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talking to myself

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personal stuff

Entries in this blog

A Healing Balm

A Healing Balm

A Healing Balm   Listening to another is often a healing balm in a world of misunderstanding and judgement-Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

Struggle, failure, grace

Struggle, failure, grace

Struggle, failure, grace In our struggles, we wake up to choice, in failure, we grow in trust, in growth we see grace at work, giving thanks-Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

Prayer is the doorway

Prayer is the doorway

Prayer is the doorway   The human heart is often divided, wounded, angry, fearful. Grace slowly heals, prayer is the doorway for inner freedom-Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

This is our lot

This is our lot

This is our lot In strength or weakness, fullness and emptiness, this is our lot, but God is always YES our strength in our weakness-BrMD

markdohle

markdohle

Mercy Sunday

Mercy Sunday

MERCY SUNDAY The receiving and giving love and mercy   We love always to our fullest capacity. Though at first, it may be hesitant and fearful, to open up to love takes courage. We also love out of need and of course instinct. However, as we mature and our ability to have an open heart develops, we can slowly learn to love others for themselves alone; as rare as that may be. This week in the Catholic liturgy we celebrate ‘Mercy Sunday’. A feast that focuses on the depth of God’s love for us

markdohle

markdohle

Release

Release

Release   Trust in God allows hope to flourish in the darkest of circumstances; a path, freely chosen, a release from self-absorption-BrMD

markdohle

markdohle

Labeling

Labeling

Labeling Labeling allows us to disregard the humanity of those, we fear or hate. Freeing us from our shared humanity and suffering-Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

Living in Trust

Living in Trust

Living In Trust Trust in God is to be lived, it is a choice, not always easy but the only way to deep intimacy with God is to let go of fear-Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

Human Relationship

Human Relationship

Human Relationships   I believe that one reason that human relationships can be so frustrating is because we unconsciously seek a finite relationship to satisfy the need for the Infinite. The human journey is a difficult one. The further we go from the center, I believe the more chaotic it gets. This is not about ‘religion’, but about a deep spirituality that allows one to live out of one's tradition in a life-giving way for oneself as well as for others.--Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

Life at the Monastery(April)  Newsletter)

Life at the Monastery(April) Newsletter)

Monastery Retreat House Newsletter April 2021   Life at the Monastery   “Rest is in Him alone. Man knows no peace in the world; but he has no disturbance when he is with God.” ― Bernard of Clairvaux, On Loving God   Hello My Friends,   I would like to wish you all a blessed Easter, from everyone here at the Monastery!   This is the time of year to really spend some time pondering, about what Easter really means to us as Christians. As Jesus went through Holy Week, it was an exper

markdohle

markdohle

Easter 2021

Easter 2021

Easter 2021   We have our Easter Vigil at 4:20 AM.  Before the pandemic, we would have around 150 people come for our Vigil service at that time.  For the last two Easter’s, we have done it without guest.  The experience is two-sided.   We miss the guest and will be glad when we can have them back.  It is also nice to be by ourselves for the first time, well, ever.  Next year, the chances are that we will have friends, our very good friends, back with us. The lighting of the ‘fire’ is a hig

markdohle

markdohle

Holy Saturday I broke th cycle of death

Holy Saturday I broke th cycle of death

Holy Saturday   I broke the cycle of evil and death   Yes, my child, as you sit with me in my tomb, you experience the coldness of death, the emptiness left when life is poured out, it was a horror for me, it was not pretended, for I took it all on out of love, all the deaths of all my children throughout time, and still, carry that within my heart, for love never forgets, and is stronger than death.   My death seems to be the end, yet in my sufferings, like in death, I took on

markdohle

markdohle

The Human Journey and Holy Week

The Human Journey and Holy Week

The human journey and Holy Week   The human journey is often a difficult one. With stops along the way, of true joy and hopefully, of love, that rejuvenates us. In the last week of Jesus’ life, he knew what was coming, was distressed, but still believed in his Father's loving presence in his life. His humanity had to deal with all the anxiety that went along with this journey. He did not try to escape but went forward in faith.   All of us will have our 'Holy Week' as well, as our Gethseman

markdohle

markdohle

Letting Go Allows More Life (Chapter Talk)

Letting Go Allows More Life (Chapter Talk)

Letting go allows more life   When we die to something, something comes alive in us. If we die to self, charity comes alive; if we die to pride, service comes alive; if we die to lust, reverence for personality comes alive; if we die to anger, love comes alive.—Fulton Sheen   In Monastic Life, in the Cistercian order, we take a vow of ‘Conversion of Manners’. Vows can be life-affirming if used as a compass on how to traverse the many situations we meet up with on a daily basis. I sup

markdohle

markdohle

A man who failed every Lenten Season    (Saying the Chaplet of Mercy)​

A man who failed every Lenten Season (Saying the Chaplet of Mercy)​

A man who failed every Lenten Season (Saying the Chaplet of Mercy) One day a few years ago, one of the retreatants here approached me and asked to see me. He looked somewhat distraught. As we sat down he told me how frustrated he was with himself over his weakness and inability to live out his resolution for Lent. “I have never had a good Lent,” he told me. I thought to myself, this might not be the best time to let him know that I am pretty much in the same boat as he is. As he talked, I

markdohle

markdohle

Healing Fire

Healing Fire

Healing Fire   Just as a covered object left out in the sun cannot be penetrated by the sun’s rays, in the same way, once the covering of the soul is removed, the soul opens itself fully to the rays of the sun.The more rust of sin is consumed by fire, the more the soul responds to that love, and its joy increases.— Saint Catherine of Genoa   The paradox of the Christian path is that we are called to oneness with God, but we are also called to two-ness.  Within the Trinity, there is a d

markdohle

markdohle

a sign of openess

a sign of openess

A sign of openness   The inner struggle is a sign of openness to change and growth. When there is none, then it could mean deep healing after a long inner journey, or simply not caring.... or a lack of insight that is necessary for any kind of life that leads somewhere. Anywhere that is not filled with the will to power, of trying to fix and control those who are around.... be it family or the workplace in the vain attempt to find some peace.-Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

Letting others see us

Letting others see us

Letting others see us The puzzle slowly gets put together as life moves on, but this can cause the inner struggle, and awareness, to become sharper, and more painful since the opposing elements in the psyche become more apparent. So growth can often seem to be losing ground, when in fact, the simple ability to see one's self truthfully is all that is happening. This can be freeing since self-knowledge, while not leading to more peace, the opposite really can slowly turn a life around to somet

markdohle

markdohle

Love of Life

Love of Life

Love of LIfe Life is a journey, ending date unknown, precious because it is short. Don't forget that reality, it deepens our love of life-BrMD

markdohle

markdohle

Life at the Monastery (March Newsletter)

Life at the Monastery (March Newsletter)

MARCH NEWSLETTER FOR MONASTERY RETREAT HOUSE Life at the Monastery (March Newsletter for the Retreat House) Hello, my friends, All is well here at the Monastery. It is hard to believe we have had this virus with us for almost a year now. The time has just flown by, yet it also seems to me that this virus has been with us forever. I find it strange how it can feel like both things at once. We all received the first vaccines on the 11th of January, and the second on the 12th of February.

markdohle

markdohle

Leadership and service

Leadership and service

Leadership and service   In community life, be it marriage, or a monastery, or even in the workforce, it is service that we are called to. To serve, freely, without compulsion can lead to a sense of purpose, and even of love for those one lives with, or who is a workmate. Those in charge, in fact, if they do a good job, are the greatest servants. I have found that men and women of power, who do care for those they are responsible for, get back one hundred and one percent. It is that ‘one per

markdohle

markdohle

I am challenged by those I live with

I am challenged by those I live with

I am challenged by those I live with Every day in community life I am challenged by those I live with. It is my own limitations, wounds, and yes my desire to be the center of the world, the community, even if unconscious, that causes many of my problems. The “Conversion of Manners’ vow, gives me a way out, in the sense that it leads me to take responsibility for my situation and to not seek to blame others.--Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

To look into one's own heart

To look into one's own heart

To look into one's own heart   I suppose in reality if we wish to grow as human beings, and by that I mean to become more loving, compassionate, and empathetic, which by the way is harder than it sounds; is the work of a lifetime, lived out one day at a time. Many of our ‘virtues’, can, in reality, be mostly compulsive, and in the end, we can become burned out, resentful, and bitter. I have been there, and over the years have looked upon these ‘negative’ responses to others as a signal to

markdohle

markdohle