Crane Feather

Short interesting journy

Vision log

April 14

Dry spell was broken last night. Funny, I almost always require presleep to take journys, but this time it was at night before any presleep.

Laying back I centered my my focus out in the 3 dimentional space behind my eyes. I don't watch nural discharges as much, i just hold my atention to one spot. Usually at a slightly upward angle. 

I felt my awareness shift almost instantly vibrations flared up. There not very strong anymore. I think I'm getting used to them even the noises are fainter. It's actually disapointing. I miss the powerful noises and vibration that used to be so aweinspiring. Any why I exited just by getting up. I was sure I was not out, but I'm well aware of my mistakes in the past, so i did a reality check. I floated up to the ceiling and tried to go through to the second floor. Yup I was out, but I couldn't go through the floor. I always have a problem with this. 

I walked down the hall marveling at how clear and crisp everything is. After comeing out of trance the crisp reality of traveling starts to go fuzzy, but while I am there I like to take a look around at how it's just like physical reality. It always amazes me knowing I'm a spirit at the moment.

I walk over to a window, and fly up and over my house.  I land on my roof. That's when I remember. There is a leak in the master bedroom I wonder if I can locate it. I stick my hands into the roof and start to spread my awareness through the material like I have done to people. I'm still nieling on the roof but I can literally feel as if I'm Touching the inside of the roof. It did not take long to find a pathway for water around this sky light. I followed the pathway to where the leak was. But it did not stop there, it continued down into our bathroom wall. The wall materal then turned flaky and spongy........ It's rotten!!!!! I think this leak has rotted my wall for a long time. Crap that's going to cost a lot to fix.

I pull my hand out, then land in the back porch. I was preparing to investigate the house from a different angle, when quite suddenly a woman landed next to me. She was very tall, round pretty face, medim length brown hair, dressed in normal cloths. Age was fit and talk with slightly larger and mire muscular thighs than most woman. I felt very strongly that this was an athletic woman who was a basket ball player. She smiled and looked very surprised and excited to see me. As I was her. She asked me if I would fly with her, I said sure this was a first to fly with another traveler. She reached over to take my hand. I took hers. She then looked at my hand and said "oh, your fadeing". 

I said " hold on, I may be able to stop it"

I dove my awareness back in to feel the vibrations and tried to hold my return to my body off. My eyes started fluttering line they akways fk when I try to stop a return. I looked up she had steped back waiting to see if I could do it. She gave me a understanding smile like she understood then I was back. 


Wow. That was interesting first time really interacting with someone else that was probably just like me. I have met a few teavelers before but not to this depth. I wonder if she lives around me? I will keep my eyes out. I discovered that the leak was caused by the skylight, and that my wall is rotten. God I hope not.            

White Crane Feather

Blocked by a guide

Vision log

March 11 2011

Wow!!!!! What a trip. So oddly enough I was reading my oxford press bible Revelations ( I have been haveing arguments with christan litaralists, and I was looking for something) when my mother came in to tell me about the earth quake in japan, I started watching coverage.

I was up a while and I decided to try to fly there and see if can help somehow. My intent was to maby comfort someone traped or anything really. I thought what a wonderful thing if spirit travelers could team up to proivide spiritual help or maby locate somebody snd help someone find them.

I went to sleep with the intent of waking up in a few hours. It went well. I woke up watched some more coverage until I felt the right feelings. Initiated vibrations, they came very fast. I exited just by getting up again.

I walked across my living room once again feeling like I was not out. Did a test float and floated, so it was confirmed. I was in spirit. 

I turned west and shot straight through my walls and out into the air. I flew very fast over Sacramento toword the coast. I had never Been to japan before so I decided to use cities I have flown into as land marks. Sanfrancisco was first. I saw it's lights underneith me so I flew at sky scraper level. I flew right by the trans America  building. Once I hit the ocean I sped up toword hawahii. I went very very fast clouds were shooting pass me in it created a tunnel like experience.

I saw the lights of Honolulu using it as a land mark I turned toward japan. 

All of a sudden something hooked my arm. It felt like an arm. I spun out of control to the ground. I ended up on the side walk on the wikiki strip. And one of my guides was sitting on top of me. It was "her". She visits as a young woman or a deer with one forked horn and one spiked. She was in human form.

When she sees that I recognize her she gets off of me and takes me by the arm. And we start to walk down the strip. It was actually quite pretty there  As we are walking, I consider asking her what's going on, but she never comunicates verbally, so I come to the premature conclusion I'm going about this the wrong way. I have never been to japan before how would I recognize where I am even at. She is here to stop me from getting lost.

I try a verbal afirmation I look up "Take me to Japan"...... there is a slight swirl of motion... Then nothing we are still walking with her arms in mine. She  has taken my hand and her other arm has reached around and is firmly hooked into mine. ( similar to way a woman might walk with her man if she were cold) 

That's when she then points to this resturante......... All of a sudden!! I'm on a honey moon with her. We are newly weds and looking for a bite to eat!!! I can't explaine it any other way. I completely lost all reason why I was there, I am maried to this young woman and we are out to get something to eat. We are walking and sense of calm snd happiness has come over me. One thing wrong though. There are no other people on the wikiki strip. I have been there before it is usually very buisy. It's just me and her. This oddity brings everything back to me. It's a ruse. She created this odd scenerio.

Now fully aware again I stop to look at her. She stops also recognizing that her trick did not work. She is also all of a sudden is much talker than me. Still beutiful but older in presence.... Not looks, but more mother like now. 

I'm not shocked at all, I have seen her do this before, and she always installs a sense of calm when she is near.

She is giving me a mother knows best look with a tad of amusment in her smile. She puts her hand around my neck het thum afectionatly rubs my ear a bit, then she leans down and kisses me on my lips. 

The next thing I know, I am back..... But here is the strange part. I feel like I woke up. I never feel like I wake up after a journy. Its usually just a sensation of simply being back. I also don't remember a thing. I think I just fell asleep durning my atempt, so I try again. I start the meditations again, about three minutes into it everything comes flooding back.


I guess I should not have been doing things like that. I really just wanted to help, but maby that's not what spirit travel is for. I was definantly blocked by my guide.                       

White Crane Feather

Journy this morning

Vision log

March 9 2011

Fell asleep on the coach again. It's easier to travel if I stay downstairs, so Im not disturbed by my wife.

No real purpose for the journy I have been wanting to explore and experiment with a few things.

I was haveing a dream about an issue going on my iife, oddly it's a similar issue that my nephew has, and one of my students/instructors. It has come to boiling point for both of them, and for my student it is now gone to far, I have been ranting about it to my poor pregnant wife about it, but a very large confrontation between me and him with his parents there is in the works. Depending on his reactions, I may end the relationship. (--- long story short, I found out my 17 year old instructor is having highly sexual text message conversations with a 14 year old student!!!!!!!!!!) I have become very emotional about this because I train those kids about the negative impacts of crap like this. He has completely betrayed me and his position .------ anyway. I'm highly charged right now so my dreams are reflecting this.

I initiated vibrations after waking.

They came instantly----- they seem to do that when I'm very emotional about something. I exited just by getting up again. I was standing in the middle of my living room and I could have sworn I did it physically and was not really out. I did a reality check by looking at my hands...,, nop I could not see them, so I was out. ( by they way this is a wonderful way to know you are in spirit and not dreaming... In dreams 100% you will slways see your hands.... In spirit they will not be there or melt away after looking at them)

The first thing I did was try to create some sort of healing energy with this situation mentioned above. The only thing I could think of is the orb given to by the plaidies spirit. I figured I would make something like that. I focused all of my mental energy into a small space right infront of me. The focus was some sort of healing energy to suround this situation.

Sure enough a small fuzzy ball of redish light started to apear right in front of me. As soon as I thought it was bright enough I told it to come back when I confront this kid. I sent it out, and It zoomed away. 

After that I walked upstairs. I was going to see if I could wake my wife up in spirit. I did. Although I was not talking to her conciouse self, I was talking to her spirit self. She was quite amazed at seeing me in spirit most of the conversation was just about her amazment.... Then all of a sudden I crumpled to the floor in Pain....Shocked, I sent myself back to my body thinking--- what in the he'll---

Hahaha as I returned I relized I was haveing stomach pains-----gas. Pretty intense ones. I was stupid, and had a late dinner of left over pizza. I know that I am lactose intolerant at night for some reason. I can handle dairy products during the day, but before I sleep it kills me. Native American blood I guess.

I endure it for the moment....... But then all of a sudden pulsing waves of chills start coursing through me. They are very powerful. This happens to me when spirits are present, I know right away that it is in the kitchen about 30 ft away. I turn to look in it's direction and then I say out loud but quite ---"what, your a little late....I think It was the pizza" ( this in normal reality now i am not out of body)

Then the chills Started to intnsify--- it was comeing toword me. It came right up to me. I'm not afraid of spirits, but I feel very disadvantaged if I'm in body and one is right on top of me because I can't see them. It's like being blind folded and somone you don't know is in the room with you. 

I say out loud---"ok that's far enough"

The intensified chills are coursing in massive waves from the back of my neck all they down to my feet. It's actually kind of pleasurable. They hang that way for a moment. I'm faceing the spirit with a ---what do you want--- look on my face. Then all of a sudden they are gone.

I lay back. Intriuged. On the television I have been playing my collection of Marti stafourds " Wild America". He is a naturalist that used to have a popular series on animals. I used to watch it with my father and it's a source if comfort when I'm stressed. The animals and Marti calm me. 

Then I hear my wife walking upstairs... Hmmmm she woke up right after that spirit left...... I bet a million bucks it was her spirt checking on me, after I collapsed to the floor. Cool!


---I know better to eat crap like that before bed or traveling. I even advise others against it.

---I can create healing thought forms and send them out.

---- I was aware that peoples spirits are active while they sleep, but this solitifies it for me. This was the first time I was aware of a sleeping persons spirit while I was in body.

White Crane Feather

Out tonight

I have Set every thing up for a journy tonight. Pre sleep 3 hours.

My goal is to find that spirit from the other night. My guides have been silent for a while, I think that means that I'm doing a good job takeing over my own training. But something has happened that I want to discuss with them, so that is on my agenda aswell.

I did have a very disturbing dream the other night that lead into a syncronocity.. I don't have nightmares, things don't scare me, but ocasionally they disturbe me.

I was giving this young man a pIggy back ride for some reason. He was haveing premonissions of his own death. He kept showing me that he keeps seeing himself dieing like this. He let's out this blood currdling scream and starts swatting at himself.

The thing is...., he keeps showing me this. It's starts to p*** me off. To the point where I am very angry at him. I keep trying to console him that he is going to be fine, I'm even carrying him. But he keeps doing it.

Evenchually we come upon this large fire. More like a wall of fire. He does it one last time. Then I toss him in the fire in anger.

Off course he let's out the same screaming and dies swatting at himself. His premonition was acurate. But it was the premonition that lead to his death.

So. Not likeing the dream, but just writing it off as one if those things, I was checking out the forums here and somebody posted a utube preview of a movie called 11,11,11. There was a scream on the preiview that was identical. I had never seen this preiview or even knew this movie was comeing out.

I hate that these things happen to me this way sometimes. I go to great lengths to keep negative energy away from me.

White Crane Feather

My method

So I decided to condense the way I do things into one communication. That way I don't have to keep repeating my self. It will be on my blog and any new commers that come along can go there or I'll pm it upon request.

Seeke79's method. ( I take no credit for any of this, it's just what I have learned through my experiences and the experiences of others)

Shamanic Journy / Astrial Projection

Spirit travel has been used for all of human history by shaman, monks, mystics, martial artists, saints, prophets, and spiritual seekers since the beginning of mankind. Most prophacies, encounters with spirits, angles, and higher beings occure in this altered state of conciousness and reality.

Below is a basic guide to acheive spirit travel. These mehods are designed to by pass hours of meditation and spiritual ritual so that you can follow a dayly practice and fit it into your schedule. 


Personal Conditioning

There are some basic things you can add to your lifestyle that will make your more sucessful in your spirit

Travel endevours.

•Extention to others

•Body awareness

•Meditation & Prayer

• Thanks giving

• Control and Elimination of fear

• Physical fittness

• Extention to plants, animals, and the earth

Things you will need

• Journal

• Comfortable quiet place to recline and meditate. 

•Some form of music player if you are going to use auditory aids.

Conditioning the mind

A relaxed, non-anxiouse, calm state of mind is important for spirit travel. Dayly problems and short term memory need to be erased and stored in long term memory so that your mental capacity for new information is clear. This is most naturally done while you sleep. A huge part of your success with spirit travel will depend on if you can get presleep. This is the part of the process that is most often skipped because people mistakenly beleive that projection is a form of sleeping. It's not. It's an altered state that is most easily obtained if your mind is rested. If you just try when you go to bed without presleep you will probably just fall asleep.

Presleep methods


• Late Nap Method

Take a Late nap from about 5pm to about 8. Then make your projection attempt at about 11 or 12.

• 3am method

Go to bed nomally. Wake up at 3am or 4am ( set your alarm). Read something or do something relaxing. Don't read a good book. Something like a magazine. Do this for about half an hour or until you feel grogy. 

Auditory aids

-Some people like to use these. I have had success using them, but honestly headphones are a distracting for me. I do still however listen to them during presleep. Experimentation is best to discover what works for you.

• Shamanic Drumming-- I use these ocasionslly

•Binural beats-- (basically a high tech form of drumming) these work for some people, and sceintific research has shown that they syncronize the hemispheres of the brain. ( I find them a bit souless snd unnatural, but others don't)

•Tibetan meditation music-- I absolutely love to listen during presleep.

•Native American spirit flute--- another that I love to listen to during presleep or meditation in general.

Vibration Induction/meditation

There are many different meditations for this. This is what works best for me.

•Before you start designate a specific place across your room that you will walk to latter. You also should not have a full stomach or a full bladder, nor should you be hungry or thirsty.

• Lay back on your back. There should be a slight recline. You should be warm and comfortable . Put your hands at your side and relax fully.

•Take a few deep breaths and ask the spirits to help you in your efforts.

•Close your eyes and notice the blackness behind your eyes. Look off into the blackness as if it were three dimentional space. Look slightly up.

•You should be able to see nural discharges. ( blueish purple swirling lights) everyone has them. Watch these with solitary focus.

•If any errant thoughts or scenerios start running through your head gently wipe them away and stay with an empty mind.

•If any pictures come into your field of vision, focus intently on them.

•Hold on to your hat!! With practice and a little luck at first, what happens next might blow you away. Your body is going to start vibrating. It feels like a mild electric shock running through your body. It's not painful, but at first it can startle you. You will also begin to hear a massivly Loud noise. It will sound like a jet engine or a water fall. It could have a buzzing quality to it or a wooshing helicopter like sound. These are your exit signs.

•When you have these sensations, it's time to exit..... But not before. Vibrations MUST be there.

•Exit. The two most easy exits are to simply get up as fast as you can or to roll hard to roll off your bed. Upon feeling the vibrations, simply get up or roll out. As if you were doing it physically. Don't worry your physical body should be paralyzed by natural processes. But your spirit body is not. As soon as you get up or roll out. Imeadiatly walk to your designated spot and turn around to see yourself.

When you manage to make your first exit it will probably shock you. This will make your first journey not very long. As you continue to practice you will be able to stay longer and longer. In time you will learn to walk through walls, fly, develop spirit tools, travel Interdimentionally, even speek with spirits.

Make sure to journal imeadiatly your experiences.

Remember that every person is a little different. Some people are naturals and it comes very easy. Others may take years of training before their first OBE. Don't be discouraged and allow yourself a regular practice. Also remember that once out learning to operate in spirit is like learning to walk all over again. There are stumbles and dry spells, but every journy you get a little better even if it seems like a set back.

Also remember that the spirit world will mirror what's in your mind. Wipe away any fear, anxiety, or stress before traveling.

Good Luck and keep me posted on your results. I'm happy to answer any of your questions.

White Crane Feather

Post from astrial travel thread

So now that I have figured out how to publish, you guys can read it. Thanks outofbody.

Very interesting if not chaotic journy this morning. I learned 2 things

1) odd positions and being uncomfortable sends odd sensations to your astrial body.

2) skin deep vibrations can feel like trembling. This was happening to someone here, and I said trembling was not vibrations...., it's not, but it sure the hell feels like trembling. This also makes me think that deep chest vibrations might be something that people are misinterpreting as a fluttering heart. I have never had s fluttering heart sensation but many deep chest vibrations..... I can easily see how the two might be confused.

White Crane Feather

Not really a journy..., but hey

Vision log

Fed 24th 2011

Well another botched journy. I fell asleep on my coach and my five year old came down and fell asleep next to me. Something thst has been happening to much lately. Any way about three am a woke up. Then laid back down and initiated vibrations.

Upon exit I could tell something was wrong again. I was about to loose control.....again!!!--- i was disapointed because i thought i had mastered these problems a long time ago---Something was pushing me across the room. Very heavy on my left side. I was fighting it with all my strength. That's when I see it. A tall pail spirit very thin....smooth facial features. Bipedel... Not human at all.. At least it did not look human.... Interdimentional being? Alien? It was standing by my glass door. It startled me at first. I had not seen anything like this in my house before. I actually considered it a reapearance of the guardian again so I shruged it off and made a face at it to show it I was not afraid so go away. ( the guardian is a check mechanism for travelers. If your responsive to fear you should not be out of body. It comes back from time time to check to make sure you still are  psycologically sound to do this )

The spirit kind of shrugged and backed up through the glass door. That's when I knew I made a mistake. 

The dam preassure was trying to push me accross the room still it was kind of like leaning against a stiff wind, so I remembered something from one of Robert munros books about verbal afirmations. I looked up and shouted " give me control!!!!" imeadiatly the preassure stoped. Yes!! But the loss of focus was bringing me back to my body.  When I was back in, I kept my eyes closed. I was trying to initiate again right away.... Something I don't gave much luck with. I want to go see what that spirit is all about. I felt like a butt head shrugging it off like that. It's probably here for a reason. The preassure on my left was because of this odd way I had laid douwn. My son had slipped behind me so I had sat up but turned to lay on my left. It was putting a lot of preassure on my body. Same sensation I had while out when I isolate the pressure in my mind. I'll have to remember to be in comfortable relaxed positions. I have become over confident in my set up. 

Vibrations came but were to faint to exit, so I thought I would play with them a little bit. Push them around in my body. They disapated out the edges of my skin......wow!!! It felt like I was trembling. Someone I was trying coach online said they were trembling and asked me if that were vibrations....., I told them no. I wish I remembered who it was. It probably is skin deep vibrations. 

I brought the vibrations back inside of me as a test.... It worked.

I'm laying in bed now. And chills are coursing their way through my body in massive waves. That spirit is still here. It's waiting for me to get out again I think. It's 4:30 am. I might be able to do it, but I am wide awake so it's doubtful. I am really interested in what it wants to show me. I'll try....,

White Crane Feather

Vision log feb 20 2011

Vision log

Feb 20th 2011

Initiated vibrations this morning. Upon exit I could tell something was off. Not quite sure, but my mind was not as focused as it should be. It had been a rough day before and my mind was still clouded with some earlyer stress. I could tell that it was going to be short. I decided to take the time for experementation. I started to fly up to my bed room to float through the ceiling into the upstairs...... I couldn't. I tried twice and I would get halfway through then bounce back. Then I lost control and started bounce around the room. Dam! I thought I had grown out of this. Instead of fighting the loss of control. I decided to take control of the motion. I ended up flying in a high speed circle around my living room with my vision oriented toward the center of the room. Odd it was very fast, but my vision was clear. At this speed I would expect things to be a bit blury. 

I managed to land and regain control of myself. Then I decided to walk upstaires the normal way. One of my last journies I was able to reach into my sister in law. I had the sensation of touching her even on the Inside aswell as the out but the sensation was spreading to cover more and more of her. I could feel every inch of her external body parts, hardness of bones, stifness of tendons, squishyness of organs. I was afraid to mention this on the forums. It's hard for me to beleive these things sometimes, so if I'm still working through it, I don't like to post it.

Anyway. I get upstairs and try the same thing with my wife. I reach into her, and my awareness starts to spread in her. But again it only gets so far then I end up back in my body. Dam!

An interesting note and story. When I was going through the shamanic crisis , and I first learned of it and the similarities in my experiences, I contacted this shaman that was gaining some popularity on the Internet. He was resonsive at first through email and mentioned he was doing some healing work wih something called embrionoc blood. I'm assuming in the spirit world. He then became unresponsive. And I never herd from him again. So I guess I came to

Associate this idea of deep blood as an aspect of shamanic healing. Because the plaidies spirit gave me a blood red orb, I assumed it was healing related. That's what led me to try it on my sister in law, although this contimplation and my awareness of this sequence is after the fact. The whole red orb scenerio was a trigger to get me to discover this other person body awareness. I'm sure of it now! No red orb needed but it was just enough to get me to discover this. It never ceases to amaze me how far back these things go. The great spirit realy does have a plan. Maby there is no plaiadies spirit at all and it is all God....just using the stars to get my attention. I'm in constant awe and humuility. Interconnectedness is truely a powerful aspect of all of this.

White Crane Feather

From: Astral Travel & My technique

So the other night I was dreaming and was able to become lucid. I was in some hotel at a party and there was a man who was explaining the way time and life/death work. It was really hard to follow, but I did my best to keep up. I never saw this guy, but I could sense his presence.

He explained to me how to turn my lucid dream into astral projection, which was strange to me because I am still unclear of the difference. I have read that LD and AP are the same, but other places say they are not.

Anyway, he sent me to the opposite side of the room and told me to go to him. I could not have walked because there were lots of party goers there, some of which I recognized. So I willed myself to be where he was and when I did this he explained more to me, which I cannot recall. I remember ending up back to my original position. At this point the party disappeared when I decided to see if I could float through the ceiling. I did so and was amazed to say the least. I flew maybe 50 feet before I was attacked by a large bat. I mean huge. The size of a cow. I kept yelling at it telling it that it had no power over me, something I have done in the past to shadows I've seen during sleep paralysis. The struggle ended, I don't know where the bat went, but I ended up on the ground in the parking lot. I could feel everything getting hazy, so I looked at my hands and watched them melt. At this point I felt invincible! I walked about 10 feet and woke up...

I ran to the bathroom so I could write in my dream journal in the light. I felt amazing during and after this experience. My question is, was I able to AP from my dream or was I just dreaming. This happened last week and I have been unable to recreate the same effects, even though some of my dreams have been outlandish.

Any insight is appreciated, as I am not sure what happened. Thanks!

It sounds like several things happened. You were dreaming not ap. Lucid reams are very different from ap. This is prooven scientifically. I Have a source if anyone is interested. Brainwave patterns are different.

Just because you were dreaming dosnt mean you can't talk

to spirits. It sounds like you have a guide trying to help

you grow. I suppose you can ap from lucid dreams but almost all of my dreams are lucid and I can't manage it...... I have tried. Dosnt mean that others can't though. I'm sure you were about to or did.

The bat was a phenominon kown as the guardian. It's job is to keep you in your body unless you are developed enough to defeat it. I sugest next time you are lucid or if you manage to ap go hunting for it. let me know if you need any help.

Dreams are going to be scenerio driven. Things will happen to you. 90% of events in ap are going to be self initiated. When you are lucid dreaming you can ask your self if you are dreaming and the answer will be yes. When you are aping the answer will be no.

When you create obes with the methods on this thread, you will never loose conciousness. This is the easiest way to know you are not dreaming because you never Fell asleep.

Source: Astral Travel & My technique

White Crane Feather

From: Astral Travel & My technique

Oh yeah, I forgot.

Sure keep in mind That I'm at a point now where I can feel the doorway (so to speak) in my mind. If it is opened I can walk through it quit easily. I can't really explain it. It's purely an experiential feeling.

Certain character traits and physical development will help tremendously

1) pilanthropy ...... Constantly giving to others . (Take a 100 bucks buy cj burgers and a case of beer and water. Go into the city and give every homeless person you meet a burger a beer and a water) deep personal pilanthropy. Become a mentor in a big brothers big sisters program. Give every chance you get. I have a business ( martial arts school), and I make my services totally free with no questions asked if someone looses their job or can't aford it. I'm not trying to sound like some saint, but if you are extended to others the spirits will be extended to you and help you grow. It's a componant I think that's largly missed.

2) fear work and self reflection. The more you conquer fears and anxiety the more capable you will be. Alone in the wilderness for days or even weeks at a time forces you to be completely Alone with yourself and your fears. After the third day your thoughts turn inward.

3) body awareness. I have been in martial arts my entire life, but dance is good to. Also I think Robert Bruce's energy work would be helpful. Haveing decent spacial awareness is very helpful

4) meditation practice. Meditation is key. I would be very surprised if anyone had decent success without a consistant mediatation practice.

My process

If I want travel at night I will mediatate for an hour then take a nap at about 3-6 or so often listening to Tibetan meditation music or drumming. Then go to bed at 10. And start my journy. Or I'll wake up at 2 or three read something for an hour then go.

To initiate I relax close my eyes and see the blackness behind my eyes as a three dimentional space. I watch my nural discharges and wipe away any errant thoughts that show up. This is where it gets tricky. You guys will simply have to hold this state until you feel vibrations. After you have been doing for a while at least for me I can tell when the "door " is open and push my conciousness through it. I wish I could explaine it better, but I dont know how.

Right as vibrations start I hear the loud waterfall rushing noise. This is when I exit either by just getting up very quickly, rolling, or floating up. Floating up is not a visualization, it's as if you have muscles to propel you upwards.

That's it. Not a hole lot to the actualy process. Sometimes I can just feel that my mind is in the right spot and I can do it in seconds. Other times I try and try for hours ....., and nothing. Most the time it's successful though

Source: Astral Travel & My technique

White Crane Feather

Another syncronocity

So I figured I would post this. It happened a while ago, but it's interesting if not wild.

Donnie Darko syncronocity

This syncronocity started as a result of makeing dome posts on an unexplained mysterys forum. A young man contacted me after reading some of my posts on astrial

Travel. He asked me if astrial travel could help with a problem he was having with hair loss. He was told there was nothing he could do so he wanted to find some alternative methods. So I told him I'm sure if he learned how to travel spirits could help him. He was excited.... I thought it was done. Later that night an old student of mine came in. I had not seen him in a year. We were just talking and then I noticed that he was starting to experience some severe hair loss. He is a rocker kid and has always warn his really long. He showed me how severe it was. It was bad. For some reason I just assumed the guy on the forum was female...... I don't know why. And I said somthing like don't worry whatever happens you will still be beautiful trying to be encourageing ( funny now cause it was a guy). Then later after meeting with my student.... His name is Shannon, I reposted telling the guy that I'm sorry for whatever reason I assumed he was female. Then it occured to me this could very well be Shannon. It all made sense and syncronicities attack me like this. So I reposted hey you don't have long hair do you, and if you don't mind what is your first name. I thought for sure it was him. The cadence of his writting the syncronicity of the events. 

The guy replied quite indignated . I'm male, I have 5 cm long hair, and my name Is Darko. Bye!

He thought I was trying to be some cuooky psycic. I also thought darko was a very strange name. Never herd of it before. I figured he was just giving me some name. Maby he was. 

Hmmmm. Ok that was odd, never had syncronicities play out like that before. It was just beginning.

The next morning I was walking by mothers room......she lives with us. On her television was the menu screen for a DVD, and across the screen in big etherial white letters are the words DARKO. Donnie Darko 

Oooooop here we go. I end up watch watching he movie of course. It's a fictional psycological thriller. I'm not gonna give it away you can watch it for yourself. 

I was so overwhelmed watching the movie I was moved to tears. Here's why. the movie pretty much is about a young man following odd occurances and syncronicities to lead to a greater godd.... Hey is kind of going crazy. But that is not all. There is a fictional book in the movie (fictional being it's not even a real book......invented by the director I think) called "the philosophy of time travel" in it talks about the targeted person finding some sort of artifact blade. (during my crisis I found a clovis spear point) I have it now. There was also a tremendouse amount of imagry from some important journies I have taken onthe spirit world. I mean exact imagry. One of me brought me to my knees crying. At the end of the move there is a tornato or vortex surrounded by mountains. I have dreamt about tornados in mountains all my life. Even when I was a child. Just as it showed in the movie. At this point i am in just awe.

I get on the Internet of course. I have to research this movie. I know of course that it is just a movie but he syncronicities must be looked into. I find the six page prop book " the philosophy of time travel" and there are quite a few things that blatently jump out, but I don't know what it means. So I type in something like books and syncronicities to search for something. Of course Jung pops up everywhere. I research a little bit about him, and I come to the revelation that I am supposed learn everything about his research and writting. I'm reading now.

Believe me I know how fantastic it all sounds but that's the way it went down. Im not that creative to make it up. Infact that's the way it always goes down every time the Other world wants to show me something complicated. Simple things they do in the spirit world. Sometimes they last days other time weeks.