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Entries in this blog

Three Pillars Of Clown World in the U.S.A.

There are in my opinion three main pillars in the US that represents clown world to the rest of the planet. Now I know this is just my opinion and some statements can be seen or taken as broad brush strokes painting an odd picture of people in general. There are exceptions to these rules or pillars and not everyone fits in the designated square hole. And now to begin. Pillar #1 - Politics. I have noticed that more and more people who might have fairly centrist views on a topic often get dro

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newbloodmoon in Rambling

Monkey Brain and sports

Okay for complete transparency I’m not a huge sports fan. I do enjoy catching a game or match from time to time and even have some favorite teams. Though I couldn’t name anyone on the roster unless they had their name on their jersey. As an example, I like to watch the Chelsey Premiere League and I root for whatever team is playing against Manchester United, Why you might ask? Well even a casual watcher of football like myself even I can at least name a team other than the one Beckham played on.

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newbloodmoon in General weirdness

Tiny Terrors

So here’s my thought and I’m going to let my fellow UMsters help decide… or I just might do it regardless but still looking for feedback. My thought is creating short horror fiction and posting it here for others to maybe enjoy  

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newbloodmoon in Horror stories

Tis the season to be… wait what? Disney owns that saying? Ahhh bolloks!

So the last week or so like in years past I have been hearing a lot about the war on Christmas. Perhaps in N. Korea and China but not here in the U.S. or other democratic nations. So unless some brown shirt and Jack boot type kick your door in and steal your pagan Christmas tree, mistletoe, and other iconography at gun point then there is no war. believe it or not there are other holidays at this time of year and some predate the birth of the holy baby with ball ping hammer and finishing na

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newbloodmoon in Holiday blog

Beavers underworked due to new union rules.

With the sudden rise in membership of the woodchuck lumber tossing union the local beaver union had to include stricter guidelines in the amount of damn trees a beaver could chew down. Field reporter Timmy Titmouse has had a birds eye view on the situation and he assures us that the situation is as grim as it sounds. when asked her opinion on the subject, Sally Squirrel was quoted as follows. ”I wish this would just stop, non anthropomorphic animals are just acting nuts.” Will thi

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Readers unite

So I recently joined a writing site that wasn’t associated in any way with some of the things I’ve had published. I thought that I would post stories on there that I would consider to be my seconds. They’re not quite polished or are stories that didn’t quite fit what I wanted to submit.  I have two stories in to set up kind of what I would like to do. Put stuf out there that isn’t quite my best but was still fun too write.  I will soon post the url so people can go scope them out. Stay tune

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Chapstick, buttless chaps, and taxes.

So something that just chaps my hide is when people call chaps, butt less chaps (forum friendlier name but we all get it right? Okay, moving on). Why not call them frontless chaps.  Oh, oh,oh, how about moose knucle curtains. For example of moose knuckle watch ‘they live’ with rowdy roddy piper. now the usual rant about taxes, they suck, don’t like paying them. Why not use our tax money for something useful. I vote for sending Hollywood adrift in the Pacific, how bout sending Taylor Swift t

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I think the swan died

Well that was a short lived btreak as some may have noticed from a few postings in the forums. Due to some real life crap that goes on I was pretty messed up for a bit.  I won’t go in to it so don’t ask but some RL friends recommended that I continue to come around. so with that being said i have something in common with Arnold because I like him came back. Well minus the cyborg body that is.

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My swan song

So a couple weeks ago I said I was going to take a break from the internet.  Well I had some reasons for this that I just won’t get in too.  So anyway this will be my final post here at UM so I can put things in order.  Before anyone jumps the gun and thinks the absolute worst, no I’m not going to jail, and I am Not going to hurt myself.  I just have far too many things on my plate at the moment to be coming and posting here.  Thanks to all the people that I have become friends with here, I will

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What’s so hard about about this whole thing?

So I use a music streaming site, I won’t name it but it’s been around a while and yes it is a legal streaming site. I enjoy a very wide variety of music that includes classical (Bach, Motzart, Beetoven etc), 80’s butt rock (don’t ask), 60’s and 70’s rock, Blues, chinese opera, dubstep, industrial, goth, etc. Now the problem is on every channel but one they have recommendations based on the artists I have choosen fairley well. They might be songs that I don’t necessarily like but based on th

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Are you done yet? Wake me when it’s over.

So I decided to take a wee break as opposed to a pee break and drop on in for brain shake.  So I have been working on a writing project for the last (20+ years now) and I am finally happy with the way it’s turning out. Sometimes it drives me bonkers when I get hyper critical about whatever project I am working on.  It’s not so much about being worried about what others think because theit will always be people who don’t like your expression on any sort of art form. other times I can pop out

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Remembering the safe word/phrase

I have a super power.  That’s right a bonafide super power, and some people can’t stand it.  Please let me explain. I was out having a bite at a local sub sandwich shop and I was chating with one of the employees as I am a semi regular customer. Anyway i said something fairly snarky and another customer laughed as the were sucking down a soda. Needless to say but yep it came back pout the nose. The employee asked if they were okay etc and they said ya but went into the bathroom to clean up

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Never sizzle bacon in the nude

With a title like that it should be obvious but you might be surprised. Oh wait you wanted an anidotical story to go with that? Well I personally have never done that, not much for cooking while watching “free willey”. Who would be really, other than a masochist.  There other hobbies I have that are much less likely to put me on a Darwins list. I used to do weird things when I was youn.... scratch that, I still do weird things but they aren’t super cringe worthy. Unless you count watching a

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Weird Al to be next intergalactic ambassador

If and when aliens come to earth hopeing for a good deal at our global yard sale, they should be greated by Weird Al.  How great would that be? The great polka comedian as our ambassador. We couldn’t have William Shatner he would just date the hot one, Bill Cosby? Can we say roofies kids? Of course we can.  Dr. Demento could be the mc but not kanye west, auto tune would probably be the intergalactic middle finger and then Zappo we would be exterminated. Thinking about Daleks, no pepper

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Another wildly inconsistant blog spot

Okay so I know that it’s been a while since my last post, I do sometimes forget as I do a hell of a lot of writing in my non plugged in to the interwebs life. So one might ask what does this U.M. Weirdo write about? Well that’s a good question. I am currently working on a series of short stories for some horror serials, as well as some high fantasy sword and sorcery stuff. I have some dr. Who fan fiction (sorry newer whovians, I mostly write stories about doctors 1-7), perhaps I might post

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Helloween, not hello kitty!

So Haloween is my absolute favorite of all time holiday. It's not just the candy, horror films, or scantily clad revilers (above the legal age of course). It seems that ithis is the time of year when when even the weirdness is weirder than usual. During the summer months, high weirdness gets blamed on the heat, in the autumn it is blamed on the thinning of the veil or the ever increasing darkness as we march to wimter.  Lets just keep things weird, that's all.  So here are a few Haloween mo

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Hey youz guys! A ghostly quandry

So I was talking to a couple of siblings today about ghosties and stuff. Part of that discussion was about how kids see things that go bump in the night easier because they haven't had rhe real world crammed down their gobs yet.  Perhaps it's a little different these days since electronics are so prevalent these days that maybe ghosts have to work that much harder to get noticed. I wonder what a spirit would have to do to pry someones eyes from their smart phone as the played pokemon go. Pe

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Something to think about.

Since humans like to visit the woods to relax and recreate do bigfoot go to the city? If they did would they put on a human suit? After all humans put on monkey suits and act like primates for laughs and giggles. Can you imagine a bigfoot at the outdoor bigfoot comedy club doing their routine in a human suit.  They would open with "you know Gurtok I don't really believe in humans.  All you have for proof is some fuzzy pictures and foot casts, humans don't seem to have toes, how weird is tha

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Happy insurrection day.

Recently the Brexit vote had passed by popular vote, today the U.S. Celebrates their Amerexit.  In the movie Independence day 2 the world will give another right rowdy send off to space aliens. All this shuffling around and exits from this and that I am reminded of a very important saying. "Never trust a bow legged, albino, reticulated, python. They will smooth bite your face off like a rabid monkey barbarion with mange and a flea infestation." Have fun, be safe, and stay off the drape

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Sir, there's a finger in my soup!

I remember a time in highschool, I was in biology and we were having a pop quiz that day.  Roughly 5 minutes in to the quiz some one started saying out loud "bum bum bum bum bum" followed by some one across the room belting out "Flash!", and the whole class sang out "ohh oh, savior of the universe!" needless to say the teacher stopped the test and told us that we passed, merely because they liked that film.  So thank you Flash Gordon, you helped me pass a biology pop quiz.  The lesson of to

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A time honored tradition

Story telling has always been a time honored tradition.  I always enjoyed listening to the story my uncle would tell about how he was killed by the elusive giant tree weasle while off in the jungles hunting pygmy mosquitos. Of course when I questioned the validity of above said story my uncle would angry and possess my pet goldfish named hermes and make it jump out of his bowl to get eaten by the cat. Another story I enjoyed was the one I heard about some time back.... I honestly don't reme

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Don't follow the leader, be the leader..

Erm gosh nabbit, now for something inspirational with a title like that.  I suppose it's acceptable to follow if the view is desirable, or perhaps you don't have the motivation to be a leader. Types of motivation could be a pack of wild dingos attempting to nab the baby srapled to your butt.  I don't recommend this as dingos are deadly poisonous, one look at them and you drop dead.  There are only two known antidotes for dingo poisoning, one is being a naturally born citizen of Australia, the se

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The Mystery of Cat Flatulence

Interesting title is it not? I mean that's why you are here really. It's okay, I won't tell anyone if you are secretly enamored with cat farts, or the mysteries in them. Actually there is no real mystery to a cat fart. Much like any animal, diet, and how much air you actually swallow in the course of a meal will determine whether or not you fart. Farting can be fun, unless you are on the receiving end of the green death bomb from Uranus. This actual blog has no real purpose really, other t

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Aura Protections Part One

I have read various accounts of people using Auras to protect themselves. One of the best descriptions of this I had found in the book "Grimoire for The Apprentice Wizard" By Oberon Zell. It is written with younger audiences in mind (junior and senior high school) but the teachings apply to any and all who wish to learn the craft. It is there for all of us if you open yourself up to the possibilities to working magick. I had developed a method that was completely different from the one in the bo

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