I'm badgered within an inch of my life. I respond in kind, but somehow it makes me obsessed and wrong.
I'm so done.
Let The Weird Begin
I'm badgered within an inch of my life. I respond in kind, but somehow it makes me obsessed and wrong.
I'm so done.
I've been neglectful of this forum.
A lot of drama as if late. Tiresome. So I'm cocooning, so to speak.
Forums..... I know we aren't allowed to discuss other forums here, but this is not really that.
This is just abstract musings about my experiences out there in forum land.
I settled here, after a bad experience at another well established forum.
I liked it here, but friends I met here, moved on. I followed. We are still friends, and go to forums together. Even now, 8 years later.
We are closer than ever before as friends too. It makes my heart all warm and fuzzy to think about.
After here, there were a series of fun, albeit, weird forums, all of which closed.
I found some very cool people on these forums. Some I still know, some I do not.
That saddens me. I lost track of some very cool people, but what can you do.
I find the mood/personality, of each forum, are as different as people are from one another.
A lot of the same people, frequent all of these places, and yet, they all have very different energies.
From my first stint here, to now, I find this forum has mellowed.
Very laid back now. To me anyway. I like it.
I find it facinating that some people here, still have the same avatar that they did in 2011...
I am just coming off a 5 day stint in the hospital.
It was actually life threatening due to blood loss.
Long story but, I was basically bleeding into my abdomen.
2 vessels were torn.
They kept bleeding until my abdomen couldn't take on any more fluids. That actually stopped the bleeding to a degree , or I'd have died almost immediately.
So.... Stubborn that I am, I refused surgery and a blood transfusion. Surgery.. Yeah no.
I had a friend bring me Chinese herbs the next morning. They stop bleeding cold.
That seemed to help, but I was eating up IV fluids, and when they drew blood, it was taking on the consistency of red watercolor paint.
I had very few red blood cells left, which made breathing difficult, and I was coming close to probably coding and or greatly infarcting my heart muscle.
They had a procedure to stop the bleeding as well. Not surgery... Duh, but as weak as I was,, it was impossible to do.
Yyeeaaahhh, so I had to give in and agree to a transfusion.
I got like 4 bags of packed cells. Maybe more. I was kind of out of it by then.
So, long story short, I had the PROCEDURE Sunday , and I'm out of the hospital today , in my bed, drinking tea.
They wanted to keep me 2 more days, and well, HELL NO.
I'm very pale, weak, but I have the herbs for that now.
I will be ok.... I.... think.
But, in short, I'd love to thank all the people that donate blood.
Without you, a lot of people would die.
I'd donate, but I'm too anemic.
I'm on the bone marrow donor list however.
Life goes on. My life tales are made for an Agony Aunt.
I'm definately feeling more like myself. Slowly extricating all the feelings.
He helped by telling me how lame he thinks I am, so it made it much easier this time.
.I'm lame because I loved him apparently . Yes really.
He said he likes a challenge. He's a hunter. I was like shooting fish in a barrel by expressing heart felt feelings .
I do still care about him, but i honestly wonder, if I ever did make him mad , if he wouldn't hurt me physically.
I seem to evoke these feelings that make him seethe..
He says he would never hit a woman,but I think he would hurt me.....he literally doesn't see me as a woman is all I can take away from it. That also helped me move forward finally. I'm VERY much a woman, so...
Very sad to me, but I had to face the reality of all of it.
I tried to make the situation more bearable, for both of us, but, as always... *rolls eyes*, my actions were thwarted.
Always, always always, the same person doing the thwarting. I'm 100% sure they have a personal interest. They deny it but,.... and hey, it seems to be on his waterline.
Water seeks its own level. She does. They flirt endlessly. He treats her with respect.
So.... Mazel tov. I cannot compete. *shrugs*
In any case, I'm trying to stay perky. Things to see, places to go, people to hang out with .
There's someone else whispering in my ear suddenly.
I have known them for many many years. Had a huge crush on them at one point.... but dunno... He's more like a big brother to me now.. I do love him , a lot, but I'm not sure romantic involvement... is a good idea...
People are saying, "GO FOR IT!", but it could complicate various friendships I have, and what if it doesn't work out? I don't do the staying friends thing very well.
I could lose him forever then. I think I would die of a very broken heart if I lost him forever.
Odd though. Isn't it? You love some people sooooo profoundly, on so many levels, and you'd turn your life upside down just to be with them. A complete GO FOR IT situation......a do or die... the feelings make you want to die... a white hot passion that makes you ache.
But then this other person, who's love is platonic, but *so* important to you, you just won't cross that line, for fear of losing them.
Which is the greater love then? I'm truely flummoxed by my unusual knee jerk response to this. I'd have thrown myself at him immediately if this was when I first met him. Or even 5 years after I first met him...
I just don't get it..... *ponders*
I'm weird. What can I say.
I thank UM for letting me convaless here, and putting up with my mellow drama. You guys are awesome.
*blows kisses to all of you*
Can't go on. It's all for naught.
Won't ever get better or change .
Sad, but.... Nothing I say or do seems to be right. Tired of being abused.
So he's right in that respect.
Why do I expect a different outcome?
I wasn't sure if I should've made this a post in spirituality, or a blog entry.
But here we are.
It's all very interesting. I will be saying my mantras later tonight.
Feb 19: Supermoon Of The Higher Realms – Vedic Astrology – Magha Purnima
More here :
Happy New Year Folks
Long time no see.
22 years..... He's still a one of a kind.
Unfortunately, I post this with a heavy heart.
The drummer and bassist of this band are a life long friends of mine.
Brad Barnett, the drummer, lost his battle with pancreatic cancer today.
I knew him longer than anyone else, given he sat next to me all through grammar school, and we also went to high school together.
The entire NYC punk community is in mourning, and I post this here for him.
RIP old friend.
You were one of a kind.
So I went for Ganesh Chaturthi today .My ashram , which I have been going to for years.
When you go , you can have a puja done.Thats a blessing.
You give the priest things to have blessed,and things to offer hGanesha.
So the things to bless are in a bag .We all give bags for puja.
When the puja is over , they give us our bags back .
You take it home to put on your altar etc.
So I went for the full ceremony today , which lasts two hours.
After the ceremony ,the pujas are done .
So a few of us handed our bags in early .
They sat ifo the shrine for the two hours.
Then we had to get in line to get annointed after the ceremony , amd the bags were brought up to be redistributed . I was in line , and I saw people going to get their bags back. The priest was giving them back .
Something told me to go get it , but i said "nah ....it will be there when im done".
Five minutes go by, I look up , and all the bags are gone...
I was astound .If you give a bag, you get a bag .Which means someone went up and took a bag they didnt put in for puja .
Its a high holy holiday in hindu belief. Like Christmas literally , and everyone is supposidly so enlightened, and someone stole my puja bag .
I almost put my silver and emerald Ganesh ring (I got it in japan in 1999) in the bag ...
I was so upset . The priest got me another bag and put blessed flowers in it.....but I felt somehow gyped....
This is amazing.
So I got a new couch ,that folds out into a day bed.
It's the most comfy thing I've slept on in ages . Problem is ,when its folded out ,if I sit forward to watch the tv ,my back is against the actual wall .
I prefer it folded open ,so...I thought ,bed pillow.
I looked at a bunch on line ,and some are high techy . Some are frigging ugly . Some seem too small .
In my wanderings ,I came across this :
and I find it adorable. So I'm going to make one .
I found material I like ,so I'm going to order it .
It's pricey ,but you only need a few yards really
I wants roses ,and purples . What can I say .
That's another reason I want to make it. Print ones of these are very dull.
Team names . Hello kitty ,boring prints .
I haven't sewn anything in a while ,and my machine is broken ,but sewing by hand is no problem for me ,just time consuming .I have time.
I think this should be national news,and every person involved fired.
If you agree,please post it somewhere .
I cannot believe how the "judge" just sat there and did nothing .
She should sue the city
It is with a very heavy heart I write this.
I just got word Arturo Vega ,aka The Fifth Ramone ,just passed away .
I knew he was sick . I heard last night he was not good ,and now he's gone .
I have very fond memories of Artie from the old Ramones days .
His cases of Dom Perringion . His tee shirts . His tricked out apartment . His tales of Chihuahua Chihuahua ,and how he embraced his sexuality .
It was a part of him,so he discussed it as one discusses their love of cats or food .
Just casual .
I don't know how the Ramones legacy will fare with him gone ,as he kept a huge part of it alive .
Another sad day on the LES .
I'm so sick,and no one is singing Soft Kitty to me. I feel so dejected ...
Ahhhh,just as conspiracy theorists and people who believe in ghosts and demons ,can have alleged mental disorders.
Apparently ,so can people who obsessively denounce it all.
From a friend .And may I say ,Touche ....
ODD : Obsessive Debunking Disorder
: By Thomas Sheridan
Are Hardcore Skeptics and Debunkers Actually Brain Deficient? Their Own Beloved ’Hard Science’ Might Well Suggest Many Are.
We have all encountered them. The men and women of ’reason’. The self-appointed guardians and vanguards of materialist dogma along with their absolute faith and belief in official government and corporate press releases. The debunker, the hardcore skeptic—how they love to compulsively ridicule and mock all they deem ’pseudoscience’ and ’conspiracy theory’—while also declaring anyone who thinks outside the box or questions the prevailing orthodoxy, a "moron" and a "****". Matters not how solid the evidence you present them with is, nor how flimsy their own state-sanctioned ’hard science’ which they smugly offer up as their rebuttal; they are driven by a messianic compulsion to root out unscientific ’idiots’ with all the zeal and fanaticism similar to that of a Dominican or Jesuit charging through southern France in the twelfth century seeking out ’heretics’ for the burning. Irony does not even come into their myopic worldview—unless of course a government, corporate or university press office states this. Then it becomes an undisputed fact. Thanks to the likes of Richard Dawkins and Christoper Hitchens, these Internet-bound warriors of rationality see ’Creationists’ and ’hidden Christians’ around every corner and seek to root them out and expose them as part and parcel of their own peculiar secular witch hunt mentality.
The reality is that apart from their own kind—other self-proclaimed non-’idiots’—most people find such arrogant and obnoxious debunkers and hardcore skeptics to be strangely angry and boorish, and often confrontational to the point of hysterical. So many of them seem to lack basic social and behavioural skills when ’debating’ with their ’kook’ of choice. Their absolutism can be staggering at times. Yet, despite all this, they have somehow come to consider themselves ’cool’ and even ’sexy’ within the last decade. This is simply a lack of critical thinking on their behalf; a distorted worldview where only they are right and everyone else is an idiot.
However, when you strip down their whole mandate into its constituent parts, one soon finds that most of these ’scientifically’ minded crusaders have no actual accredited scientific background, and the entire thrust of their endeavours remains nothing less than unconditional servitude and unquestioned devotion to authority figures and the status quo. They seek entrenched orthodoxy, not exploration and wonder. They see an open-minded individual as being akin to a brain being infected with a disease, or the mark of a witch. They act as if Creationists are a real danger to human survival, as if the US Bible Belt has extended beyond its absurd boundaries. Creationists are about as much danger to the advances made by scientists in the last two hundred years as Graneda was to Ronald Reagan back in the early 1980s.
It is only fair to point out that there are also healthy skeptics who genuinely do look at anomalies and unexplained phenomena within the natural and unseen cosmos with a cautious eye. They will at least indulge a novel or radical opinion and look at the evidence before taking a stance—often it is an arbitrary position—based on using the Scientific Method coupled with Carl Sagan’s "extraordinary evidence". They are generally polite and only moderately condescending at worst.
The debunker and the hardcore skeptics, on the other hand, will even attack these open-minded Materialists, similar to how a flying saucer cult will have very public witch hunts of so-so members who have not shown their unconditional devotion to the messages sent from the ’space brothers’. The irony is that many of the open-minded skeptics that they attack often have a scientific or engineering background, and these folks are being attacked by debunkers whose sum total of their own quest for reason and logic rarely extends beyond procuring a ’Mythbusters’ DVD box set or having a poster of Richard Dawkins on their wall. Any Reductionist fence-sitters will be treated with ridicule and contempt—even fascistic vitriol and vicious insults.
There is simply no grey areas within the concrete consciousness of the debunker or the hardcore skeptic; instead, only a kind of scientific idealism—and idealism, both secular or otherwise, is really just a nice way of saying ’fascism’.
So what gives? How come they behave the way they do? A complete lack of social intelligence? An inability to debate, share interesting banter and listen to what another person is saying which might be at odds with their own beliefs? Surprisingly, their own beloved science might well provide the answer to these questions. It may well be an over-stimulation of the left hemisphere of their brains leading to a kind of self-induced schizophrenia whereby the right hemisphere of their brain has been switched off. Hence, why they place no value on other forms of non-lateral intelligence: noetic wisdom and intuition.
rest of article here: http://www.redicecreations.com/article.php?id=25155
As I have mentioned before,I am working hard with a grassroots bunch of like minded people ,to shut down a house of horrors of a rescue.
We've created a Facebook page ,just documenting FACTS .
This person has been doing this,13 years now. The fact the place remains untouched ,is a crime . I estimate they've killed over 600 animals,with negligence ,neglect ,and outright cruelty ,while making a lot of money off of them.
I suspect the killed animal number if much much higher . I'm going by what I can find evidence of .
This includes small animals,rabbits ,and even cats .
If you join this page ,if you spam it for any reason ,I will be greatly disappointed .
Please be respectful . It's not my page .I just work with the people running it .
You can see why I have been so engrossed in this ,if you look and read .
If any of this touches or enraged anyone here,please pass this facebook on .
The more people that know,the more likely the possibility of closing this house of horrors .
When we are successful in this endeavor ,we may tackle other houses of horror .
So I've been working on this animal cruelty case ,bunnies ...with a group of like minded people now,for months.
We thought it had finally come to fruition ,but the SPCA has been lying to us . This activity has been going on now,for over a decade,with dozens of complaints,health dept violations ,reports blah blah blah blah blllaahhh ...from two states ,and still nothing is done.
It's exasperating !
The woman doing it,is seriously unstable ,calculating ,and even evil . She has killed 100s ,and I do mean 100s of animals . Cats ,other rodents included . Rabbits alone ,its near 500 ,maybe more .
So I've been upset about it all ,and losing sleep etc.
I cannot imagine having been involved in all of it ,as long as some others working on it.
Official response has been seriously pathetic ,which makes it all the more frustrating .
As I always say ,I HATE PEOPLE !
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !
Wether you're a believer or not ,here are some fun links to see how the year of the Snake will affect you . How to feng shui yourself for good luck .How to find your lucky element
Celebrations around the world .
Dragon dance underwater !
Serpents as pets !
Oh my ..
Just like Obama has no intention of relaxing any rules for his and his families security ,Bloombarf is as hypo critical as ever .
Anyone who says its the animal people who are nuts,are the ones that don't get it ,and are sicker than any of us crazy cat ladies.
I hope this cretin has to answer for this .
Hold on tight -- tomorrow has the potential to be one of the most
significant days of the year!
No, not because of the over-hyped end-of-
the-world Mayan prophecy, but because of something much more
reliable ... a Winter Solstice unlike many in the past. As always, the Sun's move into Capricorn marks the start of winter
Solstice. But this time it's happening amid a perfect storm of world-shaping Astrological aspects. This Capricorn energy, along with the Sun's long night off, will bring seriousness to larger issues we face in our society and life. Translation? This is the moment in time where we
will feel the shift in consciousness. Will you be ready?
OK,I set it in los Angeles ,so its more particular to the USA .
There's an interpretation ,as if its a person ,but no....not applicable .
There is heavy Capricorn ,Aries and Scorpio influence .
Some Gemini and Saggitarius in there .
Aries is new beginnings,and we must be number one.
Capricorn is ambition ,and scorpio is war like jealous tendencies .
Sagg in Venus and mercury,merc retrograde,makes for glib attitude .
Nnnnn,the Pluto and Uranus are a concern .
As a chart for the usa,its a new beginning of deceptions,governed by ambitions.
New wars ,more than one I would say.
Do we all die ?
If I did it from nyc ,the houses and rising sign would change,so its mutable ,but the planets,won't change .
Another interesting link .More conspiracy rooted.
I hope everyone has a blessed peaceful holiday
I haven't listened to these bands in years. Ten years...at least since I knew them all ...close to it .
I know I hear Jimmy Tucketts voice on stuff like car commercials (sub.bionic singer).
He was quite a character . Both these bands got a raw deal from their record company.
Too bad...... .They all had talent .
I am very distressed with the behavior of one of my cats.
It's one of my Egyptian maus from Egypt .
The maus from Egypt,have very different personalities ,than cats from home. Serious alpha stuff ,in both males and females.
This guy,is the last one I adopted ,and he's a good boy for the most part ,but he's gotten very aggressive with the other cats ,as of late.
He bullies the girls as a rule,except Psiren,as she's the alpha female Mau .
He has been trying to get at Cthulhu,and I'm afraid he will kill him . He's still so small,and Draven has long fangs ,and is very strong and heavy .
Mostly he picks on Hellon,and suddenly Kali.
Kali is my matriarch .She lived outside for her first 9 years,with a moron family,who didn't even spay her .
She fought dogs and raccoons ,for her life,from what I was told .
She only has one eye.
He's been bullying her,and having full on fights .She's getting hurt .
This is not good . I've never even had cat fights in here. With all my cats,all the years .
Bickering ,yeh .Fights with injuries ? Never. And I've had him over a year . No idea why all of a sudden .
I spoke to the EMRO USA liaison ,and she said it happens.
It happened to one of her girls she said.
Bloody fights .
I wouldn't get rid of him,but he's out of control . I had to put the Kevlar handlers gloves on,break it up ,and I put him in the bathroom to cool off.
I'm very unhappy about it all ,as he is a sweet cat ,for the most part .