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musings designed to harm no one

Entries in this blog

and then

The Descent

I've been thinking a lot, lately about my country and the path we seem to be on.  It's difficult not to become overwhelmed and depressed over the changes I see occurring daily.  I try to remind myself that a large part of the bad news is generated as propaganda but not all of it is.  This past week, the New York State Senate passed a law into their Constitution that allows a baby to be killed the day before it is due.  It also allows a provider to end that baby's life even if it survives the abortion attempt and is born alive.  The usual suspects on the Left vociferously defend the law by putting the best possible face on it.  They point to the provisions about that decision being made due to birth defects but in truth, we all know that once this is commonly accepted within the abortion industry, there will be no penalties for those who exterminate a viable life for the sake of convenience for the mother.  I made some statements in anger when I heard of this decision and even heard applause on the Senate floor upon its passage.  I just want to make it clear that I don't hate New Yorkers as a group.  I don't even hate those who voted for and cheered the passage of this abomination.  I AM crushed and sad that any pace in America would pass such a law.  Illinois seems to be getting in on the same action by attempting to pass laws that allow what is basically infanticide.  

There are situations where a mother's life is truly at risk and as such, terminating a pregnancy, while horrible, is still preferable.  The truth is that those situations are statistically VERY rare compared to the numbers of babies who are snuffed out simply because they'd be a burden on a young woman and her partner.  The issue has always been polarizing and people cannot accept the goodwill that exists on each side.  I believe that any legislator that votes pro-life should also stand up for helping to care for those unwanted babies.  I think our nation has become so morally bankrupt that our future is sealed and it won't be pretty.  When we fall, nationally, we will deserve it.  We will be without excuse.  If we can be so callous to the most innocent among us, what mercy do we deserve?  

God's will be done, the sooner the better.  We have become a habitation of every evil thing known to mankind.  We ALL are responsible.

and then



(1) Isn't it weird that in America our flag and our culture offend so many people, but our benefits don't?


(2) How can the federal government ask U.S. citizens to pay back student loans, when illegal aliens are receiving a free education?


(3) Only in America are legal citizens labeled "racists" and "Nazis" but illegal aliens are called "Dreamers."


(4) Liberals say, "If confiscating all guns saves just one life, it's worth it!" Well then, if deporting all illegals saves just one life, wouldn't that be worth it?


(5) I can't quite figure out how you can proudly wave the flag of another country but consider it punishment to be sent back there.


(6) The Constitution: It doesn't need to be rewritten; it needs to be reread.


(7) William F. Buckley said: "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other points of view and are then shocked and offended when they discover there are other points of view."


(8) Joseph Sobran said: "'Need' now means wanting someone else's money. 'Greed' means wanting to keep your own. 'Compassion' is when a politician arranges the transfer."


(9) Florida has had 119 hurricanes since 1850, but some people still insist the last one was due to climate change.


You can’t fix stupid…. I don’t care how much duct tape you use!




and then

The Future

A chronic lack of civility in our public discourse has led to an approaching breakdown of social order.  When it comes, when the nastiness reaches a critical point, who will be willing to back down and compromise?  When hotheads shed blood, who will reach across to make peace?  WWII ended 73 years ago.  Is our institutional memory so short?  Do we so little value what has taken 2 centuries to build?  Finally, are we so full of hate that we'd rather lose all than admit an error and compromise?  Our electronic media is our access to the wider world.  How are we to understand what is happening in our world if we cannot trust what these arbiters of truth tell us?  There is yet time for cooler heads to prevail but that time is shrinking.

and then

Trump and America's future

The republicans fought Obama's agenda where it diverged from their principles. I fully expect the Dems to do the same and when it is done on real principles, I have no problem with it.  We are 340 million, very diverse human beings with different needs and wants.  The reason this country became so successful is that we have, before now, always managed to find common ground.  Even when the Republicans began the long fight against Obama, it was AFTER he humiliated his former opponent, McCain, by telling him publicly that the campaign was over and that HE won.  He never ONCE after that, attempted to reach across the aisle and make common cause with them on anything.  Even then, they gave him 7 of his critical cabinet picks without fighting because that was always the tradition.  That wasn't done out of respect for Obama, it was in respect for our country and its new president.  For the next two years at least, Trump has the power to make huge strides in changing policy.  I said it right after the election and inauguration, Trump will only remain president for four years if he keeps his promises as best he can and is relentless in making his case daily to his supporters.  If they ever turn against him in any substantial percentage, the Republican elite will shank him like Brutus.  Count on it.  McCain and Graham are already sharpening the blades.  Until that happens, though, Trump will beat every attempt to stop him OR even to cause him to change tack.  The hystaters on the Left will pull out all the stops.  He will be investigated by large numbers of individuals and any slightest bit of potential dirt will be magnified and shouted from the electronic rooftops and it will do ZERO good for their cause.  Trump is untouchable as long as he does his best to keep his promises.

I said all that to say this.... this behavior is unprecedented in the era of modern communication.  UNPRECEDENTED.  I think Trump should, regardless how nasty the SC nominee is treated, reach out in a reasonable way and offer the senators who are up for re-election some positive legislation for the country that can help them at home in 2018.  If he does that early, he should be able to expect some help from them on his agenda.  If they refuse then he should not look back and he should push his agenda without apologies.  He is not Satan or Hitler, he is a guy who is phenomenally placed to make a real difference for Americans who believe in traditional values without HATING our fellow citizens who are not comfortable with them.  America is changing and it will be dramatically different within a few decades.  If the agendas of the Left and its extreme fringes attempt to force their ideology on the other half of the nation, if they refuse to work peacefully with the current government and especially if they become violent in their protestations, this great nation could easily fall into a new Civil war.  It won't be about enslaved racial groups or State's Rights.  It will be fought in every state, county and town.  It will split families.  It will be a bloody conflict between those who are willing to work and produce, versus those who simply demand from the public treasury.  One side will be armed and know very well how to use them.  The other will depend on law enforcement and the national military to enforce the whim of a rogue government they have managed to set in place.  The hystaters will fail miserably and many citizens all over the country will die.  In the aftermath, our nation will be severely weakened but this may be what is necessary to bring the Progs back into reality and back to a place where they are willing to help build and stop tearing down.  I pray we can avoid this but I see no way any longer. 

I'd like some feedback if anyone can do and remain civil.  Thanks!

and then

America's choice

It's 1:30 AM here in south Alabama.  The election will be decided in about 48 hours. A lot of sound and fury that signifies nothing?  Oh no, it signifies a great deal for us and the world.

I want to begin with a disclaimer because there are a few here who cheerfully accuse me of inciting violence.  The following statements are my OPINIONS.  They are nothing more or less than that....opinions.  I do NOT desire or advocate any violence against ANY person, group or government entity.  

I pray that HRC is defeated but I fully expect her to win.  Unless irrefutable proof is brought out that cheating has occurred on a scale that could change the electoral outcome, I will accept the vote and the new president as legitimate.  That does not mean I will not protest any illegal actions by the administration, simply that I will accept the legitimacy of the choice of my fellow citizens.  What follows are my predictions about what I see happening in the weeks and months ahead.  I pray earnestly that I am mistaken but I base these predictions on my faith, (scant) knowledge of history, and my rather deeper understanding of human nature.

When HRC wins, I expect there to be a few here who will crow, shout and gloat over their "team" winning.  I consider that to be a childish response but I understand the urge.  If the Donald were to win I'd expect the same from many on the Right and I'd feel the same about them as well.  The issues in our country and our world are far too serious to surrender to such inanity.  The choice that Americans make in the next 48 hours will echo for years to come.  The only real guarantee that can be made at this point is that when the election is certified, half of the population will be angry, disgusted and perhaps, fearful.  That is a sad pronouncement on our nation but it is, what it is...

In my lifetime I have seen this country fall from a place of honor and respect in the world to a place of disrespect and disrepute.  I've seen the death of civility in our political discourse and the rise of rampant dishonesty and assignment of blame taking the place of genuine attempts at compromise for the common good.  Instead of finding a middle ground, our politicians have clashed and become expert in procedural moves that tie up government and confound their opponents.  The "game" has become more important than the outcomes for the people.  Our politicians have come to love the power and prestige so much that they will suffer any dishonor to acquiesce to their check writers.  

We are beginning to see our country unravel because of our greed and inability to compromise.  Over the last couple of decades, the most dangerous changes have become business as usual.  Unless quickly remedied, those changes will be the death of our republic.  For a "nation of laws, not men" the very hint of corruption on a large scale can be devastating.  When the votes are counted this time around, I expect Americans to have given the nod to a known criminal with more excess legal baggage than a mobster.  I cannot find the words to explain how obscene I find this to be.  When she is declared the winner, there will be celebrating crowds to usher her into the office.  I wonder where those crowds will be a couple of years hence?  I suspect they will be angry at their lot in life and will be blaming everyone but themselves for that condition.  Elections have consequences.  By installing a lawbreaker as the chief law ENFORCEMENT official in our republic, lawlessness will naturally take hold on a wider and wider scale.  If equal justice under law gives cohesiveness to our government, what will the opposite condition do to it?

HRC desires to raise taxes on those earning 250K or more per year.  Most small businesses fall into that range.  Small business provides about 80% of the employment in America.  Between that impact, the upward spiraling healthcare costs, and the strain of ever-increasing regulations on businesses, what kind of economic future can we expect?  

I believe that HRC and her immediate predecessor are both Alinsky disciples and have as their goal the dissolution of our current type of governance.  They actively work to make the system unstable with the goal of collapsing it and building a new edifice on the ruins.  Unless there are enough citizens who will stand against them, they WILL succeed.  The chaos this will cause globally will affect every nation on earth.  Standing against this juggernaut won't be easy or cost-free.  The alternative will be the loss of freedom and the imposition of a radically new form of tyranny in what was the greatest nation on the planet.  

The "just" and "inclusive" government will openly demand obedience to the whims of tiny minorities whose behaviors are considered disgusting or bizarre to the great majority of voters.  And when the media and the Left have completed their "legal" putsch, America will be a one-party government for the foreseeable future. Oh, the irony of an inclusive government that demands strict uniformity of everyone who believes differently from themselves.  It is a recipe for rebellion.  When that rebellion begins, the nation they have created will crumble.  What, if anything, will rise to take its place?

and then

"Crazy, maybe even bat**** insane"

Those here who know me, even a little, might appreciate how true to form I was in responding to another one of those folks on the political "progressive" side.  Or not.  I was answering a criticism this guy had about Trump vs Hillary.  He saw my opinion and informed me what he thought of it/me.  Here is my response.  It was centered primarily on the danger she poses because of her gun control agenda.

+Richard Mcneil You're more than stubborn, you're nuts, bat**** insane, even
9:42 AM

You're welcome to your opinion. Anonymous folks on the web don't get under my skin. I'm not trying to anger you, either. I'm serious. I'm 56 and I can tell you that things politically are as bad right now as they have ever been in my life. People who consider themselves to the Right of the political spectrum have watched a president who for 8 years has done everything he wanted, regardless what the other COEQUAL (until now) Legislative Branch did or said. He has actually broken existing law, MADE up his own version of laws and has routinely just ignored laws that were inconvenient to his agenda. THAT is tectonic. It has changed - possibly forever - the balance of powers in this nation and it was done without any effective resistance from his opposition. Our nation's laws were based on British Common law and PRECEDENT rules in this system. From now on we can expect any president to use the "pen and phone" whenever they cannot or will not work with the Congress. Hopefully you can see the danger in this since someday, eventually, it will be a non "progressive" president doing these things. As bad as the Left believe Bush was, even he didn't just try to rule as a king. I expect Hillary to win and if she doesn't then I expect a certain amount of transient (hopefully) violence on the part of those on the campuses and the inner city Plantations. She will use her pen and phone to limit gun rights to the extent she feels possible and she will begin that process quickly after taking office. Anyone who has watched her career has seen how amoral and angry she is. She will over reach because she feels invulnerable. When even the FBI won't touch you then you pretty much have carte blanch to do as you will. If these restrictions are minor and sensible then, while they will be fought on principle due to the corrosive effects of precedent, there will be no violence initially. When she comes for the next bite at the apple and cops or other government agencies begin arriving at doors to relieve certain groups of their arms then I stand by every word. There WILL be a civil war. It won't be about race, either. The lines will look like a Gerrymandering map. Rural areas in every state except possibly the extreme Northeast. Whole regions like the mountain West, Southeast (minus major cities maybe) and the Southwest will form up in defense of the Second Amendment. No personal offense intended but you seem quite Left leaning and I hope you realize that just because you are used to being compliant in all things managed by the government does NOT mean most of the rest of us are. I am a law abiding citizen, have been all my life. There comes a time when that can change. Our founding fathers resorted to extreme violence when they had tried all other options - to wit:

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. 

What that means today is that when one ideology uses the mechanisms or a corrupt government to gain permanent advantage over all others - and to FORCE that ideology onto all, then fighting is the last resort. No sane person wants war with their neighbors, but dying for liberty kind of runs in the blood line where I'm from. You probably should do some serious thinking about the millions of "bat**** crazy" Americans who have had ENOUGH and just aren't going to bow before the queen.
I've not heard back from the guy yet, can't imagine the response though :)   
I truly hope that I'm so wrong that I'm going to be very embarrassed come December and January.  I can't see it though.  This ...person.... is as transparent in her evil as a glass of poisoned Evian.  
You know, I've always been a BIG guy.  Often fat but ALWAYS, BIG.  Rather than be a bully I tended toward staying quiet and out of people's way because I didn't like conflict, especially violent conflict.  I learned to live and let live as much as possible.  It takes patience and acceptance of diverse opinions and usually is it's own reward.  Just occasionally though, someone or something will insert itself unbidden into your life that is, simply NOT ACCEPTABLE.  When that happens then adjustments, painful at times, must be made.  
I wonder if the Brits and later the "Yankees" thought of  people like myself as "bat**** crazy"?  I just hope that before this trip begins, the progressives think long and hard about this train they seem to want to ride.
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and then

Eretz Yisrael?

So the Israeli government has decided to stir the hornet's nest - again. I'm sure there are many around the globe (who pay attention) who will immediately vilify them for their desire to clim ALL THE LAND. As those here who know me can tell you, I use that expression REGULARLY when speaking of the motivations of the Palestinian. I feel thoroughly justified in doing so because of their very rhetoric (nearly daily) on the topic. So Israel grabs a huge chunk of ground in a move that is guaranteed to cause them trouble - when they are already facing major (and multiple) international investigations into their behavior in the latest round of smack down on those who are trying to kill them. That sounds a little odd to me - at least, simplistic. I admit that even I am curious as to why NOW, why in that particular location? I'd be interested to know the real story and not just the claims and counter claims of opposing groups of supporters/detractors. Perhaps Bibi is solidifying the right of his shaky coalition? Or maybe as RG thinks, it's a ploy of negotiation? My best guess is it is a plain old stick in the eye to those who have been pushing the current PM around - read: "screw you, Obama". It is curious to me that Bibi would prostrate himself one minute to the demands of the ******* we have for a US president, then the next, spit in his eye. Whatever the reason it is sure to enflame and incite and if it is a mindless tit for tat then it certainly will be counter productive. To be clear: as a Christian Zionist I thoroughly believe that all the land from the "river of Egypt to the Euphrates" will someday be the possession of the descendants of Jacob. But I do not believe that is to happen until Christ returns AND is accepted as messiah by those descendants.

And for those who believe Fatah was not as much involved in this war as Hamas - the PA supported with words and protests EVERYTHING that the Hamas did.

Perhaps Israel could build a few huge tracts of housing and make it available to Palestinians who no longer have homes in Gaza? It would alleviate the excess need of allowing too many building supplies that could (would) be used to make tunnels and even create some good will in the bargain? Nah.....

and then

News from an online evangelist

Hope everyone is having a great day! So I'm surfing the net and happen across a young woman who puts herself out there exhorting people to come to Christ in these last days and she has a rather singular message about something that is to happen soon. It's on the internet so I give it it's due consideration but it has me thinking, what if? It seems an entirely plausible event that could happen and would not be surprising in the least.

In short she is citing John McInerney - a retired 3 star general (Army) and some guy I never heard of who both think 9-11-14 may be a really memorable day, but for different reasons. The general thinks that the first Malaysian jet landed in Pakistan and is going to be used for an attack on or about 9-11. The second guy swears he has reliable info that over 100 public malls around the country will ALL be hit on the same day - 9-11-14.

My gut tells me nothing will happen but the question I have for everyone is - what IF? How would we respond as a nation to such a provocation? How COULD we respond, realistically?

and then

Musings of a Christian Zionist

Hello everyone - everyone who cares enough to have a read :)

Recently I came to the conclusion that my opinions and heartfelt beliefs seem to cause unrelenting anger on the M.E. forums and since there are other members there who are FAR better than I at explaining the situation in Israel's defense I have determined to leave that struggle to them. Arguing for the sake of arguing is childish but I find I have a real need to make a stand and to defend the people of Israel in their struggle to remain on their land - that land which (in my belief) was promised to them by God himself. So from this point forward anyone interested in a CZ's views on the situation in the M.E. can come here and have a laugh, a disagreement (civilly) or even just a good conversation. In the coming days I plan to collect my thoughts and explain as best I can why I believe the way that I do and why I expect terrible changes to come to this region in the near future.

Cheers to all -

and then

Thoughts on Safety and Gun Rights

On Friday, December 14, 2012 a 20 year old man broke into an elementary school in Newtown, CT. He killed the principal and 5 other teachers/psychologist. He Killed 20 children – all 6 or 7 years old. He then shot himself in the head. No real answers on motive are possible. The right to keep and bear arms is now under full assault in this nation. I predict that new regulations will be imposed that will take away many rights in this regard. Some, perhaps all, will be reasonable. But incremental steps will continue until all weapons will be outlawed and only those citizens who are willing to disobey civilly will still have guns. They will become part of a sub culture and will live in fear of incarceration; instead of standing NOW and stopping this process of confiscation before it can take hold.

I find the timing of this tragedy and the identity of the victims as well as the location where the crime happened to be a little too convenient. No one on the left could have chosen a more heart wrenching target, more anger inducing time, place or circumstance to forward their agenda of gun control than this event has done. I do NOT believe this is coincidence.

I think that so called “assault weapons” will be banned again. I have no problem with a specific type of weapon being banned. I have no problem with high capacity magazines being banned. But when the bans take hold and only long guns for hunting are left in the possession (legally) of citizens, what will be the reaction when a person enters a school or a mall and kills dozens with a semi auto shotgun? Do we then ban long guns? Of course! They must be the problem. It is not difficult to see the agenda driven politics of this. It is not difficult to see where this will probably lead in time. What remains a bit difficult to see at this point is whether or not Americans still have sufficient backbone to stand against this right being removed that they will resist even if it means becoming a criminal. Will they, we, have the strength of character to sacrifice to keep this right for future generations or has liberty at last, truly been extinguished in the US.

How does one look at the faces of 20 children whose lives have been so cruelly extinguished and still demand the right to own guns? I think that for me I can do it without guilt whatsoever because I did not harm those children – a madman did. And in future these kinds of atrocities will continue even if all guns are made illegal. Prohibition in a “free” society does not work. It simply adds another level of power to an already oppressive government. When will we be “safe” enough? Maybe when the government can observe and control every thought and action.

and then

At the Changing of Seasons

Christmas 2012 is approaching and I couldn't be more content. In 3 days yet I will have been here at UM for one year. Made a couple of friends, argued with several people that I've come to respect in spite of themselves :) and been given a chance to see the world from a different perspective. I let my passions about my religious beliefs get in the way of exercising my faith and though I still love and support the people of Israel without exception I have become more aware of the wrong done in the name of the State. While here I have come from a place so bad it was near the end of me to a place where I can see tomorrow again. Not a bad trade for growing a year older. The Mayans watched the stars and planets move across the sky and learned to predict when they would appear and disappear - they learned how to mark a change of seasons. I think we all do this in our own ways as we make our way through this life. I guess most of us generate more heat than light in the process but in the end we change with the seasons and we find ourselves in a different place. Hopefully a better place. As this season of light and hope comes round again I just wanted to wish everyone here at UM a time of tranquility and rest. A time of introspection but also joy. And I want to thank each and every one of you who have helped me along the way this past year.


and then

Why Iran? Why Now?

In the coming weeks or months there is a likelihood that bombs are going to fall on multiple locations in Iran. Depending on the time of day dozens or even hundreds of civilians will die. In Natanz, Qom and Esfahan there will be workers at various plants with duties as diverse as engineers to janitors and night watchmen who will die. Civilians with the misfortune of being about their business near these facilities will also die. Iranian rage and international condemnation are a given response to an overt Israeli and possibly American action. If the Iranian response follows the conventional wisdom then dozens of Israelis and possibly some US soldiers will die in the counter strike that will occur.

Depending on the targeting and accuracy of the Israeli weapons used there could even be nuclear radiation leakage from Natanz.. At first glance this may seem like a war crime. But on closer inspection I believe it to be a simple delaying action in an ongoing war for the survival of western civilization. It will not be decisive. It will serve only to obstruct for a period of time the ambitions of the men in Tehran who are seeking after hegemony in the Gulf region. So in the age of shake and bake diplomacy, how do we justify the death and disruption to global economics which will occur? By steadfastly countering lies with the truth: Iran is pursuing nuclear weapons technology. Iran wants to control the Gulf region, it's politics, it's militaries and eventually it's oil wealth. Iran represents the greatest catalyst for instability that the world has seen in decades and it MUST be countered in it's nascent stage. If oil prices explode long term (doubtful) or if terrorism increases in the west (and?) is the world truly worse off than if Iran is found to have a nuclear weapon and the protection and prestige that accompanies that accomplishment? Over 50 million human beings lost their lives and the world was massively disrupted due to the ambitions of a handful of "true believers" 60 years ago in Europe. Imagine what the world would look like today had Hitler possessed Atomic weaponry. In the grand scheme of things are higher oil prices...possible recession - really such an awful thing? Are the dead from Natanz, Qom, Esfahan and Israel worth more than the millions who might survive due to their sacrifice?

and then

Leonardo would you martyr yourself for any cause? Is there a situation that could arise in your life that would be so anathema to your beliefs that you would take any step you had to in response? This war we are engaged in is an all or nothing contest for "civilization". As a world we can have something resembling the status quo of rationality, science, compassion and enlightenment or we can slip back in time to an era as brutal and dark as any the world has ever known. I think that the reason there were officers who took this course without being alarmed is that they simply see the world as it is and don't force every thought through a filter for PC behavior. These men and women have death as part of their stock in trade daily and they know the value of cold logic in combat situations. Total war came into it's own in the '40s with airpower and the bomber. The 50 million souls that were lost were a pin prick to what is coming. That struggle was like a street brawl compared to the one we are engaged in today. To think that we are not at war with the politico/religious system of Islam is folly. Islam isn't about peace. Islam is about submission. If you are willing to live dhimmi to a backwards and barbaric culture of rape, murder and genocide then you may survive, but to what purpose?

You fret that the US military may have become "Christianized" and I say you have little reason to worry. One need not be a Christian to have the ability to assess this enemy of mankind. All wars in the past have run a familiar course where one side is utterly defeated and capitulates or simply tires of the effort and gives in.... those struggles were about land, wealth or power. THIS war is about the total submission of all populations of the world to an ideology. The West will never be willing to annihilate Mecca and Medina. We have a moral code that ensures our destruction unless we become as barbaric as the Muslim. But I say to the LtC that taught the course: Good on you! Thankfully there are some willing to say the truth in the harsh light of reality.

Source: US Military's "Total War" Against Islam

The responses quickly began flowing about how hateful and twisted I am that I would even contemplate using nuclear weapons against human beings. I was/am speaking from the cold light of survival in a war that the West cannot lose and remain the place we have all been nurtured by. There is a great war afoot and where one stands will either be as a free man or a slave. The great number of responses, if they were being honest and not just provocative, tells me that we in the West may well be on our last legs. It's a depressing dilemma. Do we bend a knee to the evil that IS Islam? Or do we become evil ourselves in order to defeat it? This last case, it could be argued, is precisely what we did in WWII. We embraced the ideology of TOTAL WAR. No civilians any longer - only those who were our enemies or supporters. And for speaking truth as I see it I am called disgusting and evil. As though I advocate the casual killing of millions, when my words CLEARLY indicate that's not what I was saying.

Submission to a way of life like the true Islam that is explained in the Qur'an and the Hadiths is, or should be, anathema to every human being who has ever longed to breathe free. I truly believe that mankind will soon have to choose whether to be slave to this evil or die trying to be free.

and then


The past 3 years of my life have been an incredible train wreck. Slow motion, grinding metal breathless scream sort of stuff. It's been relentless and just doesn't seem to stop. I've gone from being somewhat self assured to a hollow shell of a man. Needless to say I have had a few moments when I thought seriously of pulling the chain and saying adios. But I didn't. The reasons don't really matter. A few months ago I found this place and it's been like a lifeline. Like a confusing, opinionated, slightly crazy family that I suddenly found myself a part of, even if only tangentially. It truly has given purpose back in some measure to a life without any and I'm grateful for that to everyone here at UM....even those who have explained my lack of intellect to me in excruciating detail.

The demons have come calling again and I'm really, really tired of it. Imagine a life where there is no joy, no happiness or hope of anything better in the future. This is clinical depression. It's not a "bad day". It is a soul killing black maw that reaches out to extinguish every bit of light and then kicks you in the head just to be sure it has your attention. Medication helps some but the days always come where the clouds in your head stop the light and leave you zero reason that you can think of to even breathe in and out.

Someone here has a tag line that says: "If you stop to think, don't forget to start again" I can relate to that most days...... and I have a real fear that a day will come when I just don't remember to start up again. I decided to dump this here, not because I'm having any serious suicidal ideations but simply to have a base point for the crappy feeling that I can go back to when I feel better. I'm just trying to understand as best I can how the thinking can change so dramatically. Junior Seau's suicide is in the news for a few days. THAT shook me a little. He was the best of the best in his profession. Had a happy and fulfilling life and in the course of a few hours he just decided .... enough..... buh bye now. I don't kid myself that my passing would be of any great moment to more than a handful of people and that, only for a brief moment...life goes on, so they tell me.

The longer I struggle with this the deeper my interest grows in the afterlife. So much so that I find myself daydreaming about how it might be. My faith tells me that I will live forever in a spiritual "body" free of pain, sadness and depression. Unless I go to a place of torment forever for having the audacity to check out early from this lovely little party. I guess that decision will be like every other in this life.....you pays your money and takes your chances.

If anyone actually reads this please don't think me crazy. But if you know someone with clinical depression maybe try to listen to them?

and then

Leap Day 2012

It's really quiet as I sit here and at the cursor moving in time with my thoughts. Damn that sticky U again...gotta get that fixed. I came to UM almost 3 months ago and began to dump thoughts and feelings that I didn't even know I had. I look back and see I've posted over a 1000 thoughts in response to others here. Some people here are *******s. Most are intelligent and with the just right mix of quirkiness and humor to suit my personality. And I have learned from and appreciate both types.

I spend most of my time giving my opinions"holding forth" as they used to say, on issues of war and peace in the middle east. I especially get fired up over Israel because I am a Christian Zionist. For me that does not mean seeking war and chaos so the saviour will return. It just means that I support Israel's right to exist in it's historic land with Jerusalem as it's undivided and eternal capitol.

So many here take issue with that and are so vehement about the land belonging to the Palestinians that I sometimes get angry and a bit spiteful in my comments. Sue me, I'm human.

I'm not sure when I first began to think of Israel as a special place or to associate it with my belief in God but my earliest memories include these feelings. I believe we are on the verge of an awakening worldwide of a new paradigm of unrestrained violence unseen in this modern age. Assad is opening the eyes of the world again to the use of raw power. It's not that such uses have never happened before. It's that we can no longer afford these impulses with the weapons we now possess.

As I write this it's 3:48 DST in Mobile, Alabama. That means it's almost 11 am in Homs. The men, women and children there are wondering if today is their last on this earth. Shells falling and bringing the crash of thunder so near many can feel the shock pass through them. The reports that make it out tell the tale. They are wondering why the world forgot them. I wonder this also. I am not a natural fan of the Syrian people. If they were strong and undivided they would be and have marched the streets chanting Death to Israel, Death to America. But they are human and they are being exterminated by an evil that knows no politics or allegiance other than raw power and hatred.

We humans are big on precedent setting. Somehow, if we can point to another time or place and say - see! they did it there - before - then we can excuse ourselves almost any horror.

As I sit and ponder this extra day I've been given I wonder what the world will be like on February 29 in 2016. Will this crisis be past with another having taken it's place or will the war still be raging in Iran or Syria.

I've spoken with many here at UM who think that some nefarious military industrial complex is allied with the Western governments to maintain perpetual war for the sake of profits alone. I just cannot accept that premise. I grew up trusting my government and it's a habit that dies hard.

I believe that the city of Damascus, Syria will be destroyed overnight by a nuclear weapon from Israel. I'm hardly unique in that belief. I asked members here whether they would believe in prophecy if this happened and they resoundingly said no. Not even if it happened overnight just as Isaiah predicted roughly 2600 years ago. They cited the logic of their opinions. I have to wonder, though. Will that logic be as firm the day after Damascus is no more? I pray for them that it will cause them to question themselves and their worldview. Jesus said of His own predictions that He was telling his disciples beforehand what would be so that when it did happen, they would believe.

I hope the Syrians in Babr Amar and Homs and Hama live to see a new day. I pray that the wounded can find some relief from their pain. I pray most of all that God will have mercy on all involved in this hellish place.

It's leap day. One extra day for us to consider how to get it right before it's too late.

and then


My nickname is Skip. I'm 51 and decided to see what blogging is all about. Everything you bother to read here is my opinion and is not intended to harm or even to impress anyone. It's just a mirror constructed with words and the image you see may not please you but it also won't hurt you. I've read some of what other's here have written and I can assure you that I'm not profound or poetic. Just feel the need to reach out and see if anyone else understands what passes for the "wisdom" I've been beaten by.

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