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The Darkness of The Deep

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About this blog

Personal views and musings from a lifetime of religious enquiry and spiritual exploration by a devoted God lover, Shaman and Vodou Initiate to the rank of Asogwe. The journey never ends, nor do the thoughts and tales I can tell. Some will get it, others never will. It is what it is.

Entries in this blog

 

Kundalini Rising: One Year On

It has been a bit over a year since my first post on Kundalini and my personal experience with it when it came in spontaneously and unexpected. A few here are interested and have asked me to keep posting now and then about it, so here is the One Year On post for you   It was said recently on the forum I read at to learn more about it that Kundalini is not the Life Force, but the Evolution Force. The more I ponder that idea, the more it fits, actually, as an answer to what it really is. Desc
 

About Guides

A lot of questions about guides have been hitting the old inbox lately, so it seems a good time to talk about them a bit. If you are a person who thinks the whole idea of spiritual guides is fantasy or delusional, this article is not for you. I also feel the need to add a disclaimer here. I teach what I know at the time I write something. I am aggressive about growth and learning more so change often. I am also not infallible, nothing I say should be taken as being spoken with a sense of authori
 

Tarot Series: Oracle cards or Tarot Cards?

I have been asked repeatedly to update and publish my old Tarot teaching series here but, that probably will not happen. If I do it and if it goes anywhere, it will end up in Kindle format or maybe on my own website. That is a lot of work and is the culmination of five decades of working with them. On the other hand, I don't mind talking about these old friends. I picked up a new deck to check out yesterday and decided a new article on a frequent question many new readers have can be put here. W
 

Finding Your Purpose

This is doubtless the most common question I am asked when I do readings or counselling for clients. "How do I find my purpose?" "What is my purpose?" "Why am I here?" I think we all wonder that, at least once in a while. For the past several months I have turned my occultic research to the channeling phenomenon and what is going on in the paranormal arena these days. No surprise that this basic question is one they deal with a lot, too. You can summarize nearly any random baker's dozen of
 

Evolution of God and Myself

2019 has been an intense year for me spiritually, during which I have gone back through beliefs and ideas I have had over my lifetime of what has essentially been a study of religion for me. I have been in pursuit of Truth, chasing God, as it were. What I have observed in the course of going through all of that collection is that my understandings of "god" has evolved, transformed, and when it comes right down to it, I am not sure what changed more - my understanding of "god" or my understanding
 

God Is Surprisingly Close

So many reject the idea of a god using the points of one religion or another. I can relate. I was beaten and exorcised by overzealous relatives as a child to "save" my soul and get rid of the voices and visions I was having. Ostracism was a way of life for me, always being viewed as trouble, something bad or wrong, for most of my most impressionable years. Yet, I had it easy, really. I lived. Some do not. Extremes are not good, no matter what one wishes to talk about. Yet, it did work, in a
 

Discernment: The Greatest Super Power, pt 2

The inclination is great when you first experience something you deem to be paranormal to take it all as having meaning, as being truth, and then packing in every single view or bit of input that supports it into the same file. I do understand. I have been fascinated with the paranormal and astral realms for decades. The appeal, the obsession, is real. It is my life work and passion, so I understand. But, you do yourself no good, no gain, and no profit in hoarding information without discri

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Discernment: The Greatest Super Power, pt 1

Every day, I see new members posting here about experiences they claim to have had and asking for help, or explanations or validation. It is as if our educational system and the internet is evolving us to an expectation of answers always being available if you just ask. But, the truth is that if you do not learn to think for yourself and communicate well, you will easily be washed away by the first few challenges to your ideas you run into, or else will find others giving you all the details of

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Why I Love Christmas

Strong memories have attached to how I see holidays, so perhaps this is why Christmas means the very most to me. Growing up, with a Dad in the military, we moved all the time. I learned early to root nowhere outside myself, just root inside, because everything would change again in a year or so. But, if we were ever going to go see my paternal kin back in Michigan, it would be near Christmas. That was sort of like home to me, at least it was a place I returned to a few times, and had friends who

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Kundalini Rising: Seven Months

It has been a while since I last wrote about my Kundalini adventure, which started over six months ago. Before writing this, I went back and read over what I have written about it before, and the one thing that stood out to me is how very much change has been going on since those posts were written. They seem as if I wrote them a lot longer ago.  Daily, I read on the forum I met my mentor at, to learn from the experiences of others. By far, most talk about physical manifestations and issues

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

The Occult's Ugly Wall, part 2

For some reason, I am having a devil of a time posting this part, which actually was written in a single flow at the end of the first part, so I am rewriting the whole thing. Spirit wants something else covered in here, apparently.  You have hit a wall, things are going wrong for you enough that you are thinking it is spiritual in cause. You may be having bad dreams, you might be seeing figures running around or leaning over you. Perhaps it is grays or reptiloids or the Hat Man slinking aro

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

The Occult's Ugly Wall, part 1

I was asked on Facebook to expand on a comment I made recently about "hitting The Wall" reference the paranormal arena and exploring the same. Overnight, I mulled this over and even dreamed about it - which made me laugh even inside the dream to realize what I was doing. It will help you to read an earlier post I wrote here, "So You Want To Learn About The Occult". I reread that today and am going to build on that more than repeat myself. In hindsight, the Occult and the inner psychology of

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

The Point: Transformation

In a few months, I will hit the big six-oh, much to my astonishment. I always expected to die real young and if you knew me, you would understand why. I always had a wide (think skunk stripe LOL) streak in me of The Fool of tarot fame, that blend of naïve and fearlessness that can lead to almost anywhere and any ending of a story. But, for me there was only ever one Goal for all of my adventuring into the spiritual world and pursuit of "why" and "god?". I wanted to find out The Truth, and I was

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Past Life Recall? Trouble Part 3

LMAO, Yes, Mom enjoyed Mass, thanks for asking. You know who you are. ______________________________________ Like my "reward" of being allowed to remember a small amount of my previous life, and actually walk a street and see some of my kin from that lifetime, before walking on, I think some real memories are allowed, even planned for, when we can process both sides of the issue. This can also be a problem if we deal with it wrongly.  I was Native American a few lives ago. I know

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Past Life Recall? Trouble Part 2

So, where can trouble come into the equation when speaking of past life memories and the natural curiosity of people to want to know what lives they lived before, if any of it is even true?  Why, if these really are lives you lived at one time, would the "System" blank your mind out about any of them? Here are the main reasons: 1. You are working out a past issue with someone else and for it to go well, neither of you need to know about that previous relationship right now. 2. The

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Past Life Recall? Trouble Part 1

Recently, I enjoyed a wonderful conversation with an old, very knowledgeable friend, on the subject of reincarnation and past life memory. Like me, he is often asked questions about aspects of the esoteric and our discussions began with him sharing a post from someone asking why, if reincarnation is true, did this person not have any past life memories. Suffice it to say we have fun talking about reincarnation in general with each other before he went back to his inbox and I went to my own. But,

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

About Drugs and "Enlightenment"

I had been in the hike to learn all I can about the paranormal and transformative spirituality my entire life. Soon into it I was helping other people along the way and getting the occasional help and insight myself. The really active years once I escaped the house to college were in the 70's and drugs were everywhere, then. Lots of dope and alcohol, and not yet any awareness, if at all, about the hazards.  An allergic reaction to it kept me away from pot. I am better than a drug dog when a

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Karma, The Big Wheel, pt 2

Like the Karma concept, this topic is coming around again on me. I got a few questions after posting the first part of this, which I expected to stay a one post topic, so I am expanding on what I am talking about a bit to answer those questions. Some time ago, I started listening to channelings done by Lee Carroll of Kryon. I never have thought much of channels I have heard before over the years. It is always weird and doom and gloom and if it is of a historical person, they never seem to t

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Karma, The Big Wheel

When it is time to write a new post I look for synchronicities when deciding what to write about. Lately, it has been karma, The Wheel in tarot, and how bogged down we can become in life and circumstances and feel as if nothing will really change. It can be as if we simply spin our wheels and bog down more in the experience of our life. I grew up with this idea under it all, the constant adage that what goes around comes around, you reap what you sow. But, you know what? It never seemed to

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Kundalini Rising: Month Two Plus

Just noticed it has been over two months, now, closer to three, really, since I unexpectedly experienced an awakening of Kundalini. It seems a good time to post an update about it and some of what I have learned over the past time of living with it. I knew nothing about this until it happened, but, was no stranger to sensing things or seeing things or working with energy. Years ago I got all my Reiki Mastery attunements just to see what that was all about, was a Pentecostal Christian for so

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Belief: Finding Your Own Path 6

How we see "god" varies among religions out there and there is somewhere for almost anyone. Atheism embraces the belief that nothing supports there even being a god, so there is no god at all. Mainstream Christianity is defined by their belief in Jesus as the Son of God who manifested in the flesh and incarnated to bring God's love to life to the world through His actions and words. After His death and subsequent resurrection, a religion arose, principally through the efforts of Saint Paul,

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Belief: Finding Your Own Path 5

The question of God. Is there a god? If there is, what is god like? This may be second, as questions go, only to the question of why are we here? Most of us have wondered these things to some degree in our life. What is it all about? Religion is man's effort to answer this sort of question. If you look at the array of religions out there and choose one that feels like a good fit for you, it should be alright, as long as you remember what it is and what it is not. It is man's effort that cre

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Belief: Finding Your Own Path 4

There are other questions to answer for yourself in this quest. I am looking over my notes and really, it comes to me that the process of answering these things is a part of your path work in itself. On one hand, most you can answer quickly enough, but, these things change over time, with experience. That can cause shifts for you in your own inner realities. I was born in 1959, I was one of those hippies in the 70s. You know, the groovy, peace, soul mate believing crowd in bell bottoms and long

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Belief: Finding Your Own Path 3

"But, I want the right religion, Not A Rockstar. I want the true one." The answer to that question depends on who you ask. Back when I wrestled with this question, haunted by my Grand parents' Pentecostal Fundamentalism, there was a couple things I knew at that point. First and foremost, I really loved God and Jesus. That was not in question. Two, I doubted everything else, especially religions, and in the end, imagining myself answering to God face to face for the decisions I made in life,

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar

 

Belief: Finding Your Own Path 2

By now, you have your listing of truths you believe are always true. It may be real long, or it might only have one or two things on it.  This needs to be your first yardstick, or ruler, to evaluate other ideas of religions for yourself. Let us say that you have three items on your list: you wrote down:        1. There is a God/dess        2. Abusing animals is wrong        3. Dancing makes me happy. This is your list and you decide that African Religions seem interestin

Not A Rockstar

Not A Rockstar