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newbloodmoon

So I use a music streaming site, I won’t name it but it’s been around a while and yes it is a legal streaming site.

I enjoy a very wide variety of music that includes classical (Bach, Motzart, Beetoven etc), 80’s butt rock (don’t ask), 60’s and 70’s rock, Blues, chinese opera, dubstep, industrial, goth, etc. Now the problem is on every channel but one they have recommendations based on the artists I have choosen fairley well. They might be songs that I don’t necessarily like but based on the artists it makes sense.

Their is only one channel that it seems they can’t get right in order to save lives.  That is my goth channel. I have artists in their like Bahaus, Siouxie and the Banshees, Sisters of Mercy, London After Midnight, Eva O, Gitane Demone, to name a few. Some of the most common “recommendations” are Christian Folk music, Country, and a couple other giant record scratches in the sky.  It boggles my mind that with a couple dozen artists to choose from as far as recommendations go, they pick those genres.

maybe I should just go play Indian Leg Wrestling with a Yeti. That would be less stressful.

newbloodmoon

So I decided to take a wee break as opposed to a pee break and drop on in for brain shake.  So I have been working on a writing project for the last (20+ years now) and I am finally happy with the way it’s turning out. Sometimes it drives me bonkers when I get hyper critical about whatever project I am working on.  It’s not so much about being worried about what others think because theit will always be people who don’t like your expression on any sort of art form.

other times I can pop out a series of short stories, edit them, do minor revisions, and then wam bam thank you... well any way you know what I mean. I had a creative writing teacher in highschool that would get so p***ed at me because I would chill in class until there eas only 15 minutes left in class and poo out a story.  Sometimes I would be in that Zen moment and other times I was meh and it reflected in my stories.

So what’s the lesson of this blog spot.... Hmmm let me think.

 

oh yea here we go, okay guys don’t forget to be a gentleman at the end of the night so suck it up and sleep in the wet spot.

newbloodmoon

Remembering the safe word/phrase

I have a super power.  That’s right a bonafide super power, and some people can’t stand it.  Please let me explain.

I was out having a bite at a local sub sandwich shop and I was chating with one of the employees as I am a semi regular customer. Anyway i said something fairly snarky and another customer laughed as the were sucking down a soda. Needless to say but yep it came back pout the nose. The employee asked if they were okay etc and they said ya but went into the bathroom to clean up a bit.

I said that was my super power to get people to launch liquids out their nose, but I can’t be looking at them. The employee looked sceptacle but my wife jumped in and said that she has seen me do it before and that she has fallen victim too it at least 4-5 times a year.

the best was a table full of people at a bar, one because of what I said and 2 others in response to the first. Once almost got a friend to set himself on fire. Got him to laugh while drinking scotch. Left nose into campfire, fire flairs up and he launches back. Like a good Scot, doesn’t spill a drop.

So better rmember the safe phrase anf hope I am not n the same bar with you while my backs turned cause you will feel the burn.

newbloodmoon

Never sizzle bacon in the nude

With a title like that it should be obvious but you might be surprised. Oh wait you wanted an anidotical story to go with that? Well I personally have never done that, not much for cooking while watching “free willey”. Who would be really, other than a masochist.  There other hobbies I have that are much less likely to put me on a Darwins list.

I used to do weird things when I was youn.... scratch that, I still do weird things but they aren’t super cringe worthy. Unless you count watching asian films because I find them to be a hell of a lot better than what Hollywood has to offer.  I do have to admit I have been geeking out on the MCU. (Bacon)

Cooking bacon on a open camp fire can be awesome, just use one of those wire fish cooky things.  I believe that’s the proper term. “So you’re not feeling well after a nights worth of drinking? How ‘bout some bacon, you’ll feel better in no time.” Damnit Jim Gaffigan just showed up to my home with a box of hot pockets. Gotta run.

newbloodmoon

If and when aliens come to earth hopeing for a good deal at our global yard sale, they should be greated by Weird Al.  How great would that be? The great polka comedian as our ambassador.

We couldn’t have William Shatner he would just date the hot one, Bill Cosby? Can we say roofies kids? Of course we can.  Dr. Demento could be the mc but not kanye west, auto tune would probably be the intergalactic middle finger and then Zappo we would be exterminated.

Thinking about Daleks, no pepper pots aloud. Terry Nation might have been given the Dalek plans by aliens themselves.  If this were the case not even Weird Al and the sweet caress of his accordian could save us.

Could squirrels lay eggs? If they could they would probably be poisonous.

newbloodmoon

Okay so I know that it’s been a while since my last post, I do sometimes forget as I do a hell of a lot of writing in my non plugged in to the interwebs life. So one might ask what does this U.M. Weirdo write about? Well that’s a good question. I am currently working on a series of short stories for some horror serials, as well as some high fantasy sword and sorcery stuff.

I have some dr. Who fan fiction (sorry newer whovians, I mostly write stories about doctors 1-7), perhaps I might post some of that as it’s just fan fiction and I am not under contract obligation to the BBC (who owns the  rights to the Who franchise). Don’t wanna get sued so had to throw that part in.

my weird stuff  is generally well received here so I will always throw a bit of that in as well, such as my demented children stories. One of which is called Billy the Bee who does what bees do and that is sting people etc. So never let a yeti piddle in your spaghetti kids, not only do you get unwanted hairs you have to explain to the dentist but the pee isn’t all that great either.  So on that note I tap my “Rabid Wombat” And run to the hills.

Have a good wharzombleu and keep those spatulas off of the floor, tata for now.

newbloodmoon

Helloween, not hello kitty!

So Haloween is my absolute favorite of all time holiday. It's not just the candy, horror films, or scantily clad revilers (above the legal age of course). It seems that ithis is the time of year when when even the weirdness is weirder than usual.

During the summer months, high weirdness gets blamed on the heat, in the autumn it is blamed on the thinning of the veil or the ever increasing darkness as we march to wimter.  Lets just keep things weird, that's all.  So here are a few Haloween movie recommendations in no particular order.

exorcist

dog soldiers

bad moon

the birds

mama

psycho

any classic universal monster movie (wolfman, dracula, frakenstein etc)

dracula untold

and a few good tv series would include

American horror story (any season)

penny dreadful

grimm

sleepy hollow

supernatural

I am sure I have missed someones favorite, it happens. Of course for those with children, some of these suggestions would be inappropriate. But that's up to the discretion of the parenting unit.

newbloodmoon

Hey youz guys! A ghostly quandry

So I was talking to a couple of siblings today about ghosties and stuff. Part of that discussion was about how kids see things that go bump in the night easier because they haven't had rhe real world crammed down their gobs yet.  Perhaps it's a little different these days since electronics are so prevalent these days that maybe ghosts have to work that much harder to get noticed.

I wonder what a spirit would have to do to pry someones eyes from their smart phone as the played pokemon go. Perhaps they could do a ghostly strip tease, with all the videos out their of stripper pole fails, maybe the ghosts are causing those flubs.

With devices like the popular spirit box, maybe it would be easier for the dead to commune with the living. Perhaps the games people play on their phones are inspired by evil ghost overlords looking to pad their kingdoms with people who don't pay attention to their surroundings as they are immersed in their pokeporn.

Just a few thoughts.

newbloodmoon

Something to think about.

Since humans like to visit the woods to relax and recreate do bigfoot go to the city? If they did would they put on a human suit? After all humans put on monkey suits and act like primates for laughs and giggles.

Can you imagine a bigfoot at the outdoor bigfoot comedy club doing their routine in a human suit.  They would open with "you know Gurtok I don't really believe in humans.  All you have for proof is some fuzzy pictures and foot casts, humans don't seem to have toes, how weird is that?" (Club erupts with sasqutch hoots hollars and screams).

Don't you think Beezlebub should get into the tractor buisness?  He is allready the lord of flies, flies are attracted to manuere, which in turn is used as fertalizer.  Hmmm if he did that then he would have to wear coveralls and rename himself Bezzlebubba lord of tractor demons. (Gag first seen in a newspaper comic, non sequiter I think??)

Anyway these are some things to think about.

newbloodmoon

Happy insurrection day.

Recently the Brexit vote had passed by popular vote, today the U.S. Celebrates their Amerexit.  In the movie Independence day 2 the world will give another right rowdy send off to space aliens.

All this shuffling around and exits from this and that I am reminded of a very important saying. "Never trust a bow legged, albino, reticulated, python. They will smooth bite your face off like a rabid monkey barbarion with mange and a flea infestation."

Have fun, be safe, and stay off the drapes.

newbloodmoon

Sir, there's a finger in my soup!

I remember a time in highschool, I was in biology and we were having a pop quiz that day.  Roughly 5 minutes in to the quiz some one started saying out loud "bum bum bum bum bum" followed by some one across the room belting out "Flash!", and the whole class sang out "ohh oh, savior of the universe!"

needless to say the teacher stopped the test and told us that we passed, merely because they liked that film.  So thank you Flash Gordon, you helped me pass a biology pop quiz.  The lesson of today is thus, random acts of weirdness goes a long way... Unless you're getting a psych evaluation that's been mandated by the court system.  Venasualen beaver cheese?

newbloodmoon

A time honored tradition

Story telling has always been a time honored tradition.  I always enjoyed listening to the story my uncle would tell about how he was killed by the elusive giant tree weasle while off in the jungles hunting pygmy mosquitos. Of course when I questioned the validity of above said story my uncle would angry and possess my pet goldfish named hermes and make it jump out of his bowl to get eaten by the cat.

Another story I enjoyed was the one I heard about some time back.... I honestly don't remember the name or who even told me that story but it left a deep impression on me obviously.

newbloodmoon

Don't follow the leader, be the leader..

Erm gosh nabbit, now for something inspirational with a title like that.  I suppose it's acceptable to follow if the view is desirable, or perhaps you don't have the motivation to be a leader. Types of motivation could be a pack of wild dingos attempting to nab the baby srapled to your butt.  I don't recommend this as dingos are deadly poisonous, one look at them and you drop dead.  There are only two known antidotes for dingo poisoning, one is being a naturally born citizen of Australia, the second is to be completely liquored up on fosters.  Yet I digress.

Another way to be a leader is to be.... Um, I guess I don't know.  If you do, keepup the good work and spread the word.

newbloodmoon

The Mystery of Cat Flatulence

Interesting title is it not? I mean that's why you are here really. It's okay, I won't tell anyone if you are secretly enamored with cat farts, or the mysteries in them. Actually there is no real mystery to a cat fart. Much like any animal, diet, and how much air you actually swallow in the course of a meal will determine whether or not you fart. Farting can be fun, unless you are on the receiving end of the green death bomb from Uranus. This actual blog has no real purpose really, other then to wonder how many people are gonna come and take a peek.

Lets name the different kinds of farts, and their deliveries shall we?

Crud Vapours.

Poo Gas.

Fart.

Flatulence.

Silent but deadly.

Dutch Oven.

Crop Dusting.

Green Death.

newbloodmoon

Aura Protections Part One

I have read various accounts of people using Auras to protect themselves. One of the best descriptions of this I had found in the book "Grimoire for The Apprentice Wizard" By Oberon Zell. It is written with younger audiences in mind (junior and senior high school) but the teachings apply to any and all who wish to learn the craft. It is there for all of us if you open yourself up to the possibilities to working magick. I had developed a method that was completely different from the one in the book, yet I believe it to be equally effective. In other words it has worked extremely well for me.

For those who have never done Aura work, it can be accomplished by yourself or with a friend. You must practice visualizing either your own (looking in a mirror could help) or a friends. Once you feel comfortable that you can see them (don't worry about colors of the aura yet unless you plan on doing healing work which is different then what I am about to teach) Now you can either visualize your aura as a shield to protect you all the way around or like a martial artist you can bring up tiny shields to protect you.

Now if you have a friend to help you out this is all the better. You close your eyes, and take a couple deep breaths to calm yourself and get into the right frame of mind. You simply nod your head to your friend who then attempts to lightly thump you (imagine getting flicked with a finger). Your friend projects his aura to lightly tap you and he tells you where he is doing it. You first do this in general terms such as, front, back, right, left, above, below etc. You then project your aura up like a shield and visualize in your minds eye to blocking thes psychic attacks (hence why you use a friend who isn't going to try to hurt you). As soon as the attack is blocked you let your defenses down.

Over time you will be able to go faster and faster. If you don't have a partner to work with then it is simply a matter of recording your voice. To better help visualize this attack I have often used 2 sticks to hit together. So the recording would sound something like this. "Front" (clack), pause, "Front" (Clack), pause, "Back" (clack)...... and so forth. Then of course you could change it up so you truely don't know where these pseudo attacks are coming from and when.

Once you have begun mastering this technique you can then alter the protections to partially attack as well. Much like a porcupine has quills, though he can't launch them at you if you're dumb enough to stick your face in his **** you will get a face full.

newbloodmoon

Busier then a Beaver in an Unclogged Creek

Well I have been taking some time off from writing in the forums as of late and have been rather busy. I have been summoned for Jury duty which sucks munchkins but my attempts to get out of it has failed. Hopefully that won't tear me away too much from here, well at least more then necessary. I have started re-reading the Wheel of Time series, written by Robert Jordan, the last and final book will be released some time this fall for those who might enjoy the series. Yes the beloved author has passed away, so you might be asking how it is possible to have written the book. Well if you go to www.dragonmount.com they will have the answers to the questions that might be roaming around in your mind. I don't know much about the gentleman who has been tapped to finish writing the book, beyond the snippets I had read but I hope he does the book justice.

I have also been doing some rather intense study on the magickal arts as of late which has also taken a large portion of my time. Well that and work of course. I plan on taking some Magickal courses soon, or at least sometime in the future. I am always looking to improve my abilities, I have always been curios as well about how other people do things to obtain the same objective. This is part of the reason I will be taking some classes. That and I always feel it is important to expand your horizons.

I hope this will leave me some time to visit here as well. Time to go and check the forums for any possible postings.

newbloodmoon

Demon summoning posts.

I have noticed lately a rash of demon summoning, or demon possession posts recently. Evil entities have a rich tradition in several cultures. In Christianity there are the fallen angels, demons, devils, and nephalim. Islam has the Djinns, Buddhists have demons, Nordic traditions have the giants, and Loki etc. Voudoun has a rich tradition of practitioners being possessed by unseen beings that give them various powers. Now I do realize there are those on this site that do know a deal about these creatures and whether they exist, depends on the individual and their faith.

There are those who without a shadow of a doubt believe these creatures exist and exact punishments on the human race according to God's or some great divines will. Yet others here state that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they do not exist and they are simply creatures of story to make people behave along with the moral majority. There are those on both sides who can site, either scripture or science to support their claims that these creatures either do or do not exist. Who's to be believed one might wonder.

I am not writing this to convince one side or the other that they may be right or wrong and to believe as I believe. I will write down what I do believe though. I believe there are various entities that are capable of doing great good and great evil. Are these Angels and or demons? I can't really say for sure, who's to say that they even exist. How many people have really seen them? Yet there are those who believe you don't need to see them in order for them to exist. We can't see air and yet we know through science the oxygen is made up of molecules and it is essential for our survival. Now I know there are skeptics out there and if they happen to read this they will think I am a raving loon for comparing fantastical creatures with hard science. Am I a raving loon? Will people dismiss this out of hand because they "know" what is and what isn't? Of course there will be.

I have seen some things that are beyond my capability to explain, and of course if I mention them then people will demand I show proof. I have been to a couple exorcisms, merely as an observer to ensure that as someone who doesn't have a vested interest in any of the parties that people don't get hurt. This doesn't always occur around the world I know, but I will mention one case in particular that I had as I said witnessed with my own eyes. A young girl at the time (preteen) who has a moderate case of downs syndrome was acting in a way that didn't seem normal. The parents did what any reasonable parent would do and had taken her to a few medical professionals as well as a psychiatrist. Some of the exhibited behavior was an increase in foul language, the parents had asked around to see if perhaps she had learned those words at school and was merely repeating them. Other students in the school couldn't ever remember her using these words before but it is possible some had said that she had picked up on them and not knowing they where "bad" words was just repeating them. She was also talking what at first seemed to be gibberish. They had taped their daughter and at the request of a friend had taken it to a linguist at a university. Some of it was merely gibberish as they had thought but Latin was recognizable when she was speaking clearly. They sought help from another medical doctor to get some tests done to see if she was having any unusual brain activities. All tests had come back negative, so they consulted their local priest. The priest was reluctant to help, not because he felt that she did not warrant needing help but if something happened to her during an exorcism due to her condition then he would me more likely to be defrocked and thrown in jail.

The parents convinced him as her condition worsened that they wanted to get an exorcism done and he finally agreed. They had the priest and an assistant there performing the exorcism, a medical doctor to ensure that the girl was not hurt, the parents, and myself to act as an independent witness that would report what I had seen without bias or favor to any of the parties. The overall exorcism had taken 4 1/2 to 5 hours approximately with 2 follow up meetings that I had to attend to make sure that she was truly free of these dark entities. I won't get into any more detail about what I had seen to protect the family, hence why I won't provide any names, or places that this had taken place. If it involved someone who had full capacity in their faculties then I would be more inclined to share more with their permission. What I had witnessed though was a girl who had very little understanding of much of anything spout off Latin, (which was confirmed by a college professor remember) show bouts of great strength as well as blaspheme the catholic church. Now if she didn't have downs syndrome then I would be inclined to believe that she may have been putting on a hoax, or at least i would have looked deeper into the possibility of a hoax. So in my opinion, does Possession happen? Yes it does.

For those who wish to summon, contact, be possessed or oppressed by a demon then like the saying goes, buyer beware. Regardless of whether the entity is good or evil, their agenda may not coincide with our own. Their views on what may be right or wrong could be the exact opposite of our own. They could even believe that since you had contacted them, that they may have every right to inhabit your earthly vessel to do with as they please.

newbloodmoon

Haiku IV

On this round of the Haiku hoedown, had to start with one that I wrote with an actual UM member in mind. That and I was watching some old He-Man episodes and inspiration hit.

Princess of power

Is saving the universe

All praise to She-ra

Edgar Allen Poe

Writer of fine poetry

And scary stories

Lost in woods at night

Wolves howling at the full moon

Striking fear in hearts

She’s the Shooting Nun...

Opposed to the flying Nun,

Avengers of God

Symphony of doom

Played during scary movie

Helps set the dark mood

Leggo my Eggo

So I have food on the brain

It's early morning

Butter, jam and toast

Side of eggs and bacon too

Love drinking orange juice

Ancient book of spells

Mummy King resurrected

Your life is forfeit

Sitting in outhouse

Hearing all the forest noise

And no more TP

Manifestations

Of haunted variety

Get your camera now

Seeing Grandma nude

A truly horrific site

I don't want to see

Falling down the stairs

Landing on my melon head

Better tie my shoes

Glory to dark lord

And all his evil minions

They will eat your soul

Tiny Tim is short

Big Bertha is a giant

Some are in between

Jumping on the bed

Making simian noises

This is monkey love

Loose change does jingle

From deep within my pocket

It's my bum magnet

Shadow ninjas hide

As the Samurai walk by

Striking from behind

None shall pass black knight

Or get hacked to tiny bits

Spurting blood from wounds

Pull out the big guns

We will be shooting rabbits

The man killing kind

Sun Tsu's art of war

Teaches you about warfare

Even used today

Jumping and Jiving

Shaking mad legs to music

Feeling the fever

Harbingers of doom

Beady little eyes watching

Ravens caw for you

Roving packs of hounds

Coming out from Baskerville

Such dark hellish dogs

Fairy rings of shrooms

Dancing round them by the moon

Please don't eat the food.

Goblins crushing bones

Trolls sucking out your marrow

Dragons burning you

Droids aren't welcome here

Belts the surly bar tender

The two wait outside

Time to make Haiku

This is my sorry attempt

Ti's another done

The beauty of love

Befuddled with some hormones

Babies are then made

Dark gloomy Sundays

Horrors reap their dark terror

Fishy Cthulu

Meet my little friend

A midget in his clown pants

Fears the dank sewers

Just like John Denver

Flying drunk into mountains

Except I survived

Scorpion King two

Sucked so bad it really blew

My movie review

Shaking of the dice

Blowing on them for good luck

Hope I don't crap out.

Creepy crawlies come

Crawling in your mouth at night

Laying eggs in ears

Laughing to the bank

Counting my untold fortune

Then market crashes

newbloodmoon

Finding Bigfoot on a Ghost Hunt

Now some time ago around 4 years ago, a friend of mine as well as his girlfriend at the time decided to go to the local hot spots for "ghost" activity. There is a place affectionately called Bills Bench in the extreme south of town which is foothills and forest. As the legend goes, Bill was a homeless guy that would come to this bench and hang out to pass the time. When he passed away his ghost still from time to time is reported to have been seen sitting on his bench.

So anyway we drove up to the spot and myself and the "girlfriend" got out of the van first, there was a dog barking in the distance but not getting closer so no worries there. I did hear what I thought to be a low short growl. (the dog was far away so it wasn't him) I had asked the "girlfriend" if she had heard it as well, she freaked out and went back into the van as she said she hadn't heard anything. So my friend and I had the flash lights out, as well as cameras merrily taking pictures when we heard something walking about in the woods roughly 20 yards to our right and it sounded bipedal (on two feet). My friend quickly shown his flashlight to that area and we started looking but it has stopped and we assumed it was our imaginations running wild (being in the dark looking for ghosts mind you).

Then once again I had heard the short growl, and this time my friend had as well so once again we had the lights scanning the area in which we heard the sound. As he passed the light by this one spot near a tree I saw something tall and shaggy but he missed it and kept scanning. In my excitement I kept trying to tell him the spot where to point the flashlight but couldn't much articulate in the heat of the moment beyond "ooh ooh shine your light there, no there"

I had finally given him my camera and had taken the more powerful flashlight and started walking over there. We were both thinking "Bigfoot" and how famous and rich we were going to be as he had gotten pictures of me either being mauled by a Bigfoot or at least a side by side comparison of the elusive creature. I bravely walked closer (or stupidly) and when I got to a certain point where there was a fence I started to laugh my **** off. What we had hear walking, growling, and the shaggy 'fur' coat was an emu. Apparently they can make growling type noises. So in a sense we did find a "Bigfoot" it was just of the bird variety and not of the great man ape variety.

newbloodmoon

Spooky things that go bump in the night.

Okay so in my main page I state that I have a bit of an obsession concerning things that go bump in the night. Hence why I like to visit this site as much as I do. Now I know there are quite a few people that come here (to U.M. in general) that are skeptic about a great many things. Now a strong dose of skepticism is very important when covering these subjects discussed here. I have noticed that often times people state that they don't believe in something and thus it does not exist... Fine if you don't believe in something, state your reasoning for not believing and site any references to back up your reasoning. I may not agree with someone who say does not believe in Magic, Demons, or Cryptids, but I at least will go out on a limb and state why I believe in it and site what I believe to be evidence to support my view.

For instance Bigfoot - I think the Patterson film is strong evidence in favor of the creature. I haven't heard any convincing argument stating the contrary of this "evidence". If there is one day contrary evidence against the Patterson film that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt then I will take it into consideration.

Another example is Demons. You don't have to be Christian, Muslim, or Jewish to believe in demons. There are many cultures that believe in some sort of malevolent force out there. For Christians and Hebrews it's Satan and his fallen angels (demons), Muslims it's Shaytan and the Djinns (their version of fallen angels who would not bow down to Gods creation), Even Buddhists believe in demons. So here is another demon of the day.

Pazuzu (one of my favorites)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

In Sumerian and Akkadian mythology Pazuzu was the king of the demons of wind, and son of the god Hanbi. For the Sumerians he also represented the southwestern wind, bearer of storms. An amulet representing the demon, often as a pendant, was used as a protection against him. In art he is depicted with the body of a man, the head of a man and the face of a lion, talons instead of feet, two pairs of wings, the right hand upward, and the left hand downward; the position of the hands means respectively life and death (or creation and destruction).

newbloodmoon

Left field isn't center field

I wonder in all honesty if other people look at these? And if they do, what do they think about the people who write them? Are these a true glimpse through the window of our souls much like a window to the window of our eyes? Now I am not to terribly concerned about what people might be thinking about me while reading these. It's not like I am really handing out dollops of wisdom, or nuggets of joy. Hell, my Haiku blogs are there for the sole purpose of making them easier for me to find. If people enjoy reading them in a quick and easy format well then good for them. And now for some random tidbits of information.

The answers to the questions.

1) Maybe, I am not sure, undecided, but you could be.

2) The second Tuesday of the third week in the thirteenth month

3) You can't win at that, it's impossible.

4) Dictionary

5) Black magic markers

Video of the day ----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sau4qKLmKHk

Demon of the Day: Beezlebubba - Infernal lord of tractor trailers (sorry you want to know about demons do an internet search, ask your pastor... or other.)

newbloodmoon

Haiku III

Autumn leaves do fall

Making room for winter snow

People pray for spring

Dracula needs blood

Werewolves want to tear you up

Zombies eat your brains

Headless horseman rides

Chasing down Ichabod Crane

Pumpkin head vengeance

Ride the carousel

Far safer than the others

You won't lose your head

Hiding in closet

Where the monsters can't get me

Laughter behind me

Put you in a trance

Then I command you to dance

In giant clown pants

Valkyries attack

Leading the dead soldiers on

Ragnarok is near.

Writing a haiku

On Unexplained Mysteries

This is what I do.

Mad dog on rampage

Rabid foaming at the mouth

Running from Cujo

Howling at the moon

Transforming into a beast

Forever werewolves

Background music plays

Lost teenagers in forest

Soon they will be slayed

Old night hag syndrome

Pressure on chest, I can't breath

Why not Succubus?

The Lord of the Rings

Written by the great Tolkien

Immortal classic

Bring the darkness out

By suppressing the cursed light

Vampires rule us

Night dancing pagans

Coming to steal your children

So says the others

newbloodmoon

Ever have one of those days when your enjoying that perfect picnic. Its a comfy 72 degrees outside, the park lawn is freshly cut and the clippings have been taken away. You sit on a blanket enjoying fantastic food, as well as the company of your greatest friends. The whole time you are admiring the many wonderful views.

The fragrance of flowers are gently wafting under your nose. The smell is not quite enough to make you sneeze and or wheeze in the gentle breeze. It's bar none the perfect day and things are going absolutely wonderful. The next thing ya know ants are crawling up your pants, shorts, skirt, whatever. And I think you get the drift.

Well these little pesties start biting your *** and no not like the love nip your significant other places on your crap streaked, pocked mark, moon cheeks either. These ones sting and burn as the ants assault your pearly white buttocks with their mandibles of doom and tail stingers.

At that very moment in time you jump up screaming "Whaaaaaaaaa! My *** is on fire with the burnings of torment..... " You then start screaming and waving your arms as if speaking in tongues, like a prophet straight out of the bible. In stark reality, you're just a babbling idiot with the fiery hemorrhoid doomness of doom torturing your tush.

The next thing you know your being heralded as the modern day Nostradamus by the crazy little hermit who lives in the bushes. You know the guy, the one who tries to bum money for some cheap Australian wine with a peppermint after burn. He also seems to go through a lot of dogs.

Your friends begin to laugh as the morbidly obese Parents with their three, wheeble wobbily children are sitting only a few yards away with stunned looks on their faces. (now this is going to be a bloody shock and awe moment people so pay attention.) These are the type of children who do fall down, and cannot get up. They begin to cry as you start tearing your clothes off in full view of all the daytime picnickers.

Your Wang is now flopping in the breeze, like a limp noodle in its full heavenly glory. All the while, as your hopping about like an insane lunatic you disturb a hornets nest in the ground. This of course causing them to swarm all around you in an angry, malevolent way.

Ohhh they are so angry that they where disturbed from being angry about the last thing they where angry about. And since they have such tiny little brains, they are super extra angry cause they can't remember what they where angry over in the first place.

By this time the fatty, cottage cheese, thighed children in their way too small, form fitting clothes are screaming in stark terror. And believe you me, there is nothing more interesting to a riled up yellow jacket then a shrill high pitched girlie scream of a victim with no chance of escape. Ohhh let the stinging begin......

Well if you have ever had one of those days, It really, truly sucks to be you. In all actuality, I wouldn't have minded being there. For I am one of those friends that would have probably been laughing.

newbloodmoon

Haiku II

Thought I would add a few more I had posted in the forums for your reading delight. Travel the twisted corridors of my mind if you shall dare.

Costume fiends delight,

In the terror they do bring,

Scaring the masses.

For we are legion

Cast us not into the swine

Human hosts divine

More dirty than me

Covered in creepy crawlies

Gives Heebee Jeebees

It's clickety clack

They're on the verge of attack

Skeletal warriors

Ghastly ghouls screaming

Vampire bats now sucking

Ghost chains are rattling

Weirdos to the left

Carnies to the right of me

Where is the circus?

A bird in the hand

The crow pecking at your eyes

Alfred Hitchcock comes

Staring at the sun

As it rises in the dawn

I have now gone blind

Beware the Oni

Japanese demons are here

To torment your soul

This is Halloween

Its not just for kids and teens

All hail pumpkin king

Night Stalker finds you

His name, Richard Ramirez

Living in Deathrow

Chains rip flesh away

Hell has such sights to show me

Pin Head you devil

No one has told me

How to fold this blasted map

Where is Burkittsville?

Bovines are your friends

Big brown eyes all innocent

Time to heat the grill

Mirror gazing now

Bloody Mary repeated

Seeing her visage

Crossroads of despair

Where the devil makes his deals,

Will you sell your soul?

newbloodmoon

Haiku

Just thought I would post some of my Haiku's here so I won't have to hunt for them later. I wont post all of them, just the ones I really like.

Life's imitation

Parading marionettes

King of Halloween

Will-o-wisps lead on

Through bogs of stench and sorrow

Don't go to the light

Buried deep in ground

You can scream but none do hear

Darkness surrounds thee

Summoning Devils

Selling your soul to Satan

Oh what misery

The kraken awaits

The never ending whirlpool

Is his hellish home

Ashes shotgun arm

Fighting hordes of evil dead

Necronomicon

Swimming to the light

Unknown creatures lunge for me

Halting my progress

Silver headed cane

In the shape of a mad wolf

Fight that gypsy curse

Demons clamor for,

Souls of forgotten children

Holding them hostage

The old gods return

Dispensing of their knowledge

Necronomicon

Gnashing of the teeth

Howling at yonder army

Kill thine enemy

I read a book once

It had no pictures in it

I think I am hooked