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talking to myself

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personal stuff

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A convict with a sexual abuse past

A convict with a sexual abuse past

A convict with a rough background (Sexual Abuse)   Most people, I believe, have a rough background, or at least a period of time when things were not optimal for healthy growth. For some, it can be a lifetime of living with their chaotic past, which can actually be generational. That is, passed on from one generation to the next. For others, it can be from being in a home that is temporary, like many foster homes. While there are most likely many foster parents, perhaps the majority, that

markdohle

markdohle

A beautiful Chapter-A talk on the common will

A beautiful Chapter-A talk on the common will

A beautiful Chapter (A talk on the common will in Monastic Life) Br. Philip, our Sub-Prior gave us this chapter talk this last Sunday. I found it extremely well done, as well as insightful. I would like to share it with my friends. Any path that seeks to lead us deeper into union with the Divine Will, is by that very fact counter-cultural and will be often misunderstood. However, as the saying goes, the proof is in the pudding. To live deeply one’s faith, no matter the vocation will draw

markdohle

markdohle

The Struggle with Evil

The Struggle with Evil

This weekend Br. Cassian asked me to give a talk on the working of the Holy Spirit in the world and evil. Since my world for almost 50 years has been living in a monastic world, that was the only world I could speak on. Below are some thoughts on the subject.   Monastic life and the Holy Spirit (the struggle with evil)   The Good Zeal Of Monks (The Rule Of St. Benedict – Chapter 72)   Just as there is a wicked zeal of bitterness which separates from God and leads to hell, s

markdohle

markdohle

In consolation or desolation, trust in God

In consolation or desolation, trust in God

In consolation or desolation, we are called to trust Adore Me is to give Me the freedom to act within you and upon you   Monday, September 5, 2011: There is no need to force your prayer, as if it were something of your own doing. It is enough to remain with Me, content to be in My presence as I am content to be in yours. Adore Me and trust Me to restore your energy, your health, and your joy in My service. Those who adore Me know that My presence renews the soul and the body. Experience th

markdohle

markdohle

The Exultation of the Cross feast day

The Exultation of the Cross feast day

The Exultation of the Cross feast day Preached September 14, 2019, Fr. Cassian OCSO.".   "Make a saraph and mount it on a pole, and if any who have been bitten look at it, they will live." And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life." Here we are given an example of how scripture reverberates with scripture. Seeking these scriptural reverberations was the preferred method of exeges

markdohle

markdohle

She talked about time in Rwanda

She talked about time in Rwanda

She talked about her time in Rwanda   A kind, peaceful looking woman, not one to draw attention to herself, spoke to our group for a few minutes, a very powerful presentation given in a soft, gentle, even, loving voice.   She talked about her time in Rwanda, she was a member of the Tutsi tribe, she went through hell, lost most of her family.   She hid with a few young family members, children, her nephew was almost thrown into the river, yet she said they were spared.   She praye

markdohle

markdohle

A case of self-deliverance (healing

A case of self-deliverance (healing

A case of self-deliverance (healing) The struggle with fear can be one that is hidden from others. It can happen when alone, really alone, like on a country road in the country with no one within miles. A good friend of mine related this story to me” She was going to a church in the country here in Georgia for a talk. The road was a dirt road, no street lights, and no homes within sight. It was then that she suddenly started to become filled with fear. It was so bad that she felt almost

markdohle

markdohle

The challenge that fear presents

The challenge that fear presents

The challenge that fear presents     Fear is a gift, like all emotions and feelings,   If we listen to what is being presented to us it can lead to greater freedom, and healing.   To fear what can hurt or kill us is of course wise, yet irrational fear, mistaken as real, can lead to an inner prison.   Harmful cycles in our lives have a life of their own, always ending in the same situation of pain, fear, and depression. They wrap us in inner chains and drag us.down.   If we do no

markdohle

markdohle

Stepping over the wall of fear

Stepping over the wall of fear

Stepping over the wall of fear Fear is a great gift given to us to help us stay alive in a world where anything can happen in an instant. Rational fears need to be listened to and followed. It is irrational fears that can cause havoc in life. We can freeze, almost go into a fetal position on an emotional level, and be undone. Often over things that are not that big of a threat, or what is being asked of us, that is in reality life-affirming. It is possible for people to allow fear to so d

markdohle

markdohle

Called to break the chains

Called to break the chains

Called to break the chains Fear is here to protect us, to give a warning about danger, however, sometimes fear can be too protective and cut us off from life. Some fears need to be heeded, others to be worked on and passed over, for like overprotective parents some fears can imprison us. We are called to break the chains of the sins others have done against us, so that we may be healers instead of hurters--Br.Md  

markdohle

markdohle

Racing thoughts

Racing thoughts

Racing thoughts   When compulsive thoughts seem to rule, a short phrase for prayer will help, gently said, slowly, without rush, when racing thoughts intrude with a calm spirit remember your prayer, a real prayerful thought freely said, lovingly from the heart, will slowly displace the impersonal racing tapes and movies in one's head,.   Be patient, in time the heart will pray, the reality of Christ Presence will become real, and while there is a struggle, slowly healin

markdohle

markdohle

You will get through this

You will get through this

You will get through this Nothing in life is permanent, neither the good times, nor the bad, each has a season, one pleasant, the other hell-like, anxiety-driven, yet it passes. We are called to be faithful 'this day', or even this one moment, for free choices no matter how small have great significance. Moments are steps we take, each leading to the next, there is no middle ground, we are going forward or backward, so yes life is a struggle,

markdohle

markdohle

Death and Dying 5 insights: by Dorthy Day

Death and Dying 5 insights: by Dorthy Day

Five Insights From Dorothy Day on Death and Dying   We all know that our time is at a premium, yet how do we spend our time? I would think that if we really believed that our lives continue after we 'die', it would spur us to seek to deepen our understanding of life's journey. Do we have an immortal soul, and or we responsible for the kind of people we become? To say we sin means that we can choose otherwise, though the death to self is difficult, achieved by grace.   If God is love, then ar

markdohle

markdohle

A woman in need

A woman in need

A Woman in Need   A woman came today in need, so many tears and fears expressed, another impossible human situation, we did what we could, gave her some numbers, helped her out in other ways, but so much worry and pain, her life changed as they say on a dime.    Sometimes all you can do is take a deep breath and let it out slowly.--Br.MD

markdohle

markdohle

Prisoners are Beloved Children of God

Prisoners are Beloved Children of God

Prisoners are Beloved Children of God   Every once in awhile I like to share something about my experience in writing prisoners.  I fell into it by accident, if truth be told.  One day the abbot brought me a letter from a prisoner about 5 years ago and requested that I write to him.  It is been rewarding for me on many levels.  Some of the men I write to, actually need to be in jail.  Others got caught doing something very stupid when they were young. One prisoner will never get out for w

markdohle

markdohle

The Christian path and Mary’s role

The Christian path and Mary’s role

Mary's role iln the Christian Path Every since I was a small child, I have had a devotion to the Blessed Mother.  I do think because of that, my devotion has not interfered with my intimacy with Christ Jesus, but only over the years deepened it.   This is the experience of untold numbers of Christians from the old expressions of the Christian faith.  Also, I have met many non-Catholic’s who have admitted to me a love of Mary, as well as of the Rosary. There will perhaps never be a time when

markdohle

markdohle

The Funeral of Fr. James

The Funeral of Fr. James

Fr. James’s funeral All the years that I have been here, we have never had such a crowd for a monk’s funeral.  It was a touching, and beautiful, experience for the whole community.  Our lives are interesting, we go through our lives meeting others on a daily basis.  We interact with one another, yet for the most part, it never occurs to us how we have influenced those around us.  We do remember those who have touched us deeply. What we become is made by one choice at a time.  There is no su

markdohle

markdohle

Receiving Fr. James’s Behrens body​

Receiving Fr. James’s Behrens body​

Receiving Fr. James’s Behrens body When a member of our community dies, we gather the day before the funeral to receive the body. I guess this is around my 55th time for this, and a very powerful liturgical event. Family, and friends of the Monastery gather for the ‘Vespers’ for the dead. The body is placed in our bier, and 8 men are the pall-bearers. The body leads the procession to the front of the church, where it is placed beneath the Paschal Candle. The candle that is lit at the East

markdohle

markdohle

Riding the waves

Riding the waves

Riding the waves Emotions rise and fall, fueled by unruly thoughts, like ocean waves, we learn to ride, knowing that it will pass, and calm restored. There are storms and lightning, we may feel like we are drowning, then it calms and we find peace for a time. There is love and friendship, the waves beautiful and they carry us, over the rough eddies that we  must traverse, carrying us into deeper love and trust, learning forgiveness and compassion. In the midst of the whir

markdohle

markdohle

 

How we respond or react

How we respond or react We can sit, or stand or lay down, really we don’t have to do anything, time still flies, what to do? Getting through the day can be rough, yet each moment precious, how we respond and interact with those we meet carries more weight than we may ever know. Freedom or free will is a seed that can only grow by the choices we make, small ones are practice for the big ones, when pressure builds, emotions arise in all their force, it is then we are called to

markdohle

markdohle

Assumption of Mary 2019

Assumption of Mary 2019

Assumption of Mary 2019 “While she lived on this earth,, Mary could only be close to a few people. Being in God, who is close to us, actually, “within” all of us, Mary shares in this closeness of God. Being in God and with God, she is close to each one of us, knows our hearts, can hear our prayers, can help us with her motherly kindness and has been given to us, as the Lord said, precisely as a “mother” to whom we can turn at every moment.” Benedict XVI ++++++++ I have given up trying to e

markdohle

markdohle

Losing focus

Losing focus

Losing focus We must not underestimate how tribal and primitive and fearful we can become. All through history we have reacted with brutality.  Thereby continuing the cycle of violent behavior. Often this reaction is indiscriminate. If we must fight radical Islam, let’s not bring all Muslims into this war. If we do, we will only make things worse and radicalize more Muslims, who will then through their actions, radicalize more non-Muslims. The so-called ALT-Right or certain groups, like

markdohle

markdohle

 

The importance of journaling

The importance of journaling (for writing and Journal Retreat this weekend 8/2-8/4)) Writing down one's thoughts can be a very helpful way to search the depths of the inner life, and in doing so learn what is believed and known by the one writing.  Our everyday consciousness is there to keep us grounded in the world around us, to allow us to relate to those around us in such a way that we are not perceived as a threat, etc.  When living around a great deal of people,, working in crowded work

markdohle

markdohle

 

Dealing with a con-man hopefully in the right

Dealing with a con-man hopefully in the right way We can't help everyone, yet we are called to have compassion. For some, it will be through teaching, or giving spiritual direction. For others working in food kitchens, or going to the homeless and giving food and water. Our gifts are pointers in how we can be of loving service to others. Too overdue, or to try to 'save' everyone from themselves will most likely bring one to exhaustion and burn out. Faith and trust in God's love for all and kno

markdohle

markdohle