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The Cold Zone

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About this blog

Frozen throught and freezing ramblings

Entries in this blog

The Um bible... revisited.

This deserves to be re-bumped. Chapter 1 - Generic. 1 In the beginning Saruman created the website and the forums. 2 Now UM was [a] formless and empty, blankness was over the surface, and the coding of Saruman was hovering over the internet. 3 And Saruman said, "Let there be daz," and there was Daz. 4 Saruman saw that the unsolved was good, and he separated the unsolved from the solved. 5 Saruman called the unsolved "mysteries," and the solved he called "not my

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What goes up... must be anti-gravitational

Well... thought I better post an update so nobody can read what I have been up to, but at least they choose not to do so. My blog is a democracy, with only brief moments of facism... Anyhow.... I haven't done to much since my last update that I know of. Got a new job working in a jobcentre of all places.... Yes, I'm a civil ser vent very shortly. At least the moneys good. Other then that I spend more and more time relaxing on my xbox, or doing random things with Thistle. Hope all is wel

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Back away slowly, or the lemming gets it....

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking... did that heading contain 11 syllables or 12. Well, to tell you the truth in all the confusion I kinda lost count myself.... so ask yourself one question... do you feel lucky? Ok, fine.. you don't care about the syllables. I am just trying to be entertaining, I had a mime in here before and he just stunk up the place. I don't get the chance to fill this blog with its former glory..... I just went through my history and all I can say is....

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Runaway cheesewhiz

Ok, so the title might not have anything to do with this blog, but hey.... At least its not some sort of advertising.... I thought I might update this mindless blog, since I havent done so for a few months. I have done nothing but work seemingly since my last entry. The good news is I shall hopefully (along with thistle) be heading home for a couple of weeks in november this year, which should be great. On the minus side.... Jetlag. I think I just got over my jet lag from 2 and a half

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This is not for snowy

This blog is not for snowy, no indeed it is not. It is not to be discussing her in any fashion, nor will it mention ice cream, pink fluffy things, shiny things, edwin or running nakkee. ... On second thoughts that last ones ok.

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History....

UM has a history... a deep dark history. Etched on a cave wall somewhere is the only place one can learn about the troubled past of this forum. But, I the teacher, will indeed give a lesson today. You may turn the page now. Once aupon a time, there was a forum that functioned totally normally. Little did it know, that it would see such violence and raw explosive energy Quinten Tarrantino would have censored it. This was because, three great energies were about to collide... and the f

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Exciting name, that makes you want to read....

I realised I hadn't made one of these in quite some time, in fact such a long time scientists have found remnants of one of previous blogs and are making assumptions on the way I lived based on their findings. I am hoping they'll find I was rich.... Anyhow, I have neglected you lovely people long enough... what with work, computer course... and an xbox... I don't spend as much time on here as I should do. I propose we make the days longer... Think about it, we get more sleep... and its exc

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The Return... UM Bible part 18

1. Saruman appeared to Subtemperate near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. This shocked Subtemperate, as the restraining order clearly said he could not come within 30 feet. 2. Subtemperate looked up and saw three men standing nearby. This would come to no surprise, because men do often stand. However, Subtemperate did hope that they would bring gold franken.... francken.... other stuff. Unluckily all they brought him were

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Hmmmm...

You know what I realised today... I have spent far too long not posting on Um. I know, you'll see my post count and call me a liar But I must have reached 9000 about a year back at least now lol..... There are so many people who wouldn't know me from a hole in the wall... though the distinct difference is I'm only on the wall for a few hours a day.... Yes they are padded... why do you ask? Anyhow.... I have decided its time to reaquaint myself in this place.... Spread that madness once

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I like weird things...

I like weird things.... So sue me.... Like this Song by Tripod.... Yon: And we're studying the whole phenomenon of prefixes - you know, words with little words on the front of them, like "in" or "un" or "ex". And the interesting thing is, a lot of the words that have prefixes on them seem to... well, once they have the prefix, seem to be the opposite of words that don't even seem to exist, for example, "incessant", take the "in" off that and you've got "cessant". "I'm too cessant for my car"

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advertising.... bah humbug!

I am writing here to put into words my disgrace with the absolute stupidity that is being played over the speakers at morrisons at the moment. "Your cat is an individual, so shouldn't his food suit him...... So if he is active, he should eat this... if not... that" Yeah...thats REAL indidualistic. You just HALVED the options you twits. ....Not to mention is says "if hes active... and if SHE lazes around all day" lol Sometimes I want to slap people who have silly ideas.

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Dear Sir,

To whom it may concern. I had a rough night last night, too many drinks to count.... I hardly slept with the swimming in my head. I have a massive hangover.... So when I answer the door naked at 9am to a Jehovahs witness... expect me to tell you where it is you can go. That is all.

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UM Bible Part 10

Passage Generic 10 : Generic 10 The Table of Attention whores 1 This is the account of every attention whore I can think of, and even some I couldn't think of who pestered me for their note. 2 The main offenders: Moe of Yak. He is quite the character, as has been previously mentioned. Lets just say that if he got stranded on a desert island he'd have enough company by himself. Snuffy, a man who when he reaches 50 is bound to have a webcam and mirror named after h

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UM Bible part 16

[1] Now Snowbaby, Subby's twin sister 19 days removed, bore him no children. This was a relief for all concerned, in fact after they were born god broke their moulds on purpose; [2] And Saruman said to Kismit, "Baaa... baaa baaa baaaaaaaaaa." And Kismit nodded to the voice of Saruman, as it was very rythmical. Soon it was pointed out to saruman, he acutally said "I ate your father"in sheep, and there was much sadness.. and mint sauce. [3] So, after Moe had dwelt ten years in the land

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I just feel like writing...

"That story's completely stupid." My little brother always had a way with getting right to the point. "Stupid? Why is it stupid?" "Why?" The sarcastic "I can't believe you asked such a question" tone in his voice was all too obvious. "Because its about 3 goats crossing a bridge. It doesn't even say WHY they needed to cross the bridge, it says the have to cross the bridge... and thats all. Why did they need to go? What is so damn important that they risk getting eaten by a fl

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This is too serious for me, but bleh...

You've lied to me for the last time I can't let this one go past You carry on, pretending everythings fine Its an act, and its not going to last Why do you feel the need To push us all away Not allowing your own sense of humanity to feed on the love of others within your stay You pretend you don't bleed like your heart is made of stone But all everyone else does read Is that your hurt, and your alone Not every tear rolls from your eyes Not every scream is a vocal cry

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I am not the walrus

Admit it... You have been waiting for this blog to appear. You looked in the list, and as soon as you saw this name pop up... You couldn't wait to go in and see what jive stories I would be telling. Well, I for one am ashmaed at your presumptions. What if I had a very un-jive like story to tell.... did you consider this? Do you ever think about my feelings? Anyhow... Enough of the dazzling repetoire..... I noticed I hadn't posted in here for about 4 months. I also noticed nobody co

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Musical Mix Up!

Hey.... Ive often looked at music in musicals, and found its hard to imagine different types of music, or styles of song from other musicals.... within the same context... so I thought I would, since I have time on my hands, see what I could come up with lol This is the song "Summer nights" from grease, being pushed into Oliver the musical... lol Oliver to Grease Oliver: Homeless orphan, Out on my ass Dodger: Homeless Orphan, Learn to steal fast Oliver: I got kicked out, asking for mor

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UM Bible Part 17

[1] When Snowy was (number removed for fear of woman killing me) years old Saruman appeared to her, and said, "I am Saruman Almighty; walk before me, and be blameless." And Snowwy did walk before him, and got pelted with tomatos. This ended Saruman's operation Snowy-human shield. [2] He said to console her "I will make my covenant between me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly." This was rather a lame pick up line, and Snowy did poke him with a frozen carrot. [3] Then UA fell

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Um Bible part 14

Generic 14 UM Rescues Dot 1 At this time Dot, Xbox queen, became addicted to inline gaming. [a] At work she was often seen trying to press a B button to cancel her work, and was often heard to call her boss "Stupid noob". After sticking a plasma grenade to one of her co-workers backs, it was time she got help. They tried to tie her up, but there was no rope small enough. It was found Dot had become possessed by the devil, which we all thought made her a little less evil. 3 A thr

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UM Bible part 9

Genesis 9 And things continued 1 At this point Saruman's power was at its peak. So much so, Scottish Power and Energy did syphon from him with jumper leads. Saruman did bless the mods, and they turned blue, then he blessed the debate organisers and they did turn purple. Finally he blessed the debate judges and they turned green.... Which was not so much a trick, as an effect of Saruman blessing them with garlic breath. 2 Saruman procalimed "The fear and dread of you will fall u

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Spreading love...

Its 1 o'clock at night as I sit and write this poem and second line in, I could not tell you where its going im not an expert at even my own poetry you see But that is not all that I cannot claim to be Im not a king, who can offer you a throne And as an entertainer, im not even a madonna cone I can't claim to be a scientist, and have theories and experiments I am not the be all and end all of all human intelligence Im not a famous athlete, with a million dollar leg When it coes

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UM Bible Part 15

Generic .15 Change of structure. [1] After these things the word of Saruman came to Snowy in a vision, "Fear not, Snowy, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great." Snowy did think this was kinda odd, as she was just wanting to paint her nails. Saruman is proving to be quite over the top. [2] So Snowy said, "O saruman, what wilt thou give me" "Huh?" was sarumans reply, for he was busy upgrading the server at this point. "You heard me O mighty Woo Woo, or in case not plea

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